Original subtitles

Hi, Rick.

Oh, hiya, Fred.

Bethel up here?

No. She went out with Lucy.

They went to the home show.

Oh, no.

Why do they have to go and look at those model homes stuffed with all that fancy

furniture? It'll only make them unhappy.

I know.

Last year, Lucy went to the home show. When she got home, she said all of our

old furniture gave her the hives. It was two weeks before Ethel could walk into

our living room without bursting into tears.

I told Lucy that she couldn't redecorate. She cried all night.

Well, let's face it. We're in for another session with the Sabzi twins.

I don't know, Fred. I got a surprise that might take the minds off of it.

I managed to get four seats for the new Royals and Hammerstein show tomorrow

night. Whoa, boy, four of them. Hi, honey.

It's even worse than I remembered.

Hey, honey, I got a wonderful surprise for you. Sit down, will you?

Sit down?

On that?

How could anyone possibly... Possibly sit on that.

Well, honey, it's easy.

You stand up here like this, and you bend your knees, and there you are.

You know what I meant. That couch is so, so... Comfortable?

No, no, it's so dirty, and the springs are lumpy, and it's so, it's repulsive.

And that desk, and that tired old lamp, and that chair.

Never mind, never mind. It all stays as is.

But our furniture looks crummy.

It looks crummy because it is crummy.

But it's all paid for, so forget it.

Yeah, and that goes for our stuff, too.

Ricky, you don't really expect me to live inside. Now, look, I've got to

one more.

Every year, you go to the hotel, you come home... Wait a minute, wait a

Ethel, what are we going through this for?

We're going to get our furniture.

Look out for a trick. It's no trick. The home show is having a big drawing, and

the winners are each getting five rooms of beautiful furniture absolutely free.

Yes. Oh.

And you two put your names down?

That's right.

Oh. Well, Fred, help me get this junk out of the way before the new furniture

arrives.

Excuse me. Go ahead. Make fun. You're going to feel pretty silly when we win.

Now, look, honey.

Sit down, will you?

Force yourself.

Now, look, listen to me, will you?

Do you know how many people put their names down on a thing like that? Yes, I

do. Do you know that your chances are one in a million?

A lot you know.

We each made out a hundred cards. Our chances are one in ten thousand.

that we won.

All right, all right. Now, in the meantime, I got some real good news for

What? Well, I managed to get four seats for the open and open new musical

tomorrow night. Not the Rodgers and Hammerstein show. Right. Oh, wonderful.

Wonderful. Uh -oh.

What's the matter, Lucy?

We can't go out tomorrow night.

Why not? Why can't you go out? They might call us from the home show.

So what? They'll call you back.

get seats for an opening night, and this is Rogerson Hammerstein.

I'm sorry, dear. It's out of the question.

I'm not leaving this house until the home show drawing is over, and that's

final.

Hey, Fred.

Gee, I'm glad you stopped by. I wanted to see you. Hi, Rick. What are you doing

around here this early in the morning?

Well, I had a bunch of business calls to make, and Lucy won't let me use the

phone. Yeah, I know what you mean.

We may as well forget about that opening night.

how to get Lucy and Ethel out of the house tonight. How?

Make them think that one of them won the prize.

What?

Well, look, we know that they haven't got a chance anyway, so all we have to

is one of us has to get to the phone, call Lucy, and tell her that she won the

prize. And then make sure that you hang up before she recognizes your voice.

Wait a minute. Why should I be the one to call?

Well, Fred, I'd be glad to do it. I'd love to do it, but... She'll recognize

accent in a minute.

You're going to use an accent?

Never mind. Will you call her?

Well, okay, okay.

Well, go ahead. There's the phone.

Well, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I've got to get up my nerve.

Oh, Hazel, give me a double chocolate malted.

But every time anybody moves out of an apartment, Fred swipes the extension

cord.

Gee, my phone hasn't rung all morning.

I wonder if there's anything wrong with it.

Oh, darn these party lines. There's always somebody using it. Well, tell

get off. Oh, you know how much good that would do me. I've had run -ins with

these characters before.

Well, it's about time.

calling me right now. Oh, dear.

Hey, I got an idea. This worked once before.

What? Now be quiet.

I'm going to be a nervous wreck.

So am I. All this suspense is making me hungry.

Well, come on. Let's go in the kitchen and make a sandwich. We can hear the

phone from there.

