Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,009 --> 00:00:06,030
Previously on Headcase. Time for
something different. I'm not very good
2
00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:08,870
and roll. What's she sound like? Is
Myron Finkelstein there?
3
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:10,130
Sounds like an old wife.
4
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,230
You're in a fucking good life.
5
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:13,770
Scale from 1 to 10. 10. 10? 10 is bad.
6
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,050
Oh, 1. 1.
7
00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:16,210
Myron, you motherfucker.
8
00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:17,730
Are you sober now?
9
00:00:17,910 --> 00:00:19,350
I'm stone cold, so I'm not drunk.
10
00:00:19,650 --> 00:00:23,850
Our daughter is back in town, and she
wants to see her father.
11
00:00:24,270 --> 00:00:27,550
Listen, I have a patient I have to go.
It's great to see you. He pits desperate
12
00:00:27,550 --> 00:00:29,270
plumbers to ABC last week.
13
00:00:29,510 --> 00:00:30,510
Did they go for it?
14
00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:34,620
We don't know. What is that? What do
they call that? Missionary deluxe?
15
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,420
isn't it so nice to be back together?
16
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:44,520
You have a daughter. And therefore,
technically, I become a stepmother with
17
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,120
warning. Don't underestimate mediocrity.
18
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,500
I'm not.
19
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
That's me.
20
00:01:01,230 --> 00:01:02,570
Jane Austen is not a celebrity.
21
00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:03,790
She's a writer.
22
00:01:04,050 --> 00:01:05,050
She's... Daddy!
23
00:01:06,870 --> 00:01:07,890
Megan! Mom!
24
00:01:08,470 --> 00:01:09,470
Hi. Oh, my God.
25
00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:12,810
What are you doing here? We came to see
you.
26
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:16,510
Hello. Oh, my God. Hooray. Hi. Give your
mother a kiss. Hi, Daddy.
27
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:19,410
Oh, a handshake instead of a kiss. Come
here, baby.
28
00:01:20,690 --> 00:01:21,690
Wow.
29
00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:25,830
I didn't know that I was expecting you
guys for another week.
30
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:28,970
Oh, well, the weather's great. I love
you.
31
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,940
Oh, no, Viola wanted her privacy.
32
00:01:33,140 --> 00:01:34,140
Yeah, you gotta respect that.
33
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,600
Okay.
34
00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:55,660
Good morning.
35
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,040
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Viola, this is totally... inappropriate
36
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,840
for an office. What? What do you mean
for laughing?
37
00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:06,680
My parents came into the office and saw
you looking like a prophet when my
38
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:07,680
parents are in town.
39
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,880
We could meet. Yes, my father is
tricking his way through the minibar. My
40
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:12,880
is wearing my underwear.
41
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,920
I want to take my own life.
42
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:17,600
No, you're Dr. Good. You are Dr. Good.
43
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,040
I am Dr. Good. You are Dr. Good.
44
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,500
You're 10 o 'clock in the office. Yes, I
am.
45
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,640
I am so sorry. We're late. Ow!
46
00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,580
What, uh... You love it, right?
47
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,019
What is it?
48
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,460
It's a decoupage death mask.
49
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:33,980
It's crafty.
50
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,820
It's pretty, right? Lola, why don't you
go hang that somewhere nice?
51
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,120
Yes, I will.
52
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:41,820
I love it. You don't have to wear it.
53
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,400
I mean, you can.
54
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:44,620
No, I will.
55
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:53,560
So, Ahmed Zappa, how are you... It's
Ahmet. It's Ahmet, like vomit.
56
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,740
Ahmet. Ahmet Emuka Rodan Zappa.
57
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,900
No one can pronounce it. You can't even
pronounce it. You're my doctor. But in
58
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:04,300
the traditional Islamic fundamentalist
dictionary, wouldn't it be pronounced
59
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:09,540
Ahmed? Well, I was given, it was given
to me, I'm in America. It was given to
60
00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:10,540
by my parents.
61
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:12,700
Oh, I'm sorry. And I've always known it
as Ahmed.
62
00:03:13,180 --> 00:03:15,120
Wow. You get stopped a lot in the
airport?
