Original subtitles

Bye, honey. You've got five minutes to get to the station.

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi.

How's Ricky enjoying his vacation?

Oh, vacation?

Honey, could you move down a little?

you're going to sweep next.

I'm all through.

Good.

Why don't you

come over and talk to me, honey?

Talk?

Sure, you don't have to do all that dusting and sweeping now.

Well, I'm... afraid I do, dear. The house gets pretty dirty if I don't do my

dusting and swipping every day.

spot here.

Right along the edge there, see?

Right along that edge there.

Thanks.

Look, honey, this is your vacation.

Wouldn't you like to be doing something?

No, no, I just want to sit here and relax.

I felt the picture there.

Honey, why don't you call up little Freddy Mertz and ask him to come over

play with you?

You know, Freddy's in town for the morning. Oh. He's in New York, remember?

What is that?

A piece of lint.

You must have missed it with the carpet sweeper.

Thank you very much.

What do you want me to do with it?

Why don't you get yourself a scrapbook and start a lint collection?

Well, Connie, why don't you go for a walk or go out to the village or go out

talk to the chickens or something?

No, I don't want to do anything. It's my vacation.

I just want to sit here and relax.

How come there's no cigarette in the cigarette box?

Well, I haven't had time to fill them yet this morning, dear.

There's a whole drawer full in the kitchen.

Oh.

Thank you.

Phew, a whole week with a Cuban kibitzer.

Did you say something?

A whole drawer full in the kitchen, dear. Cigarettes loaded with them.

Lucy? What?

What's the meaning of this?

What's the meaning of this?

Yes?

Well, this is my wedding ring. It means that we're married. It means you're my

husband, I'm your wife, and we have a child by this union. I know all of that.

Oh. What is it doing in the windowsill on top of the kitchen sink?

Well, that's where I put it every morning.

You see, every morning after breakfast, I take it off, I put it on the

windowsill, then I wash the dishes, then I come in here and I do my housework. I

go back into the kitchen, I take it off the windowsill and put it back on my

finger. Well, that's the easiest way in the world to lose your wedding ring.

Well, I've been doing it for 16 years and I haven't lost it yet. Why do you

to take it off?

Because dishwater is very hard on diamond rings.

When we got married, you said you will never take your ring off.

When we got married, you said the dishwater would never touch these lily

hands.

Well, I bought you a pair of rubber gloves, didn't I?

That's the easiest way to lose a ring, is to take it off and leave it

You put that, you put it there, and then you lose the ring. Look, Ritchie, I

don't know if you realize it or not, but ever since you started your vacation,

you've done nothing but pick on me and criticize.

Daddy, let's fly my new kite.

Yeah, go fly a kite.

All right, son. Come on.

Hi, honey. Oh, hi.

What are you doing?

Trying to keep Ricky out of my hair.

What do you mean?

Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do with him home for a whole week. He's

driving me crazy.

Oh, now you know how I feel every week.

Cook up a project to keep him occupied.

A project, huh? Yeah.

Well, how about that barbecue he and Fred are planning to build out in the

patio?

Gee, I don't know. That sounds like work. All he wants to do is sit around

relax. I don't know how I'd get him to build a barbecue.

Why don't you use the method I always use when I want Fred to do something?

What's that?

Well, I start the project myself.

And then Fred sees me and he says, Ethel, that's not the way to do that.

then he goes ahead and does it himself.

Ethel, you're getting to be a pretty tricky thinker.

Well, I've been around the old master for so long, I guess some of you has

rubbed off on me.

Well,

Ethel,

I guess we're ready to build the old barbecue now.

Yeah, we never built one before, but let's give it a try.

Yeah.

I don't think he heard us.

Make a lot of noise.

Here it comes.

Here we go. I guess you better put the cement in there, Ethel. It doesn't look

like we're starting anyway. Oh, okay. We're probably going to need a lot more

cement, too, won't you think? Put the cement in there. I've got plenty of

bricks, though, I think. What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Oh, we're building the barbecue, dear.

Wait a minute. Fred and I... going to do that next month. Oh, I know, but the

weather's so warm, we got kind of anxious to have it built, so Ethel and I

thought we'd just go ahead and do it. Yeah, just because we've never built one

before doesn't mean we can't build this one. No.

