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Previously on Headcase. Oh yeah, right?

Let's get married! Oh yeah, fuck yes!

Yes! Married life is so good.

Does she know you're here? No. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. How do you

guys know each other? I'm a wedding planner. She's a lawyer in my building.

So, alright, I'll do the book club. Hi, baby.

What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in yoga.

Michael! Are we planning a wedding?

No, I mean... Eventually, but I mean... No, when we walk in the reception, they

let the white doves out, we walk through.

We're not talking about this, man. I thought, Chris, when you said cut it

thought you were talking about that. Yeah, cut off the relationship.

Oh, okay. If the truck wasn't between us, I'd give you a... Oh, goodbye.

By the way, have you been thinking about a bachelor at night?

Thank you for the party!

God damn it! Am I somebody to idolize or what?

Hello?

We're on the girls' night out, and I'm too drunk to drive.

Burger. Good, good, sir.

I don't think that's any of your business.

Myron, I hear you have a magic coke.

Hey, Doc, here's your baby pack. Oh, you gentle lamb.

I didn't mean to ask you.

Brian, I'm in a relationship.

No, no, it's committed.

It's serious.

No, no, I'm sorry. I hate doing this. No, no, it's not really about... I know,

know, I know, but you know what? It always happens. When somebody gets in a

relationship, it's like fees to money. Everybody starts buzzing around.

Everybody wants a little taste of the...

Oh, I feel so bad.

Well, you'll meet somebody. There's a million girls out there. Yeah, but

what I'm going to talk to you about. Oh, gosh, I feel awkward setting you up. So

you'll be fine.

You know what? I'm going to let you get back to work. Okay. All right, how about

that? Okay, enjoy that baby.

Okay, thanks.

If we're 10 years older and this was Africa.

Okay, speaking of Africa, we're going to eat. Okay, now hold it with both hands.

Good, grip it, grip it. What you're going to do is you're going to bring it

to your glossy lip.

Part them and use your teeth to bite down. Good. Little bite and chew it and

chew it. Make it a puree and chew it and chew it. Nice. Good.

Diana, you can't spit it out.

I can't.

Food is good.

Let's try it again. Now.

So, Nicole, hi. So what's going on with your life right now that brings you to

therapy besides the obvious?

What's the... Drinker or boozer?

Drug addict? Cutter?

No. Oh, so not typical actor stuff.

Right.

I'm a new mom, and I'm sort of starting going back to work, and, you know, I'm

thinking about, you know, what it's going to mean, and I'm having, I'm

guilty feelings about, like, I don't know, I want the bond between me and my

to be good.

I don't know what you mean by work.

I'm sorry, isn't your career over? Isn't that why you had a baby? Is this, you

know, searching for something because SNL was canceled?

It wasn't.

I was on Mad TV, not SNL. Yeah, same type of thing. I mean, wasn't it sort of

like it's over, so?

I mean, I've been working. I've worked since then. There's more.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Good for you. Thank you.

Good for you.

I came here to try to feel better. That's what I'm going to do. In therapy,

feel bad to feel better. I thought I was pretty happy. You're not.

I'm not? No. I think you've got postpartum depression.

Really? Yes.

I think you resent being a mother. I think you have a hard time competing in

this pool of sharks.

Maybe you should stay home with the baby.

I mean, why separate?

from your child to just go on endless cattle calls. I don't really do cattle

calls. I mean, you know, I meet the directors and the producers.

No, I understand. I understand.

Yes, you're a guest star. I get it. No, I'm more than, you know, I'm in a series

regular on several failed.

Exactly. So you're trying to decide whether you should be a failure in the

entertainment industry.

or a winner at home. I'm somewhat successful.

I understand that, but are you Uma Thurman?

Are you Nicole Kidman? Are you Julie Roberts? Are you Sandra Bullock? No. No,

you're Nicole Sullivan.

I'm actually doing a drama coming up, and I'm... Oh, you're not a divorced

What do you mean by, like, a new film?

No, a movie. A movie.

With Jim Carrey.

Jim Carrey, the comedian?