63
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:21,100
You make me sound like I'm a, like a,
I'm from the dunes or something, that
64
00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,640
a... Originally, you probably were.
65
00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:24,140
Dr. Goodsoffin?
66
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,560
Hello, Jonathan.
67
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,680
Yes, yes, I've got you coming in later,
and the doctor's running on time, so
68
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:30,619
that's great.
69
00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:31,519
Okay, bye.
70
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,520
Bye, see you later.
71
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,680
Doctor Good's office.
72
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,380
Mr. Grunberg.
73
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:38,320
When I want to date a woman, this is
what I prefer.
74
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,600
Okay. No cats, because I'm allergic to
cats. Uh -huh. Right?
75
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:46,740
Preferably not an alcoholic, and hasn't
been raped. Is that so much to ask for?
76
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,560
First of all, you have a high bar for
Los Angeles.
77
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:54,100
The person that you're seeing now, does
she exhibit any of these? No. I feel
78
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,100
lucky. Wow.
79
00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,420
And honestly, I'm a little bored.
80
00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,560
You're a little bored?
81
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,680
Oh, my God. Time to give up.
82
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:03,920
Dr. Goffey?
83
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,619
Myron! Yeah?
84
00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:08,640
I've got a call for you at the
telemarketer.
85
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:09,840
Do you want me to lose it?
86
00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:11,060
No, no, no. I'll take it.
87
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,100
In the family, where are you? Are you
the youngest? You're the oldest?
88
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,660
I'm in the middle.
89
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:16,860
Were you a planned birth?
90
00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:20,100
I want to hope that I was. Right.
91
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:22,540
Why? What does that have to do with...
92
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:24,320
What are you writing down?
93
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:28,440
Sometimes middle children are usually
not planned, and somehow that gets
94
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,940
transferred onto the fetus. I was very
sick.
95
00:04:31,580 --> 00:04:34,140
You were very sick. My lungs collapsed
when I was born.
96
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:39,060
Was it self -inflicted, or was it
something that... As a baby? Well,
97
00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:44,020
ways of... I had a way of collapsing my
own lung as an infant, as a baby?
98
00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:45,720
If you didn't have the will to live,
yes.
99
00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:52,100
You know, that must be awful for you,
sitting in a cubicle all day.
100
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,940
Isn't it? Doesn't it drive you crazy?
101
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,200
Do you ever want to just jump out of
your skin?
102
00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,860
You can level with me, Randy. I can help
you.
103
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:04,520
Why the hell do you have a picture with
my ex -wife's name on it, on your wall?
104
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:06,320
You were married to Martha Stewart?
105
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,540
No. I was married to Selma Blair.
106
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,840
You were not aware that I was treating
Selma?
107
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:15,000
What do you mean you're treating Selma?
Does that upset you?
108
00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:17,179
It's trust.
109
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:18,180
Like, I...
110
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:21,910
would think that you would have told me
that. Are you going to have a hard time
111
00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:22,910
trusting me now?
112
00:05:23,230 --> 00:05:24,129
Well, yeah.
113
00:05:24,130 --> 00:05:27,110
Because I treat your... Because you
didn't disclose... No, you didn't
114
00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:28,110
Or because I'm American.
115
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:33,650
Mommy, I am making the most delicious
blanket for baby Suri.
116
00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:35,410
It's her birthday.
117
00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,010
Come here.
118
00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:38,490
Yeah. Oh, I've got to go. I'm coming.
119
00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:40,230
No, I have to go. Okay.
120
00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:41,770
Bye. Bye.
121
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,010
Ah!
122
00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,110
Hi, I'm Goldie.
123
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:48,830
Colding.
124
00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:50,710
Home?
125
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,310
Finkelstein.
126
00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:54,150
I'm here to see my dad.
127
00:05:57,170 --> 00:05:58,990
Right. Is he in?
128
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,390
Um... Okay,
129
00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:05,210
I hope you feel better. But come on in.
130
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:08,730
I'll make you feel better. All right?
Good luck. Good job.