Now, here's where I thought we'd put it, Ethel, right over here. This seems like

the best place, yeah.

And then I figured that the grill should be up, say, about that high to keep the

smoke out of our eyes.

Now, would that make it kind of awkward for cooking?

Well, we'll get a little stepladder and stand on that. Oh, a stepladder. Wait a

minute. Where are the blueprints?

Blueprints? The plants.

We'll just create as we go along.

Yeah, we thought we'd just ad -lib this barbecue. Now, just a minute, girls.

Just a minute. It is very obvious that you don't know what you're doing.

I'd better do this job myself.

Well, Ethel, I guess that's right. I guess they do know more about it than we

do. Yeah, building a barbecue is man's work. Yeah.

Well, let us know how you're doing, dear.

Hold on. I'll need some help.

Help? Help?

Yeah, sure.

Well, I'm doing the brickwork. You two can be mixing the cement.

So pour the water in there and get going. I'll go get the blueprints.

You pour the water right in there.

That's what he said.

I know what he said.

Doesn't seem to be mixing together very well.

Maybe we're supposed to help it along.

Oh.

Well, all right.

Oh, my ring.

Oh.

Well, don't just stand there. Come on.

What are you doing now?

Mixing the cement like you told us to. You're not supposed to put your hands in

there. You're supposed to mix it with that hole over there.

Now he tells us.

Hey. Hey, Fred. Hi.

What in Sam Hill's going on around here? Well, we're going to build a barbecue.

I thought we were going to do that next month.

I know, but the weather got so nice, we thought we'd start right away. Well,

then I'll go and put on my working clothes and come back and help you.

you. You're welcome. Okay, Fred.

All right. Well...

to help you because you won't be needing us, dear. No, we'll just go on in the

house. Just a minute, just a minute. For a job like that, it's very good to have

some helpers.

You can mix the cement and hand us the brick while we're doing the work.

Now go on, get going, mix the cement and put some more water in there, Ethel.

little nice pile over there. All the bricks were there.

Nice and neat.

Keep it moving, Ethel. Yes, sir.

Hurry up, honey.

If I do say so myself, it looks pretty good. Pretty good?

Well, it's a work of art.

I hope the gal's got dinner ready. I'm starved. Yeah, me too.

Well, we get the... Ay, mira que tiene cosa la mujer esta.

What's wrong?

What's wrong? Oh, Lucy, I never seen anyone as curly as this. Look what she

her ring.

Well, that's one problem I'll never have with Ethel. She's careful, huh?

Well, if her fingers have gotten so fat, she can't get her ring off.

You know what I got an ocean to do? No.

I'm going to hide this ring in my pocket.

And let's see how long it takes him to find out that it's missing.

Surprise!

Surprise! Surprise!

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't put it there. That's still wet.

Don't do that.

What were you going to do?

Well, we're going to initiate our new barbecue.

We were going to cook hamburger. Oh, well, you'll have to wait till tomorrow.

You see, this needs about 12 hours at least before it sets.

Got to dry it. Well, honey, save it for tomorrow.

We can cook them tomorrow.

We'll make something else tonight then, huh? All right. I'll go home and clean

up. Wait a minute, Fred. Lucy, be sure that when you're ready to give Fred a

ring. Yeah, Lucy.

Give me a ring.

What are you talking about? I'll call you on the intercom. Why should I give

a ring? We have an intercom now.

Lucy,

you can cook macaroni and cheese for me anytime.

Oh, thanks, Deb.

I'll wash, you dry.

No, I'll wash, you dry. Okay.

What's the matter?

Oh, no. What's the matter?

My ring is missing.

I've lost my ring.

Oh, now, Lucy, are you sure?

Yes.

Oh, and it couldn't have happened at a worse time. This morning, Ricky found my

ring just lying here, and he just about hit the ceiling. Oh, well, now, faint

girl, when do you remember wearing it last?

Well, let's see. Now, after Ricky gave it back to me, I put it on my finger,

I left it on until... I took it off to mix the cement.

I remember. I saw you put it on the bench. It must be still on there.

I left it right here.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear, it isn't here. No, it isn't. Maybe it fell through the slats.

