Original subtitles

And now, I love Luthi.

Look at this. I had no idea a train was nice as... Oh, Mother, look. They got

the little beds already made up. Oh, it's a beautiful train.

Come here. I'll take the baby, Nicky. All right, Mother.

Oh, come on. Come on.

I can't help it.

Come on.

Gee, these things are heavy.

Why didn't you let the porter carry them, Fred?

I'll give you three guesses.

Well,

I need the exercise. I'm building up my muscles.

You'd get more exercise if you tried to pry open that pocketbook of yours.

Oh, gee, I'm really on a train. This is my first train trip, you know.

You're kidding.

No, she's never been on a train before. Oh, of course I know all about them.

I've seen them in movies and everything. Which car do the spies usually ride in?

Yeah, this wouldn't by any chance be the Orient Express, would it? Oh, Lucy.

Gee, I can't believe it. I'm taking the city of Los Angeles home.

Is that what you've got in these bags?

Are you going to be all right with those, Fred?

Well,

what a silly way to run a train.

What do you mean? Look, Danger, do not touch emergency brake.

Well?

Well, don't tell me if there's an emergency, the engineer has to run way

here to stop the train.

They got one of those in every car.

The engineer has his own set of brakes. Well, I'm awful glad to hear that.

Oh, honey, I can't tell you how happy I am to be going home on a train. I bet

little Ricky's going to enjoy it.

Oh, look, I didn't know they had little hallways like this. I thought they all

had compartments that opened on the outside.

That's only those foreign movies you've been seeing. Oh.

Well, this is our compartment, and Mother must be over here in B.

Yeah. Pardon me. Oh, yes, of course.

Mother, are you and the baby okay?

Hello, Gordon.

How soon do we leave?

Right away, sir.

You can set your watch by the dome liner. Oh, well, that's nice. Let's go

there, please. Oh, isn't this cute?

Ricky? Yeah? There's a little door that connects the two rooms. It's just like a

little apartment.

Well, they think of everything.

Pardon me, sir. Oh, certainly. Thank you, Porter. Thank you, sir.

Oh, look, here they come.

Hey, this is great. We're in the car right ahead of you. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, we're neighbors.

Of course, we're out of the high -rent district.

Uppers, 12 and 13.

Oh. Oh, stop complaining. The altitude's good for your sinus.

Come on in and sit down. No, no, no. We're headed for the diner. The car

behind. The diner? So soon?

Guess who's hungry already.

The bottomless pit.

Oh, now, Fred.

I heard they had wonderful food on this train, and I want to get in there before

it's all gone.

Oh, don't worry. They'll have plenty. They heard you were coming.

We'll see you later. When we get settled, we'll be up here. All right.

Gee, they have all the luck.

Their car's right next to the diner. Well, maybe I can get you a nupper right

over the stove. Then you can just let down a basket for your food.

If I wasn't so hungry, I'd slug you.

amuse him, dear. The crayons are in that little bag, huh?

Ricky!

Yeah, honey? Are you hungry?

Well... Let's go up and join the Mertzes, huh? All right. Okay, I'll just

for a minute to fix up. Okay.

Oh, let's see now. Where's my bag?

You'll have it. Mother, is my bag in there?

No, it's not here.

Well, that's fine.

I don't see it here anyplace.

This long stuff the porter brought in. Are you sure it isn't in there?

Well, no, it isn't in here. Ricky, my bag is gone!

Oh, honey, it can't be gone. It was there a minute ago. My purse is gone.

let's see. I had it when I bought the magazines at the... It's at the

The newsstand. Ricky, go and get it. I can't go and get it. The porter said the

train is leaving right now. Ricky, please, please, go get my purse. Oh,

silly. We'll wire them and they'll send it ahead.

No, Ricky, no. Go.

Honey, what can be so wonderful about that old bag of yours?

It's got the train tickets in it. Oh, no.

I'm sorry.

Hurry up.

Oh, dear. Excuse me, lady.

Excuse me, sir.

Honey.

All visitors out, please.

What do you mean? Why do you say that?

Well, the train's about to leave, ma 'am. But it can't leave. It can't leave.

You tell him to hold the train, Porter. Tell him to hold the train.

I'm sorry, ma 'am.

You'll have to speak to the conductor.

We're moving.

Hey, stop the train. You have to stop the train. I'm sorry, madam. I can't do

that. Stop this train.

Lady, I can't stop this train once it's started. We have rules, you know. But my

husband isn't on yet. Please, we left him back at the station.

Well, he can take a cab and pick us up at Riverside.

Riverside? Oh, no.

The train just made a slight hesitation.

