Original subtitles

I cannot bear eating alone, even when I was a small boy.

You were never a small boy.

I knew she wouldn't come.

I win the bet?

Name your pleasure.

Your problem is you try to control women without understanding them.

Problem? I never found it a problem.

Women know what I want.

They do what I expect.

Then where is she?

You see? You did exactly what I expected.

And again.

By the way, Carl, your fly is open.

Oh. Darling?

What?

It's your wife, Mr. Hart.

Thank you.

Hello, sweetheart.

Jonathan, you're not flying the plane without a co -pilot again, are you?

Safety is my middle name.

Co -pilot's sitting right next to me.

Munich is even more beautiful than I remember.

Munich? It's not a coincidence.

I'm flying over Germany right now.

Well, then maybe you can come to my party.

You're giving a party?

Yes, I am.

It's my anniversary.

Ah, mine too. What a coincidence.

Who's all invited to this party?

Oh, just my closest friends in Munich.

Housekeeping, room service, the doorman.

Save me a seat on your right.

I have to be at the Deutsche Telekom meeting in Berlin, so I won't be there

until after lunch.

Have I told you how proud I am of what you're doing?

You do the same thing.

That's why I married you.

Auf Wiedersehen, Liebchen.

Auf Wiedersehen, Schatze.

I'm crazy about that girl.

Okay,

okay.

A deal's a deal.

Paws up.

Not bad.

If you had thumbs, I'd let you land it.

Clear the way. Clear the way. Don't stop. Thank you.

Emergency.

Emergency. You've stopped. Thank heavens you're here. Quick, quick, quick. Step.

Step.

Doctor, please. The lady has me.

Just in time.

For young Maximilian's recovery. Now, it should hang directly above his bed.

Supervise it for me. Will you, Marlene?

Peter, I'm hurting him. And I am your employer.

I want it not killed. Please, please.

Okay, okay.

Peter.

Doctor, would you please excuse us?

For sure, Simone.

Peter, can't we go somewhere private? I need to talk with you.

You're having second thoughts about the wedding, aren't you? Do you know how I

know? I've had second thoughts about the wedding. Me, the man who's about to

become the luckiest husband in the world.

Perhaps it all happened too fast. Not fast enough for me.

If it weren't so right, neither of us would be nervous. It's people who don't

love each other who settle for being comfortable.

No sparks, no doubts.

We'll never feel that way about each other.

I see my timing is impeccable.

I've been looking for you, Simone.

Carl needs to meet with you about the prenuptial ball.

This is not exactly the right time, Elsa. No, this is the perfect time,

I have to go meet the bone marrow donor at the hotel. But don't you forget,

we're all going to have dinner later. I love you.

I was very disappointed you didn't join him for breakfast.

Really?

Dr. Gantz, emergency.

Dr. Gantz, emergency.

Lock her in my trunk.

Follow Peter. See where he goes. She may have told him nothing, but I can't be

sure.

Mr. Donner!

What?

Peter Donner?

Of the Donner Clinic? Peter Donner?

Oh, yes.

You are Mrs. Hart?

Jennifer.

Were those for me?

Well,

they even look pretty here on the floor.

You are our bone marrow donor?

Yes.

Is everything all right?

Oh, yes.

It's just that you look so much like someone that I know. It's my fiancée, as

matter of fact.

Really? Well, I'll take that as a compliment.

Won't you come in?

Is your husband here? No, not yet.

It's our anniversary. I was just on my way out to buy him a present on the

Maximilianstrasse. Oh, well, since you're my guest here in Munich, allow me

show you a few of my favorite stalls.

Oh, thank you. That would be great.

My German's a little rusty. I could use the help.

I know I wasn't planning to shop for myself, but under the circumstances, who

could resist?

I know. I know you must think I'm an idiot the way I keep staring at you.

How did she get out of Ella's trunk?

Did you lock it? Of course I locked it. Are you sure? I know how to lock a car

trunk.

I've got to call Simone.

The resemblance is too uncanny. She's got to meet you right away.

Can you manage?

Uh, sure.

I'll be back in one second.

Okay.

I can manage.

I hope his nose hurts worse than my hand.

Oh, you were wonderful, Donkerson.

You were great. What a great umbrella.

Strong.

Sturdy.

Shall we go?

Yeah.

Hey, wait!

Come here, baby!

I miss you, mommy. I just miss you, mommy.

Guess who else missed mommy?

Let me go over the guest list again.

Room service, housekeeping, the doorman.

Not so hardworking and useful, I'm afraid. It's Peter Dolman.

