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So I went to medical school and, you
know, I really wanted to help people.
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you know, okay, I failed the dental
hygienist test and I can't do surgery.
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I let the frog go. So what? The point is
I wanted to get into people's heads,
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you know.
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And I feel like that little kitten
hanging onto the branch, you know, hang
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there. Well, I'm trying, but I'm
bombarded with so much craziness, you
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sometimes even when I cut my thigh and I
go deeper and deeper with a ballpoint
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pen, I don't feel anything. How am I
ultimately going to help people if I
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add out myself?
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Do you know what I mean?
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I have an idea.
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Go ahead. Try it. Try it.
13
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Welcome to Fatburger. What can I get
cooking for you?
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I'm going to have a zucchini deal. Can I
have zucchini fries and milkshake?
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Okay.
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Oh, my God. That's amazing.
17
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It is a different perspective.
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I know. I mean, she wanted something,
and I gave it to her.
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And I could tell she was crazy right
when she walked up. And then I'm... I
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what you did. Right. Thank you. I know.
I knew you'd like this.
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I know.
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We should probably keep helping her.
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Gross, I'm a fat burger guy. I need a
shrink.
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Katie, what was the name of that dating
website you used when you cheated on
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David?
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So do you prefer Ralph or Ralphie?
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Ralph. So have you been thinking about
college?
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Have I been thinking about college?
Yeah. Would you like to go to college or
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join the military?
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You know, it's funny because I went,
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I applied to college.
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Oh, already? Yes, yes.
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I'm older maybe than you think.
34
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Okay. Okay. So I'm married. You know, I
have a wife and two kids now. Oh, you're
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married.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I love role -playing. This is great.
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And your kids are Barbie and Ken,
Cabot's Pat, some
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of those Flatsies, Patsies. Which ones
are your kids?
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They could even be dinosaurs.
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Oh, Ralphie.
42
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Look what I've got.
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Oh, Ralph, pick a color. I've got some
little sucker pups for you. Pick a
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any color you want. No one's judging
you.
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00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:54,930
I'll go with the red one.
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Nice strawberry red one. Good.
Strawberry red? Good boy.
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Sometimes in behavioral therapy,
children like to have a stuffed animal
48
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sucky pop or something that makes them
feel more secure and able to talk.
49
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:10,050
No, Myron, you're not on the board yet,
but you have made our consideration
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00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,770
list. Oh, yeah.
51
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So there's a short list, and that's the
beginning of it, and then you go on from
52
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there? Exactly. That's great.
53
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,790
Thank you very much. Yeah. Really
appreciate it. My pleasure.
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00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:25,150
Do you have an animal? Do you have a
pet? Do you have a blankie? We have a
55
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You have a dog? Is it a real dog?
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It's a real dog, yeah. Do you sleep with
the dog? The dog actually sleeps on the
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end of the bed. My wife and I... Your
wife? Is that what you call your... Do
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have a... I'm thoroughly confused, but I
will... I'm saying... You know, at dusk
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after you've played Kick the Can and had
some mac and cheese and you play house,
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who plays the mom?
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No, I'm the... Ralphie? Yes? Do you like
a little... Sure,
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I will have a little... Don't spill on
the couch. Is it orange juice? Good boy.
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Yeah, I'll take a sip of orange juice.
And Lola, make sure we have a Guardian
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signature in the file. Yes, I'll get it.
I'll get it on the funny page. Ralphie,
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what do you like to do?
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00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,590
What are some of your hobbies?
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00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,650
Do you like to draw? Do you like to
paint?
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00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:08,110
I like to...
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00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:11,510
I like to listen to music. You like
listening to music. I'm not good at
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I like to write.
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00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:15,390
Okay. A little bit.
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A little bit. Good for you. Now, do you
masturbate a lot, Ralphie?
73
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Not as much anymore.
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00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:29,990
That's great. I'm going to continue
doing all the pro bono work I can.
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00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:30,990
yeah.
