Original subtitles

- Coming through, sir. - Take a load off, Alfred.

Jolly good, then.

Oh, dear. I trust Master Bruce did pay the cable bill.

Good evening, Gotham!

Joker.

It's me, your most underrated entertainer.

'Oh, how I've tried to make you all laugh'

but I'm not feelin' the love, people.

Every time I bring my brand of funny to Gotham

the only sound I hear is..

But who can blame you?

You're all glued to your idiot boxes.

'And since the media chooses to focus'

'on the tragic side of my crime career..'

it seems some hilarious counterprograming is in order.

So stay tuned for my brand-new sitcom..

' "..Me And The Mayor!"'

What happens when you team the crazy crime clown

with Gotham's very own Mayor Grange?

Can't miss comedy, folks.

And it premieres tonight on my very own private network.

JTV just as soon as I abduct my co-star.

Shall I tape it for you, sir?

♪ The Batman ♪

Next time Joker decides to target the mayor

I'll drive.

Sorry, partner

but Cash Tankinson always drives.

Does Cash Tankinson always wear sunglasses at night

and speak in third person? Just curious.

Yeah, chief warned me you'd resent the new guy, so..

I'm your first since what's-his-name, huh?

Bennett. His name was Ethan Bennett.

A real shame Joker went and turned him into clay-face

but Cash Tankinson don't melt so easy.

I'm the last partner you'll ever need, Yin.

I somehow doubt that.

Vroom.

What kind of nut announces his crimes

before he commits them?

Joker has to be kidding

if he thinks he could get past Gotham PD.

Joker's not kidding, mayor.

H-h-he's joking!

What's wrong with you?

He's joking.

- Joker? - 'It's The Joker!'

Get ready for your close-up, Mr. Mayor.

On the floor, clown boy!

Cash Tankinson's kickin' butt and takin' names!

Stop! Ha-ha, stop!

Such classic dialogue!

What deadpan delivery!

'You are hee-haw-larious!'

'Ever consider acting? You're good.'

Clown boy, you're goin'..

Down?

My card. We'll do lunch.

Thank you, Punch.

Judy, chop-chop.

Joker and The Batman.

Sweet.

Tankinson!

Tankinson, wait up! Oh!

Thud The Batman?

My biggest fan.

Punch, run this out to him, please.

Bam vroom.

Judy, I think this is our turn.

Screech.

Hm, might have a better chance losing him

in something sportier.

Screech.

Happy trails, sparky!

Crash

vroom screech.

Say hello to Cash Tankinson..

The detective who finally arrests The Batman.

- Look, the mayor's in... - Hey, I didn't vote for him.

I can't let the two new men in my life meet like this.

Nice work, Yin.

Just whose back do you got, anyway?

You ditched me!

I always watch my partner's back.

Vroom.

- 'Sir.' - Anything good on the tube?

The Gators are trailing miserably.

'So are we, but I have the feeling'

'Joker's about to announce his next move.'

Quite astute you are, sir.

"Me And The Mayor" is about to premiere.

Help! Someone help me! Please!

Oh, why the long face, Mairzy Doats?

Let me go, you maniac!

Don't you fret, I have just the thing

to turn your frown upside down.

No. Stop!

I-I have a family.

Why is Joker engaging in this ghastly business?

It isn't just for the laughs.

Ahh, I know that look.

You have another get-rich-quick scheme

don't you?

Bank robbery? That's crazy!

So crazy it might just work.

You're right again, sir.

Joker is shooting on location

at Main Street Bank.

Oh, Punch!

Hey, the mayor and I are gonna rob the old bank.

Wanna come?

Now, didn't we all learn an important lesson today?

That's right.

With a positive attitude

and a smile maybe, just maybe

we can all get along!

Tune in to JTV tomorrow night

for a new series and a new co-star.

Detective Shades!

Bring it on, clown boy!

You mess with the bull, you'll get the horns.

If you let this get personal

it will impair your ability to do your job.

Hey, come on, Yin, doesn't some part of you

wanna slap that grin off of Joker's face?

At least for Burnett?

Bennett.

I'm not losing another partner to this madman.

As your senior officer

I'm ordering you into a police safe house.

What? Police protection?

Cash can take care of Cash.

