Original subtitles

Did you see this picture of Ricky in the paper? Yeah, I saw it. Lucy, did I

leave my glasses here last night? Yeah, Fred, right there.

You don't sound very excited.

Ricky Ricardo crowns queen of the automobile show.

That's the third one this week.

Ricky's crowned more queens than the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Oh, I think it's a very good picture, don't you, Fred? Yeah, this automobile

queen's got a nice chassis.

I meant the picture of Ricky.

Ricky?

Hey, here's a picture of Ricky, too.

That's all, brother.

What's wrong with this? Well, look.

Ricky Ricardo dedicates new freeway.

Ricky Ricardo opens supermarket.

Ricky Ricardo judges dog show.

Well, publicity is mighty important.

Yeah, look at this. Mammoth car wash open.

Ricky Ricardo left tosses in first soapy sponge.

What's the matter with that?

Well, they had to say he was on the left so people could tell which one was the

sponge.

Ah, let's face it, Ethel. You don't win Academy Awards by patting poodles on the

head and crowning queens.

I don't think that studio is ever going to give him a picture. Oh, sure they

are. Well, it has been a long time. Now, what does Ricky think about it? Oh, the

poor thing hasn't got time to think he's so busy hopping from one publicity

stunt to the other.

Where's Peter Rabbit now?

This you won't... believe he is out judging a mambo contest.

He has to dance with 100 young college girls. Can you think of anything worse

than that?

Yeah, I can think of a couple of things.

Well, this just can't go on. This is not the way to... Oh, here he is.

Hi, Ricky. Hi, everybody.

Hi, dear.

How'd everything go?

All right, I guess.

Ricky, did you really have to dance with 100 girls?

That's what they taught me. I lost count sometimes.

Oh, he's been dancing since 10 o 'clock this morning.

Honey. Honey, come on. No, no, honey. Stop it.

Come on, now. Just sit down there. Come on, now. Sit down.

Poor boy.

Honey, I've just been going through your scrapbooks, and suddenly I got a very

objective picture of just what's been happening to you since you came to

Hollywood. Yeah?

This is the last publicity stunt you are going to do.

It is?

Yes.

foot down.

Well, pick it up again, because I'm on the contract with the studio, you know.

They're paying my salary every week. Yeah.

He has to do what they say.

That's right.

Besides, they've been in the picture business a long time. They know what's

for me. Well, I've been in the Ricky Ricardo business a long time, and I know

what's better for you. Look, honey, I don't like it either, but what am I

to do?

What can he do?

I'll tell you what he can do. He can march himself right out there and demand

that they give him a picture to star in.

And suppose they don't?

You tell them they have to give you a picture or... or... or...

Or what?

Or else.

Or else what?

Oh, you keep out of this.

Can't you just say, you give me a picture or else and let them worry?

Why don't you just forget it, eh? I feel better if I know that you're not

worrying about my career.

Awful tight. I'm going to go lie down for a while. Okay.

Take a hot bath, honey. Yeah, something.

Honestly, I don't know what's happened to him.

Forget it, Lucy. The studio knows what's best for him. They do not. They're

letting a great talent slip right through their fingers. If only I could

Ricky to do something about it.

Well, what do you want him to do? Walk in and say, you better use me because my

wife thinks I'm very talented.

Well... Well, the trouble is that Ricky hasn't got an agent to go in and fight

for him.

Fred, when will you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?

Now, what did I do? You just lit a fuse that may lead to the biggest explosion

we've seen yet.

An agent.

Of course that's what he needs. Somebody to go in there and tell them how good

he is and how many other offers he's had.

But Ricky hasn't got an agent.

He has now.

Gee, I'm glad you gave me this idea, Fred.

What idea?

The idea for this whole plan.

What plan?

This plan worked.

What's the matter with you, Fred?

Well, I'm just practicing my answers for when Ricky asks me if I know anything

about this.

What idea, Ricky?

What plan are you talking about?

Lucy who?

Oh, Fred.

Lucy, I don't think you better meddle in this. Now, look, Ethel, Ethel,

nothing's going to go wrong. I'm just going to go out there and light a fire

under Dory Sherry.

Well, I hope he's wearing asbestos britches.

603311. Oh, now, Lucy.

No.