Welcome, Mr. Hart.

Jonathan.

Peter took me to lunch.

That was nice of you. It was my pleasure. And afterward, he showed me

wonderful shops.

Then he saved my life.

Then we came back here.

He what?

He saved my life. He's more like your packages, really. Oh, he was grabbing at

me, too.

Why were you doing that?

Oh, no, not Peter.

The mugger.

Mugger? The one who wanted my packages. I hit him in the nose.

Bobby stomped on his feet.

Sister Lillian whacked him with her umbrella while Franz hit him over the

with his newspaper.

I kicked him in the shins.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Thanks to Peter and the good citizens of Munich.

Well, I'm very grateful.

Oh, not as grateful as I am to you and to Jennifer for coming all this way to

help the bone marrow program.

Well, when Jennifer heard that she was the perfect match for your recipient, we

started making our travel plans right away.

I understand that it's your anniversary.

We have much to celebrate because I'm getting married myself Saturday.

To someone who looks exactly like me, according to Peter. Congratulations.

They could be twins.

I was just trying to call her. Would you like to meet Max Millian?

Max Millian?

The recipient of your bone marrow.

His name is Max?

Yes.

Well, sure.

We'd love to meet someone called Max.

We've tried to make Max's life as normal as possible under the circumstances,

but he has a particular hobby which is important to him.

Oh, let me see.

Eight -year -old boy.

Football.

Chasing eight -year -old girls.

These rocket clubs are all over Germany.

And the championship is being held in Stuttgart at the end of the month. And

is planning to compete.

So soon after the operation?

He's a very determined boy. And we've caught a disease at an early stage, so

we're hopeful.

How long has Max been in the wheelchair?

That's not Max. That's Philip.

Philip. He tried to parachute over the school roof.

That's Max. Over there. Come on, Doc.

Maybe Freeway can introduce us.

Max.

Hi, Peter. Did you see my blacktop?

Look, I think I found a co -pilot.

Well, he has had some flying lessons.

Oh, hi, Simone.

This is Jennifer and Jonathan Hart.

How do you do?

Good.

Why are you calling Simone Jennifer?

Because she is Jennifer. This is your bone marrow donor.

Your name is really Jennifer?

My name is really Jennifer.

You're going to save my life, Jennifer. Did you know that?

Well, I'm certainly going to try.

I'm going to blast off again. Can I take my co -pilot?

Sure. Come on, doggy. Here, boy. Come on. His name is Freeway.

Hey, Freeway. Come on, Freeway. Come on.

He's a very brave little boy.

Braver than you think.

He's an orphan.

I think we'd both like to spend a little more time with him.

Maybe we'll hang out here for a while.

I knew I'd find the right people.

Clinics? Bone marrow experiments?

You think I enjoy watching money that belongs to me tumbling into a buttermilk

pit? It doesn't matter. I am going home.

Not until you fulfill your bargain with me. Have you forgotten you signed this

paper? That was before I met him. Now I know him. He's a wonderful man.

I really care for him.

There is nothing more boring than listening to a tramp trying to develop a

conscience.

I will go to the police.

Oh, you will?

And what do you tell them?

You have the record for fraud.

Your signature is on this paper. And the local magistrate is my weekly chess

partner. You have two alternatives.

One, you can accept my offer of the money, or you can rot in a German

What will happen to Peter after the marriage?

What concern is it of yours?

One way or the other, he will be out of your life.

Oh, please don't be sad.

Five million dollars is a very effective vaccine against loneliness.

Well, what is it?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

I wonder what's keeping your twin.

Oh, Peter said she's always late.

Well, there's one difference.

I never had to wait for you.

Oh,

how sweet of you to remember it that way.

Except at the altar.

I thought you weren't going to bring that up again.

I just wanted everything to be perfect.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I'm late.

Please.

Our table, please.

Right away, Herr Donner.

Good evening, Fraulein Groh.

And to you, sir.

Thank you.

Fraulein Groh?

I really do have to meet that woman.

Unless things change drastically, Jennifer, that may never happen.

Amazing.

And I found this in my coat pocket when I went to pick her up at the hotel.

Unbelievable. Oh, she's having second thoughts about the wedding.

If I can read between the lines, she'll be back.

Do you know where she is?

No, no, and I'm running out of time.

Unless Simone and I show up for the prenuptial ball tomorrow night, it'll be

major embarrassment for my family. There are people coming from all over Europe.

Maybe you could postpone it.

Rain delay.

Rain delay?

Yeah, like baseball games.

Base, ball, ball.

Just a thought.

