Original subtitles

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all about it, but there is nothing that I can do. Oh,

Ricky, you don't understand what this means to me. I understand perfectly. You

do not. You couldn't just stand there and see me suffer like this. If Carolyn

Appleby comes here this afternoon and I don't have some movie stars here to meet

her, my name is mud.

Well, it's all your fault.

You wrote her all those letters telling her that you were hot -nubbing with

movie stars.

Now she's in town and you can't produce them.

So why do you have to write all those bragging letters?

It was perfectly legitimate. It made my letters more interesting, more readable.

The awful thing is Carolyn sneaking into town like this.

Sneaking into town?

She's on her way to Hawaii.

Yeah, well, she planned this whole trip just to show me up.

Well, I'm sorry. You're always telling people stories that are not true. I'm

going to the pool.

Just a minute.

Yes?

Ricky, I'm not asking for much.

All I... want is a half a dozen movie stars for a couple of hours.

Now, if you can't do this simple little thing for me, I'll... I'll kill myself.

Kill yourself?

Yes.

Well, you got a lovely day for it.

Ow!

Hi. I just saw Ricky leave.

Any luck? No.

would Harpo Marks be?

Wonderful. Get him. Wait a minute. I didn't say I could get him. Well, then

about him? I know where he is. Oh, fine.

Now, he's appearing in a luncheon here today at the hotel, and maybe we could

get him to drop by.

Oh, sure. Maybe we could get Princess Margaret to fly over for tea.

You never know unless you ask.

Well, all right. You run and ask Harpo. I'll call Princess Margaret. Okay.

Why should he want to do us a favor? He doesn't even know us.

I guess you're right.

Well, all we can hope is that Carolyn loses her glasses again and can't find

hotel.

Hey, wait a minute.

Carolyn can't see a foot in front of her face without her glasses, can she?

No.

What if we could get her glasses away from her?

And?

What are you doing?

I was just trying to see if I was real nearsighted, if maybe you couldn't pass

for Marilyn Monroe.

Yeah? Yeah, pull your hair down over one eye.

Now walk like Marilyn.

Oh, no, nobody's that nearsighted.

Thanks a lot.

Hey, that magic shop up on the boulevard sells masks that look like movie stars.

Maybe if you wore a mask...

hot rubber mask all afternoon.

All right, then I will. Oh, you can't get away with wearing a mask.

I could if I got her glasses off her. And how are you going to do that?

Well, let's see.

Uh, when Carolyn comes in, uh... Oh, hi, Carolyn.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

shoot her when she walks through the door.

Then you won't have to bother about getting a mask.

Well, come on, we'll go get the mask right away. We can figure out how to get

her glasses off later, huh?

Hi.

Carolyn isn't here yet, huh? No.

Listen, you didn't lock your door, did you? No, I got the door all open, and I

got your mother to take the baby to the zoo for the afternoon, and I got your

costumes all laid out on the bed just waiting for you to get in them. Okay,

now... The important thing for you to remember is that you have to keep

real busy while I'm changing from one outfit to the other. I know.

Now, let's see. When I got the Harpo Marks outfit on, I don't have to talk,

don't have to worry about that. Now, when I've got the others on... Yes, yes.

phones will come by.

Well, like I told you, Clark, Bing, and Gary will be here, and Ronnie and

Benito. Oh, no.

No, Ronnie and Benito were here last week. They probably won't drop in again

this week. Oh.

But Harpo Marks is staying in the hotel. He said he might come up. Oh, he's one

of my favorite funny men. Well, good.

And you never can tell who else might drop in, you know.

Carolyn, your glasses are all smudged.

I want you to be able to see the movie stars real good. You better let me clean

them for you.

Isn't that a wonderful idea?

I bought it when I lost my glasses. That will never happen to me again.

Oh, these are clear.

I can see real good.

Oh, chocolate.

Carolyn, dear.

Yeah.

Just how bad are your eyes without your glasses?

Oh, I... Are you kidding, Lucy?

I can't see a thing. Oh, come now.

No, really, I can't. Oh, I don't believe that. Well, take them off. Let me test

you. Well, all right. But you'll see, I just can't see a thing. Oh, I don't

believe it. What does that say?

Uh, oh, I can't see that. Yeah, well, try.

Come on, try.

Well, for heaven's sake, they are gone.

Oh, they must be here.

You kids look for the glasses. I got a lot to do before the gang gets here. I

got to go next door and borrow some sugar.

Borrow sugar in a hotel?

Oh, well, we're just all one big happy family here.

I just don't understand that they couldn't have simply disappeared into

air. I'm so sorry, honey.

Ethel, do you suppose that's a movie star?

I have a feeling it might be.

Come here.

Why,

Gary! Who is it? Who is it? It's Gary.

Yep. Thank you for dropping by, Jerry.

Yep. Thanks a lot.

Yep. Come again.

Yep.

Oh, Coop's a doll.

Too bad he couldn't stay. You'd have loved him.

Gee, he looks so handsome, too.

From what I could see.

Gee.

since we came to Hollywood. You did?

Here's another one.

Come in.

That's too bad, but I want you to meet a friend of mine, Carolyn Athelbay. How

do you do? Up, up, up.

Catch his cold.

Well, who cares?

Imagine me being able to tell the girls back home that I caught a cold from

Clark Gable. Honey, I'm not going to let you catch a cold. Now, Ethel, you're

the only one in the house.

Now, look what you did. You scared him.

Well, I'm sorry.

I guess I was awfully rude, but I... I'm just going to help myself.

Aren't you excited?

a couple of actors to come over there and visit.

Carly would have been happy, Lucy would have been happy, and everything would

have been all right.

I know she exaggerates and she shouldn't tell all those stories, but she has a

good side to her.

Don't you think so, Fred?

Huh?

You haven't listened to a word I said. I was telling you the way that I felt

about Lucy.

Lots of women, yeah.

you do me a favor?

Huh?

No.

No, I don't need any money. Let me tell you what it is. Lucy has a girlfriend of

hers here from New York City, and this girl is just dying to meet a big movie

star. Big star like you? Yes!

So listen, Harpo, would you do me a favor and go up to room 315

and pay him a visit?

this has been the most thrilling day.

Imagine meeting Bing Crosby and Walter Pigeon and Clark Gable and Gary Cooper

all in the same day.

Do you think anyone else will drop by?

Oh, I have a feeling someone will.

There's one now.

Pleased to meet you.

Excuse me for staring, but I lost my glasses.

What a catastrophe!

Oh, Jimmy.

Will you stay and have a cup of tea?

No, thanks. I got an apartment.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, to Lou and to you, too.

It's just been a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Durante.

Good night, Mrs.

Appleby, whoever you are.

Fix my face before I get back.

Yeah, fix your face.

talking about? The real Harpo Marx was just here.

What would he be doing up here? I don't know, but he said he was going to go get

his harp.

There he is. Go hide. Not in there.

Carolyn's in there.

Hide in the kitchen.

Thank you. Oh!

Oh, my goodness, it's getting late. I've got a plane to catch. Oh, yeah. Well,

it was awfully nice seeing you, Harpo.

And thanks so much, Ethel, for everything.

I'll see you at the elevator. Yes, and be sure and thank Lucy for... It was

wonderful. Goodbye.

And Harbo Marx portrayed himself.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.