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Bye, Ed.
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Bye, Ed.
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Thank you.
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Bye, Ed.
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Linda Lavin?
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Do you have any cash on you?
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I don't have any money.
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I mean, at all.
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Look, I'll just cover you on this one,
okay?
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No. No, no, honestly.
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Let's cut the bullshit. Ready?
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Let's go.
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Hi, Mom.
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I'm fine. How are you?
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Listen, I wanted to tell you something.
I've met someone.
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He's an actor.
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Yeah.
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He's lovely.
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Yeah, he's a bit rough around the edges,
but, you know, room for improvement,
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they say.
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to remind you about your date in 45
minutes. I know, I know. I'm just
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get the puffiness down. Good idea.
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That's great.
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Yeah. So tell me a little bit about him.
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His name's Ray Fissure.
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He's loaded and very big in real estate,
apparently. So I'm meeting him at Moosh
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at 8, right? Moosh at 8. Anyway, I am
positive that this one is going to go
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better than the last one. I've heard
he's very well -mannered and he's quite
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gentleman.
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Mommy, I've got a great shot to hit you
right in the butt.
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That's a joke?
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Yeah. All right. I just, I don't, I
don't know how to do this. So why
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don't we, I don't know.
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Why don't we start with what kind of
expectations you have for me as a date?
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What do you mean? I just, I find the
pretense of computer dating.
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a little superficial.
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And so far, you've just told a lot of
dirty jokes and you've been drinking a
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and I'm uncomfortable with that.
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We're out in the open.
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I'm uncomfortable with the fact that
you're fucking treating these.
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Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
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Here's the thing.
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Roy, is it Roy?
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Ray. Ray, you are a classic narcissist.
And so it's all about money and tips and
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dirty jokes and drinking and your
cocaine habit and your 75 Porsche's.
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And there's no room for anybody else. So
I could continue with this date and
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pretend that everything's fine.
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And, oh, I love your cashmere sweater.
And, ooh, that watch must have set you
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back. But the point is.
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That there's never a relationship that's
going to come out of this.
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Because it's always going to be about
you. And you're the kind of guy that
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on becomes a wife beater. And I'm not
comfortable with that. And I'm not going
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to walk down that dirty little road.
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Okay. That whole man rave. I don't know
where you're coming from. But that was
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fucking awesome. Because no one
undressed me like that. And I fucking
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am. I got wood. I'm on it. Seriously.
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Oh, my God. You're a pathological
narcissist.
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Whatever it is, I like it. I like it a
lot. You can't even take in the bad. You
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can't even take in criticism. Oh, I can
take it. If that's what criticism is, I
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can take it. You know, there is a
hospital in Arizona for sex addiction.
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Oh, okay. Up the ass. All right. Thank
you so much. Good luck.
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And don't decapitate any prostitutes
anytime soon. All right? Thank you so
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All right.
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Go come.
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Hello, Lola. I'm sorry to wake you up so
early. Hello, Doctor. I thought, what
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time is it? Oh, God, it's 1 .30. Listen,
who do I have tomorrow?
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Oh, Jonathan Silverman. I think he's
bringing his fiancée, Jennifer Finnegan,
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I think. Oh, God, couple therapy?
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All right, double lattes for me.
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Thank you. Go back to sleep.
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Night, night.
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Oh, God.
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Blonde actress.
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Dark -haired actor.
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No can do.
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Well, I know this took a lot of bravery
for Johnny to bring you here. So you're
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the girl. I'm the girl.
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This week, anyway.
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I know that you're getting married, and
that's a very big step.
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And a lot of times when a couple gets
engaged, it brings up a lot of issues.
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What kinds of things has it brought up
for you so far? Do you want to talk
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anything?
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You know, I just, I mean, I'm
considerably younger than him. You know,
84
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arguably have a lot of good years left
and, you know, him maybe not as much.
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Myron, wake up.
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Why, was I sleeping? Yes.
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Did I snore? Yes, you did. Oh, for
goodness sake, would you try and look a
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more professional?
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I proposed. It was a princess cut. I
think it was like one carrot.
