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Original subtitles

Operator, are you sure you're calling the right number in New York City?

Muriel 5 -9 -0 -9 -9.

Well, I don't understand it. They should answer.

What's the matter, dear?

Look,

Ricky, I lied to you before we were married. I really don't understand

Now, what's the matter with Hedda Hooper?

We've been here five whole weeks, and she hasn't had my name in the paper

And neither has Roelia Parsons.

All they talk about is Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe.

What has Marilyn Monroe got that I haven't got?

Well, I'm sorry, dear, but you'll get your own publicity in due time. Yeah,

well, I'm going to get my own publicity, that's what I'm going to do. That's a

good idea. Yes?

Oh, well, thank you very much, operator.

They don't answer. I wonder where Mother and Little Ricky are. I've been calling

the apartment all morning.

Well, maybe they went to the park.

Well, they wouldn't stay in the park this long.

You don't think something could have happened?

Well, I don't know.

Your mother in the park with all those squirrels running around.

Hey, maybe they're on their way out here. In her last letter, she said they

getting ready.

Well, don't you think she would have let us know?

Well, you know how Mother is.

Yeah.

You take that back.

What? What you were thinking when you said, yeah.

Mother wouldn't forget to send a wire.

Oh, no?

Let's just hope that she doesn't forget to bring the baby with her.

Morning.

Hi, come in.

I know one thing. If we don't hear soon, I'm going to call Mrs. Trumbull. What's

the matter, honey? I've been calling New York all morning. There's no answer in

the apartment.

Well, maybe your mother took the baby to the park. I wouldn't stay in the park

for four hours. You're just worrying because you're so far away. Well, it's

back there now. You know, it's the middle of winter. You don't stay in the

Oh, hi, Bobby. Hi. Telegram for me? Well, I don't know whether it's for you

not. We've been trying to figure it out down at the desk. Now, it's either for

you or we'll have to forward it to Japan.

What?

This is Mickey Mercado.

This from your mother.

What'd you say?

Arriving 9 .30 with little Ricky, love mother.

Hey, it's little Ricky and I'm big Mickey.

Well, at least she sent us a wire, told us she's arriving at 9 .30.

Hooray for mother.

A .M. or P .M.? She doesn't say.

What day?

She doesn't say.

She doesn't say.

Whatever happened to that woman's brain?

She doesn't say.

Come on, give it to me. Maybe I can figure it out. They sent the wire last

night, so they must be arriving at 9 .30 this morning. I'll call the airport.

International Airport, please.

Gee, maybe they're waiting for us out there right now.

Fly information.

Oh, why didn't they deliver that telegram sooner?

Just be thankful you didn't have to wait till it came back from Japan marked not

known at this pagoda. Oh.

Hello. Will you please tell me if any of the airlines have a flight due in at 9

.30 this morning?

Well, how about 9 .30 tonight?

No, huh?

Well, thank you very much. Wait a minute. Maybe there's a flight number 9

Hold it.

Okay. Any of the airlines have a flight... number 930?

Yes?

What time is it doing?

1 .55.

Good.

From Bombay?

Bombay? Well, with your mother, no.

Even she wouldn't go from New York to Los Angeles by way of India.

Thank you very much.

Don't say it. You're right, but don't say it.

just have to stay here and wait for her to find us. Oh, honey, she might never

find us.

Yeah.

She's got the baby with her.

I'll get it, honey. Thanks.

Hello?

This is Lucy.

Oh, it's Mother. Mother!

but we didn't understand your wire.

Tell her to stay right there and we'll come and get her. Yeah, Mom, listen. You

stay right where you are and we'll come and get you.

Now, Mother, please do just as I say. Stay where you are and we'll come and

you as soon as we can.

Okay, dear. Bye.

Come on, let's all walk to the airport and get her. Yeah, come on. I don't want

your mother running around loose too long. Come on, let's go. Here we go.

Well,

I still think we should have waited out at the airport. I'm sure Mother was out

there somewhere.

But, honey, we were there a whole hour.

Yeah, and we looked every place but in the windsock.

Oh, Fred.

Don't make jokes. I'm serious. I'm worried sick.