My cousin, Carl von Ostenberg, has arranged everything down to the last

This would be a major scandal that he couldn't live down. I can't embarrass

after all he's done for me.

There's that look. What look?

That transparent look that tells me exactly what you're thinking.

You couldn't possibly know what I was thinking.

She's thinking that you're such a nice man that maybe she could go to the ball

with you and pass herself off as Simone.

What a harebrained, far -fetched idea.

Ridiculous, isn't it?

Totally bizarre.

Is that what you thought I was thinking?

That's exactly what I thought you were thinking.

We'd never be able to pull that off.

Would we?

Not a chance.

But that is what you were thinking.

Something like that.

Something like that.

All right, exactly like that.

It is completely insane, of course.

But...

Whatever

happened to the good old days when all anybody wanted to borrow was a cup of

sugar?

The Donners and the Grows, both of us brought them together. But then the

families became estranged enemies, you know, like the Hatfields and the McCoys.

You think the British royal family has problems. Just wait.

My family makes the Windsors look like the Von Trapp family.

Grandfather desperately wanted to marry Ludmilla Grows, but she ran off with her

brother instead.

Her brother?

Yes. Grandfather was furious. So he drove the Grows out of business and out

the country. But on his deathbed, never having resolved the loss of his love, he

wanted to repent. So he put the money of both families into a trust, never to be

released until the Grows and the Donners married.

Your father didn't get the money?

My father was in an insane asylum.

You see, my mother had run off with the gardener, who was actually working for

the Groves. And when my mother found out that she was set up, she took some of

the Groves for a picnic in her car and drove them off the bridge.

Well,

I wouldn't worry about the money.

Geraldo or Sally Jessie would pay a fortune to have a guest like you.

Sally Jessie?

Television people.

So you don't control the trust?

No. My cousin, Carl von Ostenberg, does.

He's been very generous to me, but I've been losing a lot of money with the

clinic. And if this wedding doesn't happen, he may decide that he has to

down. How did you meet them all?

It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Carl. He was wonderful.

He took out advertisements.

He sent investigators out to look for a living grow, and he found her at Font

Prevance.

For a while, I wondered if I could marry someone that I didn't love

for the sake of the clinic. The answer was no.

But as luck would have it, there was Simone.

That's lucky, isn't it, darling?

Yes, and timely.

I'm sure she'll come to her senses, because we really do love each other,

know. That's why Jennifer's kind of... Look, Peter, let us sleep on it, would

you? Your hotel is just around the corner.

Good night.

And don't worry.

Don't worry.

Things will work out.

That's the most dysfunctional family I've ever heard of.

Isn't it?

It's a wonder Peter's so nice.

He is nice, isn't he?

That's why we should do this for him.

No, that's why something doesn't add up. What?

Well, Peter is a very bright, attractive guy.

Soon to be a very rich, bright, attractive guy.

So why wouldn't Simone want to marry him?

I don't know.

Could be dozens of reasons.

That's my point.

We don't know, Simone, who she is, what she wants, who her friends and enemies

are. You pretend to be her for just a few hours. Those friends and enemies

become yours.

Oh.

Now you're looking at me with that other look.

What other look? That look that tells me you're going to be stubborn about this.

Now that look, too.

What look?

That look that tells me that somehow this Cinderella is not going to the ball

without her prince.

You can bet your glass slippers on that. Uh -huh.

And you know what, Prince?

That's a me.

That should be Mr.

Jonathan Hart, an American businessman of considerable wealth and reputation.

It seems he wants to buy the Donner Brewery. All cash.

Uncle Peter's inheritance is in your name. You can't sell it to him legally.

I want you to go and show him in. Don't spare the charm. Lots of teeth.

And then I want you to go have a conversation with, what's her name?

Simone. Simone, yes.

Remember, if Simone doesn't marry Peter, you can't marry me.

Very fast. Out.

She's the sweetest little rosebud that Texas ever knew.

My,

my, my.

Not too shabby.

Not too shabby at all.

Mr. Hart, I'm Elsa.

How do you do?

We're honored to have such a distinguished guest.

Welcome to our little home.

You didn't have to go to all of this trouble for me.

I'm sorry, this is for our party tonight.

If I were decorating for you,

I'd start with me.

Whoa.

Carl is expecting you.

Mr. Hart, please.

Thank you, honey.

Son!

Carl von Ostenberg.

You can call me Jonathan, Carl.

Jonathan? I'm puzzled.

I must admit I've done a bit of snooping into your fast.

Is that a fact?

Yes. That brewery doesn't seem to fit even remotely into your mix of company.

