Original subtitles

Hi, honey. Hi.

Hey, why are you going up so late?

Oh, I'm just looking at the pictures in the family album. See, they're

wonderful. How do you happen to start looking at those?

Well, I guess I was wondering what our baby might look like. Look, this is me,

eight months old.

What are you laughing at? Look at this.

all your fancy pants?

Everything's in half -mask.

Oh, now, of course, at two, I was very sophisticated.

Get that hair ribbon. I think it's cute.

Oh, no!

Well, that was just about the time I joined the Navy.

our baby looks the way you did. Oh, you're sweet.

Hey, who's that character?

Oh, that's my great -grandfather. He was an artist.

He better be in that outfit.

Well, no cracks now. He was very good.

Gee, Ricky, isn't it wonderful?

All the musical and artistic talent that our baby will be surrounded with. Yeah.

Oh, dear.

Surround him with music and art.

If he wants to be a musician, you can teach him. If he wants to be an artist,

hey, who are we going to get him to teach him about art?

Well, honey, I won't worry about it. It'll take care of itself somehow.

Well, now, it's not that easy.

Our child's artistic and cultural future is at stake.

Well, there's just one thing for me to do.

I know I shouldn't ask this, but what is it?

Now, Lucy, don't be ridiculous.

I'm not being ridiculous. I undoubtedly inherited a world of talent from my

great -grandfather.

Well?

Where is it?

It's been sleeping for three generations.

Look,

will you do me a favor? Pull down the blinds and let it sleep.

Oh, now, I'm not doing this for me, Ricky. I'm doing it for the future of

child.

Well, I guess it won't hurt anything if you dabble in some watercolors for a

while. But don't get too involved. You haven't got much time before the baby

gets here.

Hey, you're right.

I have to become a fine...

Thank you.

How do you do?

Oh, how do you do? May I help you? Yes, I'd like some art supplies, please.

Which of the media do you employ?

I beg your pardon?

We have a complete stock of all the media.

Media?

What do you like to work in?

Oh!

Just an old smock.

Oh, I see.

Well, tell me, what do you like to use? We have equipment for any kind of

artwork.

Watercolors, oils, pastel, finger painting.

Oh, finger painting. That sounds good. I won't have to buy anything. I already

have fingers.

Are these the kind you need?

Stop. Just a minute.

Do it again.

Do what?

Hold up your hand just the way you did it before.

Those hands.

What expression.

What symmetry.

Those long, expressive fingers.

Oh, those are the hands of a sculptor.

They are?

They certainly are.

Oh, you must be very talented.

Well, I don't know. I've never sculpted it before.

Well, I just couldn't be wrong.

No? No.

Here.

Create something for me.

Oh, I couldn't. I don't know how.

Try. Your talent will tell you how.

Oh, go ahead. Don't be inhibited. Dig right in with both hands.

Was Michelangelo wrong?

I don't know.

Just a moment ago, this was a shapeless mass of clay.

And look at it now. Just look at it.

Such form, such rhythm, such movement.

Oh, it's just something I squeezed together.

Yes, yes, but it's the way you squeezed it. The world is waiting for a squeezer

like yours.

don't take my word for it. You certainly heard of our owner, Mr. William Abbott,

the famous art connoisseur.

Oh, uh, oh, yeah.

Uh,

Mr. Abbott, Mr. Abbott, I won't say a word. You do all the talking.

Okay. Mr. Abbott, this is Mrs., uh... Ricardo. Ricardo. How do you do? How do

you do? Uh, Mr. Abbott, I was wondering if... This figure.

This... This, this, this, this masterpiece.

Where did you get it? Did it just come in? Well, that's what I wanted to talk

you about, Mr. Abbott, you see. Oh, I'm sorry, madam.

This is not for sale.

I'm putting this in my own collection.

Oh, well, you don't understand, Mr. Abbott. No, no, you don't understand,

Abbott. Mrs. Ricardo just made it before my own eyes. With her own...

She's considering taking up sculpturing. Oh, you must.

You owe it to cultural society.

The world is calling.

Me?

Well, then I better answer.

How much clay will I need to start? Ten pounds?

Make it 25.

Make it 50.

50? You have a big talent.

Well,

you just send anything that I need to this address.

And, uh, yeah, thank you.

I feel a great discovery has been made here today.

I will personally handle your first exhibit.

Put that in my private collection.

