Original subtitles

Hi, Ricky.

Oh, hi, Ethel. Come in.

Uh, hi, sweetie.

Where's Lucy?

She went out shopping.

You know that this little character has already outgrown his clothes?

No kidding.

Come over here. Oh, isn't he a little doll?

Hi.

Hey, Ricky, he keeps looking at me with one eye.

I wish he'd just stay like this. Yeah.

Anything special on your mind? Yeah.

I came up to tell Lucy that the Wednesday afternoon Fine Arts League is

on Friday this week.

The Wednesday afternoon Fine Arts League is meeting on Friday?

Yeah. I thought you always met on Thursday.

Oh, no, we never met on Thursday.

We usually meet on Tuesday.

Well, look, this is probably a very stupid question, but why couldn't the

Wednesday afternoon Fine Arts League meet on Wednesday?

Oh, we tried it, but nobody could make it.

Wednesday afternoon isn't a good day for club meetings.

Yeah, it figures.

Why don't you forget about the meetings altogether?

Oh, now, Ricky, don't pick on our club. It's really a very worthwhile

organization.

Nobody ask your opinion.

He's going to grow up to be just like you.

Oh, I guess the club is all right, Ethel.

Well, do you know, if Lucy wouldn't get so involved in it, every time she gets

into it, I get into it, too. Well, there's nothing to get into this time.

We're just going to nominate officers.

Oh, no.

What do

you mean, you said it?

Don't you remember what happened on the last nominations?

Oh, that.

Yes, that.

This club is meeting here today.

Why do they have to meet here all the time?

Oh, honey, they haven't met here for three months.

We're taking turns until we can afford a clubhouse.

Honey, you don't need a clubhouse.

Why don't you meet on the back fence like other cats do?

Never mind now. This is a very important meeting, especially for me.

We're nominating candidates for the club election.

I'll probably be nominated for every office.

I've acceptance speeches written for all of them.

Oh, you feel pretty sure of yourself, huh? Well, honey, I know how the girls

feel about me, that's all.

You think you're going to be elected for some office, huh? Yeah, I'll be elected

for something, surely.

Well, maybe I'll get a break and they'll like you nothing.

Now, don't start on me about my women's club.

Okay, okay. I'll go spend the afternoon with Fred. That's a good idea. Hi,

Ricky. Hi, Ethel. Hi, Ethel. Oh, Lucy, that's a beautiful sweater. Is it new?

Yeah, you like it?

It's gorgeous.

Ooh, cashmere? Yeah, isn't that yummy? And look, a bag to match.

Isn't that the end? Of course, I won't be able to afford another thing for

months, but who cares?

Oh, dear, this terrible picture in these cheap glasses.

Say, listen, Ethel, you are going to vote to admit Ruth Knickerbocker into

club, aren't you?

I don't know.

Well, she'd be a wonderful addition to the club. You think so?

She seems sort of a quiet, mousy type to me.

Yeah, well, under that mousy exterior beats a cut glass punch bowl and 20 cut.

That's the kind of a woman we need in our club. That's the way I feel about

Well, there they are, the thundering herd.

Look at that bag to match.

Oh, what an outfit.

You know, I've been just dying for one. Well, I got it. Don't tell me. I know

how expensive they are and I just can't afford it. All right, I won't tell you.

Oh, say, listen. Before the others get here, have you heard the dirt about

Marion? Marion Strong? Yes.

What? Oh, let me tell you. You know how she's always trying to pretend she's

somebody? Oh, do I? Well, she finally got her come up and... What happened?

me tell you.

I ran into her on the street the other day, and she had on the most...

meeting will come to order.

Now, we'll skip the minutes of the last meeting and get right down to business.

Madam President. Yes, Lillian. I would like to submit the name of Ruth

Knickerbocker for membership in our club.

I think that's a wonderful idea. Very well.

You all had a chance to meet Ruth at our last meeting, so if there's no more

discussion, we'll vote.

All those in favor of asking Ruth Knickerbocker to join our club, say aye.

of our club.

And now, the election of officers.

Now, the chair will entertain nominations for the office of treasurer.

Yes, the chair recognizes Pauline Lopez.

Well, Madam President, I would like to nominate for treasurer one of our most

conscientious members.

Now, this girl really deserves an office in our club.

She's a wonderful person and a fine character and a real leader.

Grace Munson.

Grace!

A wonderful treasure.

Of course, I wouldn't be treasure if they handed it to me on a silver

Terrible job.

And now nominations are open for the office of secretary.

The chair recognizes Marion Strong.

I nominate a member who, well, she's just about the most wonderful

person. She's the loyalist person in the club.

