Original subtitles

Good morning, honey. Good morning. What are you doing up at the crack of dawn?

It's only 9 .30.

Well, I'm trying to get out of here without that little monster from next

following me. Little Peggy Dawson?

Yeah, yeah. I can't get rid of her.

Ever since she found out that I'm Ricky Ricardo, she's like a spook.

No matter where I go, she's there. She walks with me to the subway in the

morning, she shows up at rehearsal, and the way she looks at me.

Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.

You know how teenage girls are. They get these fabulous crushes on men for no

reason at all.

Yeah, well, I... What do you mean, for no reason at all?

Oh, you know what I mean. She thinks the sun rises and sets in you.

Of course, I don't know where she ever got the idea that you're the smartest,

the handsomest, the most talented man in the whole world.

Neither do I.

There are a few other men smarter than I.

Why, you big ham.

Well, anyway, I can go through this cow -eye routine for another morning. I got

to get out of here. Oh, now you've got plenty of time. Nobody in their right

mind would expect you to be up for another two hours yet.

Well, I guess you're right. Drink another cup of coffee. I'll get your

All right, honey. Thank you.

Am I going crazy or something?

No.

Peggy. Good morning, Ricky.

Good morning. Did I startle you?

Oh, no, no. I always wash my hands in the coffee every morning.

My, that's interesting.

Yeah.

You go right ahead and eat your breakfast.

Don't let me bother you.

Now, look, Peggy, I have something to say to you. What?

Peggy, you're a very sweet girl, dear.

Oh, you call me dear.

Now I can die happy.

Well, uh, look, look, Peggy. Yes, Ricky, darling.

I'll be right back.

This is not my day.

Look, Lucy, would you do me a favor, honey? Oh, you called me, honey.

Oh, now I can die happy.

Now, cut it out, will you? May I have your autograph, Ricky? Just tattoo it on

my arm.

Now, that's enough of that, honey.

How am I going to get rid of her? Why don't you disillusion her? How?

Just go in there and be mean and nasty and unattractive.

I'm not that good an actor.

There must be some way.

Of course.

I know the perfect way for me to straighten her out. How?

You talk to her.

Me? Yeah.

I gotta go to rehearsal. Goodbye, honey. But, Ricky, what do I say?

Well, honey, you're so clever. You think of something. Goodbye. Goodbye, you

coward.

He's gone. Oh, gosh, I have to catch up with him. Oh, now, Peggy, wait a minute.

But I walk into the subway every morning. Yeah, well, he's a big boy now.

find it by himself.

Now, sit down, Peggy. I want to have a little talk with you.

All right.

That's a good idea, really.

I want to have a talk with you, too.

Now, look, Peggy. Mrs. Ricardo, let's be adult about this.

Are you sure about what you're saying, Peggy? Do you know it's love and not

infatuation? Oh, yes.

My infatuations only last a little while. This has been going on for two

weeks.

Two whole weeks.

Well, there's a little thing you overlooked, Peggy. Ricky is married.

I know.

Doesn't that make it sophisticated?

Well, yes.

And he's so much more worldly than the boys I know.

Well, I should hope so. He's a little older, too.

I'm...

What?

He must be pushing 23.

Yeah, he's pushing 23 all right. In fact, he's pushed it all the way to 35.

I suppose you think that I'm pushing 23 too?

Oh, no.

A woman can always tell another woman's age.

Yes, well, now about Ricky.

You know... Oh, there's another thing you overlooked, Peggy. What? I love him,

too. I was afraid of that.

You're going to be terrific competition.

Well, thanks.

Gosh, you've got that certain something.

Well, that's quite a compliment.

But how would a girl your age know that I have that certain something?

I can tell by the way my mother looks at my father when my father looks at you.

Ricky can take me to the school dance.

Well, now, look, Peggy, I want to have a talk with you, not as a rival, but as

a... a... A mother?

No, a friend.

Now, what about boys your own age?

Oh, they're all so icky.

They're icky, huh? Yeah.

Except Arthur.

Arthur? Arthur Morton. He's wonderful.

He's got curly hair, big sad eyes, and floppy ears.

He looks like Gregory Peck.

Sounds more like Lassie.

But if you like Arthur so much, why don't you go to the school dance with

Oh, he's too shy to ask me.

Well, why don't you ask him?

He doesn't know how to dance.

Oh. Well, how about this? Now, suppose someone taught him to dance by Saturday.

Would you ask him to take you?

Oh, sure.

Okay. I'll teach him.

I think I can recall a few variations on the turkey trot.

Now, look, you tell Arthur to come here right after school and have his first

lesson. Okay.

Oh, gosh, I'm going to be late. Oh, Mrs. Ricardo.

Yes? Don't say anything about Arthur.

I don't want Ricky to know that I'm untrue.

Well, your secret is safe, Peggy.

Gee, you're keen.

Bye.

Yes, ma 'am.

Won't you sit down?

Can I get you a drink of water?

Arthur, say something.

I think I'm going to faint.

Now, nonsense.

There's nothing to be shy about. I'm just going to teach you how to dance,

that's all.

Well, look, we'll start this way.

Now, you just watch my feet.

Now.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. That's all there is to it.

Oh, is that all? Yeah, now you try it.

Now.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two. Arthur, Arthur.

