Original subtitles

Why do I help people? Because I'm concerned about the human condition. I'm

trainer. I'm not a William Morris agent.

I'm a helper.

I'm a picker -upper.

I'm everything your mom wasn't.

No, that sounds too depressing.

I'm your Avon lady, but the makeup is for your head.

Is this your first time in therapy, Jason?

No, no, I've been in therapy before. I mean, not for any long period of time. I

think it's important to get, you know, an objective third party's view of

yourself. Do you feel safe in this haven, my office?

Yeah, I feel safe here, sure. Good, because this is a safe place for you.

good. Your inner child, for anybody that approaches in here. Morning, Lola.

Good morning, Dr. Finkelstein. So what have we got today?

We've got something at 4 .30.

4 .30?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Well, what about today?

Um, no. What about the regulars? What would the woman, Mrs.

Roberts, what happened to her?

Deceased. She's dead?

You know, I used to have a lot of patients. I did.

And a lot of them...

But depressed, you know, and sometimes depressed people say, I can't take it,

Doc, I'm going to kill myself. I say, good, go jump. I figure, you know, tough

love, cliche but true. What's wrong?

Are you married? Are you seeing anybody?

I'm married.

Married. I've been married for about 18 months now. Very happily married.

To a woman or a man?

To a woman. And is there a sexual relationship or is it kind of a buddy?

It's a sexual relationship. It's a sexual relationship. Good for you.

Good for you.

Who's she got in there?

Jason Priestley.

Jason Priestley?

Yeah. Is he the guy that killed his wife?

He's the actor from Beverly Hills 90210.

Oh, that's Jason Priestley.

Do you know who that is?

No. Have you ever been with a man, Jason? It's a safe haven.

Actually, I've never been with a man, no.

No circle jerk? Nothing like that? No, no, nothing like that. How does it feel

to be perceived?

As a homosexual.

Dr. Good.

Across the hall, my neighbor, Dr. Good. Dr. Elizabeth fucking Good. She's got

all the patients. She's got all these celebrity patients, and I don't know who

the hell they are. I don't know.

I guess I live in the past.

Hi. Hey. What are you talking about?

Sandwiches. Do you want a sandwich? No, it's, uh...

Might be. Oh, it's your tea. I'm sorry. Oh, you came to see me. How are you?

Fine. How are you? Fantastic.

Good.

You know, I was thinking. Myron Fickle, Dr.

Myron Fickle. Pleasure.

Pleasure, sir.

Same here.

I think I better put the kettle on.

Yeah, no problem. You can do that.

Are you going to see Dr. Good?

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

How are you doing? I'm great. What are you doing? I'm an anchor on NFL Network.

Oh, yeah.

Let me ask you something.

Yeah.

Are there many Jews in football?

Which one is Jason Priestley?

Neither of those dolls, actually. All right, I have more.

Is this Jason? Hi, I'm an actor.

Uh, no, that's not really me either. I'm going to pretend that this is Jason.

Let's harken back to the beach day. Okay.

And I'm going to do something, and I want you to tell me to stop when you

uncomfortable.

Tell me when to stop?

No?

Okay, but I have some time I got about five minutes if you ever want to come in

and talk, you know I'm not saying which I know obviously you're happy with it,

but But I'm just take my card and if you ever want to come in I could you could

come in right now I'm just gonna see I'm see dr.

Good. Yeah in my line of work Jason I pay attention to not only what it said

what is done, but what is acted and I'm looking at your body language

I'm looking at a very masculine wedding ring.

You're a pretty, pretty boy, and I'm sure lots of fellas would like to have

kind of a relationship with you.

And I think that this is an area that we need to study. I know that you came in

to talk about marriage and potential children, but you don't have a child, do

you? No, not yet. And your wife is not pregnant?

No, not yet. Well, that takes heterosexual making love.

I'm going to do a little experiment with you, because we're going to start

within. And have it blossom out.

How do you feel?

Kind of silly, to tell you the truth.