That's too bad. Oh, he'll make it. I hope so. Oh, come on, Fred. Let's go get

out of this food and into something more comfortable. I suppose so.

Did you

stop

this train?

You.

Well, uh... Madam, did you stop this train by pulling that handle?

Well, I didn't do it by dragging my foot.

I told you not to.

And I told you that my husband wasn't on the train yet.

In the future, madam, would you allow me to decide when and where this

train shall stop?

Gladly. Thank you.

And now, if it meets with your approval, I would like to inform the engineer

that he may proceed.

According to our schedule, we are already several minutes late.

Thank you.

What happened? You look like you ran into something.

I did.

Why? The back of the train.

Why did you do that?

I had just gotten your purse when the train started to leave. So I ran after

I was catching up with it. And I was just making a flying leap for the back

the train.

Have you a board, dear?

Why did they stop the train? I thought it was a way. Well, maybe there was a

on the track.

A cow on the track? We haven't gotten out of the city yet. Go ahead. Now, if

get washed up, it's all right, dear.

Mother, are you ready to go and eat? Oh.

The baby's so sleepy. We'd better stay here. But will you bring us something?

Oh, sure, dear. Here, I'll give you the tickets in case the conductor comes by.

Oh, okay. I'll bring you a little sandwich or something. Okay. Come on,

All right, then.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, hi. Where are you going? To the diner.

You're going to eat again?

What do you mean, again?

We didn't get anything to eat. Our food just came when the train stopped.

I got so many mashed potatoes on my shirt, Ethel will never have to starch

again.

All right. You want two?

Yeah, we'll go ahead.

Excuse us.

Thank you.

May I see your ticket, please?

Oh, yes, I have a ticket.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm very sorry, madam, but you're in the wrong compartment.

Well, this says Compartment B. Yes, but this calls for Compartment B and 107.

This is 108.

Oh, but my daughter and her husband are in that compartment.

Well, I'm very sorry, lady. I have to go buy the tickets.

I'll show you to the other compartment.

Oh, dear. Oh, Sam.

Yes, sir. Will you get this luggage? We'll have to move it down to the next

Yes, sir.

Hey,

just follow me, please. Okay.

Oh, my.

Hello, Mr. Estes. Oh, hi. Thank you.

Your ticket?

Oh, here you are.

Thank you.

How's the jewelry business? Oh, very successful trip. Very successful.

All right.

Well, it must be successful if you have to wear that.

Oh, I always carry this. Never had a case to use it, though. Good.

Terribly sorry. I must have the wrong car.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, sir, but I left my mother and child in there, and I... Well, I'm

sorry, madam. There's no one in here but me. Well, are you sure? I know that I

left them in there. You see, we're in compartment A, and we haven't even

in compartment B. Madam, I'm the only one in here.

Tickets call for compartment B, but in 107.

107, 107.

I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life.

Everybody in the train is talking about the screwy redhead with the itchy

trigger finger.

You would have done the same thing. He's carrying a gun.

A lot of people carry guns.

You don't. It's a good thing I don't.

Probably a detective.

No, no, no. That's a criminal type if I ever saw one. Close -set BBI's and a

weak chin.

Detectives have wide, set eyes and a strong chin.

Don't look at me. My hands are clean.

Oh, this must be Riverside, huh?

Yes? Police?

Police?

What can I do for you? Would you mind showing me your identification?

They are.

Ricky Ricardo?

Well, say, my kids have all your phonograph records.

Well, that's nice. Thank you. I'm sorry to bother you, but we've had a big jewel

robbery in L .A., and we're checking on all trains, planes, and buses going

east. Oh, I see. Well, I hope you guys are safe. Thank you, Mr. Ricardo.

Good night, folks. Good night.

Mr. Detective, sir.

Yes, ma 'am?

Uh, if you're going in the next compartment, be careful. That man's

gun.

Thank you, Mrs. Ricardo.

You're quite welcome, sir.

Please.

Why don't you mind your own business?

I am minding my business as a citizen.

That's terrible.

It sure is. I can't hear a thing.

Well, we'll hear plenty once the battle starts. You better lie down. Get out of

the range of flying bullets.

That's funny.

That's funny.

He's going off without him.

Why couldn't he see that that man is a criminal?

Well, maybe it's because the detective's eyes are so far apart and his are so

close together.

How can you make jokes? Aren't you concerned about riding all the way to

York with a... criminal in the next compartment with carrying a gun?

No. I'm a lot more concerned of running all the way to New York on an empty

stomach. Oh, good. Come on, I'm hungry.

All right. Let's go.