131
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,660
Did you ever go to training camps when
you were in the summer? What the hell is
132
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:18,720
wrong with you? No, no, I'm just
curious. What kind of camps did you go
133
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,460
went to sleepaway camp in Fresno,
California.
134
00:06:21,980 --> 00:06:24,760
I practiced archery. Does that scare
you?
135
00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:29,840
Okay, archery. Did you ever hear, did
anyone ever talk about cells when you
136
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,060
were? I also water skied.
137
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,780
Not a lot of water skiing with the
Taliban members.
138
00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:36,180
Not yet.
139
00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:39,180
I have an exercise I want to do with
you.
140
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:46,900
It's good to see you.
141
00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:49,860
Yeah.
142
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:51,960
Yeah. You're very pretty.
143
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,960
Okay, so I want you to take a breath and
fall back.
144
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,160
Trust me.
145
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:00,480
Trust me. Come back. Come back. Good.
146
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:01,860
Good. Good.
147
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,120
Trusting. Okay, this doesn't feel right.
Okay, no. Just go with it a little
148
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,020
further, a little further. And trust. Go
back, back, back. Good. Okay.
149
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,880
A little more now. Trust and breathe and
fall back.
150
00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:20,010
Okay, that wasn't so much for me, the
therapist, as me, the American.
151
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:21,730
I hate you.
152
00:07:27,770 --> 00:07:30,290
So, you're a newly married man. How does
that feel?
153
00:07:30,690 --> 00:07:33,430
Married life is so good.
154
00:07:33,830 --> 00:07:35,970
I mean, it is fantastic.
155
00:07:36,570 --> 00:07:42,000
Right? To wake up in the morning, you
can't wait to grab each other and...
156
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,740
you what you dreamt about and how much
you mean to one another.
157
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:46,960
Does he know you're here? No.
158
00:07:47,780 --> 00:07:51,360
That's the one thing I don't tell her.
Okay. He doesn't know you're in therapy.
159
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:58,200
It's not so much in therapy that would
bother her. It's in therapy with you.
160
00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:02,500
She really hates you.
161
00:08:02,780 --> 00:08:03,780
Oh, she hates me?
162
00:08:04,420 --> 00:08:05,420
With a passion.
163
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:10,830
Oh? I don't want to say I lied or like
I'm playing golf today. Right. Is what
164
00:08:10,830 --> 00:08:14,830
she thinks. Right. So you're not lying.
You're just protecting her feelings. I'm
165
00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:17,390
just playing golf a little later in the
day. Okay. Is all.
166
00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:18,810
Thanks for the postcard.
167
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:24,070
I know. I mean, at least mom managed to
track me down a couple times. Yeah. I
168
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:27,310
know I'm a good father, but I've been
kind of crazy myself. No, you've been.
169
00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:32,610
Busy. Totally. Well, I've been busy.
Your mother and I, we split.
170
00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:36,070
I've had three abortions. I beg your
pardon?
171
00:08:36,289 --> 00:08:37,289
Better recall.
172
00:08:37,890 --> 00:08:39,630
Just in and out.
173
00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:43,929
How was it when your parents and her
parents first met?
174
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:46,190
How did that go? Was that smooth?
175
00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:47,810
Pretty smooth.
176
00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:54,170
Yeah. Pretty smooth. Lots of love. Her
mom is a fantastic, beautiful, sexy.
177
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,410
Young, vivacious.
178
00:08:57,430 --> 00:09:03,190
Right? She's foxy. Uh -huh, uh -huh.
Which I think is a good thing for many
179
00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:06,710
reasons. Have you had fantasies about
sleeping with Jen's mother? Is this sort
180
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:07,710
of a graduate situation?
181
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:10,050
Because... Maybe oral.
182
00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:13,490
Why don't you tell me what's going on
with you? I mean, it's been six years.
183
00:09:13,830 --> 00:09:16,070
I like what I do. It's just that I don't
do enough of it.
184
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:18,330
You know, I do feel good when I help
somebody.
185
00:09:18,630 --> 00:09:19,790
What have you been doing?
186
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,090
Traveling. Yeah?
187
00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:24,210
Living. That sounds interesting.
188
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:25,940
What did you do? Tell me about it.