Carl, do you know what the watchword is for the 90s?

Semiconductors. I wasn't aware of that.

Do you know what the new watchword is for the 21st century?

Yeah? Diversify.

Diversify.

Diversify. Diversify. And I intend to stay ahead of the game.

Well, in that case, let me invite you to examine the merchandise.

Don't mind if I do.

Prost. Whatever.

If the brewery is as good as the brew, then we do have something to talk about.

Good.

There is one small problem.

What's that?

I cannot sell the brewery for a few days. There are certain papers that need

be transferred. It will take perhaps a week.

Oh, Carl, that would put a twist in my shorts.

I don't plan on being in Munich that long.

Well, plans can change.

How can I entice you to stay?

You can't.

But that, uh...

Fraulein I met.

Oh, my cousin Elsa.

Cousin. Oh, many times removed.

Sorry to hear about that.

You see, my wife is not with me on this trip.

Oh, is he?

Well, in that case, why don't I put her next to you at my dinner tonight? Oh,

Carl.

Are you mixing business with pleasure?

I can only vouch for the business, but Elsa knows all about the pleasure, and

you can take my word for that.

We still have to get you a fake beauty mark and take a trip to the hairdresser,

but I've shown you most of Simone's favorite places, just in case someone

mentions it.

I can certainly see why this was one of them.

As Simone would say, I can see why this was one of them. A little softer.

I can see why this was one of them.

George, I think you've got it.

Oh, so beautiful.

Yes, Simone thought so as well.

This is where and when we first kissed.

Oh.

Peter, I'm not Simone.

Yes. Yes, of course.

Any woman would come back to a man who remembers their first kiss the way you

do.

Come on.

I'll be late for that hairdresser.

Jonathan, this is Dr. Detmeyer. She's heading up Max's operation.

How do you do?

Nice to meet you. This is Jonathan Hart, and that is freeway.

I thought maybe Max's co -pilot might cheer him up. I hope it's all right.

Well, it's not strictly sanitary, but perhaps just this once.

This is the first stage of his final test, and he told me he's scared.

He's never admitted that before.

Well, maybe a wagging tail is just what the doctor ordered.

Freeway!

Here's your co -pilot.

You ready for takeoff?

I don't want to go with them.

Doctor, would they excuse us for a moment?

Of course.

Wait, please.

What do you mean you don't want to go with them?

I don't want to go with them because I'm scared.

What do astronauts do when they see a cloud?

They fly right through them.

Right.

Why don't you think of this operation as a cloud?

And you're going to fly right through it and come out on the other side.

Like an adventure?

Like an adventure.

In the wild blue yonder. Hmm?

Okay.

You ready for blast -off?

Ready.

Ready for countdown.

Check.

Ten.

This is as far as you can go, Mr. Hart.

Only astronauts from this point on freeway.

Happy landings, Captain Max.

You still have not changed your mind?

Simone, time is rapidly running out for you.

If you do not live up to your bargain and marry Peter, I have no earthly youth

for you. Do you understand that?

Tonight, when Peter enters the ball without you, at the moment of his

humiliation, you will make your entrance.

You had a bad case of the nerves. You came to me, and I was able to effect a

joyful family reunion, yeah?

Don't forget to cry.

Yeah, good.

And by the way,

If you do not think that money can make you happy, well, you've never had enough

to know.

Five million dollars.

What's there to think about?

She walks like Simone?

Talks like Simone?

I can't wait to meet this woman.

and Countess Gois Ensenberg.

Howdy.

How you all doing?

Baron Gundogan and Lady Applegate.

Jonathan Hart.

Mr. Jonathan Hart.

Thank you, little pal.

Mr. Hart.

I believe we're seated next to each other at Carl's table.

Do you mind if I consider you my escort?

Well, even a blind hog can find an acorn now and then.

I beg your pardon?

I'd be proud.

Jonathan.

I see you found my lovely cousin, Alistair.

We sort of found each other.

And where I come from, we like to play finders keepers.

Mr.

Peter Donner.

Miss Simone Rowe.

What's the matter, Carl?

Something go down the wrong...

They sure do make a lovely couple.

Ah!

Oh, that woman!

Right now, she seems to be you.

Witch!

My beauty mark is itching. I think it's moving.

You're doing beautifully.

Here we go.

Carl and Elsa are at the end of the line. I've already told you everything

them. The first man you're going to meet is my cousin Helmut. He's going to

pinch you on the bottom, give you a bear hug, and you always kiss him on the

nose. I do?

One in every family.

Simone!

His audience is phenomenal.

