Original subtitles

Yeah. U -7 -8 - No.

No.

R? R, R, R, R, yeah.

R -1 -1 -5 - No.

O?

Uh, L?

L. Wait a minute. L, L, L, L, no.

No? Uh, V?

V, yeah, V.

V -O -9 -1 - No. Hi. Hi, honey. Hi. What are you doing?

Oh, we're checking our dollar bills with a bonus buck from the paper.

Oh, you're still not doing that.

Certainly. There's one worth $300 this weekend. I am going to win it.

Lucy, there are 8 million people in New York City and who knows how many $1

bills. What makes you think you're going to win it?

I can't miss.

All my life I've been eating oysters and never found a pearl.

Five years in a row I didn't win the Irish sweepstakes. And only yesterday at

the grocery I missed guessing the number of beans in the jar by two.

it's my turn.

Well, I didn't know all that.

I mean, you're a cinch.

And if it isn't her turn, it certainly is mine. That's right. Yeah, what's the

matter with you, Rick?

Don't you know any of this? It's a sure thing.

Let's go, huh? Okay. I didn't realize.

X, yeah.

You've made that one a seven.

Give me a pen and I will.

Do we care?

Oh, no. The paper would frown on that.

The treachery department will make a face, too.

Well, come on, Ethel. Give me the next one. That's all.

Oh. Well, another day, another no dollar.

Yeah, darn it. Oh, wait a minute. We didn't go through the boys' money.

Ethel went through mine years ago.

money in your pockets. Give me yours, Ricky.

Look, no use going through mine. I found a pearl in an oyster once.

It's not my turn to win either. I found a diamond ring in a box of Cracker Jack.

Oh, now stop.

You stop joking.

He's not joking.

Where do you think he got this?

Well, I don't care what you two do, but we're gonna win. Come on, let's go get

some more, Ethel. All right. Some more what?

You watch the baby while we're gone, will you, Frank? All right.

and change them into five at the market. And then we go to the drugstore and

change the fives into ones. We've done it six times.

How long will you be gone? Until there isn't a dollar bill left in this

neighborhood on turn.

Goodbye, dear. Goodbye.

Adios.

We are married to a couple of birds.

Yep. I think we better see that the door of their cage is locked.

Look, I gotta go to work. Excuse me while I put my tie on. All right.

Let's check them. All right. Come on. You can't tell.

That's nowhere.

No.

Nothing. No.

B7.

B7. Four.

Fred, wait a minute.

I think I got one. Oh, you can't, Fred. I think I got one.

Check it for me, will you?

Check that.

B7, 8, 4.

Hey. Read it in English. Read it in English. Wait a minute.

Look, I can't figure it out by the hour. You read it to me, will you? Hurry up.

Here, I'll read it.

B, B, 7, 7, 8, 8, 4, 4, 5, 5, 5, 6, 6, 2, 2, 9,

G, G! I got it!

300 bucks!

Oh, no!

And you were laughing at the girls!

300! 300 smackers! Oh, it's too bad she couldn't find it

herself. Oh, yeah, she... Wait a minute!

Maybe she can.

What do you mean, maybe she can?

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm going to take this dollar bill with me to the club. And when I come home

tonight, she'll be asleep, see?

So I'll sneak into the room and I'll put this in her purse.

And tomorrow morning, I'll ask her to check her money again and let her find

Oh, what a great idea. What a kick she'll get out of this. She'll die.

Listen, don't say a word to anybody, huh? Oh, no.

Don't even tell asshole.

I won't breathe a word to Miss Walkie Talkie. Okay.

I'll see you later. All right.

That's going to be great.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Honey, what are you doing up so late?

Huh? What are you doing up so late?

Baby, I was checking if you could see.

Oh, you go back to sleep, honey.

There you are.

Oh, little baby. Good night, dear.

Good night, honey.

There we go.

That's a good breakfast for a big boy.

Yes, sir.

Come on now, you've got to pay a little attention to this.

You ought to play a little bit. Laundry.

Oh, I forgot all about you. I'll get it. No, I can come back a little later. Oh,

would you? I'd appreciate it very much. Thank you. I'll have it ready for you.

Bye. Okay.

Well, honey, did he scare you? Oh, I'm sorry. Well, come on now. Finish your

breakfast.

Oh,

come in, will you?

Oh, gee, is that all for us? No, one's for the merchants.

Oh, how much do I owe you?

Uh, $3 .85.

I'll get it for you. Will you watch him a minute?

85. Gee, I hope one of these is a bonus buck.

You're jealous.

No, I'm not.

I'm happy you won. Really, I am. Oh, think of it.

What would you say if I told you that Ethel wasn't the only one?

What do you mean?

Well, I wanted you to be surprised, but... But what?

I found a bonus box last night, too. Really? Where is it?

Now, wait a minute.

See, I wanted you to find it before I did. Yeah, yeah. And so I took it with

to the club. Yeah, but where is it? Where is it? Now, wait a minute.

I took it to the club with me last night, and then I came home, and you

asleep. Yeah.