Help me set it up. Okay.

You ready?

Mm -hmm.

Oh, boy, well, I'd be glad to get rid of this junk.

Oh, there he is. Hide that glue.

Miss Ricardo?

Yes? I'm Dan Jenkins, second -hand furniture manager.

Come right in.

Is this the junk you want to sell?

Junk?

up here when nobody sat down.

You see, I wouldn't dream of selling except that someone's giving us

some new furniture.

Well, a bedroom furniture, too? Yes, in there.

I don't think he likes it, do you?

He just wants us to think that. You watch. When he comes out, he's going to

me a very low offer, and I'll just get him to go higher and higher. You watch.

Mrs. Conner? Yes?

Well, I'll take your furniture.

You will?

Yeah, and I'll give you... Well, I shouldn't go this high, but I took an

immediate liking to you.

So I'll give you a hundred dollars.

A hundred dollars?

Well, you better look again, Mr. Jenkins.

All right, make it 90.

My truck in the neighborhood this afternoon. Can I pick up the furniture

Oh, well, could you check back? I'd kind of like to have the new furniture here

before you take this.

All right.

Now, you ladies sure made a sharp deal.

Getting 75 bucks out of me for all this broken down stuff.

Well,

I'll just have to make it up with the next customer.

Afternoon, lady.

Bye.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Well, it really doesn't matter as long as I'm getting a new furniture for

nothing. Oh.

Gee, you know, it's a shame to put all that new...

Paper hangers are awful expensive.

Who needs...

Okay.

There, that's about it now, I think. All right. Put it down here a minute.

Let's see now.

It's about...

pretty too.

Okay.

call back in the morning, huh? Uh, okay.

I'll sure be glad to get rid of this old junk.

Bye. Bye.

Hi, honey.

Oh, darn.

I'd hoped that you wouldn't get home until later.

What's going on?

Well, I kind of wanted to surprise you, but...

I sold him all of our...

you, please? I want to talk to you a minute. Here, sit down, won't you? This

a nice chair. Here, sit down, Mr. Jenkins.

Sit down here a minute. Listen, Mr. Jenkins.

Listen,

there's been a terrible mistake.

It's all my stupidity, you see.

My wife didn't win the prize at all, and you see, I thought, I want to get the

furniture back.

Oh, fine. That's okay by me.

Thank you. Give me the $75, will you, honey?

What's the matter, honey?

I spent the money for...

I'll give you the $75. Say, just a minute, Mr. Ricardo.

I'll be glad to sell you this stuff, but certainly you don't expect to get three

rooms full of beautiful furniture like this for a measly $75.

But that's what you paid for it.

That's true, but I'm in the business.

That isn't just a purchase price. I've got to add my overhead, electricity,

rent, insurance, storage charges, advertising. You haven't moved a stick

furniture out of this apartment.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Lucy, did you sign a...

Mr. Jerkins, you paid $75 for the furniture.

Now, how much of all this other stuff that you mentioned, what does the ad up

to?

Now, remember, you haven't moved anything out of the apartment.

Oh, I'm allowing for that.

You better take another look at the furniture. We've had it an awful long

It paints all off, and it's real ugly, and it's old.

I realize how much these valuable antiques mean to you, madam.

Antiques? Lucy, please, you said enough.

What?

I shouldn't really do this.

I'm taking off every penny I can.

I'll let you have it all for only $500.

$500?

That's ridiculous.

I won't buy it back.

I'll get the fellas in the van. Now, wait a minute. Don't hurry up so fast.

back here a minute, will you?

Now, let's compromise, maybe.

How about $395?

Well...

I'm a lousy businessman, but I like the way you sing Babaloo, so I'll take it.

Thank you.

Ah,

you two are certainly making a sharp deal.

your next customer, I know.

Bye.

Adios.

Now, Ricky, it wasn't my fault.

I know, I know.

It's all my fault.

It is?

Yeah. Come on, I'll help you carry the stuff into the bedroom.

In the bedroom?

Yeah. Well, we really haven't finished papering in there yet, and I... What,

what, what? What did you say?

I said we haven't finished papering... bring in there yet? Who is we?

We is Ethel and Lucy Paperhanger.

This, this I got to see. No, Ricky.

I won't get mad.

You promise?

I promise you I won't get mad. Promise?

Yeah, just let me see it.

You and Ethel pay for the room? Uh -huh. Just the two of you, huh?