Original subtitles

A bill, a bill, a letter for Ricky, an ad... Oh, a postcard. Isn't that pretty?

Oh, it's from the Bishers. Dear Ricky and Lucy, having a wonderful time here

Miami. Leaving tomorrow for the, uh, uh... Everglades. The Everglades.

Ben has been fishing and last week caught a 115 -pound, uh, sailfish.

Well, go ahead. Tell me what the rest of the card says.

Getting a wonderful tan. We'll call you when we get home next week. Love, Edna

and Ben.

What time was it postmarked?

4 .30.

A .M. or P .M.? Really, Ethel, I'm surprised at you. You know, this is a

offense. If it wasn't for our friendship, I'd turn you over to the

Thanks terribly.

No, really, I mean it. Reading another person's mail is just awful. The

mail is something sacred. It's like a diary.

Why, Ricky and I wouldn't think of reading each other's mail.

Now, take this letter, for instance. It's addressed to Ricky, and it's from

War Department.

Now, I'm curious, but I'm certainly not going to... War Department?

Gee, you don't think Ricky's been... been drafted?

Oh, please, Ethel. I wasn't going to say it out loud.

Oh, look.

Cheap glue.

to report to Fort Dix, New Jersey Monday at three o 'clock.

It had signed Maurice Thompson, Colonel Infantry, Commanding Officer.

It's true.

Ricky's been drafted.

Now, Lucy, you've got to be brave.

I'll be brave.

Is that being brave?

It is for a coward like me.

Oh, now, Lucy, pull yourself together.

You know what you ought to do? What?

Go downtown and buy a new hat. Oh, Ethel, please don't make jokes. I'm not

joking. It'll take your mind off your troubles.

No use sitting around here moping.

Well, maybe shopping would help.

And while I'm downtown, I'll buy some yarn so I can knit Ricky some socks to

wear with his uniform. That's a good idea. Now get your coat. All right.

Oh, I've got to glue this back together again.

I'll fix it.

I've had lots of practice at this. All right.

Oh, you know, I know... What is a dilly of a hat to take my mind off my

troubles, you know? Yes.

Yes.

Is Ethel up here?

No, I haven't seen her.

She and Lucy must be out shopping someplace.

Uh -oh, that'll cost me.

Hey, we got a car from the Bishers. They're in Florida.

Yeah, how do you like that guy catching a 115 -pound sailfish?

How did you know that he caught a hundred and... Oh, Ethel.

Some people build model airplanes.

Ethel reads postcards.

Oh, good.

I got my orders to go to Ford's X Monday.

Orders? For dicks? Hold on, Fred, hold on. I haven't been drafted.

Take it easy.

No, I'm just taking a show down there to entertain the boys.

And you know how the Army is. You can even scratch yourself without orders.

A show?

Hey, that ought to be a lot of fun.

Well, why don't you come along?

You can do one of your old vaudeville routines.

Great. You know, I used to do a Civil War act in vaudeville. I played the

and my partner played the South.

I've still got the costumes.

Really? Want to do it with me? Why, sure. I'll be perfect for it.

Stonewall Ricardo from South Havana.

I'll show you how the thing goes. All right, Fred. Hey, I can use that broom

there for the musket.

Uh -oh.

We're supposed to go out to dinner Monday night.

But I'll just tell Ethel I'd rather do this.

Look, whatever you do, don't tell Ethel where you're going.

Because if you tell Ethel, she'll tell Lucy, and Lucy will want to get into the

act. Well, why don't you let her sing a song or something?

It wouldn't be patriotic.

Patriotic? Have you ever heard Lucy sing?

No. Our fighting men have been through enough.

Okay, not a word to Ethel. I'll just tell her I'm not available Monday night.

And I won't tell her why.

And boy, that'll drive her crazy.

Now, spread out, and I'll show you how this thing... Okay. Spread out.

Hi.

Hi.

Ricky, did you read the mail, dear?

Mm -hmm.

Well?

Well, what?

Well, was there anything interesting or different?

No.

Oh, yes, there was something.

Oh, what?

Ben Bisher got a 115 -pound sailfish.

Oh.

Don't you have anything else to tell me, Ricky?

About what?

About... About...

about it. Something happened?

Yes. Yes, that's it. Something happened.

Well, what?

Well, I bought a new hat, and I don't know if you'll like it.

Oh, honey, it's not all.

Well, let me see it. All right.

Why, honey, I like it. It's real cute.

Ricky's been drafted.

And he's trying to spare me by not telling me about it.

Oh,

Ethel, you're such a good friend to take my troubles so hard.

Thanks, but I've got troubles of my own.

Fred just told me he's going with Ricky Monday.

What?

Wouldn't tell me where.

must have enlisted.

Ethel, we've got to pull ourselves together.

If our men are going to be so brave and so wonderful, the least we can do is

make it as easy as possible for them. Yes.

I'm knitting some socks for Fred, too.

That's nice.

We got to be brave, Lucy.

Brave.

We've got to keep a stiff upper lip.

with you. Well, I'm sorry, Fred. I just don't seem to be able to concentrate.

I'm worried.

About what?

Well, maybe you can help me.

You've been married for a long while, haven't you? Why bring that up when

having such a good time?

Well, maybe you know women better than I do.

Lucy's been acting strange lately.

Strange? How can you tell?

I mean, for one thing, she breaks into tears for no reason at all, and she

terribly nervous.

And the other day, I walked into the room, and she hit whatever she was doing

behind her back.

It looked like knitting.

Knitting? Yeah.

Well, Ricky, my boy, congratulations.

Congratulations? Why, it's as plain as the nose on your face.

You're going to be a father.

Me?

Father? When a woman cries... for no reason, sits down and mits tiny little

things. What else?

