Original subtitles

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi there.

How's the baby?

He's fine. We played for a couple of hours and then he went to sleep. Oh,

Wait till you see what I got.

Lucy. Huh?

You didn't buy more clothes.

Didn't I?

Now, look, honey. I'm only going to do one part in one picture.

And we're only going to be in Hollywood one month.

Exactly. We're going to be there a whole month.

Sounds different when you say it.

Wait till you see the wonderful bathing suit I got.

Look.

That's real cute.

You like it? Yeah.

You want to see how it looks? Now, wait just a minute, honey. Don't wake up

little Ricky just to try a bathing suit on him.

Little Ricky, this is for me.

What?

How dare you say whatever you said?

Look, no wife of mine is going to be seen wearing that thing.

All right.

I'll take it back.

Okay.

Can't afford to argue with you until we get out there.

What's all that?

Travel folders.

Trying to figure out which is the best way to go.

You know, we got to save as much money as we can on this trip.

Well, movie stars always fly.

I'm not a movie star yet.

Let's not spend the money before we make it.

I was undecided between the bus and the train.

Oh, the bus or the train. No, Ricky, we're going to fly.

Well, I don't know if... It's better for the baby. It's the quickest. He'll

sleep the whole way. Oh, that's true. Look here.

Special facilities for the baby. Family plan. Your wife and children can fly for

half fare.

Well, I guess it'll be better for the baby. Well, sure. Well, you better make

reservations, too. Good flights are hard to get on.

Okay, I'll call them.

The bus or the train? Really, Ricky?

All right, all right. I was just thinking.

Reservations, please.

I'd like to make a reservation for Los Angeles next Monday.

There's two adults and a child.

Family plan.

Yes. Ricky, you've never been across the country, have you? No.

What?

Lift it in the evening and get there the next morning.

Well, that'll be fine.

Yes, the name is Ricardo.

Just a minute, Ricky.

Listen.

Ricardo.

R -I -C... You know, it'd be a shame to cross the country and not really get a

chance to see it, don't you think?

No, no, no.

C, C.

R -I -C... You know, on the train you can see the country you're passing

through. It's Ricky's first chance to go across the United States, so don't you

think he ought to get a chance to really see it? Will you please keep quiet?

No, not you, sir, no.

Now, would you please hang on a minute?

Now, look, honey, would you please keep quiet so I can talk to the man? Yeah,

well, talk all you want to, but we're taking the train. All right.

What?

I said we're taking the train.

Would you please hang on a minute?

Look, this may be the baby's only chance to cross the United States, and I think

he should see it.

Now, we are taking the train.

Look, mister, I'm afraid that I'm going to have... Oh.

You're married, too.

Thanks, anyway.

Now, look, Lucy, why don't you make up your mind which way you want to go

you get me involved with all these people? First, it's got to be the plane.

it's got to be the train. Yeah, well, you got to admit it makes sense. Now,

here's the number. You call them. You better read the bus folder before I call

them. Oh, don't be silly. The bus.

You sure you want the train? I'm positive. All right, the train.

It's a wonderful chance for the baby to see all of the United States. I just

didn't think of it before. Okay, okay.

Reservations, please.

Look, I'd like to make a reservation in St. Louis next Monday for two adults and

a child.

Yes, sir, I'll hang on.

Uh, Ricky?

What?

Oh,

that's good.

Yeah, I'll pick them up tomorrow. How much will they be? Uh, could I speak to

you, dear? In a minute. No, now, dear.

Will you please hang on a minute?

Uh...

If I... Well, listen.

Get the most out of your cross -country trip. Don't fly over it or whoosh

through it at 80 or 90 miles an hour without stopping. On the bus, you make

frequent stops.

You can get out, see the scenery, meet the people in various parts of the

country. You and your fellow passengers are one big happy family.

One big happy family.

Isn't that nice?

Look, mister, I'll have to call you back on this.

Yes, thank you very much.

I was only thinking of the baby.

Look, Lucy, this whole thing was my fault. I... Your fault?

It was something that I said that started this whole thing.

What'd you say?

I do.

Now, look.

I'll carry you and little Ricky across country piggyback if you just make up

your mind which way you want to go.

Now, once and for all, what is it going to be? Plane, train, or bus?

Well? We'll go by car.

Good, I'll go.

By car?

Yeah. We don't even own a car. Well, we'll get one. I don't know why we

think of this before. That way we can really see the country.

Stop where we want to as long as we want to. We can see the Grand Canyon, Pikes

Peak, Yosemite, huh?

You know, you have to get a car when you get out there anyway.

You absolutely need a car in Southern California. You do, huh? Yeah, I've been

reading up on it. There's a car for every two and a half people in

Now, you and I and little Ricky, that's two and a half people.