Well, what are we going to do, Rick?

come out to California?

I just put him down, but he's not asleep.

Oh, honey, we told you to stay there. What happened?

Well, I got so terribly bored just sitting there.

Well, look, Mrs.

McGillicuddy, why didn't you tell where you were?

I mean, we've been looking all over the airport.

What for?

For you.

Well, now, Mickey, that wasn't very bright.

I wasn't at the airport.

Well, where were you when you called?

Down in the lobby.

She didn't ask me.

12 .30. What time is it doing?

12 .30.

Didn't you get my wire?

Well, yeah, we got your wire, but it said 9 .30.

Well? Well?

Please. Mother, why did you tell us 9 .30 if they told you 12 .30?

Well, I thought everybody knew that there was three hours difference in time

between here and New York.

Oh, God, Dawson, brother. Now I've heard everything.

Don't you let him talk like that about me. Ricky, now, look, Mother's right.

There is three hours difference in time. Yeah.

Look, Mrs.

McKeeler, I would like to explain something to you.

In the first place, they meant Pacific Coast time.

And in the second place, if you wanted to allow for the time, you should have

added three hours.

You did the whole thing backwards.

You should have said arriving at 3 .30. Oh, poo.

Now, look, I'm just trying to explain to you what you should have said. I can't

hear a word you're saying.

You see, it's only quarter past three.

So, according to you, I'm not even here yet. Huh?

Now, how do you like that? I'm only trying to get it straight, and all I get

poo and hot.

Now, just a minute, Ricky. I think she's right about the time. Ethel, Ricky.

Please, don't. I'm telling you, you've got to wind it when you go. You've got

take it off when you come. You listen to me. Look, Ethel, the sun opens. It

opens in the east and it closes in the west.

There's the round derby right there, see? And right over in there is the

Hollywood Bowl.

Oh, isn't this exciting?

And, Mother, this afternoon we're going to take you all around and you will just

be amazed. Every time you walk down the street, you see movie stars walking

right along.

Really? Oh, I hope I see some of my favorites.

Have you seen Raymond Navarro or Francis X. Bushman?

Well, no, I don't.

house where Rudolph Valentino lived.

Oh, I'll never forget him in the chic.

I'm the chic of Africa.

Your love belongs to me.

Well, that's very nice, Mother.

You know, they're grooming Ricky to be another Rudolph Valentino. Ricky?

Ricky who?

Ricky me, that's all.

I'm sorry, Mother.

Oh, that's all right, Mickey.

Mother,

you haven't told us a thing about your trip.

Who'd you meet on the plane? Anyone interesting? Oh, yes, I met some lovely

people. The lady next to me was just as sweet as she could be.

Her daughter wants to get into the movies.

I told her to call you to the studio, Mickey.

Oh, you did, eh?

And the man across the way.

Uh, he owns an amusement park in Red Bluff, California. And, oh, if we ever

up there, little Ricky can ride the merry -go -round free.

Oh, well, that's nice.

And the woman behind me was, uh, oh, some kind of a newspaper woman.

Uh, she said she might like to do a story on you.

I invited her over to tea tomorrow afternoon.

Now, look, Mrs.

McGillicuddy, I... Mother, if you're going sightseeing, you better get your

on, dear. All right.

I'm the chief called Valerie.

Please, honey, why do you have to get so mad?

Oh, I'll get it.

Hello.

Oh, come right up, Mr. Pomerantz.

Yes. Who's that?

My new press agent.

Well, honey, do you have to see him now?

Yeah, honey, this is business. I got to see him now. You go take your mother

out. Okay, I'm ready.

Oh, mother, you go over and pick up the baby at the Mercer's. I'll be with you

in about five minutes.

Oh, all right, dear.

Goodbye, Mickey.

Goodbye, mother.

Call me Charlie, Dad.

Okay, Charlie.

Now then, you're looking for someone to give you a real good publicity build

-up, right?

Well, I need something, boy. I don't seem to get a thing in the motion

columnist.

Is that accent real?

What accent?

Good, good.

Let me take a look at you.

Eh, handsome, good build. Hey, you know, Ricky, with your looks and talent, I

know how we're going places.

We are?