Me, father?

Of course.

Me, father?

Yeah, you, father. Lucy, mother.

Me, Tarzan.

Oh, gosh.

Well, now that we've straightened out your paternal status, let's go on with

routine.

Okay. Of course, it could be something else.

When are you going to take facts like I do, Ricky?

Ethel is nervous and weepy lately, too.

She's been knitting little things and hiding them from me.

But you don't think that I... that I...

Give him a shower.

What for?

I mean a surprise party shower.

And we can try our act out on the crowd.

All right. Well, give him a surprise party Sunday night before we leave for

Dix. Good deal.

Gee whiz.

Lucy's going to be a mother and I'm going to be a father.

I know just how you feel, son.

Bethel's going to be a mother and I'm going to be a father.

to get nasty about it, I suppose yours is going to win a prize.

It's better than yours.

Let's see.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Gee, I guess I'm past the sock stage. I better try for a blanket.

I think you're past the blanket stage. You better try for a tent.

Oh, well, I'm surprised we can knit it all. What with our husbands going into

the army.

Our two wonderful little boys.

Yeah. See, they're so anxious to be good soldiers.

You know what they were doing when I went up to the apartment a little while

ago? What?

Drilling. Drilling.

Marching up and down with a broom and a mop.

Oh.

I wish there was something more we could do for them besides just knitting socks

and tents.

I know. Let's give them a going -away party.

A surprise party.

Yeah, we'll give it Sunday night just before they leave. That's a wonderful

idea. Who will we ask? Well, let's see now. There's the Sedgwick's, the

Orsatti's, the Bazell's, Billy Joseph's.

Ethel, do you think the boys found out about the party tonight?

No, they can't think about anything but going into the army.

Yeah. Gee, this is their last night as civilians.

Now remember, we're not going to argue with them no matter what happens. I

wouldn't think of it.

Where are they now?

They're downstairs drilling.

Bless their little britches.

Now, here's the plan for the party. I told everybody that I'd leave the front

door unlocked. Unlocked? Yeah. And they should tiptoe in and hide someplace.

How are we going to keep the boys occupied so they won't notice?

Oh, now, don't worry. We'll manage some way.

Who left this door unlocked?

I don't know.

Do you think the girls suspect anything about the party tonight?

No, with all that knitting and acting like little mothers, they don't know

anything else is going on.

Listen, I told everybody that I was going to leave the back door unlocked

that you sneak in through the kitchen.

So I want you to keep your eye on the kitchen door.

Well, how are we going to hide them from the girls?

Well, look, whenever the people start coming in, we just have to figure out

way to get the girls back into the bedroom.

Watch it now. Here they come. I don't know.

Hi girls

Did

you hear

anything I thought I did

I think someone's at the door.

I'll get it. No, no, I'll get it. I'll get it.

Oh, all right.

No, there's no one here.

Ricky, would you get me a drink of water, please, dear?

Oh, all right.

I'd like a glass of water, too, Fred. Well, I'll get them both. No!

I can't drink a glass of water unless Fred brings it to me with his own little

hand. Okay, I'll get them both. No!

Ricky, Ricky, honey, you wouldn't want me to have anything that you didn't

me. You're a little old self now, would you, baby?

Well, honey, what difference would it make whether I brought it? Well, it does

make a difference, though, honey. I can't tell you exactly what it is, but

is a difference. All right, all right. Well, we both go.

We brought you milk. Milk? It's better for you.

How's the milk, girls?

Fine. It's all right if you like milk.

Lucy, your nose is shiny.

It is. I just powdered it.

Stand still a minute, will you? I want to see how my hair looks. Oh, you.

knows it's shiny, too.

It is dark, is it, Fred?

Well, I can't tell. There's such a bright reflection coming off of there.

listen, Fred Merchant.

Water, dear.

Well, honey, you haven't finished this one yet.

Oh.

More milk.

You just had a full glass of milk. I don't know why I seem to be so thirsty

tonight. I must have had something salty for dinner.

All right, all right. More milk. More milk. I'll get you some more, too,

All right.

The closet's a cop.

Hey there, girl.

Lucy.

What? You know... is shiny again. Oh, now, Ricky, really, it couldn't be

Oh, all right, dear. All right. I know,

I'm going.

Jack! Where? The closet!

lose your sense of humor.

Why should we lose our sense of humor? Yeah.

Well, you know how women act when they're in your condition.

My condition?

What's my condition?

Well, honey. Same as Ethel's.

Ethel's? Yeah, we know all about it.

Come on, honey, sit down. You have to take it real easy, you know, and have a

good rest. Be real comfortable all the time. Come on, darling. Why?

Take it easy.

Now, wait a minute. You guys act like somebody's going to have a baby. Well,

someone is.

Well, don't look at me.

Well,

don't look at me.

things that you were knitting. Yeah.

Knitting? Oh, honey, we were knitting socks for you and Fred to take to Fort

tomorrow. Oh.

You knew about that?

Yes. And we're just dying to see you in your uniform. Oh, come on, Rick. Let's

put him on. Yeah, we'll put him on. Let's go, Fred. Take it over. We'll put

right on.

Oh,

imagine them thinking we were going to have babies. Yeah, they certainly can

jump at some wrong conclusions. Yeah. Gee, I wish there were some wrong

conclusions that we could jump to.

Oh, we're going to get to see our soldier boy.

I'd be jumping to conclusions.

You know what? We invited everyone here for a going -away party.

Lucy and Ricky will be back with a little surprise.

Stand by.

Hey, Santa, you put on a little weight, didn't you?

How about you?

Yeah.

How about you, Ethel?

Fred, where did you ever find such a big pillow?

Huh? Why don't you answer me? I'm not wearing a pillow.

our good song.