Jim Carrey, the comedian, yeah. And so we start shooting in a month. I'm sorry.

So you are starring? I mean, you're above title with Jim Carrey in a movie?

feature film, and we're starting next month. That's why I'm here. I'm having

guilt about going to work. I'm going to be long days. Do you want to be my maid

of honor?

I mean, I just, I always envisioned kind of a Meg Ryan, Goldie Hawn.

You know, BFF, cute, doesn't steal focus, but funny, funny toast at the

rehearsal dinner.

Did you just cast me?

Yeah.

I feel flattered.

You're welcome.

And dirty.

Okay, let's start the meeting.

Welcome to staff meeting.

I'd like to start by saying that the neighbor was a little upset with the dog

barking, but... Myron Finkelstein. Yes, yes, yes.

At a staff meeting. Yeah, go on, go ahead. I...

Somebody take a picture.

Okay. Love playing to a packed house. So first of all, let me just apologize. I

do want to do some redecorating.

There's going to be lace curtains, and I want all white leather and suede

furniture, maybe some candles.

I don't want to use the bright light anymore. I want celebrities to come in

feel like they're in J -Lo's trailer.

You know what I mean? And I am getting married, so I am feeling kind of white

and spiritual.

What else? What else? I have gifts.

for everybody.

You don't have to open them now. They're picture frames for my wedding pictures.

Take them home or put them in your closet, wherever you dwell.

Other than that, things seem to be moving smoothly. At some point, I will

little time off for my honeymoon to be announced later.

Anybody else? Anybody have anything to share?

Ron?

This is for you.

Okay. Well, that's it.

Meeting adjourned.

If it doesn't fit, it can be fixed.

Ganya, what's with you and the arm, eh?

You'll be very happy with it.

Oh, wait. I...

So, Cindy, how did, uh... How did you end up in my office? I've been waiting

be on your couch forever. You were so hard to get an appointment with. Well,

can thank Charlie Seen. You filled his slot today.

So, let's start with, um... How am I going to crisis in my life right now?

sure. So, what's going on? You getting bored with pornography?

Too much...

I'm not a porn star.

I'm not a fucking porn star. Oh, well, I'm sorry. What do you call it now?

You're an adult film.

I'm not a porn star. I'm an author.

Okay?

You're an author?

You're laughing at me. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you.

Everyone does this to me. All right.

I'm sorry. I'm laughing with joy.

What do you write?

I have a book coming out about fertility called Having a Baby When the Old

-Fashioned Way Doesn't Work. I want to do good for people and people to think

I'm a porn star. So you're kind of a reproductive guru.

Yes, now you're getting it. You see, here's the thing. I'm trying to have a

baby. Oh, you are?

Yes. Oh, I mean, my fiancé doesn't know that, but yes.

I'm just recently engaged, and I have my eye on a house, and I'm just trying to

get... It's taking forever. I've been...

I've been trying for a couple weeks and nothing.

Well, first of all, how much do you like sex?

I mean, I find it, I'm having a lot of sex, because you have to have a lot of

sex. I can, what do you, three times a week I consider, ow.

No, you need a lot more sex than that. And walk?

Well, this is the good part, you don't have to walk.

Because after he comes in you, I want him to hold up your leg so none of the

sperm comes out.

Can I just?

And we don't want any of that sperm to spill out, okay?

Nothing's coming out of that vagina.

So we go.

Can we cork it? Oh. Up, up, up, up.

Nothing's supposed to see it. Oh, now look who's the porn star.

High as you can, as high as you can. And you need to hold it there for 30

minutes.

Hi,

Lola. Oh, hi, Brian. I have a delivery for Dr.

Finkelstein. Really?

Yeah. But I also have something for you that I made.

I think you'll like it.

Oh, a chip dog!

Oh, it's great!

Just think, like Alba Molina.

I love it. I'll bring you this into the doctor. Oh, okay.

Hey, Doc. Hey, how are you?

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Listen, remember that time I was here?

You said to me if I ever needed to talk to you about anything, that we could

have a conversation.

Sure. I need to talk to you. Okay.

Okay.

