Original subtitles

Oh, hello.

Here are the extra towels you ordered, Mrs. McDonald.

Thank you very much.

Lucy?

Yeah? Lucy!

What? Come here.

Guess who's down by the pool.

Who? Robert Taylor.

No kidding.

Yes, sir. Maybe you can see from up here. Come over. Where is he?

There he is. Where?

See that great big green and white striped umbrella?

Yeah. Will you see those feet sticking out from under that umbrella?

Yeah. Those are Robert Taylor's feet.

Robert Taylor's feet? Yeah, and the rest of him's even better. Go get your

bathing suit on and meet me down by the pool. Okay.

Oh, oh, I can't. Ricky just called and he's not his way here from the studio

with the photographer. We're going to take some pictures.

We?

Are you going to be in them? Well, I didn't get all the details, but what

reason would they have for taking them here?

It's probably one of those fan magazine deals, you know, where they play up the

domestic angle.

Lucy and Ricky Ricardo at home. Oh, that'll be wonderful.

Yeah.

Where in the sandhill have you been? I went down to the pool

and you weren't there.

Oh, for goodness sake. Now, you could have gone into the waiting pool until

Mommy got there.

I want you to rub this oil on me so I can get a suntan. Oh, Fred, you'll never

get a suntan. Your skin's just like mine. It's too fair.

Well, it says right here if I use it, I'll be a golden brown.

You will, a golden brown blister.

Well, I'm going to give it a try. Now, let's go.

Okay. I want to get one more look at Robert Taylor.

He's gone.

Oh, darn it.

Now, let's go. We're wasting that good sun.

Oh, there's no hurry. Yes, there is.

Gee, they're here already.

Does Ricky Ricardo live here?

Uh, yes.

Yes, he does.

Well, I'm Dolores Donlan. The studio told me to come over here to have some

pictures taken with Ricky.

Oh, well, won't you come in?

Thank you.

Uh, I'm, uh, Mrs.

Ricardo. This is Mr. and Mrs. Merck. How do you do?

How do you do?

Oh, well, come on. We're wasting that good sun.

There's no hurry.

Oh, well, won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Yes? Well, the studio said to come out and have some pictures taken.

Oh, hi, Dolores. Hi, Maggie.

Did they call you for this, too?

Yeah, but I don't know much about it. Me either. The studio just said to go over

and have my picture taken with Ricky Ricardo, whoever he is.

Oh, haven't you met him?

He's a handsome Latin with an accent.

He's the end.

I'm a little confused.

What kind of pictures are they taking?

Oh, are you from the studio, too, honey?

No, I'm Mrs. End.

I mean, I'm Mrs. Ricardo.

Oh, well, how do you do?

I'm Maggie McGinnis. Oh, well, how do you do? This is Mr. and Mrs. Murph.

Hello!

It's been nice knowing you. We're going down to the pool.

What for?

I thought you said you wanted to get some sun.

With my fair skin?

Mrs. Rigley, I hope.

Hello. Yeah, yeah, come on in.

Why are there so many of them? Who cares?

wife Lucy. How do you do? Nice to meet you, Mr. Ricardo.

Oh, hello, girls. What are those?

Well, they're going to be in the Don Juan picture with me.

Oh?

Yeah, they play their four women that are in love with me in the picture.

Oh, that's very exciting.

Say, Ricky, come on over and meet the girls. Okay, excuse me. Girls, this is

Ricky Ricardo. Hello, Dolores. I made it for you. Hello, kids. Okay, kids, let's

get started. Now, Ricky, for the first shot, take this script and sit in that

chair with the girls all around you, huh? Okay. Now, we'll see how that

Okay.

Okay, kids, that's good. Now, one.

Mrs. Ricardo, if you stand there, you're going to be in the picture.

It's not that we wouldn't like to use you in some of the shots, but it just

wouldn't fit in with our publicity campaign.

Oh, well, I thought you would want to play up the domestic angle. You know how

happily married Ricky is.

We would ordinarily, you see, but Don Juan is all about love.

It's got nothing to do with marriage.

Oh.

Okay, kids, let's get this now. Ready?

One, two, and good.

Okay, now, I think we'll have some cheesecake. Everybody over to the couch.

Ricky, you go get your guitar, huh? Okay.

All right, kids, two on one side and two on the other.

There, that's going to be fine. Now, let's all cross our legs to the right,

That's good. Now, leave space in the middle for Ricky. What do you want me to

do? Right in the middle, Ricky, serenading the girls, huh?

Now, everybody look at Ricky and smile.

Now, hold it.

One, two.

This is recorded.

Well, you said everybody.

Well, I meant all the girls.

Oh.

Lucy. Well, I misunderstood him, that's all.

Okay, all right. One, two, and good.

Now, for the next shot, let's have everybody back to the couch, huh?

Okay. Well, if you don't need me, I have a few things I could be doing in the

bedroom. All right, Mrs. Ricardo, if we need you, we'll call you.

Thank you.

Stretch out on the couch looking up at the girls. And girls, I want just the

head showing.