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00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:34,410
Oh, by the way, I'm a little short on
samples.
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I'll pop by next week and bring some
with me.
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00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,110
I'm very scared.
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00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:38,889
Are you scared?
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00:04:38,890 --> 00:04:42,010
I'm a little on the pins and needles
right now because I don't quite get it.
81
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you think about your mommy's friends?
82
00:04:43,770 --> 00:04:45,230
Do I think about my mommy's friends?
83
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Do you think about the lady from the
bake sale or the woman from church? I
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00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:50,150
believe I just said mommy.
85
00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:54,250
Yeah, you see a mommy at a bake sale or
maybe somebody in curlers. That's not a
86
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:57,650
turn on the curlers. No. No? No, that
has to be, the curlers have to be done.
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00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,950
Ralphie, it sounds like you're getting a
little bit grumpy. I think it might be
88
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,910
time for a nap. Yeah. Okay. Oh, nice.
There we go.
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00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:08,560
Dr. Nichols, I appreciate it. Thank you
very much. My pleasure. Thank you. It's
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00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:09,940
not my pleasure, Myron. Sure, this will
work.
91
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,200
Dr. Freud, thank you.
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00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:23,600
To us.
93
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,060
Thank you.
94
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,900
Oh, what a week!
95
00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:34,560
No, it's just that I can't eat sugar
pops without whole milk.
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00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,140
I mean, I appreciate the skim milk, but
I've just had a crazy week, so I'd like
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to have as much dairy as I can.
98
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,060
You look like Dustin Hoffman. Did you
know that? No. Are you an actor?
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No. No? You're just a waiter?
100
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,820
Yes. Oh, really? Because I think you
could be famous.
101
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People have told me that before.
102
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:52,640
Yeah?
103
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:58,980
No? No. Because I treated Dusty years
ago, and, you know, Napoleon Complex.
104
00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:03,020
God, you really look like him. It's
funny. And look at your eyes. Wow.
105
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:07,250
blue. Thank you. Steve McQueen Blue.
Really? Yeah. That's very nice. All
106
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:10,350
Well, listen, from now on, sugar pops
with milk.
107
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,590
Definitely. Okay. You got it. All right.
Thank you so much. You're welcome.
108
00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:15,690
Okay.
109
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:23,920
I was trying to do something good for
you. Oh, I don't need you to do anything
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for me, my God. Thanks, you're my
assistant.
111
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,760
But that doesn't mean I don't have any
experience in the dating world, does it?
112
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,579
Oh, am I so pathetic?
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00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:32,700
Are you kidding me? I can't walk down
the street and I'm just trying to help
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you. Well, clearly it is really hard to
be this popular girl in my sorority. I'm
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trying to help you.
116
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,640
Do you care that you've got 163
responses?
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00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:45,720
163?
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00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,840
Okay, I'm going to narrow it down for
you, Lola.
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00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:51,580
No Bible belt. Nobody that lives with
their parents.
120
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,920
I don't like anybody that doesn't wear
briefs. I'd like a college education.
121
00:06:56,420 --> 00:06:57,780
Some cooking would be nice.
122
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,980
I like a man with a manicure.
123
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,300
Pets are okay. No fish or birds.
124
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:05,500
And this guy with the blackheads? Yeah,
125
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:07,940
that's nasty.
126
00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:14,440
So you won't eat your dinner if any of
the food is touching.
127
00:07:14,860 --> 00:07:16,780
Well, I like to eat.
128
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,820
I'm sort of compartmentalized.
129
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:21,480
Well, anybody that eats all their peas
is a good boy.
130
00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:23,420
Lizzie!
131
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:27,940
Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thank you.
How lovely to see you again.
132
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,180
So good to be back.
133
00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:31,280
So what are you going to dress up for
Halloween?
134
00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:34,780
Um, I'm not a big Halloween guy.
135
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:38,980
Oh, come on. You like candy, don't you?
I do like candy.
136
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,940
Can I first interest you in a tiny dog
adoption?
