All language subtitles for THE Batman - S05 E08 - The Metal Face of Comedy (720p - HMax Web-DL)

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Original subtitles

Whoosh.

So, this is what Captain Slash plans

to use to destroy the city.

Nightwing. You again?

Slash!

When will you learn you can't play at my level?

- Hyah, whoa! - Aah!

Man, Slash nailed me again.

- 'Nightwing?' - My Internet game character.

'Cool, huh?'

But not as cool as him.

I bet the real Slash is one totally awesome..

Dude, take your Nightwing and give it a rest.

'Slacker, are you playing video games?'

Well, uh..

'Or are you purposely not controlling'

these bank robbers in a box?

He had them working in rehearsal.

Ooh! Ah, hon, we can still rob the bank without them.

I'm not in the mood now.

Mmm.

But I am in the mood to do something else.

Oh, pudding, give him a chance.

Martin's got lots of ideas.

Uh, yeah, dude, this one's totally cool.

A video game helmet I modified.

Video game?

Boys, dinner is served.

That lets you mentally download money out of a bank

into your own secret account.

Hmm? Mentally download money?

Now, there's a video game worth playing.

'I know I called you last minute'

'but I wanted you to be the first to see this.'

Bruce, we're not here to watch stupid dog tricks, are we?

No. Because that's not a dog.

'And it's not a trick.'

It's the latest in nanobot technology.

Whoosh.

'Not only have we been able to give each tiny robot'

'its own flight sustainable motor'

'but also the ability to magnetically bond together.'

'Their interdependent programming enabled them'

to form any solid shape.

And they can even self-replicate.

Gentlemen, you are witnessing a leap in technology

so great that..

Uh, I can't even finish talking about it.

Davis, take over.

Enjoy the afternoon nap, kiddies.

While those of us on the cutting edge of technology..

Explore new ways to rip you off.

Let's see if this baby works.

Accessing account for withdrawal.

Ha ha ha!

Ding.

Ha!

Transfering cash to secure account.

No keys, no vaults, no combinations.

Just mind over moolah!

Look, ma. No hands!

And no future.

Thud Hyah, ha!

Spoilsports.

Boom crash.

Captain Slash's lightning insignia?

Harley, what happened to your hair?

Why are you wasting breath on that crummy impostor

when the real McCoy is right here?

A digital Joker?

When this thing short-circuited

it must have transmitted a duplicate Joker into the system.

Hmm?

If that's true, then..

Try and cuff me now, Batsy. Ha ha ha!

I will. You're not leaving this computer.

Slacker! Slacker, download me, now!

Ha!

At least, we've still got the real Joker.

A digital Joker could be just as dangerous.

Let's get the original one to the hospital.

Dude, you've gone cyber.

How totally cool is that!

My idea of cool is not spending the rest of my life

as a screen saver!

You're making Marty feel bad.

He'll figure a way out. Right, Marty?

I've heard of something new in town that might help you

but we'll need a diversion to access it.

Hidey ho, Gotham! And welcome to HD Joker TV.

Let me ask you all, does this high-def make my hips look big?

He's broken into every major system.

This antivirus program should flush him out.

Nice try, Batsy, but that just tickles.

He must be transmitting himself from a system

I haven't accounted for.

Like maybe inside a game system.

Here. Let me.

Yeah. He's in the game.

Slacker, how long does it take to break into that lab?

Dude, I'm almost in.

WayneTech.

That's where he's going.

Joker's been diverting us from his real plan.

But he can't carry it out if he's deleted.

Nightwing?

You should pick better company, Captain.

Whoosh.

Slacker!

I'm in.

Zapping.

Huh? Ooh. Hmm. Yeah.

Ooh! I feel like a million bucks.

Thud thud Still behind glass!

Joker, you're not thinking outside the box.

Use your head.

Boom.

That was a no-brainer.

Huh?

Ooh, look who's arrived at my coming out party.

The party's over, Joker.

Oh, no, Batsy. It's just getting started.

I'm guessing the only thing worse than a digital Joker

is a nanobot Joker.

Medical report, stat!

Y-you had a bad accident. Y-you're a very sick man.

Flattery won't save you.