Now, what are you doing and what is that crazy getup you got on?

This is an artist's smock and a tan.

A smock and a tan?

Sure, it's what all us sculptors wear.

All us what?

Never mind. Now, don't bother me. I'm busy. I'm sculpting. How do you get me

stopping all this mud pie stuff?

Well, I tried it at the art store this morning, and both the salesman and the

owner said that I had exceptional talent.

There.

How do you like it?

You made that, huh?

Yeah.

All by yourself?

Yeah. Do you like it?

Like it? Why, honey, it's... I mean, I've never seen anything quite like

It's the most of... And you made that all by yourself?

Oh, I bet you don't even know what it is.

Oh, honey, now, how can you say that? Anyone can tell what it is.

Well, what is it?

Let me look at it from the back, eh?

the back of it, all right.

Oh, now, Ricky, come on. Tell me what it is.

A boy and his dog?

No.

A girl and her dog?

No, and I don't think you're being very funny. Okay, I give up. What is it?

It's a child at its mother's knee.

Look at the cute expression on the child's face.

Coochie, coochie, coochie, coochie. That's the knee.

Yes.

Hi,

Ricky. Hi, Ethel.

Hi, Lucy. How you doing?

Hi, Ethel. I'm glad you're here. At least you have taste and appreciation

art. I do?

Well, you certainly have more taste than some people I know around here.

Now, go ahead. Tell Ricky what this is.

Well, go ahead. Tell him what it is. It's as plain as the nose on your face.

Oh, yeah.

Well, is it the nose on somebody's face?

No, it isn't.

No, Ethel.

It's a mother with her nose in her knee.

Two of you think you're so smart. I think this is pretty good considering I

it from imagination. I didn't have a model, you know.

Well, maybe a model would help. Of course a model would help. All great

have models.

Wish I knew someplace where I could get... Goodbye. I gotta go, Lucy. I hear

Fred calling.

You come right back here. You do not hear Fred calling you. Yes, I do.

I'll be right there, Fred.

I'm very disappointed you won't model for me because you have such classic

beauty.

What'd you say I had?

Classic beauty.

I do?

Sure.

Look at that head. That profile.

It's like the head on a Greek coin.

You really think so, Lucy?

Yeah. I always thought my head was kind of... Oh, no, you don't. I'm not going

to model for you.

tell you about Jane Sebastian?

Ethel, will you please hold your head still?

Well, her baby was due last week and it didn't arrive and it didn't arrive. And

when they finally rushed her to the hospital, what does she do but have

Where's my face?

Right there.

What's this supposed to be?

That's your ear.

What's it doing over my mouth?

Why do you move so much? I couldn't tell where it was.

What's this?

That's your nose.

On top of my head?

Well, I know it isn't where it's supposed to be, but isn't it a nice

It's lovely.

You know, Ethel, I think that I should do a full -length figure of you in

action. Okay, you can do a statue. you of me running down the back stairs.

Goodbye. Oh, Ethelbert, you come back here.

Oh, darn it.

Hi,

Lucy. Hi.

I thought I'd find Ethel up here.

Well, she was, but she had to leave for a minute.

to before, but you have real classic features.

You do?

Yeah.

Your head is like the head on a Greek cone.

see it. I think it's coming along very nicely.

Well, straighten up, Fred. Take a rest for a while.

I'd be glad to straighten up except for one thing.

What? I can't.

Oh, it's easy, Rick. Easy now.

What's the matter?

You better wait. I better go down and have Ethel put some lead in my...

As long as I'm in this position, I think I'll go bowling.

Oh,

no.

Lucy, look what you did to poor Hercules Merch.

I wonder if Michelangelo had this trouble with his models.

Pose like a professional model.

Hey, that's what I need.

What? A professional model.

Now, wait a minute.

They cost a lot of money.

Eight or ten dollars an hour.

Don't you want your child surrounded by art and culture?

Not a ten bucks a throw, I don't.

Well, if you're going to be crass.

I am not being crass.

What does that mean?

It means you care more for money than you do our child.

I do not, honey.

We just haven't got that kind of money to spend.

Oh.

Look, honey, we've already spent a fortune on the baby.

Nursery things, furniture, layette.

As it is, I'm going to have to pay for them on time.

It's not that bad.

It is, too.

If they deliver the baby COD, I'm going to have to send him back.

that this money will be no object.