When we get to the border without a car, they won't let us in.

Well, you know something?

I think you've got something there someplace.

We probably can get a convertible here a lot cheaper than out there. A Cadillac?

If we can get a used car, we maybe can afford it. But don't get your heart set

on a Cadillac convertible kind of a deal.

No, I won't give it another thought. Good.

like a sick cat just because you two are leaving.

Oh, honey, don't feel like that. We're only going to be gone a month.

No, you won't.

Ricky will be a big star and they'll give him a long -term contract and

get a house and stay out there.

We'll never see you again.

Oh, honey, of course you will. Even if we do stay out there, you'll come visit

us. Oh, no, we won't. It's too far.

Besides, you'll make all new friends and they'll be rich.

have any time for us. Yes, we will, honey.

Now, look, Ethel, I promise you, no matter how big a star we become, and

after we win the Oscar, you'll still be our best friend.

We'll never forget you, honey.

We'll never forget you either.

Look at those two, will you?

Two sentimental idiots.

We'll look.

Just a minute. You forget that lovely trip you took to Minnesota.

Oh, that was a lot of fun.

I went to Mayo Brothers to have my gallstones taken.

You can have all you want. You know as well as I do that we can't afford this

trip. Those tickets cost money. Oh, no.

It does seem like a cheap way to go.

California, here we come!

That's great, friend. It practically be for nothing.

We'll each pay for half of the gas.

Pay for half the gas?

New York, here we stay.

I thought as long as you're going, you'll want to pay for half of the

Well, I don't see why. You're going anyway.

Wherever the front seat goes, the back seat has to follow.

I knew it was too good to last.

The only way I'll get a trip is to stay right here in New York and hope for

another gallstone.

Gee, Ethel, I sure feel sorry for you being married to such a pinch penny.

Well,

you're not exactly married to the horn of plenty.

What do you mean by that?

Well, for once, I think Fred is right. Why should you stick us for half your

gasoline? Thank you?

Well, now I know who holds the penny while Fred pinches it.

That does it.

Yeah, we wouldn't go now if you begged us.

Don't worry.

Come on, Fred.

Yeah, get out of our back seat.

Gladly. How do you like that? We got to go anyway. We got to pay for the gas

anyhow.

gas anyhow.

And the back seat is empty.

How do you like that?

I think it's finally happened. What happened?

Well, I think that this time I'm a tighter skate than French.

My flint is skinnier than his.

What, did you buy a car?

No. Yeah, we looked at a hundred of them and drove them all around the block.

If we'd been driving in a straight line, we'd be in California by now.

Oh, what a shame. And all those ads in the paper sounded so good, too. Yeah,

they sounded good, but you should have seen them.

I've bled in and out of so many car seats, my pants are shiny.

Well, don't give up. Fred may be able to help you. Fred? Yeah, he's got a friend

who's in the used car business.

No! he tells us. He never thought about it until after you left. I'll call him.

Oh, good.

Fred!

He and this guy are real pals. They used to be in Vaudeville together, so we

ought to give you a good deal. Fred!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Listen,

Lucy and Ricky didn't find a car.

I can't hear you. My head's still ringing.

Hergesheimer, he's got a lot over in Brooklyn.

You think he'll give us a good deal? Sure, he says, since it's me, I can have

any car on the lot at wholesale price.

Hey, that sounds wonderful. Yeah, we better go see him right now. No, no, no,

better go over there alone, Ray. Why?

Well, he probably has read the paper about him becoming a movie star.

Oh, the price will go up right away. All right, you better go alone.

Now, you sure you know what we want?

A Cadillac?

at a reasonable price.

Don't worry. Just leave it to me. Okay. Now, look. Take a good look at the

tires. It's a long trip to California. Yeah, Fred. Get a pretty color, will

Yeah. And get a nice, big, roomy back seat.

Okay. Now, wish me luck. Okay. Bye.

Bye. Good transportation at a reasonable price.

Yeah. Well, sure, sure. We're just going to take our time driving out and see

the country.

Oh, isn't it wonderful? I can hardly believe it myself.

Hey, would you like me to give a message to any of the gang out there? You know,

Clark or Carrie or Van or Marlon?

Oh, all right.

Tell Bill Holden that Marion Van Black saw Sabrina five times.

Well, he'll be delighted.

Lucy, Lucy, hang up. I got something to tell you. I have to call you back, dear.

Bye -bye.

What? Fred just called me. Yeah?

is it? Well, wake up, Ricky. I want him to hear this, too. Okay, honey.

Honey. Honey. Well, no, no, no.

No, no, Mr. Sanok. No.

My price is a million dollars, Mr. Sanok.

Now, yes or no, make up your mind.

