Original subtitles

Heh heh heh heh.

Yes, my pretties.

Show me the money!

Heh heh heh heh.

Huh? Huh?

Zap zap zap.

Sorry to rain on your parade, Penguin.

Heh. I'm always prepared for inclement weather.

Chop-chop, Batman. Waah!

A Bat without wings? Heh heh heh heh.

Vroom.

Aah!

Oh! Ow! Whoa! Aah! Uhn!

Yeech. Huh. What?

Back to your cage, Penguin.

Not before we rattle yours.

"We?"

Unh. Ah!

♪ The Batman ♪

For once, I have got to pull a job some place that Batman isn't.

Huh? Stop the car!

'He's known by many labels.'

'Billionaire, philanthropist, socialite.'

'But who is the real Bruce Wayne?'

You.

'Despite a larger-than-life public persona'

'Bruce Wayne has privately managed to remain... a mystery.'

Baah!

'Join me, Melanie Bramwell'

for the first-ever in-depth interview

with Gotham's most-eligible bachelor

next Tuesday at 9:00 on "A Day In The Life.."

If there's anyone I despise more than the Batman

it's Wayne! He's got looks and money.

Yes, money.

Wayne's money.

Oh, it's about time, Master Bruce.

The television people will be here any moment.

You sure I have to go through with this, Alfred?

Need I remind you, it's vitally important

that you cultivate your public image.

But Melanie Bramwell has a reputation

for making private lives a little too public.

I could be flirting with disaster.

Yes, well, unfortunately, avoiding the press

only piques their curiosity.

Oh, fine. When is this thing supposed to start?

"A Day In The Life.." From breakfast to bedtime.

Heh.

You... are gonna edit this part out right?

Don't count on it.

I pride myself on catching my subjects off-guard.

After all, I'm here to get to know the real Bruce Wayne.

- Nice digs. - Roomy.

Well, wait till you see my office.

I'll show you the rest of the mansion after dinner.

To Wayne Industries, then.

Ah, it's hours until dinnertime.

Coming! Coming.

Back so... Soon?

Longtime no see, jeeves.

Blast.

Buzz.

'Ooh, it's getting dark.'

Good thing I brought my evening jacket.

And since my little birdies cut phone and power

we won't have any interruptions

while we catch up, old chum.

- Heh! - Huh!

Now, where is Old Brucie?

Master Bruce is in the city

on very important business.

Ya, runway for us, Bruce.

You see, bold colors project

such an aura of confidence for Mr. Wayne.

Wish I had a personal stylist.

Then while we await Brucie's return

you and I are gonna have some fun.

Ah-eee!

I must insist that you leave the premises at once.

Without settling scores with Wayne?

Nah!

Bulls-eye! I mean, bird's-eye.

But what has Master Bruce ever done to you?

Oh, nothing, nothing, really

except own everything that should rightfully belong to me!

I am from noble blood.

The Cobblepots were once the toast of society!

I am a Cobblepot!

Huh?

Eh, what's cooking?

Ooh, now we're talkin'.

The perfect crime... dinner and a burglary.

Oh, jeevesie.

Your roast is overcooked.

- What you got there, jeeves? - What? Nothing?

Giving Old Brucie a jingle, huh?

Good idea.

'Wayne industries contains over a dozen separate divisions'

including electronics, engineering

and biomedical research. And it's all cutting-edge.

'And it's all yours at the ripe old age of 26.'

Oh, would you excuse me for a moment?

Wayne.

'Guess who, Brucie!'

- Sheila. - Huh? No, it's Penguin.

Is this 555-43... Oh, of course I remember.

Bruce Wayne never forgets a pretty voice.

I'm home with jeeves and he wanted me to tell you

dinner's getting cold.

For you, sugar, I'd drop anything.

And no police, or the Butler gets it. Get it?

Beep.

That's a rap. I, uh, have a friend in need.

No problem. The camera loves drama.

Sorry, Mel. Where I'm going, cameras are strictly off-limits.

What now?

Dinner.

Top floor, ugly furniture, tacky artwork, bad Feng Shui.

Time to redecorate the bachelor pad.

Waah! Oh. Huh? Whazzat?

I say, it's the Batman.

What? How'd you find me this time?

It's what I do.

Grr..

Hello? Anyone home? Hello?

Your power's out.

Alfred, is that you?

Batman.

Go, before you get hurt.

Oh, dear.

Well, now, what have we here?

Don't harm us, Mr. Penguin.

Oh, you're that reporter from TV.

So where's Wayne?

I'm beginning to wonder myself.

Well, forget him! Penguin's your star now.

I'll give you an exclusive right over here.

The true identity of the Batman.

Get ready for your close-up.

Mr. Freeze couldn't bring the heat.

Catwoman needed sharper claws.

'Not even that screw-loose Joker'

'could pull off what I'm about to.'

The cowl of the Bat.

Wakey-wakey, eggs and bac-key.

Ladies and gentlemen

I give you the man beneath the Bat.

Unbelievable.

That's for ruining my roast.

Huh!

Wha.. Oh, you'll pay for that, old man.

Heh heh heh heh.

Huh?

Arrghh!

Rematch.

Round two, then.

Make him a bat fillet.

The tape.

I've got it. Oopsy.

No!

Clumsy me.

Quick, load another one.

Heh heh heh heh. Huh?

I can't get a break here.

Hurry. We're missing everything.

You should learn to play nice, Penguin.

Why? I hate your guts.

Tweet-tweet. Fresh bat, my pretties.

We'll win the Pulitzer Prize for this.

I love the four seasons, Batman, especially fall!

Clink Ah!

Brawk!

Yaah!

Aah!

Unh!

You're all wet.

- Get it all? - I hope so. It's a dark night.

The dark knight. Now, that has a ring to it.

Mel? What are you.. What's going on here?

A long story. The Batman just..

What?

Funny how you and the Batman have never been

in the same place at the same time tonight.

Look, right there.

It's the, uh, dark knight.

Well, excitement's over.

Shall we finish that interview?

Thanks, Bruce, but I've decided to go with a different subject.

There seems to be more to Penguin than meets the eye.

Looks like I stole one thing from you after all, Brucie.

The spotlight.

C'est la vie.

Now, didn't I tell you?

Oh, I know, I know. Flirting with disaster.

You were right in more ways than you know.

I was... in a hurry.

♪ The Batman ♪