137
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,730
I've missed Pebbles. Oh, it's the
Reynolds Fine.
138
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:47,190
God, no.
139
00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:50,570
You know, I really don't like the kick
-me -dog.
140
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:55,630
Dr. Nichols, appreciate you coming by.
Well, thank you for having me. I hope to
141
00:07:55,630 --> 00:07:58,590
get to sit on a board with you. Well, I
hope so. Listen, I think I can speak for
142
00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:02,430
the entire board of consensual mental
health and psychiatry when I say the
143
00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:05,690
volume of your pro bono work is very
impressive.
144
00:08:06,030 --> 00:08:08,690
Well, thanks. I love doing it. Thanks
for this. Well, you're welcome. If you
145
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:10,670
need more of those psychopharmacological
samples...
146
00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:12,340
Scoop me a quick email.
147
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,320
Oh,
148
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:15,460
you're Dr.
149
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:17,660
Georgina, right?
150
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:18,680
No. No.
151
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:24,020
Myron, this is Liz Fair. Liz Fair. I
love your work.
152
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,080
Dr. Nichols. Nice to meet you.
153
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:28,300
How are you?
154
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,340
I'm great. How are you guys doing? Big
fan.
155
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,560
Really? Yeah.
156
00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:33,039
What's wrong?
157
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,380
All of them.
158
00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:38,940
You've slept with more or less than 50
men.
159
00:08:41,030 --> 00:08:43,710
God, math was never really my strong
suit.
160
00:08:44,010 --> 00:08:45,030
I'm going to say over.
161
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,950
How do you meet men, Liz?
162
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,350
I don't really meet men. I think they
kind of meet me.
163
00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:53,670
Tell me, how does that work?
164
00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,410
I don't know. It's just wherever I go.
165
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:58,430
They come up to me.
166
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:03,730
And how can you tell if a man is
interested in you?
167
00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:09,150
Did buy you a drink?
168
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:10,880
Okay.
169
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,140
So you're in a bar?
170
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,060
Did I say that?
171
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:20,100
Do you think they like a professional
look or more like you, jeans and T
172
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,320
and expensive ripped things?
173
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,880
When I go out, I try to look nice. I try
to wear like a dress or like heel
174
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,340
stuff, you know, something like a
neckline.
175
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,580
Are you wearing a padded bra?
176
00:09:31,820 --> 00:09:32,880
I think I can tell.
177
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,160
They can tell.
178
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,360
And do you think men like professional
women?
179
00:09:38,180 --> 00:09:41,140
women in a suit and pearls? I thought
you meant hookers.
180
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,660
Oh, do they like hookers?
181
00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:46,280
Look what I got! Look what I got!
182
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,900
Lola, I'm in a session. Liz, could you
please sign this? I'll sign it. No, no,
183
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:54,940
it's not for Liz. It's a DVD from the
internet dating website that I signed
184
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:56,700
up for. Look, it's a man. It's a man.
185
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:58,060
Let's watch it.
186
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,500
Yes! It's my session.
187
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:02,900
Right,
188
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:05,660
I'll just press play.
189
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,340
Hi, my name is Eric, and this is my
video profile.
190
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,660
It's my first time doing this, so it's a
little rough. Forgive me, but I want to
191
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:15,800
tell you a little something about
myself.
192
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,600
I love to play golf. I love to fish.
193
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:24,320
I play water polo. I keep myself in
shape. I like to run 15, 20 miles a
194
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,440
I actually pole vault as well.
195
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:27,760
I love animals.
196
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:33,200
My dog right there, his name is Bacon,
and I have a cat. Oh, he's got a cat.
197
00:10:34,810 --> 00:10:37,050
I think that's a maitre d' for Meechie.
No.
198
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:39,230
Him.
199
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,490
My car.
200
00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,050
Oh!
201
00:11:46,670 --> 00:11:50,130
Here's my cock Here's my cock Here's my
cock
16545
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