I'm obsessed with this woman.

Completely obsessed.

I haven't slept.

I don't take care of myself.

My customers are, like, coming in, and they're ordering food, and I'm, like,

messing up their order. Some guy came in the other day.

Ordered a king deal.

I gave him a shake with a king deal.

There's no shake in a king deal.

There's no shaking that. Thank you so much for showing me the position.

Oh, God, I have so much more I can show you.

More than that?

Here's the thing, and this is why you can help me.

You know who she is, because she works here in the office.

Dr. Drew?

Lola? Lola.

It's Lola. I mean... Have you been intimate?

No, I mean, look at her eyes, her face. Have you been intimate? No, I didn't

even know this. Going anywhere is right there.

You're going to swim to find your egg, and you're just going to hang out. How

long do I hang out like this? Well, as long as you can without you passing out

from all the blood to your head. It's more important to keep that spoon in

there. If she liked you, you would know about it. She would have let you know

about it. The thing is, Doc, I fear the way she looks at me when I make

deliveries. The thing is, I work with people all the time. I'm surrounded by

people. I can see the way they look at me and interact with me. I know it. It's

not going to work.

It's going to work.

She's married.

Yes, there you go. See the thermal fan. Oh, you go, girl.

She's married?

Married.

Okay, I guess that helps.

Yeah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. She wasn't right for you

anyway. Move on. A lot of women out there. You're a good -looking guy. Thank

you. Did you bring fries with you?

Cindy, I have to say I'm impressed.

I'm impressed with you.

And this is good for your honeymoon, too. Oh, thank you so much. You're

Listen, I would invite you to my wedding, but you're so pretty.

So I'm going to give you a discount.

I'm going to charge you half.

You didn't really help me that much. You think that you're trying to be free.

Oh.

Wait, wait, Brian.

What?

Oh,

hi. I haven't seen you in, what, two months.

Yep. How is it?

How's it going?

He left me.

He called me up on the telephone. We were supposed to get married, you know.

Yeah, yes, and I'm getting, I know, and I'm engaged too.

You're engaged?

Yeah. You are? Yeah.

Wow, that's really cool. That's great. Thank you.

Nice for you.

So you're not getting married?

No, I'm not getting married. You know, we sat here in this room together here.

Here he is in the tiny little couch, and there we were together in front of you.

No, he's not sweet.

No, he's not. That's the whole point. What happened?

What I'm trying to tell you is that he... I could.

Oh, no, you don't. Oh, yes.

Delicious.

Do you want some?

No. Get all the fork. I don't. I might do two. I might do vanilla toast. Oh,

really? What a good idea. Let's get married.

Yeah.

That is heaven.

I'm happy. She called you up.

Huh? He called me up on the telephone and actually called me up on the

and said that he didn't see a future for us and that he thought my daughter and

I should move out after four years.

He was all upset that if you go too tall for a sense of peace. Yeah, because you

know what?

If you can't see the people across from you on the table. I know.

Yeah. I know.

I think just Callie Lilly spreading out with some of that grass.

The grass.

Yeah, or lemons. You know when they do the lemons in the water?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was going to have flowers that were... Dahlias, dahlias, dahlias. Oh, dahlias

is a great idea. I want dahlias. Dahlias is a great idea.

Okay. That was for my wedding.

Someone comes up to me at a party and says that they had something to tell me,

that they had a private investigator investigating this woman who was fucking

her husband.

And it turned out that Eddie was all over the pictures. Wait a second. My

all over the pictures of the guy that he's investigating, you know, the woman,

is all over the pictures.

Him sitting out of her apartment building, which, by the way, is around

corner from my house, 90 seconds. What about the Oviatt penthouse?

You could have a photo opportunity by the clock like this couple.

I like it. I like it, too.

This is about Lola. You know what she brings to the office? A little zhuzh.

Hey, remember Eddie that was here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No more. They're done.

What? You left me for a stripper. Is it?

Yeah.

He found out at a party from somebody that had hired a private investigator.

And there were pictures fucking her around the corner, 90 seconds. It took

my house to her house. I drove. I drove right to her building, 90 seconds. And

there was a car right in front.