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I mean, I feel so weird talking about
it. I sound so...
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Superficial, which I'm really not at
all. You know what? I'm going to stop
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for a second because I'm bored and I
want to focus back to Johnny for a
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Why her, Johnny?
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Why'd you pick her?
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Of all the pretty girls out there, what
made her so special?
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Well... I mean, I'm sorry. I don't want
to be rude, but I just feel like
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you're... Like, did I do something to
offend you? I just... Oh, no. Are you
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sensing anger? A little bit, yeah. Do
you feel like everyone's after you?
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Everyone's attacking you? Well, right
now...
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What I'm trying to get at is that you
look like a lot of actresses, and I'm
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curious why Johnny picked you in
particular. What are the special traits
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made you want him to potentially spend
the next maybe three or four years with
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you? Well, she's really hot, one. Uh
-huh. Two, she's
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really funny.
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And four, Johnny, she looks like the
opposite of your mom.
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Dr.
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Myron Finkelstein, how are you? Good,
how are you, doctor?
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Oh, man, what are you doing?
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Making a little delivery to the doctor.
Here we go.
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This is what we call space tangible
object therapy.
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This is your mom, and I want you to say
stop when you feel I've gone too far.
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Okay.
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Stop. Do you ever feel like you want to
get out and do something else? You know,
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just stop delivering burgers and, you
know, maybe more ambition?
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I mean, in a nice way, a positive way.
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No, no, why would I get out? I own the
place. I mean, you know. What do you
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The fat burger. You own the fat burger?
What do you want to say to Johnny's
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mother?
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He is 40 years old. He doesn't need you
calling him six times a day. You can
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change your own light bulb.
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Mom, please.
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I'm on vacation with your son right now.
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We're trying to have sex.
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No, Mom, you don't do that. You own them
all?
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No, I just own the one. Well, what do
you make? What do you pull down for this
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one?
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Enough to own a house in Positano.
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Positano? You own a house in Positano?
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Two, actually, but one's a guest house.
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Here's your mom. Hi, Johnny. Hi, Johnny.
I'm sorry, I know it's the sixth time
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I've called you today. I know it's the
sixth time. Is that okay? Is that okay?
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know you're on vacation with your
fucking fiancé.
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Huh? Can you get an erection with her?
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I just did.
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Fourteen employees. Fourteen employees.
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Did I give you a lot of headaches?
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Fourteen of them. Fourteen headaches,
huh? Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, how do
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keep it all?
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Because I was thinking, if you ever want
to talk about anything, I'm right here.
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What will we talk about?
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What's the longest you guys have been
apart?
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A week? A day?
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A day, maybe a day. A couple hours.
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Yeah, a couple hours.
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How does that feel? Good?
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Freeing? Fresh?
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No, it's sad.
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Are you sad without her? Yeah, we need
to be. What happens when one of you is
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location? Does that feel good, Johnny,
to just go to scores?
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I don't generally let him take other
jobs that are on the patient. This is
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I want to do. I want you to take a week.
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Without any communication.
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I want you to stay in your separate
homes.
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I want you to not talk or email or
Blackberry. That's ridiculous. But we
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still see each other. I don't want you
to see each other and I want you to come
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back in a week and let's talk about what
happened while you're away.
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We're not going to spend a week apart.
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Johnny, can you do this for me? Can you
separate from the sea devil for just a
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few days so that you can finally find
your center and figure out who you are
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have some...
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chance at a normal life.
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Did she help you? I'm just curious.
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Did this help you? This person?
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This is going well.
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Wow. Okay. You know what? You take some
time. You know what? Why don't you
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fucking marry her?
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I love you, baby. Whatever.
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I think she's terrific. Isn't she
amazing? She's good.
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Yeah.
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00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:05,850
It's very commendable to try school
again for the fourth time.
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I didn't know that you had to go to
school to be a Xeroxist.
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There's just certain training that you
have to receive. I've tried other things
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too, but sometimes you feel like it's
just time for change.
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And I understand living with your mother
is just a way to save money, right?
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00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,370
Sure, yeah. It helps with the rent.
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In a sense, it reconnects me to my mom.