Whoever she is, Aunt Edna will notice the difference.

Next is Aunt Edna.

She's your best friend in the family. The only one who approves of the clinic.

Kiss both cheeks. Aunt Edna!

Oh, you look wonderful.

Your hair.

My hair?

You've done something different.

I like

it, Simone.

You do?

Well,

we must have tea next week. I will tell you all my secrets.

Peter, darling, I hear you found a donor.

Who's a match to that young boy?

A perfect match, in fact. Everything's going to be just fine.

Bye -bye. We'll have lunch, won't we?

Simone, you look lovely.

Thank you, Carl.

Elsa, you look wonderful.

You've been working out again. It does wonder for your figure.

Thank you.

Simone.

You look like you've been working out, too.

I don't believe I've had the pleasure, Monsieur... Hart.

Jonathan Hart.

Well, and what brings you to Munich, Monsieur Hart?

A little business, a little pleasure.

Well, perhaps we'll be seeing more of you, Monsieur.

Hart, honey.

And you can count on it, Miss Grove.

That Simone woman is as pretty as Junebug.

True that. Yeah, yeah.

She's really remarkable.

Bring Simone down.

Postage woman as a fraud.

Not until I know why she is here.

Who is she?

What's Peter up to?

Is he on to us?

I am Walt since I've been in short pants.

Care to take a twirl?

Delighted.

Aunt Edna!

That Simone woman said you like to work out.

I'm a sucker for physical fitness.

I pence mostly.

How well do you swing it for Jonathan?

Well, where I come from, Elsa, that could mean several things.

We'll have to try another picnic soon.

Yes, it was wonderful.

Wasn't it?

Watching all the delicious food get soaked.

I thought it would never stop raining.

Raining?

I fell in the river.

And almost drowned.

Drowned? Yes.

I'm an excellent swimmer.

What's wrong with you, Simone?

Well, really, Owen, have you completely lost your sense of humor?

With your permission, Peter.

What about once around with the bride?

Of course.

Miss Grohl?

My pleasure.

Oh, I'm so glad you came along. I was about to blow it.

You're doing fine.

You're the belle of the ball.

Ah.

Elka seemed very attentive.

Like a predator in a waterhole.

Don't turn your back on her.

The night is young, Carita.

And as Valentino said, there's nothing like Tyre.

What are we going to do?

I've got an idea.

Yeah.

You got it back, but it's a couple inches too high. Uh -oh. Better try the

powder room.

That man.

He's the one who bugged me and tried to take my packages.

What's he doing here? Why is he talking to Elsa?

He's got some nerve.

She's my date.

May

I

help you?

I was looking for the men's room.

It's back there.

Take a right and a left.

Oh my.

A right and then a left.

Excellent directions.

Did the antique vases in this castle belong to you?

No.

Good.

Who was that man?

Someone who works for Carl.

He's got Simone locked up like the prisoner of Zenda.

She's all right, but she's understandably upset.

You must be mistaken, not Carl.

It's his castle and his merry men.

Well, I've got to settle this matter with Carl immediately. If you confront

Carl, then everyone will know that Jennifer is not Simone.

I can't just leave her alone up there.

And I'm not going to put my wife in danger.

But if Carl knows I'm not Simone, why hasn't he said anything?

They didn't expect you to be here.

Whatever they had planned, you are now in the way.

I hate being in the way.

What do we do now?

Well, they haven't exposed their hands, so we won't expose ours.

I trust you found your evening enjoyable.

I can't begin to tell you what I found tonight, Carl.

My, my.

I'm afraid I am exhausted from all this dancing.

Peter, would you take me home?

I think I'll push myself off, too.

No offense, folks, but champagne and jet lag has turned my brain to mush.

Be careful of the night air, Simone.

You might catch a death.

Of course.

Oh, Carl.

You are always thinking about someone else.

Are you going to let her just walk out of here?

Find out who she is.

To Simone.

An embarrassment of riches.

Now our only problem is to decide which one to kill.

Did anyone call? No one.

I'll try calling that detective agency again.

Maybe they're open by now.

Where could he have gone?

I don't know, but if you want to pick up a few colorful freighters in German,

try yelling freeway in the streets of Munich at five in the morning.

You might take that beauty mark off now.

I'm afraid I've grown attached to it.

Well, that's nice, darling, but...

I prefer you the way you were.

Still not in.

Actually, I can't.

Can't what?

Take it off.

You see, I was so desperate to keep it in place last night that I found some

crazy glue in a desk and I'm afraid I've welded it on.

Simone lives.