I need to ask you something, Lola.

When Eddie and I, you know, we've come here for years.

Did he ever come on to you?

No? I don't want to interrupt your session. Thank you, Lola.

Fucking lying.

Nothing happened.

Yeah, I knew that.

What's up?

Nothing. What are you doing?

Nothing. I'm just getting ready to go to a meeting. I'm running late, actually.

I'm going to jump in the shower and do this Shannon Elizabeth late lunch thing.

Well, your publicist called.

InStyle magazine wants to do this, like, garden spread with us.

Wait, it's not like a marriage issue or something, is it? Just a power couple

thing. It's not InStyle weddings.

Okay. No, I thought they were doing, like, a wedding spread. No, no, it'll

just... Right, you didn't know.

We're not rushing things.

No, no, no, gotcha. Oh, good.

Good, see?

See, we don't need to rush it. It's working.

We're telling you, we're gonna have him in the palm of our hand.

Well, I miss you.

I miss you.

All right, teddy bear.

Okay. You hang up.

No, you hang up. No, you.

No, you hang up. No, you. No, you hang up. You.

No, you hang up. I love you.

I gotta fuck you.

my sister.

Do you know what Jason Lewis did? He was walking to the elevator after his

session. He only went and grabbed me. He fucking stuck his tongue down my

throat.

I know!

Christ, it was a liberty.

So, what's, uh, what's going on? Well, you know,

Obviously, the last time you saw us, we were arguing. Which is healthy.

Yeah. It is healthy. Not a big one, though. I got my work cut out for me,

I'm ready.

Here's the thing.

I know. It's bizarre when you think about it in that context.

It's so strange how it happened. All right. All right. You know how when

sick and you need to get just a little sicker in order to get better? Well,

that's a good one. Well, you got us really sick. Yeah. And now...

We're better.

We realized that we had things that we were keeping from each other, which is

totally normal and kind of hot.

Totally hot.

But just having that, you know, not knowing that he was here and him not

that I was here. Big trust.

Yeah, that, you know, I think we were doing it to protect each other.

That could be a melange of things.

They say when you love someone, you hold their heart gently.

Oh, they don't say that.

Here, they say that in Canada.

I mean, yeah, that is where I heard it.

That's where it started.

I know!

She did... She... I've got to call you back.

Okay.

We've just grown so much, I mean... Which we couldn't have done without you.

listen, you went from... Infants to toddlers. I know. So let's learn to

But I think we're beyond the toddler stage now. I think we're, like, riding a

bike at this point. Full -blown, like, Arnie Davidson. Really? We are on fire.

You are, superficially.

Hi. Hi. Did I leave some notes on your desk?

I wrote something down on that little index card. Did I leave anything on it?

Yes. I did? They're on your desk? Yeah. Oh, good.

Well, I owe this honor.

So this is a...

Finkelstein -Buckingham marriage meeting, and there's only one

item on the agenda today. I think what we realized is that in

order to really get over these obstacles, I need to do it by myself

with him, just as a unit. What Jen's trying to say is

we're breaking up with you.

You want to stop therapy individually and as a couple?

Yeah.

You two are stopping therapy.

Oh, my God. You are two steps away from being institutionalized.

My green pot has arrived.

Well, I'll miss you.

Well, you'll still see me every day.

Well, I am.

There's no need to, look, we're just trying to do this as adults.

Crazy Jen, as we call you when you're not here, listen to me. Johnny wants to

fuck your mother. How does that feel?

Oh, come on. Yes. Okay. Yes.

That's when he gets an erection. Not with you, but when your mom comes into

town. You ever notice how maybe that's a time? It's not true.

And Johnny just won.

She's gone through all your shaming. She's a compulsive copper.

You have no more money. You've been going into my account? I thought you

was your money. It's our money. We're sharing.

We're sharing. I didn't mind that you were at Melda Marker's buying 10 ,000

shoes all the time with your own money. I don't want to fuck your mother. Why do

you want to fuck your mother?

It's true.

It's true.

It's true.