Dad? I'm going to make you the Cuban Liberace.

Well, I don't know about that, but I'd like to see my name in a few of the

columns. Now, let's see. You're doing the lead and Don Juan in the studio

to make you the great lover type, huh? Well, I guess that's right. Yeah, well,

that's always a good angle. We'll start out by linking your name with Glamour

Girls. You'll be seen at restaurants and nightclubs, holding hands, dancing

cheek to cheek. Hold it.

I am married.

Married? Yeah.

Why'd you go and do that for?

Well, I'm sorry, but I've been happily married for 14 years.

Say, that might be an angle in itself.

Now, who'd believe it?

Well, we've got to find something for you, Rick.

Something good.

Well, Charlie, you're the publicity agent. You're supposed to dream it up.

Hey, wait a minute.

a minute. That pool gives me an idea. Can you swim?

No. Just a minute. I'm going to die off that balcony.

This is the third floor.

Oh, no, no, no. Listen, this is the bit.

Tomorrow afternoon, the Motion Picture Mothers Club is having their annual tea

here at the hotel.

Now, Hedda Hopper always covers it. She's always here.

Well? Now, look, they're having it on the terrace down by the pool. Now,

I arrange for you to sing at that tea. Yeah? And suppose one of the guests

accidentally falls into the pool and she can't swim.

Yeah? And suppose you jump in with your clothes on and save her life.

Well, you might got something there.

Might got?

It's absolutely inspired. It's the greatest. You'll be the lead item and

column the very next day.

We'll try it.

Oh, hiya, honey.

Oh, hello. Charlie's my wife. Lucy, Charlie Pomerantz. Nice to meet you. How

you do, Mr.

Pomerantz? It's very nice to meet you. I'm sorry I have to pop off like this.

Goodbye, dear. Goodbye, honey.

Now, what we need is a good -looking young girl who could use some publicity.

Uh -huh.

Yes?

You wanted a young girl that was good -looking?

Well, I'm... I'm... I want some publicity.

Oh, no.

No, no, no. You can't save your own wife. Nobody would ever believe this.

Hey, that might be a wonderful gimmick, saving your own wife. Might be just

daring enough to make it.

Oh, I don't know, Charlie. Oh, come on, Rick. Let's give it a try.

Well, I... All right.

God, what do I do?

Oh, it's easy. All you do is fall in the pool with your clothes on. Well, I

think I can... What?

But Ricky is going to be singing at the tea. He'll jump in and save you.

He will?

Well, all right.

I'd like to do that.

Besides, I told all my friends in New York I was going to make a big...

in Hollywood.

Oh, my, you look lovely, dear. Thank you, Mother.

You didn't have to get that dressed up just for my company.

What? My company dear, that nice lady I met on the plane, you know, I told you I

invited her to tea this afternoon.

Oh, Mother, I'm sorry, but Ricky and I can't be here this afternoon.

Well, well, this is a pretty kettle of fish, and I was only doing it for

Mickey's sake.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Mother, but Ricky made plans to sing at a tea down by the

pool this afternoon, and I'm going to... Well, I have to be with him. I told you

yesterday I'd invited her.

Oh, dear.

Oh, come on, honey.

We got to get downstairs.

If it isn't Mr. Ingrid.

I wish that just once your mother would get my name right.

Mother, mother, couldn't you tell the lady that we're busy and that we'll see

her another day?

I certainly could not.

What's the problem now?

Oh, well, the lady the mother met on the plane is coming to tea this afternoon

and mother's upset because we're not going to be here.

And I only invited her to meet you, Mickey.

She's in the newspaper business.

What does she do, sell them?

Now, look, Mother, we appreciate your trying to help. Really, we do, but

just nothing we can do about this today.

Oh, horse feathers.

Oh, dear.

I'm afraid we hurt her feelings.

Well, honey, I'm sorry. We can do... Nothing we can do about it. Come on,

go.

Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete.

I'm the grace of my native street. When I start to dance, every single...

The cheeky boom cheek causes the dance of Latin romance.

And Cuban feet doesn't teach you in a hurry like Castle Mary.

I come from Havana, and there's always mañana.