189
00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:29,220
Do you remember that guy I was dating in
the band?
190
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,660
I was with him for a while, then he got
weird.
191
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:35,020
Then I just, I found myself in
Jerusalem.
192
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:36,680
You can talk about a party town.
193
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,020
I don't remember sleeping at all.
194
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,240
Middle East people love hip -hop.
195
00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:45,540
I mean, do -rags go for like 80 bucks.
196
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,380
And, you know, the currency exchange,
it's not a bad...
197
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,980
I want you to pretend that this is your
mother -in -law, Diane.
198
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,240
This is Diane.
199
00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:05,780
Hi, Johnny. Can you light my cigarette?
200
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:09,280
You know, I got to stop you because
she's French -Canadian. Could you just
201
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,860
of... Bonjour, Johnny.
202
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,680
Jen is not feeling well. She's upstairs
with the flu.
203
00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:18,780
Oh. Perhaps you and I could go for a
drive in the country, no?
204
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,720
Hold on one second. Yes,
205
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,460
Lola. Your mother wants to speak to you
urgently.
206
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:25,920
Patch her through.
207
00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:28,510
Hi, Mom.
208
00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:30,210
Hello, baby girl.
209
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,430
You drunk?
210
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:34,270
All right, hold on. Hold on.
211
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:39,210
Johnny, just give me one second, okay?
I'll be right back. Okay. Au revoir.
212
00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:40,670
Bon ami.
213
00:10:44,570 --> 00:10:46,550
Sorry. Sorry. It's a little privacy.
214
00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:48,110
Oh, I'm not even here.
215
00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:50,150
Hello?
216
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:51,910
Hi, Mom.
217
00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:55,290
Hi, Mom. I can't. Stop slurring. I don't
understand you.
218
00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:57,319
Uh -huh.
219
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,740
All right, let me speak to the cops.
220
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:10,000
Hi, honey. I'm just going into yoga.
I'll call you when I get out. All right?
221
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:10,879
love you. Bye.
222
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:11,880
Hey, Lola.
223
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,420
Jennifer. Should I just go right in?
224
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,440
No, no, no. Please don't. Because it's
the wrong day.
225
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,680
What? It's supposed to be Wednesday.
226
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,100
I'm always here on Tuesdays and
Tuesdays.
227
00:11:22,380 --> 00:11:23,480
It's the same time, but tomorrow.
228
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000
Uh, okay.
229
00:11:33,839 --> 00:11:35,380
Baby, what are you doing here?
230
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:43,760
Mother... Wait, wait, wait. What are you
doing here? Oh, you're engulfed. You're
231
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,000
engulfed. I am engulfed.
232
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,000
Hi, hi, Sergeant. Hi, this is Dr.
Elizabeth Good.
233
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:50,520
Yeah, listen, she shoplifts.
234
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,820
She shoplifts when she's drunk.
235
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,260
Are you telling her how to cry after
sex?
236
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,900
Are you telling her how you like to pray
when you have sex and call you daddy?
237
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:01,520
Thank you. All right.
238
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,200
Okay. Can you uncuff her?
239
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,260
Okay, thanks. Okay, bye.
240
00:12:07,940 --> 00:12:09,160
Jesus Christ.
241
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,120
Or whoever.
242
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,840
Oh, please. I think the fact that you
are lying to me is not the best way to
243
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:21,260
start a marriage. I mean, it's all
about... What the hell is wrong with
244
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:24,300
elevator? What the fuck is wrong with
our marriage? I'm trying to save our
245
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,200
marriage. Johnny, I said I'm going to
charge you for the full hour.
246
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:53,620
It's $4 .75, right? I gave you a five.
Yeah, keep the change.
247
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,320
Hi. Hey, baby.
248
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:59,700
So, listen, I want to talk about tonight
for a second. Hey, tonight, something
249
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,940
sexy. Before I see your legs.
250
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:08,240
Oh, you're just so fucking hot. I just
really, you know, I love your cooch.
251
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,120
Ew! You had a smile on me last night.
Ew!
252
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:13,340
Oh, I hate it when you say that word.
253
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:15,720
You know, I like to get up in there.
