Original subtitles

Sometimes when a friend starts a new chapter in their life, there's a domino

effect. Hey.

Ooh, nice outfit.

Is it new?

No, no. I got it months ago, and then I forgot about it.

And then Kenny organized my closet and found a bunch of great stuff.

Kenny organized your closet?

Don't mock it. I'm an amazing organizer.

I've heard this about you.

No, it's true. The memorabilia store was hyper -organized. I could never figure

out the system.

It was all alphabetized and put in drawers. It was intense.

I am telling you, a well -organized closet is one of life's underrated

pleasures. Like eggs for dinner.

Or diving into a perfectly still pool.

Or a warm toilet seat.

No. And why?

What do you like, a cold toilet seat?

I want to sit here and think about why your toilet seat is warm.

Yeah, like, ah.

A stranger was just here. I can still feel their butt heat.

Okay, can we please change the subject?

Well, I'm trying to convince Kenny to go pro with the closet organizing.

Oh, that's awesome, man. You should. I'm taking steps. I'm going to start a

little website and see what happens.

Do you have a domain name?

Because I have like a hundred names that I claimed years ago. I could sell you

one. Like what? I have floopler .com, factureballs .com.

Rest in peace, BruceJenner .com. But you can't have that one. That's my

retirement plan. How do we get from Wormbutt to Faxing Your Ball?

It's not that far. It's like a diagonal crosswalk.

Anyway, I told Kenny that he should do your closet, Pete.

In fact, I have a proposal. You let me organize your closet in exchange for

taking some before and after pictures for the website.

Kenny'sCloset .com?

Do you own that? Yes.

Well, I will in about ten minutes.

Kenny, I would love for you to organize my closet.

Yo. Hey. Hey.

What'd I miss?

Kenny's starting a closet organizing business.

Hilarious. Uh, Peej, I need to get with you later and talk about some stuff.

Okay.

That was good for me.

Seriously, we were just talking about warm butts and faxing balls.

Um, okay.

Well, there's this law building down by the club, and the space just opened up

today. So, Peej, I am officially giving notice.

I'm moving out.

Wow. Wow.

Rando, that's awesome.

Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty psyched about it. I mean, you know, I'm also kind of sad

that our successful run is going to come to an end. Hey, don't think of it as an

end. Think of it as an excuse to drink that really good bottle of champagne I

have in my fridge.

I'm really happy for you, man.

And you know it's never going to happen, right?

What? Him moving out. No way. What are you talking about? You said you were

going to move out when you got the DJ job. You said you were going to move out

when you lost the DJ job.

You almost moved in with Wendy twice.

Dude, I could set my calendar by the number of times you said you were going

move out. You're being ridiculous.

And calendars don't need to be set.

Okay, you know what? I believe you're going to do it this time. I believe

going to make this happen. I believe the Cubs are really going to do it this

year. Man, too soon.

Yeah, well, I'm moving out, all right? It's happening. I signed the lease.

I'm going to sign the lease.

Oh, I hate to break this up, but we need to see the doctor.

Uh, that, that sounded way more provocative than it actually is. Oh,

no, no. We have a friend who's a doctor who we're getting coffee with because,

well, Bobby.

Because I am thinking about going to medical school.

Really? That's awesome, man. Congratulations, man. Where did this

trib has been downsizing in a big way. And, uh, you know, maybe I've just

listened to too much U2, but.

I want to do something new, you know, something where I can really make a

difference in people's lives. Good for you. Print journalism is dead. Hey. Not

you, Peach. You're fine.

So, anyway, I'm looking at medical school and maybe teaching, maybe even

school. Dr. Bobby.

That's a nice ring to it. Yeah, of course. Since he's not selling

weed, it'll probably be Dr.

Newman. That's awesome, man. You got gut.

Definitely a little scary, but, you know, I'm psyched to do something

Hey, I have a friend with a startup.

closet organizing business.

Nice. You pooped on two dreams at once.

Should we get going?

Yeah. I gotta go too.

Can I tag along? I need to take some measurements of PJ's closet.

Yeah, me too. And afterwards we're gonna hang out in our sweatpants.

No, you're serious.

Wait, you guys don't want to watch the match?

World Cup's on.

What, nobody?

Boopie, do you want to watch the World Cup with me?

It's really fun and nobody ever wants to. No, I'm not gonna sit in a bar and

watch grown men kick a ball around.

It's a beautiful day.

I should be in a mall somewhere.

It brings the world together in a really cool way. Every continent, every race.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That doesn't mean anything.