So I sneaked into the room and I opened your purse and I put it inside your

purse.

What's all the ruckus?

Wait a minute.

Give me this one at a time, will you?

The grocery boy gave me a bonus buck in change. Yeah, but it's really mine

because I gave it to the grocery boy by mistake.

Yeah, she didn't know I had put it in her purse last night. No, no.

You mean that's the bill you showed me last night? Yeah, the big one. You know,

the 300 bucks. You saw me with it, didn't you, Fred? I saw you with it. You

it. There. Now, whose dollar is it?

It's Ethel's. There, you see?

Because possession is nine points of the law.

Hey,

he's right. He's right. Fred is right. Well, I'm glad you finally saw the

I sure did. Now...

you did.

Look what I did.

Would you mind giving me the rest of my dollar?

Would you mind giving me the rest of my dollar?

Oh, well, it's mine.

The grocery boy gave it to me. All right, all right. Now, just a minute.

We each have a very good taste.

So I'll tell you what let's do.

Let's split it. We just did.

I mean the money. Let's divide it. Oh.

Now, look, it says Listen to the paper that somebody has to get down there

before three o 'clock with the buck or nobody gets no money. That's right.

That's right.

All right.

All right, Ethel. Give me your half and I'll pay some together.

No, you give me your half.

Why, Ethel Mertz, don't you trust me?

No.

What an awful thing to say.

Well, you don't trust me.

That's different. I know I can trust me.

Oh, look who knows she can trust herself. All right, all right. Now, just

minute. I'll take charge of it. Just give it to me.

Apparently, there is only one person here who everyone trusts.

Lucy.

What?

Okay, I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll each keep our half and we'll go to the newspaper office together.

I'm for that. Okay, I'll buy that.

All right.

Give it to me. Hey! For safekeeping.

And I'll take charge of this. For safekeeping.

I'll dress and take a shower and we'll all go down there together. Call Mrs.

Trumbull. All right.

as soon as possible, Mrs. Trumbull.

Thanks very much. Bye.

Mrs. Ricardo, laundry.

Oh!

Okay. Thanks a lot.

Okay, bye. See you next week. Yep.

I forgot one little item. What?

Our half of the bonus box. Oh, good.

That's all we need. I left it in the top of my pajamas.

Ricky!

Yes?

Those pajamas, were they the...

What do you mean, we're hanging?

Lucy.

Lucy.

What did you do with those pajamas?

I'd punch you in the nose. Well, now, wait a minute. It isn't my fault. It's

Ricky's fault.

Ricky? Sure, how did I know there was anything in the pocket? And that was a

pretty silly place to put it. Yeah. Yeah, that was a pretty dumb stunt.

Yeah.

And if you weren't such a young man, I'd punch you in the nose.

Now, just a minute, everybody.

It's nobody's fault. Really, it's just bad luck, that's all.

Now, we just got to go down there and get it before they wash it.

Wash it?

Well, there's no use all of us going down to the laundry.

You go to the newspaper office and show them your half of the buck.

And then tell them that I'm coming right over with the other half. Yeah. All

right? No matter what happens, get that bill.

All right. Now, we might have to spend a few dollars getting it. That's all

right. We'll pay it out of the way.

I'm Mr. Ricardo, and I would like to ask... Just a minute.

Look, I'm Mr. Ricardo, and I'd like to ask if I could get in there. We'd like

get it back, because we were supposed to... Now, please.

Just one of you.

Tell me your story on just plain English.

You.

Well, you see, I found a bonus box, and I brought it to the house last night. I

wanted to surprise my wife with it. And then he took it upstairs, and she gave

it to the manager of the apartment, who's Mrs. Merz, in the change. And then

when he came up, she said, she had found the bonus box.

Actually, it was the bonus box that I put in my wife's wallet the night

And then we had a big fight, and everybody tore it up.

She had half and we had half. And then we decided together maybe we'd go down

the newspaper office and win the $300.

Look,

you picked a fine one to tell you in plain English. Look, there's a little

of paper that's worth $300.

It's in the pocket of my husband's pajamas and I sent it to the laundry.

Is that what you were saying?

if I give you half the bill? For the last time, no.

That'll cancel our subscription.

We don't take this paper.

We'll order a subscription and then cancel it.

Expenses, you know. Yeah.

And remember you say we pay him out of the window. Sure, I remember. Okay.

Well, it was $29 for the taxi cab.

$29? Yeah, well, we told him to wait for us, you know. Oh, yeah. We couldn't

take a chance. Yeah. And then we had to give $10 to the fellow down at the

laundry for his overalls and his cab.

We had to sneak in the laundry, you know, to get back.

Yeah, that's right. And then we gave the taxi cab driver an extra $25 to get us

here in time.

An extra $25? Yes.

Well, we didn't want to take a chance of not getting here, you know. And a $50

fine for speeding.

Damage at the laundry.

Damage? Yeah, we messed the place up pretty bad. How much was that?

That's $185.

$185? Yeah.

Here, I'll count it out. Here, wait a minute.

$185 .50 for... Ken, is it going to be anything? How much have we got left?

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.