All language subtitles for i_love_lucy_s01e34_ricky_thinks_he_s_getting_bald

Lucy, what are you doing?

Honey, remember what you said to me the
first time you met me?

I sure do.

I said you were a cute little chicken.

Well, I got something to tell you about
this cute little chicken.

She has crow's feet.

You do not.

You don't even know what crow's feet
are.

I do, too. They're like pigeon toes.

No, they're little lions around the
eyes. Come here, look.

See?

Oh, honey, are you kidding?

You're beautiful.

Oh,

you're just being nice, Ricky.

I am not.

Well, it doesn't really bother me.

the day would come when I'd have crow's
feet and your hairline started to

recede, but I just didn't expect it so
soon, that's all.

But if you say I'm beautiful, I'll take
your word for it. Because after all,

you're the only one I have to please.

All you have to do to make me happy is
say that you still love me.

My hairline is starting to recede, huh?

Oh, honey, that's just a figure of
speech. You haven't got anything to

about. I have to.

I'm starting to lose my hair.

Frankie, don't be ridiculous.

My hairline is receding. Look, honey,
look.

Are you crazy? You should have as much
money as you have hair.

Well, I'm sure this much of my forehead
didn't show before.

You're not serious.

If your hairline was any lower, they'd
have to bill you as Ricky Ricardo Boy

Sheepdog.

Well, he's thick enough on top.

But gee, that hairline.

Oh, so your hairline has receded a
quarter of an inch. So what?

A quarter of an inch?

Do you think it's that much?

And they say women are vain.

Violety has nothing to do with this.

I'm only thinking of my career.

Oh.

sitting in the back. Right here. He's
getting sent back here in the back. Oh,

for heaven's sake. Come on to bed,
Boldy.

Boldy.

I refuse.

I won't do it.

I will not get bald.

Well, don't talk to me. Speak to your
scalp.

You're losing your hair, and even if you
were, there's nothing you can do about

it.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Worrying wouldn't do it any good.

Certainly not.

No.

Good night, darling.

I wonder how I'd look without any hair.

The ceiling does look pretty cloudy.

My head was cold.

Besides,

you never can tell when the plastic
might fall down.

All right, all right, I'm not asking
you.

You got any jam?

Yep.

the ceiling doesn't look any too safe.

Is my toast ready?

Coming up.

Honey, take off your hat. I feel like
I'm having breakfast in a beanery.

anyway.

Well, so I won't get embarrassed with
everybody staring at my receding

Oh, I give up.

I'm pleased no more jokes about it. This
is a serious matter.

All right. Who's making jokes?

I'll see you later.

Ricky. He's off on a new kick. He thinks
he's getting bald.

Ricky? Bald?

Yeah, he actually thinks his hairline is
receding. He wore a hat at breakfast.

Wait a minute. It's no laughing matter,
Ethel.

I can understand how he feels now that
my hairline has started to recede.

Oh, honey.

hairline isn't starting to recede. Let
me see.

Turn around.

Never mind. I got plenty hair.

Comes way down over my eyes.

Yeah, you better cut it. People think
you're a girl.

Very comical.

Oh, Lucy, you're kidding about Ricky.
Well, he's got lots of hair.

I know it, but he's got this crazy idea
and he believes it. I gotta snap him out

of it somehow.

How?

someone over that was really bald just
to point up the comparison.

That's a good idea.

Yeah. Well, now, who do we know that's
bald?

Yeah.

Fred, would you, uh... Would I what?

Would you like a cup of coffee?

I was just thinking of what Lucy's in
for.

What? Well, Ricky will start trying one
hair -restoring treatment after another.

Just like every other man when he thinks
he's getting bald.

What kind of treatments?

Well, you wouldn't believe some of them.

Massages.

Tonics.

Polices. Scalp scrapers.

Suction devices.

Freezing the scalp.

Burning the scalp.

Why, a man will try anything if he
thinks he's losing his hair.

I'm going to give Ricky scalp
treatments.

And they're going to be so drastic that
he'd be glad to forget the whole thing.

It won't work. Why not?

Nothing has ever been invented that a
man won't try if he thinks he can get

hair back.

Oh, yeah? Well, you haven't heard of the
Lucy Ricardo torture system of hair

restoring.

Oh.

Well, how do you do?

How do you do?

I'm Mr. Furlow. May I help you?

Yes, I'd like to get some preparations
that will grow hair.

Oh, I see.

Won't you sit down? Thank you.

What are you looking at me like that
for? Oh, it's nothing, nothing.

Now, what did you have in mind?

Well, my husband thinks that he's losing
his hair, and I'd like to get several

kinds of preparations.

I see.

Mrs... Ricardo.

Mrs. Ricardo.