That man looks like he's carved out of marble.

Yeah, that's Brazil. They're one of the best teams in the world.

And look at that one.

Damn, how come nobody told me about this?

Okay, okay. They're not pieces of meat, okay? These are world -class athletes.

Goal! Goal!

He's taking off his shirt. What? He's taking off his shirt.

Well, that's what they do when they score a goal. At the end of the game,

all take their shirts off and exchange them.

How long do I have to wait for that?

About two merlots.

Marky?

My GPA was strong, and I had great MCATs, but I only got into two schools,

Fairbanks, Alaska, and Grenada. Wow, but you had to choose between no man and

palm tree.

Yeah, I'm both really far away.

Well, the big secret about med school is it doesn't matter where you are because

you're not going to see anything but teachers, books, and cadavers for eight

years. Eight years?

Yeah.

I got to run. If you do decide to go to med school, take a long vacation first

and kiss your friends goodbye.

Hey,

thanks for the coffee, Bethany. Yeah, thanks.

Wow.

Eight years.

You know, I don't think med school is for me.

It's a shame.

I look rowdy in scrubs.

Hey. Hey.

How's the move coming?

Well, I'm formulating a plan.

I figure if I go to organize first and when I actually move, I'll only have to

bring in the necessities.

It's a big step up from just shoving everything in a garbage bag, huh?

That's plan B.

Check this out.

One and only copy of Viscous Circle, my zine. Oh, man.

Remember desktop publishing?

Yeah, see, this is the danger of organizing.

You don't want to get too bogged down in all this stuff or you'll never get it

all packed.

Yeah, you're right, you're right.

Oh, my Jesus action figure.

Where you been, buddy?

Jesus action figure? What does he do?

He's Jesus. He can do anything.

Hey, the closet organization has begun.

Come check it out.

Hey, you should get Kenny to help you. He isn't professional.

Still cracks me up.

Oh, my God.

Okay, I need you to go through this pile here. Anything you haven't worn in the

last year gets chucked. Okay, let's slow down here.

We're not chucking anything.

Even this?

No, my... Grandma gave that to me.

Clearly. Okay, Kenny, this is insane, all right? You said you were going to

clean out my closet, not tear apart my entire bedroom.

I decided to upgrade you to the master cleanser. Okay, first of all, come up

with a better name.

Second of all, no, just the closet.

And I'm not throwing anything out.

Fine.

What about these boxes over here?

Oh, you know, those are Bobby's. Okay, I'll unpack them.

No, Kenny.

Yeah, just now with his new plans and everything, we don't know how long he's

going to be here. So just deal with my stuff, okay?

Whoa, Pete.

What were you and Earth went in fire?

Be nice. It's from her grandmother, the colorblind safari enthusiast.

What's going on? Oh, I want to show you this.

Right?

The classic Mike Callahan refuses to let go of the ski rope photo.

Legs in water everywhere.

Hey, when are your movers coming?

Movers. Hey.

Hey. What are you guys doing here? It's 8 a .m. Yeah, we're just grabbing a bite

before the game. Yeah, I had two snake bites and beans on toast at about 5 .30.

I gotta right the ship.

At 5 .30?

The World Cup has no clock.

Except for, of course, the clock.

Brazil is gonna go off today.

She has World Cup fever. I gave it to her.

You? What's so funny?

I don't know.

It's just weird.

It'd be like Mike being into cat grooming or Brando watching Ellen.

Or Bobby becoming a doctor?

Uh, yeah. Actually, I don't know if that's going to happen anymore. Not

met with my doctor friend.

Is he handsome?

Uh, she's sexist.

Is she hot?

No. Sexist.

Yeah, I think Bobby got a little scared away when he really thought about just

how long it takes to become a doctor.

He has other options, right?

Yeah, but what I never realized was that Bobby going to grad school could mean

Bobby going to grad school really far away.

No, he wouldn't do that.

Would he? I don't know. He might not have a choice.

Oh, man, that sucks.

Steph, we got to go. Next match is about to start, and the World Cup waits for

no man, not even if they need costumes. Let's do it!

Nice of your old professor to meet her. Yeah, Professor Daly was the best, too.

I'm excited to hear what he's got to say about me going into teaching. Oh, God,

you'd be a natural.

Bobby?

Hey, Professor!

So good to see you.

This is my girlfriend, PJ.

Very nice to meet you.

Oh, you too.

Bobby speaks so highly of you.

We'll have to see if we can't change that.