254
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:19,020
Hey, Lola.
255
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,640
Oh, hi, Mom. Can I take a load off?
256
00:13:20,970 --> 00:13:22,110
Sure. How's everything?
257
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:24,390
Been better.
258
00:13:25,170 --> 00:13:26,170
Boyfriend problems?
259
00:13:26,490 --> 00:13:27,490
Oh, no, no, no.
260
00:13:27,510 --> 00:13:29,270
Not those sort of problems. No?
261
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:32,510
No, it's more of a relationship thing.
262
00:13:33,450 --> 00:13:37,350
Goldie, who's Fink's daughter, has come
back into the scene and I didn't even
263
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,189
know she existed.
264
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:41,550
No one told me. I didn't either, yeah.
They had a rift. I could have helped
265
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:42,630
that because I mediate.
266
00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:44,550
Well, it's not your family. I mean, you
know.
267
00:13:45,170 --> 00:13:46,490
Not strictly, no.
268
00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:49,530
Those are good, aren't they? I made
those for you.
269
00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:54,330
Yeah. You want me to have the fry guy do
it, but that's Lola. Get out of the
270
00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,370
way. I'm going to do it.
271
00:13:56,470 --> 00:13:59,130
Listen, I know we were going to go to
that screening tonight.
272
00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:00,550
Yeah, what's up?
273
00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:03,270
But my parents are in town.
274
00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:04,730
What?
275
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:08,270
So let's just, do you want to just have
dinner with us?
276
00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:10,390
You want me to meet your parents
tonight?
277
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:15,530
No, it's just casual. It's like you're
my buddy Burger coming to have a little
278
00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:16,690
nosh with the family.
279
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,680
It's kind of a big deal. It feels like a
big deal for, like, the relationship.
280
00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:23,320
Like, oh, now we're meeting parents. It
makes it feel so, I thought we were
281
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:28,440
taking it slow. No, no, no, it's not a
big deal. Just two friends having dinner
282
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,700
with some older people.
283
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,800
I just don't, I don't love old people so
much.
284
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,140
Do you cook?
285
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,840
Oh, yeah, I cook a lot. Oh, you do?
286
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,540
It's important to cook, isn't it?
287
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,020
And you knit, too?
288
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:43,639
I do.
289
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,960
Baby stuff, do you ever knit?
290
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,840
No, I love doing baby talk. Yeah. Baby
talk. I love that.
291
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:51,620
Are you okay about tonight?
292
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,300
We gotta eat, right? We gotta eat. Yeah.
293
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,900
Okay. I can't wait to see you. I miss
you.
294
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:58,680
Alright, I'm meeting your parents.
295
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,040
Fuck.
296
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:01,520
See you tonight. Alright, bye.
297
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,860
Oh. Am I in your way?
298
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,460
No, no. I was just gonna get some cream.
299
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,130
I'm just, you know, trying to be useful.
300
00:15:16,430 --> 00:15:18,630
Yeah. Did you just come from Baghdad?
301
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,710
I just got back from Dubai.
302
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:22,470
Dubai. Yeah.
303
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:27,190
So I'm readjusting. I'm still... Yeah,
I'm sure. My time, my clock is a little
304
00:15:27,190 --> 00:15:32,350
off. Mm -hmm, mm -hmm. Is it weird, you
know, being back with your dad? You've
305
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,710
been gone a few years, right?
306
00:15:36,290 --> 00:15:37,550
It's a little awkward.
307
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,770
Yeah. Well, homecoming always is. Mm
-hmm.
308
00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:42,670
Just trying to keep myself...
309
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:48,760
Busy. No, better than... We're lucky to
have you over there.
310
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:51,620
I mean, you're just like, you're pretty
and everything.
311
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,620
Thank you. We should go out sometime and
talk about stuff.
312
00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:02,100
You know, whatever you have to talk
about, we could go out, you know, talk
313
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,100
it.
314
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:04,580
Say.
315
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Yeah.
316
00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:13,720
Thank you so much for squeezing me in.
Oh, of course. I really appreciate it.
317
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:14,760
Well, you have a hit show.
318
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:16,300
Yes, I do.