Every case that comes to my attention
requires its own special treatment.

Now, I can't do anything unless you're
willing to be frank with me.

Just how bald are you?

Well... Me?

It isn't me, it's my husband.

Oh, your husband, yes. Of course.

Of all the nerve.

You think I actually came in here to buy
all these things for myself?

Oh, no, no, no. Farthest thought from my
mind. Well, that's better.

But, uh... But what?

Well, uh... You could at least let me
show

you a more realistic -looking wig than
that.

Wig? This is my own hair.

Oh, come now.

Well, it is, see?

Stop. Oh, I beg your pardon.

Oh, my goodness, so it is.

Now, if you don't mind, would you please
show me some of those hair -growing

things? What would you like? We have
ointments, salves, creams, tonics,

scrapers, vibrators, suction devices,
and agitators. Would you like me to

demonstrate them?

No, you just pick out some for me. Yes,
madame.

Pick out the ones that smell the worst
and hurt the most.

Yes, madame.

did the torture treatment work?

Ethel, I just didn't have the nerve to
do it to him. You should have seen some

of the things I was going to use.

Awful, huh?

Yeah, there must be some less drastic
way to snap him out of it. Well, I still

say your original idea was a good one.
What was that?

Surround him with people who are really
bald and make him realize how much hair

he has.

Bald people, a lot of them. Yeah, that
might work.

I'm going to give a party and everybody
there is going to be as bald as a

billiard ball.

Will you help me?

You don't expect me to shave my head, do
you?

No.

I wonder how many bald -headed men we
know.

I want this place looking like a sea of
honeydew melons.

Well, I can ask Fred. Wait a minute. Why
didn't I think of this before? I know a

man who can put his finger on a hundred
bald heads.

Who? Mr. Thurlow, the hair restorer man.

coming to your bald -headed party. Why
not?

When I asked him, he got highly insulted
and stalked out of the room and I

haven't seen him since. Aw, too bad.

Well, I guess we'll have enough without
him. Can I help you with anything?

Yeah, honey, put some of those around
for me, will you?

How'd Mr. Thurlow get all those men to
come here tonight anyway?

Well, it seems that they all took
treatments at the same time and he told

it was a class reunion.

Come in, gentlemen.

May I present Mr. Johnson, Mr. Miller,
and Mr. Davis. How do you do? And this

Mrs. Mertz, Mr. Thurlow.

How do you do? How do you do? Mr.
Johnson, Mr.

Miller, and Mr. Davis. How do you do?
There are six more coming. Oh, fine,

May I take your hats, gentlemen?

Mrs. Ricardo.

I had a tough time getting the boys to
come.

I had to promise you'd give them dinner.

Dinner?

Oh, well, I guess we can take them out
somewhere.

And I had to promise you'd give them
each $10.

$10?

And there are six more coming?

$90?

Gee whiz.

Well, we do have $100 that we keep for
emergencies.

Well, I guess this is an emergency.

Pardon me.

There you are, $90.

Thank you, Mrs. Ricardo.

Okay, boys, let me have your hats.

Mr. Thurlow!

Well, business hasn't been so good
lately. I need the ten bucks.

Thank you.

Sit down, gentlemen.

All I can say is this better work.

comes through in a pinch. Ah, shucks.

Could I have your hat, Fred?

Yes, ma 'am.

Well, I guess that evens things up.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Hi, honey.

Hi. I won't be able to get home.

I got a lot of work to do.

Oh, honey.

Can't you just get home for a minute?

on you for baldness.

Well, it'll just have to wait. But it
can't wait. It's a very expensive

treatment. Well, I'm sorry, sweetheart,
but I got a lot of work to do.

I'll see you later. Goodbye.

Is he coming home?

No, darn it. This is what I get for
being so soft -hearted.

It cost me a hundred bucks.

What now?

Torture system, here I come.

Thank you.

What's all this stuff?

Well, I went down to one of those hair
restoring places today, and I am going

give you scalp treatments to make your
hair grow back.

Scalp treatments? Yeah.

You think these things really work?
They're guaranteed.

Yeah? Yeah. Come on, sit down. Let's get
started.

All right. Your roots won't know what
hit them.

Now you just relax.

Now, first we're going to wake up your
scalp with a stimulating vibration.

tingle, doesn't it? Yeah.

My head feels like it's on fire.

Good. That means we got your scalp on
the run. Now for a little brush job.

has a nice, red, healthy -looking glow.

You sure it isn't blood?

Oh.

Here, tie this on for size.

What's this for?

To cover the mustard plaster.

The mustard plaster?

Yeah, after you get the mustard plaster
on, you wear the stocking to bed.

I wear the stocking to bed?

Yep.

scalp.

These are solid.

Thank you.

is a Desilu production.