Original subtitles

Ever since bat breath got that signal

my lead time's been chopped in half.

Hurry, ladies, hurry!

That's it. Put your backs into it!

'Careful!'

'That Penguin's pure crystal.'

whoosh What's that?

Oh, no.

The statue, Penguin.

Give it up.

Actually it would be more fun

if he makes us take it from him.

Don't look so surprised. You knew I'd be back.

'I heard you got some backup, Batman'

but no one told me it was your baby sister!

Waa ha ha ha ha ha!

Chop 'em into chum!

Aah!

Waa ha ha ha ha!

Whoa.

When do I get one?

Watch them.

Swoosh.

You get to do all the fun stuff.

Alright. Keep the statue.

Batman.

Waa ha ha ha ha!

Swoosh.

Yes, he's alright.

It's just you and me, girls.

Huh?

No.

'Master Bruce.'

- Alfred? - Ah, you know my name.

Then it would seem that nasty bump

has caused no memory loss.

What happened?

Virtually no memory loss.

I'm afraid that your latest nocturnal escapade

went somewhat awry, Master Bruce

but some bed rest shall do you good.

No. No can do, Alfred.

It'll be dark soon and, well, you know me.

I can't wait to tackle the night.

Ah, yes, yes. The night which belongs to The Batman.

The Batman?

The night belongs to Bruce Wayne.

I'd know that look of yours anywhere, pop.

'You're about to raise the roof on this place.'

So, commissioner, this must be your lovely daughter.

Brucie! Where have you been hiding?

Ha. Got to run.

Bruce Wayne, he's the man.

I'll get us some punch, Barb.

Bruce Wayne is the man.

Muscles on his muscles

rich enough to finance all his gadgets..

'...and has a jaw I'd know anywhere.'

Brucie, you are so totally The Batman.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Gotham music awards.

'The next band soared to success'

'with six gold records.'

Give it up for..

"Ozzy and the Cobblepots?"

♪ Oh yeah ♪

Penguin.

Alright, Bruce.

Showtime.

Crash.

You know, I prefer a captive audience!

'Cash, gold, jewelry..'

your money's all good here.

I hope the Batman shows.

So do I.

Don't tell me you're gonna change under here?

Let's not play hero, commissioner.

I'll leave that to the Batman.

Bat Guano won't be showing up tonight.

Or ever again.

Yeah, right.

- What? - That's right, Gordy.

I personally took care of him.

'Hello.'

Well, well, well.

If it isn't my old pal Bruce Wayne.

Click Huh?

Forget that junk!

'We've got Wayne'

the human piggy bank!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Swoosh.

Okay, so maybe he's not The Batman.

Sorry, hon, duty calls.

Now, as soon as those doors open what are you gonna do?

Go home, lock up and wait till I hear from you.

Good girl.

Penguin's ride had to leave a heat trail

and with a few items from

Barbara Gordon's photography class.

Voila.

'Huh?'

caw caw caw caw Aah!

Don't you just love Gotham zoo at night?

No crowds.

Clink.

Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

Name your price, Penguin.

I'll cut you a check.

One with lots and lots of zeros.

Oh, that's very reasonable of you, Wayne.

How do I know this is good?

I need to see some I.D.

Maybe Wayne didn't have his costume handy

but he's got to bust out with some butt kick now.

So you'll let me go?

Ah, yeah, about that.

I lied!

Huh?

The Bat-brat!

Oh, ladies.

Ahh. Hurry, Mr. Wayne.

Get yourself to..

Safety.

I thought he was The Batman?

Wayne's no loss

not when I have the chance to exterminate

this town's bat population once and for all!

Waa ha ha ha ha ha!

You just left behind the kid who saved you.

Bruce, you're a coward.

'Gotham police.'

It's been two hours.

Shut it off.

Sir, I'm a bit perplexed

as to why you did not summon your other car.

And why did you not trounce that troll

when he crashed the event in the first place?

Because he's a homicidal troll, Alfred?

And how, I ask, is that different from the garbage.

The Batman faces every night?

Well, unfortunately The Batman wasn't at the party

so I couldn't ask him.

I mean, what was I supposed to do

take Penguin out with my golf swing?

Oh, dear.

Your accident.

'We must return to the mansion at once.'

They say that seeing is believing, Master Bruce.

Whoa.

The Batcave.

How did all this get down here?

You built it, sir.

Well, that-that, that's ridiculous.

I'm wealthy. I run a successful company. I..

Why would I wanna go out at night..

Dressed..

Like a bat?

Because you have a need to save people.

No. No. Not me.

I'm not a hero.

I don't have that kind of courage.

Your courage seems to have gone missing

with your memory of the Bat.

This just in.

Mmm! Penguin here.

With a warning to any future bats in training.

I started the week by getting rid of The Batman.

And now I'm finishing it by doing the same

'to the Batgirl.'

So tune in at the stroke of midnight

for the final chapter of

the beak beats the Bat!

Waa ha ha ha ha!

Master Bruce, it's the clock

at the Salty Bird Sardine company.

Sir, I do not know how else to put this.

The Batgirl is counting on you.

Perhaps it is time to regain your courage.

'Perhaps it is time to channel your inner bat.'

clank No. Sorry.

Not feelin' it.

'Sir!'

'Jolly good reflexes.'

Alfred, h-how did I..

Apparently your inner bat is just aching to fly out.

'Hopefully this will be like riding a bicycle.'

'Observe, my dear.'

'An ostrich egg.'

Hard as bone.

Waa ha ha.

Gong

cuckoo

splat Huh.

Heh..

'Waa ha ha ha ha ha!'

'Tie her up, ladies!'

Inner bat, do your thing.

Batman? You're supposed to be pushin' up clams.

Well, if he's here to save Batgirl

it's too late.

Whoa.

Uh-oh.

Huh!

Unh! Uh! Ya!

I'm guess those weren't the smoke pellets.

Gong.

Wa ha ha ha ha ha!

Cuckoo.

Hurry, Batman. You're about to have three sidekicks.

Ha ha ha ha!

Yeah! What kind of hero are you anyway?

You're a coward.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Regain your courage.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

What kind of hero are you anyway?

Smack.

Like riding a bicycle.

So that's what took you so long?

You rode your bike?

Oh, no.

Oh! Uh!

Huh?

Get this cuckoo to Arkham where he belongs.

At least you didn't turn out to be Bruce Wayne.

Dude needs to invest in a serious spine.

I try not to judge.

Just tell me that one day

I'll get to meet the man behind the Bat.

Who says I'm a man?