Look, we all bit off a little more than we could chew last night. Peter's a nice

man, but we didn't come all the way to Munich to get involved in an episode of

Family Feud.

We came here to save the life of a young boy.

But we can't just walk out on Peter.

And I'm partially responsible for the fixies, and it was my idea to go to the

ball. You wanted to help.

You always do. That's why I married you instead of Simone Gros.

Right now we have two priorities.

One to save young Max, and the other to find freeway.

I'll change.

Oh, poor Freeway, our little baby.

All alone in a strange city.

His little heart must be breaking.

Jennifer! I got your message at the hotel. I contacted a friend who runs a

walking club. She's going to get all of their members out looking for freeway.

Oh, Peter, that's so kind of you.

Well, between the police, the private eyes, the dog walkers, and us, it's just

matter of time.

Speaking of the police, what have you decided to do about Simone?

I didn't sleep one hour last night.

I almost called the police, and then I thought that the local tabloids would

turn this into a circus.

Why on earth?

Would Coral kidnap her? What could he possibly gain by it?

Well, he could stop the wedding.

That would prevent you from coming into a lot of money.

Yes, but it wouldn't become his money.

He merely administrates the trust.

Don't take this the wrong way, Peter.

Maybe she wasn't kidnapped.

Maybe they're both in on it somehow.

If that were true, why would he lock her up?

We have to find some way of getting her out of there.

Maybe we could sneak in through one of the secret passageways.

Secret passageways? Sure.

What secret passageways?

Oh, don't be silly. All those old castles have secret passageways.

In the movies.

Well, Jennifer is due at the hospital for some tests. I'm afraid you'll be

sedated for a couple of hours. We'll meet you there. And when Jennifer's

recovered, we'll all go out and visit Cousin Carl, come clean, lay our cards

the table, and demand an explanation.

What if he denies everything?

Simple.

Peter and I will keep him busy while you check the secret passageway.

Well, Peter's in.

I'll be there.

They all stick together, darling. He won't tell you a thing.

Let's try over there.

We'll find him, darling, I promise. But right now we've got to get you to

Peter's clinic.

Oh, just for a minute.

All right, only just for a minute.

He called her darling.

They're going to Peter's clinic.

You've heard something from that pair of doomcocks? I ordered a computer third

on Jonathan Hart.

And?

While we were busy congratulating ourselves, Mr.

and Mrs. Hart were making utter fools of us.

It seems Mrs. Hart is undergoing tests at Peter's clinic for the next few

Let's get rid of Simone.

Call the whole thing off.

She'll never keep a bargain anyway.

You're right.

She's even more untrustworthy than I am.

But thanks to the hard amateur theatric, I now have a choice.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Now, now, Simone.

We're only trying to help.

You bitch!

No!

No! Just relax.

Your long nightmare is over.

And Jennifer Hart has just begun.

You, no, don't come out!

You, don't! Stop right there!

Dr.

Gertigan, 2965.

Dr. Gertigan, 2965.

How you doing, Max?

Okay, I guess.

Just trying to fly through the cloud.

It's a pretty big one, isn't it?

Pretty big.

Max, I need you to help me.

Because I've never been through an operation like this either.

And I want to be just as brave as you were yesterday.

I'll help you, Jennifer.

You will?

Thank you.

You know, we had a very close friend named Max.

You did?

I met him when I was in an orphanage.

Just like you.

Really? Really.

And you remind us a lot of him.

I do?

Why?

Because he saved my life.

But in a very different way.

And he was the bravest and the sweetest man in the world.

Hello.

I don't believe you've met Jennifer Hart.

Hello.

God, that's incredible.

Yes, we know.

Really amazing, even the alignment of the front mandible.

First thing I noticed, too.

We'll be taking a core marrow sample from Jennifer as well as from that

chameleon.

We'll run them simultaneously for one final test of compatibility.

I should have looked at it with the LP.

Put that on her.

We'll find something to cover her face.

The boy's got to be taken to the O .R. right away.

Freeway, quick, hide!

Ready, Max?

Ready.

Okay, let's go then.

I'll be right here when you wake up.

Oh, you look more worried than I am.

I'm fine.

I've never been more proud of you.

I'm more in love with you than I am right now.

Wow.

I should have done this a long time ago.

Excuse me, sir. Have you seen a little dog running around?

What kind of a dog?

Many kinds.

About just those.

Where'd you see him last?

That little trespasser was getting on one of the elevators.

Where are you, little dog? Come out.

cold, wet nose anywhere.

Save the explanations for later.

Now, Jennifer.

I think it all went well.