And she's always ready to lend a hand when you ask her to.

She's intelligent.

pretty, and one of the nicest persons you could ever meet, my very dear, dear

friend, Lillian Appleby.

Lillian!

Are there any more nominations?

Oh, Lillian, you'll make a wonderful secretary.

A secretary's really a very thankless job, you know.

Now let me hear nominations for the office of vice president.

Madam President. Chair recognizes Lillian Appleby. For the office of vice

president, I would like to nominate a girl who really deserves the job.

A girl who will fight for our club. You can tell that from the color of her

hair.

My very dearest, dearest friend, Mary...

Nice president. Nearly a figurehead, you know.

They work in name only.

And now we come to the most important office of all. The presidency.

As far as I'm concerned, there's only one person who should follow me in the

office of president.

She has administrative ability.

She's charming.

Makes a good appearance.

In fact, she'll be a wonderful president.

And I'm so sure that you're all going to elect her unanimously.

that I want to be the first to shake the hand of our next president.

Ethel Merckx.

I'm sure there will be

no more nominations for president. So I hereby declare the nominate... Madam

President. Yes, the chair recognizes Mrs. Ricardo. I think that there should

some more nominations for presidency.

Why, Lucy.

Oh, it isn't that I don't feel that you make a wonderful president, Ethel. It's

just that I feel that the more democratic way is to have more than one

It doesn't matter who it is, just so there are two. You understand?

Well, yeah.

Well, do I hear another nomination for president?

no more nominations for president. I hereby declare the nomination... Madam

President. Yes, Lucy.

I'd like time out for a caucus.

A what?

A caucus.

Didn't you watch the conventions on television?

Oh.

Well,

very well. All right.

Caucus.

Come on, Lillian. Let's caucus.

Television has changed the thinking of the entire world. She wouldn't have had

sense enough to caulk us this time.

Yes, Lydia.

I would like to nominate Lucy Ricardo for president.

Oh!

Oh, well, I... Well,

you see, I feel that if there are two, it's the more American way of doing it.

It's democratic.

campaign coming, Lucy, dear?

Just fine, Ethel, honey. Just fine, sweetie.

That's good.

You know, running for the same office might bother some good friends, but it

doesn't bother me a bit. Well, it doesn't bother me either. I just feel

in the family.

Sure, all in the family. That's the way I feel.

Hey, you should see the cute campaign poster that Lucy made.

Oh, honey, don't bother to show them that.

Oh,

don't be silly.

Look.

Happy you will be with Lucy. Cast your vote and wait till you see.

Oh, right.

That's pretty good. Yeah, they're sort of fun to make, you know.

Ethel wrote some good ones, too.

Uh, Fred.

Oh? What were they?

Well, one of them said, uh, you can go farther with Ethel.

Oh!

Oh, that's just darling.

Thank you. That's like a gasoline ad.

Yeah. And here's another one.

Never mind, Ricky. Never mind. That's enough. Oh, this is a beaut.

Nerds to nerds.

It's a joke, dear.

Oh, a joke.

It's very amusing.

Oh, boy, and you were worried about that one you wrote about her.

Now, Fred.

Oh, Fred. What was it?

A vote for the redhead is a vote for a deadhead.

Now, there she put underneath... Never mind, never mind. Come on, let's play

cards. Wait a minute, just a minute.

Fred, what was it that was underneath?

Well, underneath Deadhead, she wrote, or should I say, Diedhead.

Well, that's a fine thing to say.

Well, Nertz to Mertz isn't exactly a bouquet of roses.

Now, wait a minute. Hold it, candidate.

Wait a minute, girl.

Nobody... losing her temper. It's just good to know what I'm running against,

that's all. Well, the same goes for me.

I might have known you'd resort to mudslinging. And I might have known you

conduct a smear campaign.

Smear campaign?

Give me that thing. I'll show you what a real smear campaign is. This isn't

nearly strong enough.

Well, if that's the way you want to play, I've got some ideas of my own.

on, Fred.

Well, that's...

not to do.

You mean with our club's welfare do not tinker, Lucy Ricardo's the dirty one?

That's the way!

It was nice talking with you, Marion.

No, no, no. I didn't call for anything special.

By the way, who do you think is going to be our next club president?

Lucy or Ethel?

Oh.

Oh!

Oh!

Well, if that's the way it is and that's the way it's got to be, a divorce will

be the best thing for us.

Wednesday afternoon fine arts club.

Uh -oh, who'd you say you want to vote for?

Oh, good choice, good choice.

Bye.

She's voting for Ethel.

Ethel? What was all that good choice, good choice for?

Well, that was to throw her off the fence so she wouldn't know what we were

doing.