Take shorter steps. You'll be dancing with a girl, not an antelope.

Oh, now try it again.

Now.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, sidestep.

That's right, sidestep.

That's it.

That's it.

Gee, is this all there is to dancing? Yes.

This is easy.

Yeah, I knew you'd catch on.

There, now, let's try it together. Oh,

now, come on, Arthur.

What are you going to do to me?

I'm not going to do anything to you. We're just going to dance together.

You mean just the two of us?

Yes, that's the usual number.

Mrs. Ricardo, I can't dance with you.

You're a woman.

Yeah, my husband likes me that way.

Well, I don't know.

A woman.

Now, look, Arthur.

Some people are men and some people are women. They're made that way so they can

dance together.

dancing the minuet. Put your arms around me.

Oh, I couldn't.

Now, don't be silly. Now, come on.

Now, just follow me. Now, come on.

Now. One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

on your feet. Light on my feet. Yeah.

Now, follow me.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right.

Okay.

Now, come on. Let's try it again.

Light on my feet. Yeah. Now, try it again.

Now, one, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One. Oh!

Oh!

I'm sorry. I did it again.

You don't think this last time broke it? No, the first time broke it.

Well, I'll try to be more careful.

Okay. Now, come on.

Light on my feet. Yeah. Light on your feet.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

That's right. Now you're getting it. There.

That's fine.

Now we'll try it with the music.

I could.

But Arthur.

Mrs. Ricardo.

What? I love you.

What do you mean you love me? I love you. I love you. Arthur, relax now.

Now calm down.

Now relax.

Gosh, this is the first time I've ever had my arms around a woman. Now I know

what all the fellas are talking about.

Now, Arthur, there's a big misunderstanding. You better go now.

No, I'm never going away from you, ever.

Now, Arthur... Let's dance some more. No, no. You dance by yourself.

Oh, no.

Come on, now. Let's see how much you've learned, and then maybe I'll dance with

you.

Now, go on. Well, all right. Now, why...

What are you talking about?

Well, after you left this morning, I had that little chat with Peggy.

Yeah? And she said that she liked a boy named Arthur Morton, but that he didn't

know how to dance.

Yeah? So I had Arthur come over here, and I gave him a dancing lesson to get

Peggy off your neck.

What are you whispering about?

If my feet ever find out that it was my idea, they'll kill me.

Well, I knew you'd figure a simple way to clear the... entire situation.

Simple. I may never walk again.

Well, listen, honey, thank you very much. Can I forget about Peggy now? I

so. Hey, you know, this Arthur was so shy, I practically had to lasso him to

him in here.

No kidding?

Yeah. It was really unbelievable.

And then after we'd been dancing for a couple of minutes, he suddenly looked me

in the eye and said, I love you.

Oh, no. Yeah.

That's very funny.

In love with you.

Sister. But his being in love with me isn't that funny. You fell in love with

once, you know.

I sure did, sweetheart.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Peggy.

Oh, Peggy, I don't know what you're... Well, Peggy, I didn't mean to... Oh,

well, now, dear, you're jumping to conclu... But Peggy, I... Hello, Peggy?

coming over.

What for?

She says now that I've taken Arthur away from her, she ought to get you.

Why didn't you tell her not to come over? I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

No, no, no, I'll get her this time.

Now listen here, Peggy.

Oh, hello, Arthur.

Yeah, I know Arthur.

Well, now look, after all... Now look, Arthur, you can't...

is coming over, too.

Oh, no.

Yeah? He said he wants to have a man -to -man talk with me about you.

Oh, swell. Here we are in the middle of a four -sided triangle.

And it's all your fault. It never would have happened if you hadn't learned to

play that lousy conga drum.

Never mind that. We got to figure a way to discourage them.

Well, pointing out that we're too old for them won't work. I tried that with

Peggy and didn't make the slightest impression.

Well, maybe you didn't make us old enough.

Hey, you know, maybe you got something there, Grandpa.

Yeah. That's what I mean, Grandma.

Yeah. Hey, come on. We got a lot of aging to do. Okay.

Oh. How is this? That's pretty good, but you can't talk with such a young voice.

Oh. Is this any better?

Yeah, that's better, but don't tell me a man your age still has teeth.

Is this all right, Grandma?

Oh, no.

I used to think I'd enjoy growing old with you, but after this preview, you

better grow old alone.

Never mind that.

Listen, how about you? You don't look very old. Oh, don't worry about me. I

a few plans.

I may express my teeth, too.

done to me.

I'm disappointed in you.

Oh, well, girly, I'm so sorry. Sit down. We'll have a little talk.

What? Oh, pardon me. Oh, dear. I always forget those things.

he is either. Oh, don't try to scare me, Mrs. Ricardo.

I've seen him when he comes in for breakfast.

Oh, well, he's all put together by then.

Put together?

Oh, yeah, you should see him when he wakes up in the morning. He's scattered

over the place.

Yeah, well, you see, us show people know a lot of makeup tricks. We can look

young whenever we want to.

your way. I'll turn him over to you. I'll go get him.

Back at home!

Mr. Ricardo, let's be adult about this. I...

Who of you?

Ricardo doesn't look so old.

She's kind of well -preserved.

At least her hair isn't white.

Oh, Johnny, do you like my hair?

Yeah.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.