So señorita, please, take it easy. Do it with ease, and you'll love it when

you...

She'll be here. Now, relax.

You know, Charlie, I'm not sure I'll recognize Hedda. I've never seen her in

person. You can't mess with her. You just look for the craziest hat you ever

and Hedda will be underneath it. I've heard that about her.

Are you sure she's coming?

Oh, now, keep cool, Dad. Just trust old Charlie.

She'll be here. Maybe you better play another number, all right? Play the one

like, doll. Yes.

Hey. What? Hey, there she is. There's Hedda.

There. Go, go, go.

Go, go, go ahead. Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Oh, no, wait!

Be careful.

Yes, sir.

Thank you. Better stay away from the edge.

Yeah, I will.

I'm sorry, honey. I thought it was him. It sure looked like her hat.

Well, that's all right, but what are we going to do about him?

If I jump in, he'll save me before I hit the water.

I'll take care of him.

me, I thought you were Burt Lancaster.

Well, I've seen you someplace. You are in the movies, aren't you? No, but I'd

sure like to be. Well, a guy with your build and looks shouldn't have any

trouble. Hey, you know, you're just great for the lead in Esther Williams'

picture. I am?

Yeah. Hey, you don't have to have a picture of yourself handy, do you? Yeah,

got some right in my locker. I kind of figured you would have.

Why don't you go get me one of those pictures and I'll show it to some

I know out at Metro, huh? Hey, thanks. Yeah, pick out a good one.

Okay. Take your time.

You know, sometimes my brain amazes even me.

You sure got rid of him.

I do.

Listen, are you sure she's coming?

Now, will you please not worry about it, Rick? I said she'd be here. She'll be

here. Trust Charlie, will you? She'll be here. She'll be here.

Telephone from Mr. Ricardo.

Telephone from Mr. Ricardo. Here, Bobby.

Oh, come and take it in the lobby, sir. Hurry it up, Rick.

You know, I just can't understand it. Hedda has made this function every year

for the last ten years. I know she's going to be... Well, she'll be here,

Charlie. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

There she is. There's her hat.

That's a hat?

I know it's her favorite. I can't miss it anyway. Now, go ahead. Go ahead. Do

your stuff. But Ricky isn't here. Oh, go get him. Now, don't you worry about a

thing. Come on. But Charlie, Ricky isn't here. He'll be here in time. Now, you

just go, go, go, go, go, go, go on. Hedda!

It wasn't that after all. What? What?

It was just an old potted plant.

What?

but it turned out to be all wet.

Oh, dear.

Well, anyway, you're in time to meet my company.

She's in seeing little Ricky.

What an adorable child.

He's almost cuter than my granddaughter.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Uh, Lucy?

my good friend, Heather Hopper. How do you... Your mother's told

me so much about you two.

You know, I do wish I could stay and chat, but I was due at a party

an hour ago.

Uh, is it raining outside?

No?

And they say I wear crazy hats.

Thank you for everything, Mrs. McGillicuddy. Goodbye, Heather.

And it's nice meeting you.

Mrs. McGillicuddy was played by Catherine Carr. Charlie Pomerantz was

High Everback.

The bellboy was Bobby Jellison. The lifeguard was John Hart. And Miss Hedda

Hopper played herself.

I Love Lucy is a Desi Lou production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at the same time.

Hi. We came back to tell you something. Something that's important to all of us.

It's about the Olympic Games.

They're going to be held next year in Melbourne, Australia.

And our team must be there to win.

It's up to us. To every American who wants to see the stars and stripes

above the victor's stands.

to see that funds are available.

You see, the teams behind the iron and bamboo curtains are government

subsidized. But our team is really our team, yours and mine.

It's only going to be there if we prove that we want it there with our

contributions.

You want to know something?

The Pan American Games in Mexico City are on right now.

And because we didn't raise enough money, we couldn't send the soccer team.

Honey, not sucker, soccer.

All right, all right.

But our team isn't there.

And we can't let this happen in the Olympics.

Let's show our Olympic team how we feel about them and show the world how we

feel about our country.

Send your contributions to U .S. Olympic Fund, care of your local postmaster.

That's U .S. Olympic Fund, care of your local postmaster.

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