Hello, MGM. I'd like to speak to Dory. Oh.

I just remembered. Dory Sherry knows me.

Yes.

I'd like to speak to the vice president in charge of Ricky Ricardo, please.

Ricky Ricardo.

Who is he? He's one of your biggest stars.

Who is he?

to discuss his contract.

Walter Riley, thank you.

Uh, hello, Mr. Riley.

I'm calling for Miss McGillicuddy of the Trans -Britain Scream Agency.

Yes, this is Miss McGillicuddy's secretary.

Yes, we just signed a new client, Mr. Ricky Ricardo.

Miss McGillicuddy would like to come in and discuss his contract with you.

Lucy, are you still here?

Yeah, I thought Ricky would never leave. I'm going to be late for my appointment

with Mr. Riley.

Well, your mother wants a little robe for the baby.

Oh, well, you know where they are, honey.

Yep.

Hi. I thought you'd left.

Well, I went down to the car to get my guitar.

Oh. You're not going anyplace, are you?

Hmm? You're not going anyplace, are you?

Uh, no.

Oh, hi. Hi, Ethel. Hi, Rick. Listen, I... I got to sing at the opening of a

bowling alley this afternoon, so I thought maybe you... Would you listen to

song and say if you think it's all right?

Sure. Opening of a bowling alley?

Yeah.

It's an old Spanish song, you know.

Oh, honey, that's wonderful.

Well, that's just the verse. Now listen to the chorus.

Y me quieren robar el divino penal de

adorarte Pues que

quieres vivir y volver a sentir la otadía

De manchar la esmeralda

de tus ojos

Listen, uh, do you want to come with me?

Uh, no, no.

No, it's such a lazy day. I'm just going to lo -

Frankie Ricardo's agent, a Miss McGillicuddy, is here.

Ask her to come in, would you please, Miss Klein?

Yes, sir.

How do you do, Mr. Riley?

How do you do, Miss McGillicuddy?

Down, Riley.

I do not believe that women in business deserve any special privileges.

As you say.

Now then, let's get down to cases.

Well, you see... After all, he didn't come all the way out to California just

crown queens and open supermarkets, you know.

Yeah, well, we understand all that. We're just trying to keep his name

the public until we put him in a picture.

And just when do you think that might be, Mr. Riley?

Well, to tell you the truth, we can't seem to find just the right property for

him. Uh -huh.

Well, you see, he's a little difficult to cast.

Not...

in from New York, where a very famous team of producers have a big musical

are just frantic to star Ricardo in.

Famous team of producers?

Yes, of course, I can't reveal their names, but Oscar and Dick are just wild

about the boy.

They really want him, eh?

Unquestionably. But I said to them, you can't have him, Oscar, and neither can

you, Dick.

This throws an entirely new light on things.

I thought it would.

around here. I'm sure it could.

I'd better call Mr. Sherry about this.

I think you should.

Uh, Mr. Sherry, please.

Hello, Dory. Uh, Walt.

Say, uh, Ricky Ricardo's agent is in here and... Well, he has one now.

Yes. She's been telling me that Ricky has an offer to star in a Broadway show.

Well, that's the way I feel about it, too.

He's a great talent.

We should have used him in a picture long before this.

Oh, I agree with you completely.

I think it should be right away.

All right.

I'm sure she'll be delighted.

All right.

Goodbye.

Well, Miss McGillicuddy, I have great news for you.

Yes? Yes. We have decided to release Ricky from his contract.

we have decided to release Ricky from his contract.

But I... He's released?

Surprised? Yeah.

Why am I surprised?

Well, I don't blame you. You know, we don't do this very often, but we're very

fond of Ricky, and we don't want to stand in his way. Yeah, well, then...

Yeah, well, I'll need it.

I may be back in New York in time for the opening of his show.

If I am, perhaps you can send me some passes, eh?

Yeah.

Well,

thank you so much for dropping in.

Uh, Mr.

Riley? Yes?

See you at the opening.

Could you come in, please, Miss Klein?

Yes, Mr. Riley. Mr. Riley, I've been looking it over, and I can't do this to

you. How do you mean? Well, look at it this way.

You release Ricky from his contract. He goes to Broadway and becomes a

tremendous success.

And then Metro buys the film rights to the musical, and they want Ricky to play

the lead.