Really? Well, you just asked Mr. William Abbott. He's the owner of the art

store, and he's a famous connoisseur, and he said I was brilliant.

He also wanted to sell you some clay.

Oh, you have such a sneaky, suspicious mind.

All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll make a deal with you.

I'll get one of the art critics from one of the papers to come up to the house

and look at your work.

If he says that you have any kind of talent, you can have anything you want.

If he says no, that you don't have any talent, then you forget this whole

business. It's a deal. Okay.

Good morning, Lucy.

Hi. I came up to get some more liniment for Fred's arm.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I gave you all we had. How is his arm?

Isn't it any better? It's pretty good. We got it down to here now.

I have a model, someone who appreciates my work and will pose for me as long as

I want.

Who? Me.

You? Yes, I'm going to make a bust of myself.

I thought you'd already done that.

Ricky's bringing home an art critic to look at my work. And I think that if I

make a perfect replica of my head, it will really impress him. Well, I hope

head turns out better than Fred's arm.

copy. You mean you're going to make a mold of your... Yeah, I'm going to make

impression of my head and face. I'm going to put clay in it, take the mold

and I'll have a perfect replica of my head.

Hey, Lucy, that's a wonderful idea.

Yeah, and it's so easy, too. I got the plaster all mixed. Now, listen.

Cover the object to be copied with plaster of Paris and let it remain this

until the plaster hardens. Then crack...

you won't be able to breathe.

Oh.

I never thought of that.

What am I going to do?

Has to be a perfect likeness to get by that art critic.

Maybe the book tells some other way to do it. Let's see.

Mr. Harvey, the art critic of the times. Mrs. Smurfs, Mr. Harvey. How do you do?

How do you do?

Where's Lucy? Oh, she had to go down to the store.

Well, that's funny. She knew I was bringing Mr. Harvey home. Oh, she'll be

back.

Would you like me to show you her work?

Oh, no. I think we'd better wait till Lucy gets here.

Oh, if you don't mind, Mr. Ricardo, I always prefer to look at these amateur

attempts without the artist being present.

Oh, all right.

What did she sculpt this time?

She made a head of herself.

She did, huh?

Oh, you should have seen her. She put up seven mirrors all around so she'd cover

every angle. Oh, no.

Oh, this is really pretty good.

Are you ready?

Oh, I can hardly wait.

All right.

like her.

I told you it was good.

This is excellent, Ricardo, excellent.

It is, huh?

Oh, my boy, believe me, if this is a sample of your wife's first attempt at

sculpturing, you're married to a genius.

Well, what do you know?

Oh, Lucy will be so happy when she hears this. Oh, this is fine, fine.

Say, look, do me a favor.

Sure, what?

It's always a tremendous thrill for me to be in at the launching of a great

artistic career.

Let me buy this.

for your private collection. I don't think Lucy'd want to sell it.

Well, what are you talking about? I would think she'd be delighted to sell

Oh, you don't know how hard she worked on this.

She put a lot of herself into this statue.

Well, I guess you're right. I guess you'll have to be up to Lucy.

Well, I don't have time to wait. I'm due at an art critic's meeting.

Let me know if you'll sell it, will you? All right. Thank you for coming on, Mr.

Harry. Oh, Mr.

Ricardo.

I'd love to have this at that meeting with me. Won't you let me buy it?

Well, uh... No, I'm afraid I couldn't take the responsibility.

I'll pay $500.

Oh, no! I'll take the responsibility.

Mr. Harvey, you mustn't do that. This statue isn't worth $500.

I believe... I know what a statue is worth, Mrs. Marsh. I'll write you a

Thank you.

Uh... Uh... Um...

Mr. Harvey, don't you think you ought to take

another look at this? It really isn't worth that much money. It isn't quite

right. Now, look at that mouth.

You know the side of it should be up higher, like that.

Mrs. Mertz.

You know, the whole thing's too long. Don't you think it ought to be sort of

like that?

Well, now, look what you done. You ruined it. Oh, no, she hasn't ruined it.

I haven't. No.

Do you know something? That when Mrs. Ricardo is a famous sculpturist, this

be a collector's item. Here.

Oh, wait. I'll deliver it any place you want me to.

I wouldn't trust this to any...

The clerk was played by Leon Belasco. The store owner was Shep Menken and the

art critic, Paul Harvey.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

This is the CBS television network.