If someone comes with a key, will you open the door?

Excuse me.

Come on.

Jonathan,

what are you doing? What is he doing in here? I'm not exactly sure, and he's not

talking. How's Jennifer?

It went beautifully. She's in recovery. Let's go.

You understand that Jennifer will be quite joggy for a while.

Freeway.

Freeway, will you come on? We're going to see Jennifer.

It all went very smoothly.

She just needs to sleep it off.

Darling, I'm here.

Would it be possible to take her back to the hotel? I'm sure she'd feel more

comfortable waking up there.

Well, it's a bit irregular.

But I don't see why not. She's in perfect health.

Freeway doesn't seem to think much of that idea.

I don't know what's gotten into him all of a sudden.

Freeway, will you pipe down?

Don't try to talk, darling.

Everything's going to be all right.

We're going home now.

Come on.

Freeway, come on.

Oh, Toto.

We're not in Kansas anymore.

No.

Just take it easy, darling.

The coffee's on the way up.

Let me explain. It all started when you called Mike Tyson a sissy.

Will you quit that freeway?

Ooh, let me give you a hint.

Oh, my God.

Ethan,

we have a problem.

Honeymoon dinner.

Ah, looking for a woman in pyjamas? Yes. How could I have guessed?

That way.

Where the hell is my wife?

Don't be afraid to look over the side.

You're missing the view.

When my husband hears about this... Your husband?

I'm off to see him as soon as we land.

I intend to ask him for his cooperation, and I'm going to need yours too.

Go to hell.

Do you know what a body looks like after it drops a thousand feet?

It'll drop you in the water.

Make you disappear forever, yeah?

As far as going to hell, there is no doubt.

But only after I get what I want.

Concierge, please.

This is Jonathan Hart. I'll need a car right away.

It's open.

Thank you.

Jonathan, this is too fantastic.

Do you remember when Jennifer was joking about a secret pathway to the castle?

Well, there is one. I found these old architectural drawings in the family

archive. There it is.

Don't bother.

We're going back to the castle, all right, but we're going through the front

door.

Jennifer, I see you're feeling better.

That's not Jennifer.

I hope you do.

Simone.

Are you all right? I mean, what happened?

Where's Jennifer?

Carl has her.

What? Somehow they switched them both at the clinic.

What is going on here?

Tell him, Simone.

It's time you told him everything.

I love you, Peter.

That is why what I'm going to say is so much more difficult.

When Carl found me in Provence, I was in trouble.

I was broke.

I was once in prison for fraud.

Carl offered me an arrangement.

An arrangement?

I was supposed to come here, make you fall in love with me and marry you.

But I had to sign a contract that if anything happened to you, all my

inheritance would go to Carl.

Your inheritance?

He was going to pay me five million dollars.

I don't understand.

If you inherit money from me, you'd be dead.

Probably killed in some accident that Carl arranged.

I'm sure he'd volunteer to deliver the eulogy at your funeral.

Oh, my God.

Peter, I didn't realize what Carl was going to do.

Or maybe I didn't want to realize it. And I didn't know you. I didn't care for

you.

But then I met you.

And I fell in love with you, Peter. I really did.

I told Carl I couldn't go through with it.

Do you love me now?

Oh, Peter.

I've only caused you trouble.

That's not what I asked.

Yes.

I'll be right down.

That's Carl. He's in the bar.

I believe my friend is a connoisseur of beer.

Nothing, thank you.

Before you say a word, if you've done anything to harm my wife,

you know I'll kill you.

Jonathan, such needless animosity.

We each have problems. I thought we could work together to solve them.

Spit it out, Carl.

All right.

When I first went to France to find this Simone Gros, I discovered she was a

hustler, specializing in defrauding wealthy men.

At first, I didn't even want to.

Tell Peter she existed.

I have a deep affection for my cousin.

I didn't want to see him hurt.

There's a violinist playing outside.

Perhaps I could arrange for him to stand behind you.

The deal I struck with Simone was for Peter's own protection.

She's a common criminal. I could not let her get her hands on all that money.

The temptation for her to do harm to Peter would be too powerful.

Yeah? Let me get this straight.

She's the potential killer?

I constructed what I thought was a foolproof agreement.

If the marriage was happy, well, all well and good.

But if something happened to Peter, his money would never be her money.

No, it would be yours.

That is convenient, isn't it?

I have looked after this inheritance for decades.

I have guarded Peter's interest.

I have paid it to him. Do you think I'm going to let some two -bit fortune

hunter destroy all this, do you?

I don't believe a word you've said, Carl.