Uh, you go ahead, dear. I want to get my lipstick.

I'll be right along. All right.

All right, come on in, miss. I want to talk to you.

Some other time.

Hey.

I peeked through the door. I peeked through the door and I saw him. I told

to stay out of this. I saw him. I saw a million dollars worth of diamonds in

there, honey. I saw him with my own eyes. Listen to me. Listen to me.

Now, look, the police have talked to this man in there.

Now, it's the police case. As far as you're concerned, this is finished. This

the end.

And I don't want you to talk to anybody about it. Do you understand?

All right.

Especially, I don't want you to tell Ethel about it.

Oh, Ethel.

I'm glad you reminded me not to tell Ethel.

four seats together someplace?

Well, there's two right down there. Well, you and Ricky take those, huh?

and I want to sit and chat. All right.

Come on, Rick. Let's bless Jim and Robbie. All right.

I've sent in postcards. I should do it. I should go in and see what you got.

Hey, don't forget what I told you. I know, I know. All right.

What was that all about?

Ricky told me not to tell you something.

Well, you're not going to let a little thing like that stop you, are you?

Listen, Ethel, if Ricky told me not to tell you something, I'm certainly not

going to... Good, they're gone.

What is it?

Do you know why that detective got on at Riverside?

No, I'm just dying to ask him. Why?

He's looking for a big jewel thief from Los Angeles.

Really? Yes, and I know who it is. And what's more, he's aboard this train.

Who is he? He's the man in the compartment next to ours.

How do you know that?

Well, for one thing, he was carrying a gun. And when I peeked through the door,

I saw... Lucy, what were you doing peeking through the door? Do you want to

this or don't you? Oh, yeah. All right, when I peeked through the door, I saw a

million dollars worth of diamonds.

Are you sure? I have never seen more diamonds outside of Tiffany's window.

I'll bet he's the biggest jewel thief in the whole world.

I'll be right back.

Where are you going? Oh, I left my opal brooch in my overnight bag and I want to

get it and pin it to my... I want to pin it.

Pardon me, miss. I couldn't help overhearing. Are you sure of what you

Positive.

Good work.

Special agent.

My identification.

Oh, I should have known. I can tell you fellas miles away.

Now, you say this fella's in the compartment right next to yours, huh?

compartment B, car 108.

Clothes set, beady eyes, weak chin.

That's our man, all right. We better not waste any time. Come on.

Me? Well, I need your help in capturing this dangerous criminal.

Oh, well, I... Now, look, miss.

I'm not asking you.

This is an order. Your government needs you.

Yes, sir.

He's right in there.

What are you going to do, rush him?

No, I don't want any bloodshed.

Oh, gee, you fellas are clever.

I'll hide.

Then I want you to get him into this compartment and I'll have a drop on him.

Okay. How am I going to get him in here?

You're a woman, aren't you?

Yes. Well?

You mean lure him in?

Gee, this will look great in my memoirs.

I was a woman for the FBI.

That's great. Pretend you're sick.

Now go on. All right.

Send them sick.

Help.

Help.

Help. Help.

Help. Help. Help.

Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help.

Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help. Help.

Help. Help. Help.

Help.

Well, you don't need that. He's unconscious.

Oh, boy.

You don't need that. He's unconscious.

I know.

I made a boo -boo.

He's not the man the police are looking for?

I promise you. I can promise you. Oh, you don't have to promise me anything.

You're the only living person that can identify me. Oh, yeah, that's right.

We're going to walk out of here and stop between the next two cars. Before.

Never mind.

All right.

Remember, I got this gun on you. Yeah, I'll remember.

All right, come on. Okay.

No more funny business, you understand?

I understand. Oh.

Oh.

Pardon me. Pardon me. I beg your pardon. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

from the engineer.

Never mind that. I got the real jewel slip.

This is the guy. Grab the jewel case.

That's the guy that they were looking for. That's the real jewel slip. In the

compartment back there.

Say, Mrs. Riccardo, how did you happen to find out this man was a criminal in

the first place? Well, I don't know. I guess I'm just a natural -born

That, plus the fact that she's a natural -born snoop.

Say, Mrs. Riccardo, how about one shot there, you holding the emergency handle

like you caught the criminal?

Okay, Frank, get this.

Excuse me. Yes, of course.

Excuse me.

Oh, no!

Tonight's cast included Frank Nelson, Lou Krugman, Harry Bartell, Catherine

Carr, Joseph Crehan, Sam McDaniel, Sonny Boyne, and Louie Nicoletti.

We are grateful for the splendid cooperation given us by the Union

Railroad.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at the same time.