How are you, Bobby? What's on your mind?

Well, um, I have been thinking about getting into academia, and I kind of

to pick your brain about it. Don't do it. Run away.

I'm sorry?

Academia is hell. You chase tenure only to get it, and then you realize it's a

prison. He's colorful. Did I mention how colorful he is?

Bobby, you remember Rick Reddick? Of course. Yeah, he was my TA. Brilliant

Yeah, well, he is now a professor at Mineral Valley Community College.

You heard of it?

Uh, no.

Exactly. It's tragic.

Jobs are scarce.

It's the only choice that he had.

But if he could do it all over?

I'd buy Google at $15 a share and become a carpenter.

Anything to get away from this hellhole.

Well, good chat.

Well, so far, I'd say the score is upper education, zero.

Get a job at the carnival, one.

Hey, Brando.

How's the move coming?

I found my old Walkman and an old mixtape. I put some new batteries in.

heaven. Wow, looks like the move kind of stalled out there, huh? Dude, Spoon Man

by Soundgarden still holds up.

Hey, Brando, I talked to the guy at the corner store.

He said he has a ton of extra boxes, and you're welcome to them. Sounds good.

I also, I ate a baby panda for lunch. Bones and all. It was delicious.

Right on.

Give me a thumbs up if you like to wear ladies' underpants.

Yeah.

All right, I got to get going. I'm going to the White Sox game with my lawyer

buddy, Tim. Oh, that'll be fun.

Yeah, it should be interesting to hear about how law school is a...

long and expensive dead -end road. I'm sorry. I really thought that search was

going to be, you know, empowering and fun.

Well, who knows? Maybe what I take away from all of this is that I shouldn't go

back to school.

Look, you are still a great journalist.

Well, I obviously have a lot to think about.

I hate when I have a lot to think about.

Dude, Barracuda by Heart, best song ever.

Hey, ladies underpants.

And pantyhose.

Woo!

My closet looks like it could be in Martha Stewart Living.

Martha's a hack.

Each pair of shoes has its own little box with a photo in front.

Arranged from casual to formal. Uggs up top, pumps at the bottom.

Where are my Crocs?

Don't worry about that.

I do not know how that happened. In my ugly Christmas sweater.

It's for ugly Christmas sweater parties.

Is it?

Anyway, I have an idea how to incorporate Bobby's stuff into... No,

definitely keeping Bobby's stuff in boxes.

But when Brendan moves out, why not just... I think we should wait to see if

that's going to happen.

Okay, but these boxes can't just stay piled up over here. They're drawing

away from the closet.

Kenny, the boxes are fine, okay? Look, I really appreciate what you did to the

closet, but we're done. We're not changing anything else, okay, crazy

Me? I'm not the one who had my bathing suits mixed in with my sweaters.

happening here brazil is what's happening they just won the match in an

shootout oh my god you just said something about sports that made sense

you do to her she's the only one who's understood me oh hey how's bobby doing

with his career search oh man he's kind of bummed turns out there's a lot of

overeducated people out there who really don't enjoy their jobs not me i love my

job she said overeducated thing and honestly I really like living together,

know, and I hate the idea of him going off to God knows where for grad school.

He's God knows where? I met a girl once and he's God knows where.

Night. Night.

Well, have you told Bobby how you feel? Oh, God, no.

No, no, no. I don't want to be one of those don't follow your dreams, stay at

home with me girls. Well, it sounds like maybe you won't have to.

Yeah, it might all just go away, just like Brendan's move. Oh, maybe you're

right. Then I get credit for being supportive and I get to keep my

It's hard to think about losing something you love.

Like, Cameroon is this close to being eliminated. What am I supposed to do?

for the Dutch?

Oh, can you imagine?

No. Oh, my God.

I'm on the outside of a sports conversation.

Sucks, doesn't it? Hey, guys.

Hey. Hey, babe.

How was the game? It was great. We had an awesome time. Yeah?

Nice to get your mind off things for a bit? Yeah. And the best part is, I think

I figured out what I want to do.

I'm going to go to law school.

I'm going to be a lawyer.

Oh. Dude, that's awesome. Awesome. The world needs more lawyers.

Absolutely. Yeah.

Well, well.

Changes our foot.

Shouldn't we be celebrating?

Or at least drinking.

Absolutely. You know what? There is actually a bottle of good champagne in

fridge that was supposed to be for celebrating Brennan moving out, but...

We're opening champagne!

Come out of the closet!