Everybody down. That's right.

Now, just the chin sticking out, Beverly. Just your chin.

Now, there.

Let's see how that's going to look.

Now, don't move, Beverly.

Now, I want you to move over to the right.

And you three to...

doing back there?

I lost my earring.

Where? In the bedroom.

What are you doing looking out here for it?

Because the light's better out here.

Okay, kids, let's get this shot, huh?

On, tilt.

I think we'll move down to the pool.

Kids, change into your suits and a cabana.

Let me get into some trunks in a row. Okay.

All right, fine.

Oh, it's nice to have met you, Mr. Ricardo. I'll see you again sometime.

Lucy?

Yeah?

Are you watching that spectacle from up here?

Isn't it revolting?

Will you please tell me what is so exciting about taking pictures of four

starlets in bikini bathing suits?

I don't know, but I can see Fred's eyes bugged out clear up here.

I'm glad that's over.

I never realized that taking pictures was such hard work.

Oh, you poor little thing.

I'll bet your arms...

from having him around those starlets.

Honey, you know I had nothing to do with this. Don't get mad.

Mad? Me mad?

Why? Why should I be mad?

On the contrary, I'm glad.

Very glad.

Why, when those four girls walked in here today, it was the happiest day of

life. Now, Lucy. And they didn't want me to be in the pictures. I wanted to jump

for joy. Lucy.

put on those bathing suits and trooped down to the pool, I just felt as if my

fondest dreams had come true.

Now, honey... And you thought I was mad. Why, I wasn't mad. I was happy.

Happy. H -A -P -P -Y.

Happy.

Whoa. Now, look, honey, I know that you're a little upset. A little upset.

think I'm a little upset.

Now, just a minute.

Ricky, let her go. I want to see what she'll do for an encore.

I know that this is hard for you to put up with, but it's part of the publicity

campaign for the picture, and I got to go along with it. Yeah, well, I don't

to go along with it.

Yes, you do.

You are my wife, and this is part of my career right now.

Now, there'll probably be a lot more pictures like that, but I'm sure that if

you think the whole thing over calmly, you won't be childish enough to let it

bother you. Any bets?

You keep out of this.

I hear.

Here's something to make you happy.

Ross gave me some tickets to go to a big premiere tonight.

And we're going to get all dressed up and go.

We are?

Yes, sir. I'm taking the prettiest girl in Hollywood to the premiere.

Oh, honey.

Oh, I love movies with a happy ending.

Gee, Ed, well, just think, my first Hollywood premiere.

Where is it, honey? Guam's Chinese Theater?

He didn't tell me. Look in the tickets and see.

Just one ticket here.

You sure?

I'm positive.

Oh, well, then it must be good for two people. You know, one person and a

Of course, dear. That's why it says admit one.

Oh.

Well, I almost got to a Hollywood premiere.

Now, honey, there's just been a mistake.

That's all. You bet there's just been a mistake. And I made it 15 years ago.

When Marion Strong asked me to go on a blind date with a Cuban drummer and I

said yes.

Oh, hello, Ruskerman. Say, Ricky, I just realized I only give you one ticket for

tonight. See?

Oh, well.

I can't send you to a premiere all by yourself.

No, that's right. You certainly can't. Here you are. One, two, three, four.

Four? Four.

Yeah, for the four girls.

Now, Ricky, when they interview you in the lobby, mention Don Juan as many

as you can. Now, look, Ross, Ross, I wanted to take Lucy to the premiere

tonight. Now, Ricky, I know how you feel, but I've got this thing all set

There'll be plenty of other premieres she can go to later on.

You understand, don't you, Mrs. Ricardo?

Oh, sure, I understand.

Oh, you're a real dog.

Now, look, Ricky, there's a party at the Macombo after the show. You and the

four girls, okay?

Yeah. I'll see you at the story in the morning, huh? Yeah, well, yeah.

I know.

I'm your wife.

And I have to go along with it. It's part of your career. It's for publicity.

And I'm not supposed to let it bother me. I shouldn't be childish, and I

take it with a smile.

Lucy. I'm smiling.

I don't like you when you're smiling that way.

Don't crush your luck. I'm smiling.

Oh, honey, you should have waited up for me.

Come on, let's go to bed.

Come on, honey, I got an early call at the studio tomorrow.

Lucy, have I got a clean talks shirt?

Honey, I got to go to the studio and my talks and I want...

you

Thank you.

Ten o 'clock.

Give me MGM Studio, please.

Hello? Is Ricky Ricardo working there today?

Would you find him, please?

I'll hold on.

Oh, you're up. Good.

Say, Ethel wants to know if we're still going to Knott's Berry Farm today.

will be on Ricky's head.

Huh? He didn't come home all night.

Oh, you must be mistaken.

Go see for yourself. His bed hasn't been slept in.

Oh.

Well, of course it hasn't.

What do you mean?

Well, that's another reason I had for coming over. First I wanted to ask you

about going to Knott's Berry Farm and then I wanted to tell you that Ricky

the night over at our place.

He did?

Yeah.

Why? Why?