And I don't give a damn what the hell happens to you. I want my wife back.

Now.

I do not know where she is.

Then you're a dead man.

Somehow, I have the high confidence that you will find her safe

and unharmed.

As soon as the wedding of Peter and Simone is consummated.

Yeah?

Peter is in love. You don't have to convince him.

And as far as Simone is concerned, I think someone as successful as you are

be quite persuasive when properly motivated.

So, I have saved a seat of honor for you at the wedding.

Please, do not disappoint me.

Or Jennifer.

I know this is the right place. It's the east side of the castle.

I mean it's got to be here somewhere.

There it is.

The Donner family must have put on a few pounds over the years. I can't get

through there, neither can you.

I can.

Darling, you can't go back in there. Besides, according to the plan, there

several exits inside the castle. If you choose the wrong one... I know where

they kept me.

I will try there first.

I hope there are no... Spiders.

I hate spiders.

Lucky for us, there's no spiders in Germany.

What are you talking about? Of course there are spiders in Germany.

Just checking.

Amazing.

Fantastic.

Can you open that again?

I think so.

The control is behind the Shakespeare.

Shakespeare.

Shakespeare.

There is no Shakespeare.

Multiplied? By granites?

It's no use, Simone.

Just get into that wedding dress and no one will get hurt.

Which one of us are you talking to?

Yes.

Which one of us are you talking to?

Very clever.

But you've forgotten one important detail, Mrs. Hart.

On your photograph, there was no beauty mark.

Ow!

Sorry, Simone.

Nice try, Mrs. Hart.

Now get into that dress.

Mrs. Hart's life depends on it. I'll be back.

No one ever knew that wasn't real.

No one ever asked.

Why you don't take Aunt Edna for a glass of champagne? It's a beautiful hat,

Harry. Take it quick.

I have a little news for you.

Simone looks stunning in her wedding dress. And by the way, Mrs. Hartnett's

boat, too.

Aunt Edna, wait for me!

I'll prompt you on, Mr. Hart.

I wouldn't miss it for the world if it means getting Jennifer back.

You remember the other day you advised me to diversify?

Quite prophetic, Mr. Hart. I am now holding both women.

Don't worry, Mr. Hart.

I have found the real Simone.

And if things continue to go smoothly without interference, you will find the

real Jennifer.

I stay for a wedding.

Well, we tried.

If you wouldn't mind, Jonathan.

Now more than ever, I need a best man.

Party is a picture.

You're about to become a very wealthy woman for a while.

Take it downstairs.

I have some business to conduct with Mrs. Hart.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join these two

people in holy wedded matrimony.

I'm truly sorry about all this, Mrs. Hart.

If only you hadn't tried to interfere.

Elsa, you are making a terrible mistake.

Carl will be furious.

Will you stop that fake accent?

Your final word should be in your own voice.

Elsa, when we first met you, you were wearing a scarf that was given to you by

your grandmother.

We went to lunch at the Extra Blatt. You were very sick.

Listen to me, Elsa.

Right now, downstairs, Peter is marrying Jennifer Hart.

Amy! Help me!

No! Leave me right there! Kill her!

If there's anyone here...

Who has just cause as to why these two people should not be bound together in

holy matrimony. Let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.

Will I object?

I cannot marry this man.

Because I'm already married.

To this man.

I'll never forget you.

I'll be right back.

Me too.

Sir Hart, prepare to defend yourself.

Don't cough.

I'm dead now.

You?

Mm -hmm.

Out of the way, Rocky.

Hmm.

Now, let me see. The face is familiar.

Let me figure this out.

Caramel.

Doral.

Speaking of familiar faces, how are we going to get rid of that beauty mark?

Just throw me to a hot tub and some clean sheets and you can figure it out.

If there is anyone here who has just cause as to why these people should not

be bound in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Why is everyone looking at me?

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Yes!

Jennifer?

Yes, ma 'am?

I told you you were going to save my life.

Yes, and we're going to take very good care of that life.

Mrs. Strauss?

Another freeway!

We thought you needed a permanent co -pilot.

Oh, wow.

Well, Peter?

It's been an experience.

Simone?

I feel as if I'm saying goodbye to myself.

If it had to be someone, Jennifer, I'm glad it was you.

Amazing.

That must be the car to take us to the airport.

Mr. and Mrs. Hart, you have plenty of time to get to the airport before your

plane leaves.

Yeah.

What is lost?

Lost?

Nothing.

You know, it's such a nice day. Why don't we just walk to the airport?

What a good idea, darling.

I'm right behind you all the way.