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It makes me feel more like...
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Like I used to when I was a kid, and I
think that's really what I'm trying to
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get back to. Yeah.
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00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:43,480
No. I hope you don't think that that...
Oh, no, no, no, no, Sebastian. I don't
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judge anybody.
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00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:48,360
I mean, you know, it's nice when a man
has a close relationship with his
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I just... I remember when I was, I don't
know, seven, eight years old, she'd
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play a game with me or do a puzzle or
something like that, and I just
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remember... Have you ever had a
relationship with a woman before?
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00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:00,909
Sure, I...
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00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,990
I've got girlfriends, of course.
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00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:08,930
It didn't always work out the way I
wanted it to. Well, they were probably
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00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:09,930
like your mom, right?
190
00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:15,750
Yeah, I think that's probably true. Do
you mind me asking, do you have sexual
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00:11:15,750 --> 00:11:16,990
dreams about your mother?
192
00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:19,690
What do you mean?
193
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:24,090
I mean, are you having intercourse with
her in your head?
194
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,250
Well, I mean...
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00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,360
Okay. I've got a dream or two.
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00:11:33,620 --> 00:11:36,400
Okay. I'm just going to excuse myself to
go to the ladies' room.
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00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,520
I'm feeling a little queasy.
198
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,100
So good luck, Sebastian.
199
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,780
How did it feel?
200
00:11:48,020 --> 00:11:49,120
Amazing. You're over her.
201
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:50,600
No. Oh.
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00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:51,639
I am.
203
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:56,220
It's been a hard, hard week. Sure. But
this week that you have...
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00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,840
given us. And you haven't seen each
other or talked to each other. I haven't
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00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,500
seen her, haven't talked to her, haven't
emailed her. I'm going to be crazy.
206
00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:04,020
Okay, wait, wait, wait. All right, I'll
see you later. Bye.
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00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,580
Okay, no, I love you. Bye. You are a
vision. Hi.
208
00:12:06,820 --> 00:12:07,820
Hi, baby.
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00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,940
Aw. All right.
210
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,340
Jen, how are you?
211
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,480
I'm really good.
212
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,140
Good. I'm so good. Isn't that amazing?
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00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:20,060
So you missed him, and you want to go on
with the rest?
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00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:24,540
Well, first of all, let me just say,
you're incredible, and...
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00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:28,510
I completely underestimated you and your
abilities and what you were saying, and
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00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:29,770
you've changed.
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I mean, she's so good. I told you. She's
amazing.
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00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:35,290
I've recommended you to, like, five of
my friends who are in healthy
219
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:37,410
relationships. Are they working actors?
220
00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:38,910
No.
221
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,550
What's going on?
222
00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:44,290
I'm sort of detecting a little bit of
sorrow.
223
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:50,730
Yeah. Honey, she's right. I mean, I'm
27.
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00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:52,550
Oh, you're 27?
225
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:57,210
Yeah. Are you crazy? I know. I know. I
know. That's what I'm saying. It's just,
226
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,570
you know, I want to go see the Thunder
from Down Under with my girlfriend.
227
00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:04,650
I want to give random aspiring actors
blowjobs.
228
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:09,150
Wake up with somebody next to you. I
don't know his name. I just need that
229
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,770
And it doesn't mean that I need a break.
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00:13:12,490 --> 00:13:14,110
And you know what else? You know what
else?
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00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:16,290
Why not fuck a girl?
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00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:21,060
fucked a girl you can't get married yet
work on yourself before you're
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00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:25,500
committing i mean you have done so much
for me i can't even i honestly i feel
234
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:31,720
like my life is just beginning go now
right now you're the best just say
235
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,700
okay bye all right thank you thanks
doctor
236
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:42,120
i'd
237
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,600
like to see you outside of this office
238
00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:34,200
So who's in there? Who does she have in
there?
239
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,380
Jonathan Silverman and Jennifer
Finnegan.
240
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,240
Oh, yeah.
241
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,360
Skaters?
242
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,280
Do you just do that to annoy me?
243
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,400
No, I didn't know. What dance team?
Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, I know
244
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,400
one.
20362
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