Well, he... Why?

Yes?

Oh. Oh, well, thank you.

He's on his way home from the studio.

Yeah, that's it. He got an early call from the studio and he didn't want to

disturb you.

Really? Yeah.

Well, I'll see you later. I just thought of something I have to tell Ethel.

Hi. Come on, Ethel. Let's go and eat some breakfast.

We just had breakfast. Well, let's go and have another one. I'm starving.

What's the matter with you?

Ethel.

Ethel, did anyone sleep on your couch last night?

Yeah, why?

Are you sure?

Sure, I'm sure.

Well, I'll be darned.

How'd you know I slept on the couch last night?

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh what? I sleep on the couch lots of nights. Fred snores like a buzzsaw.

Well, at least you know where your buzzsaw was last night.

What are you talking about?

Ricky didn't come home at all.

He didn't. Oh, now, let's not jump to conclusions. There must be some

Oh, you keep out of this, you, you husband, you.

Well, I'm lost. What are you talking about? Oh, Fred's trying to cover up for

Ricky by telling me that he slept on your couch last night.

Oh, honestly, Fred.

Well, I just thought that there might be a... Hi, everybody.

Hi, honey.

Oh.

Have you no shame?

Look at him. Out all night parading around at 10 o 'clock in the morning in

tuxedo.

What happened?

You'll never get out of this one. Just turn around and head back for Cuba.

I'd like to know what's going on. So would I.

Where were you last night?

Yes, where were you last night, you tad?

Yeah, I'd kind of like to know myself.

You know where I was last night.

I went to the premiere, and then I went to the party in Mocambos.

And then?

And then?

And then I came home.

Ha!

Now, look, I, I, I, you mind telling me what you're talking about? I was right

on that couch all night, and you did not come home.

You crazy something? Of course I came home.

I'll tell you exactly what happened.

I came home, it was 2 o 'clock in the morning. You were sleeping on the couch.

I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't budge.

So I figured I'd better let you sleep there. It was late, so I covered you up.

gave you a kiss.

I went in the bedroom, went to sleep.

I had an early call this morning. I got up.

You were still asleep.

So I went to work, and I finished my work. I came home. That's all there is

it. Oh, come now. You can do better than that.

She's right. You can do better than that.

I suppose you always wear your tuxedo in the studio in the morning.

Well, they wanted me to wear the tuxedo. They were taking some pictures,

supposed to be in a nightclub.

Oh, glib, isn't he?

Check with Ross Elliott.

All right, I will.

Uh -oh, wait a minute.

He dropped me here on the way to the airport. He's on his way to San

right now.

How very convenient.

Now, wait a minute. Now, this is ridiculous. I'm telling you, I was home

night.

All right.

All right, if you had to put your tuxedo on again this morning, that means that

I'll find the shirt you wore last night and the clothes hamper, right?

Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.

I had to wear the same shirt.

All the other tuxedo shirts were in the laundry.

Oh, now, isn't that too bad?

Now, look, this is ridiculous now. I'm telling you all that I was home last

night. And you slept in your bed?

Yes. Then your bed would be unmade.

Yes.

Did

you

make that bed?

No, I did not make that bed.

Has the maid been here?

No, the maid has not been here.

See, waste paper basket's full.

Ash trays haven't been emptied.

Go ahead, it's your turn.

Wait, wait, wait.

I'm waiting.

There's something.

There's got to be something.

I know, I got it. My carnation. I threw it in the waste basket in the bedroom.

happened to it?

The phantom maid strikes again.

Now, look, I'm telling you. I'm telling you that I came home last night. I came

home. It was 2 o 'clock in the morning. You were sleeping on the couch.

That's it.

You were sleeping on the couch, right?

Yes. All right.

If I wasn't home, how do I know that you were sleeping on the couch?

Yeah.

Because I just told you. I told you when you came in that I was asleep on that

couch all night.

Yeah.

Nice try, though.

Thank you, son. I thought I could finish up in here.

I mean, I thought I could do the room.

Now, look, honey. You've got to listen to me.

Finish up in here.

Maid!

Maid!

Maid!

Maid, please come here. Come here, please.

Come here, please.

Come right in here.

Now, look.

You just said you wanted to finish up in here.

Were you here before?

Oh, no.

No, I wasn't in here, sir.

It's against the rules for the maid to enter the room when the guest is in.

Oh, and please don't tell the manager I did.

I wish all the guests were as nice as this.

Well, I wish all the maids were as nice as you are. You're a very nice lady, and

I'm going to give you the biggest box of candy you ever got. I love you.

Ricky, I'm sorry I thought what I thought.

Can you forgive me?

Listen, for a minute I was beginning to wonder whether I was home last night.

Let's go until the lovebirds are at it again.

Oh, look.

Here's a program from the premiere last night.

Yeah, I brought it home last night so Lucy could see it.

How about that? What? My alibi.

The publicity man was Ross Elliott. The maid was Iva Shepard. And the starlet

were Dolores Donlan, Maggie McGinnis, Shirley Teggy, and Beverly Thompson.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.