Consider me an outpatient.

Daddy's home.

Dude, it worked.

Hate to admit it but you finally did something right.

Sorry, boys, he's off the menu..

'...for now.'

Don't take it wrong, hon

but a boyfriend who's a collection of itty-bitty robots

is kind of weird.

I'll have you know I'm the greatest version of Joker

there's ever been.

Joker 2.0.

More like a bad joke, minus one.

Ah, I should have known I'd show up.

Pudding? Real pudding?

Tapioca.

I'm not even going to ask

since I'm sure this is one of your snafus.

Huh! Am I really that ruggedly handsome?

Peek-a-boo! Ha ha ha!

Ugh!

I can't stay mad at myself.

Let's work together.

Let's get this show on the road.

Huh? Aah! Unh!

Hey! Wait!

Open the gate, Slacker.

Deactivating main gate.

Whoosh.

Show-off!

'The gem depository.'

Gotta be Joker.

But which one?

Vroom.

Ugh! You gotta help me brother.

Gladly. I'll forward your mail to Gotham prison.

Attention, old Joker, version 1.0.

Whoosh Mission accomplished.

- But where's pudding, pudding? - Ugh!

Okay, kiddies, let's roll.

Hold it! Not without the real real me.

Ew! Creepy.

Dude, where'd you get the extra nanobots to do that?

I made them myself. Just one of my tricks.

No. Aah!

Zapping We have some too.

Aah!

That's it, Batsy. Give him the old shock and awe.

Poof.

Turncoat.

Lovely night for a drive. Hit the gas!

Vroom Excuse me, Batsy.

I have some unfinished business to attend to.

Beep vroom.

Ugh, uh.

Am I getting bigger or is the Batmobile getting smaller?

- This isn't the Batmobile. - Correctamundo!

It's the new nanobot Batmobile.

A compact version gets better gas mileage.

Don't you think?

Whoosh.

- What made it disintegrate? - An electromagnetic pulse.

It can temporarily deactivate the nanites.

Huh?

If Nano Joker can keep multiplying how do we stop him?

We stall until we can bring in something bigger to match him.

Alfred, I'm gonna need an item from the cave.

Vroom.

License, registration... Joker.

Huh? Ugh, uh!

Whoa. Cool fake-out.

Whose side are you on?

Sorry, pudding, but you gotta admit

pudding 2.0 really rocks.

Gotta go with the upgrade, dude.

This is going to hurt me more than it is... me.

Joker... put the Joker down.

You can't fool me twice, Batsy. I've given myself an upgrade.

Whoosh.

Let me give you the bigger picture.

With my self-replicating talents I'll tear Gotham down

and turn it into my own nanobot version.

Joker City!

The only thing it'll be missing..

Swoosh

is you.

Whoosh.

Aah!

Uh, huh?

When you send for bigger help, you mean it.

Good timing, Alfred. I'll take it from here.

Yo, big bully!

You didn't have to destroy my old pudding.

Never delete the master copy, dude.

On the contrary, if certain master copies don't keep in line

I may delete them too. Do you hear me?

Hear this.

Boom Ha ha! That's giving him a mouthful!

Batsy, you in there? Come out and play.

Okay. Let's play.

Zap Ugh!

Looks like I'm going to need some filler.

Aah!

Thud.

Shocking, isn't it?

Aah!

Yes, it is.

Oh, pudding.

Wait for us.

We're with you, uh, again.

I'll get better mileage without traitors!

Thud thud thud.

You're all traitors.

Pow.

Aah!

Whoosh whoosh.

It's a wrap for real Joker and his posse.

Pew pew pew.

He's getting inside the cockpit.

It's all your fault, you game freak.

You're Captain Slash?

Batman, if digital Joker was downloaded into the nanobot

from a video game, maybe he can be uploaded

out of the nanobots and back into the game.

Brilliant, dude, but you'll need a stronger signal

'than the one on that laptop.'

Transfer the signal to this.

Whoosh zap

crash.

How did I get back in here?

And who are you?

Nightwing.

And it's game over.

Aw, pudding, at least, we got our family back together again.

And Marty has even more ideas.

I wonder if The Penguin has these staffing problems.

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