Fine thing.

Ethel and I are tied.

Half the club's voting for Ethel, half the club's voting for me.

Oh. Well, we haven't heard from Ruth Knickerbocker yet. She wasn't home.

Oh, dear. How do you like that? She's only been in the club a week, and she's

going to decide who the next president is.

I think I'm going to have to put a little friendly pressure on Ruth

Knickerbocker this week.

Well, Lucy, dear, I really must be going now.

Well, it was certainly nice of you to come over this afternoon, Lillian.

You know, Lucy, I'm a little ashamed of what I've done for you this afternoon.

You know I really shouldn't have. Well, I certainly appreciate it. You know

that, Lillian. I sure do, dear. Thanks very much.

Well, Lucy, really, I do have to go now.

Yes?

Hiya, Brad.

Want to join me?

No, thanks. That's the same thing I had for dinner.

Where's Lucy?

Oh, I don't know. Ever since this co -op election started, she's never home.

She's out campaigning.

Yeah, Ethel, too. She's rushing that new member right off her feet.

You mean Ruth Knickerbocker?

Yeah.

Hers is the deciding vote, you know.

Ethel's had her to tea and then to dinner and a couple of movies.

That's funny.

Lucy had her out to lunch twice, and last night she took her to dinner and to

the theater.

That kid's being pulled apart like the last girdle at a bargain sale.

Well, I hope she votes for Ethel. Well, I don't. Just think how involved my life

will be if Ethel is president of that club.

Listen, you just think how involved my life is with Lucy just being Lucy.

Yeah, you got a point there.

Boy, she's not going to be elected president of that club if I can help it.

Well, there's nothing much we can do about it.

Except pray.

Well, I don't know. There must be something that we can do.

If there was only some way that I could sway the Knickerbocker vote, then I

could... Hey, Fred.

Goodbye, Fred.

Adios. Yes, so long, Fred. So long. Goodbye.

Knickerbocker. Knickerbocker.

Knickerbocker.

Knickerbocker.

Hello, information.

I'd like to have Ruth Knickerbocker's phone number, please.

Knickerbocker.

Listen, if I knew how to spell it, I wouldn't have to call information.

Knickerbocker, I don't know.

N -I -K -E -R -B -O -K -E -R.

Yeah.

There's nobody by that name?

Look again, will you?

Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's it.

With a K?

Well, give me the number.

Thank you.

With a K?

Do I have to put a K in front?

Oh, hello, Mr.

Knickerbocker.

This is Ricky Ricardo.

Lucy's husband, you know.

Yeah, well, you know, I have a club, you know, the Tropicana. I sing down there.

I have the band down there and everything.

So I just thought that maybe you'd like to come down tonight and have some

dinner and see the show.

Oh.

Oh, you're busy tonight.

Oh, I see.

You have a date with Freddie Mertz?

Oh, all right.

Well, goodbye.

Didn't know he could run that fast.

My horse and carriage is for hire, senora

For yes, as long as you desire

Señorita,

you want to ride?

Forget the mañana and come to Havana with me.

I'm the Cuban cabbie.

I'm the Cuban cabbie.

The taxi drivers drive you frantic, you know.

Oh, but my rig is more romantic and so.

You want to ride An eye full of splendor And you can depend

upon me I'm the Cuban cabin And I need

dinero Money that is broken The moon is peeping The

shadow's creeping It's time for riding through the park Hello

The same as you two are.

If you like music, I'll give you music.

As we go riding in the dark, I'll sing a Spanish love

song to the strings of my guitar.

Cielito lindo que a mí me toca.

Canta y no llores porque cantando se alegran

cielito lindo los corazones.

Porque cantando se alegran cielito lindo los corazones.

¡Ole!

My horse and carriage has been hired, señora.

For just as long as you desire, señorita.

We're going to rise.

We're going to rise.

We're going to rise.

Just a minute, Ricky.

Fred, please, we're talking. Please, don't bother us.

Hi, Fred.

Hi.

Celebrate? Yeah, the club elections were tonight.

Yeah, and we both won. It was a tie. We are co -presidents.

How can it be a tie? How about Ruth Knickerbocker's vote? Oh, she wasn't

She's homesick in bed from all the rich food that Ethel and I fed her all week.

What do you mean she's homesick in bed? She's sitting right here.

Oh, hello, Mrs.

Knickerbocker. Oh, that isn't Ruth. Knickerbocker. She isn't. No.

You're not?

No.

That's Ruth's mother -in -law.

Why didn't you tell us?

I didn't want to spoil the fun.

I Love Lucy is a Bessie Lou production.

This is the CBS television network.