319
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,000
So tell me, how is everything? What's
going on?
320
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,440
Everything's actually really good.
321
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,680
Great. Yeah.
322
00:16:23,060 --> 00:16:24,580
Family's good. Kids are good. Yeah.
323
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:26,780
Look, I'm married 15 years.
324
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,360
Mazel tov. Thank you. And we're going at
it like rabbits. Isn't that great?
325
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,500
Yeah. And we took the top of our cake
out of the freezer the other day.
326
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,940
I licked it. I put it back. Were you out
of sweets?
327
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:41,190
Never had a sweet. Okay, good. Three
kids. Yeah, no. Three kids in the house
328
00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:44,950
like crazy. Good for you. Honestly, it's
all good. Yep. You know what I mean?
329
00:16:45,010 --> 00:16:47,090
Yep. It's all good with Granny.
330
00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:49,390
Greg, I just, I'm thrilled for you.
331
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:52,350
Last night, maybe between 3 a .m. and 3
.15 a .m.
332
00:16:53,199 --> 00:16:56,040
Maybe not so good. What? Did you make a
sandwich? What?
333
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,960
I didn't make a sandwich. What happened?
I woke up. I had a dream.
334
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,179
Was it a nightmare?
335
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:01,260
No, it wasn't a nightmare.
336
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:02,540
What was it?
337
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:06,520
I feel like I can talk about anything,
right? I mean, we can... This is a safe
338
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:07,358
haven, Greg.
339
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,219
That's the way I feel.
340
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:11,640
This is the one place in your life that
you should feel comfortable to talk
341
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:12,639
about anything. Okay.
342
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:18,319
Last night, I had a dream that I was
being chased by a huge vagina.
343
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:20,460
And...
344
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,480
And it wasn't a bad thing.
345
00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:25,720
No, why? I mean, why would it be?
Because it was your vagina.
346
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:30,820
And in that, I stopped and I gave in to
you.
347
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,060
And that's the dream that I keep having.
348
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:38,240
Let's review this clinically for a
second. Do you know what a glass bottom
349
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,880
is? Have you ever done that? Yes, in the
Bahamas. No, no, not in the Bahamas.
350
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:45,640
Like a coffee table. And I'm underneath
the coffee table and you're on top of
351
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,000
the coffee table. You ever watch Ellen?
Why would I be on top of the coffee
352
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,560
table? At the beginning of Ellen, she
dances over her coffee table. Okay,
353
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,860
imagine we're doing that, but you're
just all looped up.
354
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,360
I think we're really getting somewhere.
355
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,040
Maybe we are.
356
00:18:02,190 --> 00:18:03,910
Is there an N .A. meeting around here?
357
00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:05,430
Everywhere.
358
00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:07,030
Manana.
359
00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:12,210
Have you ever done the Trojan helmet?
Oh, God. I don't know what that is, but
360
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:14,130
I'm foreseeing something.
361
00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:16,550
It really can be fantastic.
362
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:17,770
In my dream, it's fantastic.
363
00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:22,290
It's like I'm laying it right there on
your forehead, and you've got a helmet
364
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:25,840
going. You know what I mean? And you're
loving it. You just can't reach it. Uh
365
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,820
-huh. And you want to reach it, but you
can't reach it. Oh, okay.
366
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,160
All right.
367
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,480
I've had another side of this dream,
which is, you know, me with multiple
368
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,600
partners, and they're all you.
369
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:40,820
They're all you, and they're trapped in,
essentially, the tank of my cum.
370
00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:44,800
Oh. And the glass ceiling is coming
down, and you're just banging on it,
371
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,500
on it, banging on it. All right. Greg,
I'm going to stop you right here.
372
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,020
Because I'm scared a little bit and
uncomfortable.
373
00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:53,760
You know what? I'm getting all worked
up. Okay, let's stop that because we
374
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,100
need to. You know how people don't need
to watch an entire movie? Yeah. If I
375
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,740
just shot some of my chowder out. No,
no, no.
376
00:19:00,060 --> 00:19:01,060
Here's the thing.
377
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,980
We are never going to do that.
378
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:04,279
Any of it?