Fine, then Cash will take care of Cash

off-duty and out of sight

'until we bring Joker down!'

Well, good luck handlin' that lunatic all by yourself.

And since Cash doesn't think you can..

Cash will.

'Chasing down Joker's hit-and-run camera crew'

'isn't getting Mayor Grange back any quicker'

but if the crime clown's pirating a broadcast signal

maybe we can trace it to its source.

And if we can pre-empt JTV

we have a chance of drawing Joker out.

Speak of the devil.

The frequency's locked on. Tracing it.

And the lummox would be..

Yin's new partner.

He's been set up and he doesn't even know it.

Tankinson?

Oh! I told you to stay away from Joker.

Tankinson, get out of there, it's a trap!

I tracked clownie here.

He's mine.

If you've found Joker, it's only because he wanted you to.

'He's broadcasting you live, right now!'

I'm on TV?

Well, I hope clownie's out for some cash

'cause it's payday, baby.

Freeze!

Suave sleuthing there, Shades

but just who do you think's filming you?

Oh, no.

Any trace, sir?

'I may not need it.'

I know where they are.

Good evening and welcome.

We're here to raise money

for a very special cause.

Saving Detective Shades' life!

You see, Gotham, if you can't pony up

one million dollars in donations to me..

The detective's toast.

So what say we open our hearts

'and our checkbooks'

'for our dear friend here?'

We just received $50 from Grandma Shades.

She says "Please don't harm my grandson

I beg you."

Human compassion at its finest.

Okay, time to roll those numbers!

Oh! Looks like a lost cause.

Maybe it's best we just put this pup down.

What-what are you doin'? No!

Stop, stop. No! No!

Thud.

'Sir.'

All frequencies running to and from

the six active television transmitters

here in Gotham have been traced

but there wasn't a pirate frequency among them.

Active? Then maybe Joker's using an oldie but goodie.

Of course.

'The abandoned Gotham Radio King Tower.'

Now, why would you want to pull the plug on JTV

when we've been such a ratings smash?

Gotham's been riveted to their sets

but once again, no one's laughing!

Maybe it's you, Joker. Maybe you're just not funny.

It's the viewing public who doesn't have a sense of humor

but I have just the thing to make 'em laugh

die laughing, in fact!

Lights!

'Dispensers of Joker gas'

scattered throughout the city

and through the beauty of wireless

they've been set to empty their chuckle-inducing contents

during the course of my next transmission.

And with the city dying of laughter

it'll be yours to plunder.

You betcha, Batsie!

I was going to activate them during a ratings stunt

'when I write these two tired characters off the show.'

But now, what could make

more compelling TV than..

Joker versus The Batman?

Poof.

'Tonight on "The Joker.."'

'...will Batman defeat our charismatic star'

'in time to save the hostages?'

'Will Joker finally take control of Gotham once and for all?'

'To find out, stay tuned.'

Same Joker crime same Joker channel!

Poof.

Don't worry, I promise a fair fight.

And by fair, I mean, totally stacked in my favor.

Come on, Batsie, smile for the camera!

Ew!

If he stops the signal, he'll stop the gas!

Don't let him reach the top of the tower!

I have one partner down and one who might need backup.

Poof.

Ah, music to my ears.

Just a few more deep breaths, Gotham.

I-I don't, I don't get it.

Oh.

What happened?

What was so funny?

Ooh, he can't win! This is my show!

Guess I'll have to settle with being the sore loser.

Sorry, but JTV's cutting all ties

with you two has-beens.

Thud.

Joker, you've been canceled.

So have they.

Snap.

No! Ugh!

Appreciate the backup.

Speaking of, I'm not the only cop

who followed your television exploits.

'While Gotham citizens are recovering tonight'

after minor exposure to Joker gas

the rescued hostages, Mayor Grange

and Detective Cash Tankinson are listed in good condition

thanks to an antidote believed to be left behind by The Batman.

I hate TV. Oh!

Detective Ellen Yin recommends

refraining from excess chitchat

if Cash wants to be back on the street anytime soon.

About that, Yin it, uh, doesn't look like

we'll be workin' together anymore.

I, uh requested a transfer to a desk job

need a break from the action.

Really?

Probably just as well.

'I prefer a strong, silent partner.'

♪ The Batman ♪