How do you feel in your body? What's your body saying?

I feel just the same as I did when I came in here. You feel the same as you

when you came in here.

When you were breath and masquerading.

As a heterosexual man.

You asked me physically how I felt.

Physically, I feel the same as I did when I came in here. The body is the

from which I read. When you put on the wig, did you feel tingling in your

region? No.

Did you feel an awakening of sorts?

No.

Lola, can you bring in some lip gloss, please?

I like you with red hair.

I have chihuahua or passionflower.

Oh, I think Chihuahua.

Yeah?

The files.

Just put a little on.

It's a mask, of course.

You want me to put on lip gloss?

I want you to put on lip gloss.

Jason, take my hand and let me lead you down the path.

The path to where?

The path to you.

You really think this is going to help me?

We're going to need eye shadow and blush and other things, too. But I think

you're going to find, finally, Jason Priestley is settled in his own skin.

She's a therapist.

I'm a doctor. I can prescribe drugs for you. I'm not saying you need them. But

if you ever want something to settle down to, you know, whatever your mood

can prescribe. All perfectly legal. But she can't do that.

I can do that. You know, this is what I find so frustrating. You know, I mean,

just because I was on a hit TV show, everyone, you know, the rumors go around

and everyone assumes I'm gay. And meanwhile, McConaughey, just because

film star, I mean, he gets arrested naked with his buddies smoking dope and

playing bongos and no one assumes that he's gay.

Dr. Kurt, let me show you the colors.

Oh, Louise.

Look, I figured out the curtains.

And you know what I think? Give me one second. I think we should do boysenberry

wall.

Berries to boysen. I'll be right back.

Hey, how you doing? I'm looking for a menu. I don't know where it is.

Dr. Finkelstein. Hi, doctor.

Some people say Stein and Steen, you know. What is that?

Just some chapstick.

No, I mean the outfit.

Oh, this.

You didn't come in like this, did you? No, no. This was Dr. Good's idea.

I mean, you look good.

You look good. You're very attractive.

But, I mean, I'm not coming on. I'm just saying you look good.

Okay. But I don't get it. I don't get it. You were looking for somebody to

you?

Well, I mean, to talk to. Yeah, you know, sort of an objective third party

sort of bounce things off of.

I don't know what she has in mind for you next.

I'm old school. Oh, how are you doing? I was looking for the menu.

Good luck.

I'm so sorry.

Is it always like this here?

I don't understand what you mean. You know, we keep getting interrupted and...

Was he hitting on you?

No. Are you attracted to that man?

I'm not gay.

Why do you keep assuming that I'm gay? All right, you know what? I may be

pushing you too hard for the first session.

All I want you to do is go home, and I want you to spend a couple of days just

exploring the exterior, the feminine exterior, just to see how it feels, to

catch a glance of yourself in the mirror at Bloomingdale's, or to get a

manicure, or to be best friends with your wife for a day.

Just go with it for a while, okay?

Can we start a file on Priestley? Yeah. Hey, there he is. How you doing?

A big one. Still racing cars?

Oh, yeah, yeah, a little bit, a little bit. You come here often?

Yeah. Yeah? First time. Kick off, Eisen. Let's go.

It gets better.

Thanks, man.

I like your arm.

Thanks.

See you next time then.

Yeah. It's just nothing's happening.

So it's tough when you're just sitting here and nothing's going on. So you had

loose wire in the receiver, so I tightened that.

Yeah. So you're good. How you doing?

When you're not working on it, how's it going?

Good. You ever want to come in and talk?

You know what?

Just come back and we'll talk. You know, you got some stuff you want to get off

your chest.

All right?

Okay. No, I'm not pushing, but you know.

So are you still dreaming about tasting human flesh?

Yes.

I am.

That's why you're here.

Hi, Jason.

Hi, Dr. Good. I'm at the makeup counter at Neiman Marcus.

Am I more an earth tone or more sort of a plummy sort of a color?

You're a winter.