Original subtitles

Lucy, oh, Lucy, this has been the most momentous club meeting.

Just two.

Bye -bye.

Hi. Oh, is the club meeting over?

Yeah, they just left. Oh, darn it. I thought I'd get home on time. What

happened? The roof fell in on me.

What do you mean? Oh, Ethel, it's just terrible.

The club voted to use the money in the treasury to put on an operetta on the

25th, and I'm supposed to be in charge.

For what?

Well, there isn't enough money in the treasury.

Well, you're the treasurer of the club. You ought to know how much is there. The

books say $246.

Well?

Well, about a year and a half ago, Ricky wanted to go over my household account,

and I was $10 short.

So? Well, I borrowed $10 from the club treasury so that my household account

would balance.

Well, $10. My goodness.

Well, you don't understand, Ethel.

That was only the beginning.

From then on, I borrowed from the household account so that the treasury

would balance, then I borrowed from the treasury so the household account would

balance, and on and on and back and forth like a tennis game, and somewhere

along the line, I lost the ball.

What do you mean?

Now there's no money in either account.

Oh, my goodness, you are in a spot. What are you going to do? Well, I was going

to pay back the treasury with my household money, but Ricky doesn't give

me until the first of the month.

And you need the money on the 25th.

Gee, I'm worried. You know how fat I look in stripes.

Why don't you ask Ricky to advance you the money? Oh, I thought of that. I

look good in black and blue either.

Better start thinking.

Well, I've got one last desperate idea.

What is it?

Well, we could save the royalty fee. That's $100 if we write the operetta

ourselves. Wait a minute.

We could save the royalty fee. Who is we?

We is Ethel Romberg and Lucy...

That's who we is.

Oh, no, you don't. Just forget all about me.

Oh, all right. I'll just have to get someone else to sing the lead.

The lead?

Yeah, it's all right, though. I can find someone else.

Oh, the lead, huh?

Who could possibly do it but you?

Now, the next thing we have to do is get someone to sing the male lead for

nothing. Who?

Who else but John Charles Ricardo.

to talk to you about that, Ethel.

Now, Lucy.

Well, you said nobody could possibly sing the lead but me.

But now, look, if Ricky's going to do the male lead, it's only logical that I

sing the female lead. Oh. Besides, I have a much better part for you. What?

Camille.

Camille?

Yeah, Camille. The snaggletooth old queen of the gypsies.

Oh, no.

Now, Lucy.

Ethel, give me one good reason why you should do the female lead instead of me.

You can't carry a tune.

All right.

of the inn. His inn is on the river out.

And then you come on and you sing a song about nobody being in love with you.

Then the queen of the gypsies comes on.

That's me, I guess.

And predicts that you're going to fall in love with the prince and be married.

But it'll come to a terrible tragedy.

Then Ricky comes in. He's the prince and he takes one look at you and falls

madly in love with you.

That'll take a little acting.

Never mind.

Well, anyway, they have the wedding and then, like the gypsy predicted, tragedy

strikes.

take you to their cave in the forest. Now, the reason the highwayman kidnapped

the peasant girl is that the wicked witch has turned the leader into a frog.

Yeah. The leader of the highwayman is the princess's brother who was separated

from her when they were tadpoles.

But she doesn't know this, see?

And that's the end of the first act.

The first act?

Yeah. How many scenes are there in that?

Only 18.

18?

That'll take a lot of... scenery, won't it? Now, don't get excited. I've already

rented the scenery and the costumes.

But don't you have to pay for that stuff in advance?

Sure, I gave him a check on the club treasury.

But there's no money in the club treasury account.

You don't give me credit for anything.

I dated the check the day after the show. By that time, there'll be a lot of

money in the bank.

Oh, dear.

You want to hear the rest of the story? Why not?

Now, in the meantime, the prince, who thinks he's a peasant, but he's really a

frog, you know, is working for Squire Quinn at the inn.

And the old...

Why, sure.

Well, all right then. Go ahead.

A lot of stuff downstairs, but I can't figure it out. Oh, I'll just have to go

down and check. I have to do everything around here. Come on. I'll take care of

it. You two keep on your rehearsing. Come on now. Don't stop. Let's get at

Yes, Mrs. DeMille.

Hey,

wait a minute. Wait a minute. I want to talk to you about something.

What? Well, look, honey.

You know, I love Lucy.

And she's a wonderful girl. And she's got wonderful qualities.

But...

Confidentially, when she sings, she hits a back note once in a while.

Once in a while?

Oh, you've noticed.

Well, what are we going to do about it? You don't have to worry about it. I've

already taken care of it. I talk to the women, and she isn't going to get a

chance to sing by herself.

Every time she opens her mouth, the entire cast will join in.

Gentlemen, and welcome to the Wednesday afternoon Fine Arts League production of

The Pleasant Peasant.

I can't come out in front of the curtain because I have my...

Good Squire Quinn, and I want to shout about my inn on the river

out. You can easily see the shape, Squire Quinn, is in.

But where you see the shape is in, is in.

The rooms are lovely and full of space.

There's running water in every place.

The room has a beautiful view of sailing boats on the river blue.

You can watch the boat and the wind blow, but the spider didn't put in

window.

Lots of ale and stout are on my shelf, and I take a drop or

two myself.

A drop he said.

a good time to wet my whistle.

That's all there is and it leaves no doubt that the

squire's in his inn and his inn's on the island.

Well, well, goodbye, girls. I gotta go now and polish off a few...

But it's not as great as there was Mercedez, Rosaline, Betty, and Sue.

Dorothy, Janice, and sweet Mary Lou.

My remarks.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.