Naturally, since Ricky has become such a huge success, I have to demand a huge

salary.

contract to you and he was released, they demand to know who released him.

And every finger points to you, Walter Ryan.

They fire you immediately.

And no other studio will hire such a dunce.

You become a penniless bum.

Now, I don't want to have to go through life knowing...

that I was responsible for making you, Walter Riley, end up in the gutter.

I appreciate your concern, but I'm afraid I'll just have to take that

Miss McGillicuddy.

Goodbye.

He's released, huh?

Goodbye,

Miss McGillicuddy.

Bye.

Come in, Miss Klein.

Yes, sir. Mr. Riley.

Mr. Riley, you're doing lots of remakes. Why don't you take one of your big hits

and do it over for Ricky? Tailor it for him.

Dear A .J., uh, dear A .J., regarding your visit here to us next month to

discuss plans for the coming year, I have already set up meetings for you

the heads of the various departments and arranged a press party for you.

Dory wants you and your wife to spend a weekend... Mr. Wright!

Are they just going to keep on like they're going now?

Well, there's no other alternative, is there?

Why?

They released him from his contract.

Oh, no.

Oh, Lucy, when Ricky finds out you got him fired, he'll kill you.

If I could only be sure, that's all he'll do.

How did this happen, Lucy?

Well, I went in to talk to Mr. Riley, and I told him that...

That Ricky had a big musical on Broadway and he called Dory Sherry and they said

they didn't want to stand in his way.

And they released it.

There's just one thing I can do, Ethel. What?

I'm just gonna have to face him with what I've done.

Oh, you know Ricky's temper.

Yeah, we've met.

Well, you're gonna meet again.

I don't want to be here for the reunion.

I've done a terrible thing. I've ruined his career.

Anything he does to me, I deserve.

Oh, now, honey.

For 14 years, Ricky's been trusting, devoted, understanding.

selfish, meddlesome, bungling, scheming, conniving, and... Irritating,

headstrong, obnoxious, self -centered.

All right, Ethel, let him alone. He's right.

Well, as long as it's open season, how about petty, childish, stubborn, vain?

All right, let's not get carried away.

What are we standing here for? Ricky will be here any minute.

Come on, you better hide. in our room. Yeah, come on. Come on now, honey. You

can leave him alone and then come back when the storm blows over. No, I'm going

to stay right here and face him. What with a chair and a whip?

I'm not going to let you do it. Now, come on. You better come with us. No,

not. Come on now, honey. Come on. Hi, everybody.

Hi.

Oh, um, uh, Rick, uh, Lucy, uh, uh, uh, Ricky.

Ricky.

Ricky.

I have something to say to you. Well, I'll see you later.

So long, Rick.

See you around.

What's the matter with them?

They don't want to watch and I don't blame them.

Watch what?

Give me a kiss.

One last farewell kiss.

What's the matter with you, honey?

Ricky, I went out to MGM today and got you fired.

ended it and pretended that I was your agent.

You what?

with us for a long time.

Oh, if only you hadn't gone out there today.

Yes, but I did.

I have an idea.

How can you stand there in the middle of all this mess and utter those four

horrible words, I've got an idea.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Text us all 3311.

She's a cool one. She's returning to the scene of the crime.

I don't know that I was the one that was out there today.

Hello, Mr. Riley.

Mr. Riley, this is Miss Ricardo, Ricky Ricardo's wife.

Yes, Ricky wanted me to call you and warn you about something.

It seems there's some woman going around town claiming that she's Ricky's agent.

She was in your office today.

Mr. Riley, Ricky doesn't have an agent.

No, she certainly is not. And as for that nonsense about Ricky going to

for a pic... Well, I know she's been going

around saying that.

Yes, Mr. Riley, Ricky is very happy working at Metro and he wishes to

their long...

place up. But it really doesn't matter because... I'll tell you it doesn't

matter. What do you mean?

Well, I got myself an agent and he already got me a job at another studio

three times the money.

Huh? You know, getting me out of that metro deal was the best thing you've

done.

Three times the money. Imagine that.

And not only that, but they're going to star me in four pictures in a row.

give you a contract.

will be brought to you by Lilt Home Permanence.

Mr. Riley was played by Parley Baer and the secretary was Helen Cleave.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.