It's going to be awkward for Stephanie, but I think we can all agree it's time.

Three days.

You managed to go three whole days without making the most obvious joke.

friendship. And I thank you. You're welcome.

It was hard.

What are we celebrating?

Well, Bobby is going to law school.

Hey, that's great news. Congrats.

Thanks, buddy. I'm pretty excited about it. It would be nice to have a friend

who's a lawyer when the S goes down.

Well, I mean, it's probably going to take a couple of years, so you might

to keep your S together.

What made you decide on law school? Well, my buddy Tim made me realize that

after three short years, a law degree could take you to a bunch of different

places. Public defender, politics, FBI.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, dude, FBI.

You gotta go with FBI.

You can wear my female body inspector shirt.

Bobby, that's awesome.

Yeah, I'm psyched, man. I feel like I'm at the beginning of this great

adventure, and I have no idea where it's gonna take me.

Wow.

You know what? This is gonna blow Brendan's mind, huh?

Where is he?

Gone. He moved out. Yeah, right.

See for yourself.

Son of a bitch, he did it.

My God, I can't believe it. He actually did it.

It's amazing.

Yeah, but how?

I mean, the guy spent the last two days reading old letters and looking through

Viewmasters. Ah, he was cocooning.

That's what men do before a big move. I'm pretty sure that's caterpillars.

We're all related.

But he didn't even have any boxes.

He took Bobby's. He stole my boxes?

Then where's your stuff? Don't worry about it. I took care of it.

You moved his stuff in?

I told you not to do that. PJ.

How many times did I tell you to keep his stuff separate? I could not have

more clear that I didn't want you moving his stuff in. Would you calm down? I

didn't move Bobby in. I took his stuff and I put it in a pile where the boxes

were. Okay.

Good.

Hmm.

But I end living here.

Aren't I?

I mean, yes and no. You know, not officially.

So if Bobby's boxes get unpacked, then he's officially living here. Yeah.

And that's a bad thing.

Evidently. Well, no.

I'm just trying to be the good girlfriend here. I just don't want you

trapped. No, I don't feel trapped.

A little confused, maybe, but not trapped.

Okay.

Wait, I'm sorry. Okay, so what are you saying? You want to, like, move in and,

you know, have some sort of future together and turn Brendan's room into a

nursery? Whoa!

What? I bet he's starting to feel trapped now.

I mean, no, but that's the point. You're going away, you know, and you're going

to law school, and I don't want to stand in the way of that dream.

Is that what this is about? You think I'm going to move?

PJ, part of the reason that I picked law school was so I could stay here with

you.

Really? Yes.

Listen, we may be poor now, but my family was quite rich once. We built

law schools.

This city is lousy with Newman family wings. Trust me.

So you're not going to move to East God knows where?

No. Good.

It's far.

I used to date a girl from there.

No, you didn't. All right.

You know, I was kind of hoping that now that Brando's gone, there would be room

for me here.

Ah.

Well, I mean, your boxes are here, so.

Yeah.

That's great news.

Dude, you're more excited than Bobby. Of course. I already moved Bobby's stuff

into her closet.

You're going to want to check the garbage. He is ruthless.

Why he had Terry Claus shorts, I'll never know. I just bought those at

Apparel. Well, now they're in heaven with your roller skates.

Okay, the champagne's not getting any colder.

So, here's a little toast to Bobby.

And law school. And to you two officially living together.

And to Brazil, because they're so much faster on the outside than anybody else.

That is weird.

Hey, sports fans. Hey!

Hey, how's your new pad?

Oh, it's awesome, dude.

Huge. I can ride my bike around in there like Quicksilver style.

Huh? Underrated Kevin Bacon film from the 80s, and it is awesome.

Dude, I can't believe you moved out.

Come on, was there ever any doubt?

Memory lane kept getting longer and longer.

And I can't believe you didn't ask us to help you. Man, I've pushed your albums

in that shopping cart all over this city.

I got movers.

What can I say? I'm an adult. We're in a dope place.

Oh, speaking of which, does anybody have an extra vacuum cleaner or a lamp? She

does. I found that in her closet.

No, thanks.

Champagne for her.

Bobby is going to law school.

Hilarious. So, who wants to check out the new pad?

Yeah!

When friends start new chapters in their lives, Sometimes it inspires you to

take a look at your own life.

And before too long, you find yourself starting your own new chapter.

Sweet! South Korea and Argentina.

It's on, baby!

It's on!

Let's take our shirts off, just like they do on TV.