379
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,760
We are never going to have sex.
380
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:11,790
I am in a very serious relationship. I'm
actually introducing him to my parents
381
00:19:11,790 --> 00:19:16,970
tonight. You never mentioned that. I
would never, ever cross the boundary of
382
00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:18,990
some kind of a sexual interlude with a
patient.
383
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,770
Okay. Wow, you're hostile.
384
00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:28,610
No, no. Now, maybe my dream will be me
being chased by two giant blue balls,
385
00:19:28,610 --> 00:19:31,770
other than that. Oh, see, that's a
hostile comment. It's not at all. It's a
386
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:34,350
comment that I'm going to now keep to
myself. There's certain things I guess I
387
00:19:34,350 --> 00:19:35,350
can't talk to you about.
388
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:44,390
Some people say, Greg, do you wish that
you could read people's minds in real
389
00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:48,270
life? And I'm telling you, I'm getting
some wrong signals here. No, no, no.
390
00:20:04,230 --> 00:20:05,230
Hi.
391
00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:07,649
Oh, hi.
392
00:20:07,650 --> 00:20:09,690
Hi. Are we linked?
393
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:10,960
What a surprise.
394
00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:12,180
Did you guys order already?
395
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,880
Oh, well, just something to soak up the
alcohol. All right.
396
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,620
Good morning. You're blocking the view.
397
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,060
Wow. Good.
398
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:20,840
You guys have been drinking.
399
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,520
Hi, Jeremy Berger. Nice to meet you. Hi.
400
00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:25,560
Beautiful young man.
401
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:26,759
Oh, thank you.
402
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,440
So, Ron, what is it you do?
403
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,680
He's a talent agent.
404
00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:34,620
Mr. Berger, I want you to meet my
younger daughter. This is Viola.
405
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,440
Hi. Oh, hi. How are you?
406
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:38,940
Viola's done something. Young Farrah
Fawcett.
407
00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:40,470
Mom. I can see that.
408
00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:41,770
I get that a lot.
409
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:45,050
Well, you should have seen her in high
school. She was fabulous.
410
00:20:45,270 --> 00:20:47,970
Sandy and Grease. Oh, that's fantastic.
411
00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:51,830
I was one of the Grease Lightning guys
on the car. Remember on the car? Yeah.
412
00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:53,490
Very butch.
413
00:20:54,610 --> 00:20:58,670
Thank you for calling the offices of Dr.
Good and Dr.
414
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:01,590
Finkelstein. Please leave your message
at the beep.
415
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:06,600
Hey, it's grungy. I know it's late, and
I just wanted you to get this message in
416
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,820
the morning, and hopefully you've
changed your mind. I'm sitting here with
417
00:21:09,820 --> 00:21:13,880
dozen jelly -filled donuts, and I've
gone through two dozen of them already.
418
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,280
know, I've been rimming the hole and
wearing them.
419
00:21:19,260 --> 00:21:21,420
Dad, Dad, you can't smoke here.
420
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:22,860
Why not? We're outside.
421
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:25,360
Why not smoke outside in Santa Monica?
422
00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:26,499
Put it out.
423
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,780
What can you do about it?
424
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:29,880
That's why people live in their cars.
425
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,580
Daddy, that's an economic thing.
426
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:32,790
A waiter, dear.
427
00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:34,470
Hi. Oh, hi.
428
00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:36,130
I didn't even see you there.
429
00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:38,470
Can I have a naked martini?
430
00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:42,170
Can you put whipped cream on that? I
love whipped cream.
431
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:48,930
Jeremy Berger. I'm so impressed. United
States of Talent.
432
00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:50,290
That's incredible.
433
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:55,010
Have you met my younger daughter, Viola?
A little bit earlier tonight.
434
00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:57,730
Yeah, I could really see you with her.
435
00:21:58,070 --> 00:21:59,150
Mom, come on.
436
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:04,100
Why do you always have to try to do
that? That is so ridiculous.
437
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,000
And, Mom, listen to me. Listen to me.
This is a real relationship, okay? This
438
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,700
is, like, solid. We're going to go the
distance.
439
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,440
You broke first.
35055
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.