Shake him again.

Well, I kind of hate to wake him up until he's made the deal.

Ricky, Ricky, wake up. Wake up, Ricky. I got money. Tell you. Come on, come on.

What's the matter? Fred just called me. He's bought a car and he's on his way

home with it. Bought it?

Without showing it to us? Well, he couldn't get you on the phone, and he

there were two other guys waiting just to snap it up. What is it? What kind is

it? It's a Cadillac. A Cadillac? What color?

Blue. Oh, that'll be wonderful in my hair. Is it a convertible? I don't know,

but he said it was just like brand new, that the paint's in good shape, the

tires are fine, and the top works perfect. The top? That means it's a

convertible. Oh, sure. A blue Cadillac convertible. Oh, boy.

How much did it cost?

$300.

Oh, that must be the down payment or something. Oh, well, maybe so. I was so

excited, I don't really know. Well, let's go downstairs and wait for him,

I'll get my coat and meet you on the way. I wonder how much he really paid

this. Yeah, I hope the baby gets back in time to see it. Yeah. Oh, boy, a boom!

Cadillac convertible!

I wonder what's keeping him.

Gee, our first car. I can hardly wait to see it. I hope he got a good car. Is

that long?

That's good. Hey, here comes a blue car.

And it's a Cadillac. And isn't that Fred driving?

I don't think so.

Oh, it's a beauty, and it's almost brand new. Sure that's Fred?

No.

Of course it is.

It's our car, and it's Fred driving. Then how come it turned a corner?

Oh.

Oh.

Here comes a blue car.

Yeah. Well, that isn't a Cadillac, is it, Ricky?

I don't think so. I hope not. That car must be seven or eight years old.

kind of a joke.

Joke? This is a very fine car.

It is a Cadillac. It is.

Yeah, it's a Cadillac, all right.

didn't pay 300 bucks for this hunk of junk.

Now, just for your information, two other guys wanted to buy this car.

Where were they from? The Smithsonian Institute?

So it isn't brand new.

But it's better than one of those flimsy jobs off the assembly line.

They don't make them like this anymore.

but that engine is sound as a dollar. Yes, how about all his words, Lou?

I'll tell you, this car's in good shape and it rides beautifully.

Now jump in and I'll take you for a spin.

Well, what have we got to lose?

Our lives, that's why.

Come on, get in, get in. All right, go on.

Get in.

Maybe it isn't everything he said it was.

I'm sorry, Ricky. I hope I can get your money back.

My money?

Naturally, I didn't want to buy a car.

Well, I didn't tell you to buy this thing.

How about that, Ethel?

Don't come crying to me.

Anybody who's dumb enough to pay $300 for this thing deserves to lose the

Now, you go back to Brooklyn and don't you come home until you've got our money

in your pocket.

Okay.

Have you got 15 cents for the subway?

Gee,

I felt sorry for Fred. He looked so disappointed.

Yeah.

I wish there was some way that I could help him, Ethel. Oh, it serves him

Maybe it'll teach him a lesson.

You think they'll give him his money back?

Well, if they don't, maybe he can sell it to somebody.

Who?

Where are you going to find another Fred?

Well, there must be somebody that wants an old car like that.

Maybe a museum or something.

Well, maybe a television company or a moving picture outfit or something like

that might be able to... Hey!

Hey!

How about calling Fred's used car, pal, and telling him that we're a television

studio and...

and that we'll pay maybe as much as $500.

Oh, we'd buy it back from Fred in a jiffy. What's that guy's name? Uh,

Hergesheimer. I got the number. Fred gave it to me in case I had to call him.

Uh, Nevins 82098.

Lucy, I got to hand it to you.

You got a wonderful sneaky mind.

Well, thank you very much.

Hey, you better let me talk to him. Where are you supposed to be from? The

television network?

Yeah, CBS.

for a television sketch that we're doing.

Yes, we need a 1923 Cadillac touring car.

We don't have much money, but we could pay $500.

Yes, I'm with the television company.

The telephone number is Murray Hill 59099.

Yes.

Yes, will you call me right back? Thank you.

than he wanted to buy the car back.

Well, you sold it back to him. Just a minute, just a minute.

He offered me $250.

Before I could say yes or no, he said $300, $350.

He was so anxious, I got suspicious.

But you sold it back to him. Oh, just a minute. Let me tell you, will you?

When he got as high as $400, I said, that's good enough for me.

So you sold it to him. I made $100.

$400. I said to him, now look, Al, I know you. Come clean with me.

So he admitted that some television company was after the car and had

$500.

They left their telephone number with him. So that gave us $200 profit.

We decided to split.

Oh, so he gave you the $400.

Well, not exactly. I gave him another $100 and he gave me the telephone

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.