Oh, Ethel, I don't see it.

Maybe it fell in one of those pails of water.

And we used that water to mix the cement.

Oh, Ethel, my wedding ring is someplace in this barbecue.

What are you going to do?

What else can we do?

Now, Lucy, I'm not going to start taking this whole barbecue apart.

Neither one of us are right now. We're going to have to wait until the boys are

asleep. No, Lucy, I'm just not going to do it. Now, Ethel, I'd do it for you if

you'd lost your wedding ring. If I lost my wedding ring, we wouldn't have to

fight it. We'd just have to buy another box of Cracker Jack.

Ethel, it's my wedding ring, the one that I've had for 16 years, the one that

Ricky slipped on my finger when we promised to love, honor, and obey when

minister said...

Do you take this woman to be your... Look, before you start singing, oh,

me I'll help. Oh, thanks, Ethel. Thanks. I just got to find that ring. Now,

look, after Fred gets to sleep, you meet me out here, see? Okay.

You know, it's times like these I wished I'd have kept a diary.

Why? Just so I could write, Dear Diary, tonight I went out in the backyard in my

nightgown and felt wet cement.

Oh, now, Ethel.

Lucy, that's the last of it.

Where can your ring be?

I don't know.

Now, honey, it'll turn up someplace.

Oh, gee, it's 2 .30. I gotta get some sleep.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm beat, too.

I'm putting the barbecue back together again.

Lucy, that'll take you all night.

Listen, I'm going to be in enough trouble when Ricky finds out I lost my

ring. I'd hate to think what he'd do if he sees this.

I could have been in a nice, quiet apartment in New York.

No, I had to move to Connecticut so I could be near you.

I don't blame you for the way you feel. Will you go on to bed? I'll do this.

Night. Come on, sleep tight.

Oh, gee, Ethel, thanks. It's times like this when you know what friends are for.

If I'd known this is what friends are for, I'd have signed up as an enemy.

Oh, he's out flying his kite. How do you want your eggs?

Hold it for a minute. I want to go out and see the barbecue.

You don't want to look at the barbecue.

Why not?

Well, you shouldn't look at a barbecue on an empty stomach.

That's very funny.

I'll be back in a minute.

his uncle.

Never mind about your relatives.

How did this thing happen? How should I know?

That's not the barbecue we built. Of course it is, and this is a monstrosity.

I'll say, I've seen better things built by a beaver with his tail in a sling.

It looks like somebody took it apart and put it back together again.

Oh, for heaven's sake, who would do a thing like that?

Well, what else could have happened?

Well, any one of a number of things. Like what?

Well, like maybe an earthquake.

Yeah, that's it. They don't have earthquakes here in Connecticut.

That's not it.

It looks like it was hit by a tornado.

A tornado, that's it. Hit by a big fat tornado. They don't have tornadoes in

Connecticut either. Oh, boy, this is a dull state.

I'll tell you what I think it was.

What? A couple of hurricanes.

Oh, hurricanes. Yeah, Hurricane Lucy and Hurricane Ethel.

Whatever makes you think a thing like that? I don't know.

It so happens that any time something goes wrong around here, I got a pretty

good idea where to start looking. Well, could we have it if the cement wasn't...

What cement was that? What did you say? I didn't say anything, did I, Ethel? No,

no, I didn't hear anything.

Just a minute, partner. We're about to hear a very interesting story from your

mother. But, Daddy!

In a minute, amigo.

All right, Lucy, let's hear it.

I'd rather hear from little amigo.

Lucy?

took the barbecue apart and put it back together again.

But why?

Why?

I don't like the sort of details.

Because I lost my wedding ring and we thought it was in the cement, but it

wasn't.

Oh, no.

Ethel!

Were you really in on the shenanigans?

Yes, I was in on the shenanigans, and I'm dead tired from being up all night

lifting those heavy bricks, and if you say one more word to me, Fred Mertz...

I'm going to take you apart and put you back together again.

I just asked, honey bunch.

Ricky, go ahead and get mad or something and get it over with.

I'm not mad.

You're not?

No, I'm not mad at all.

This is all my fault.

Your fault?

Yeah.

I found your ring on the bench here yesterday when we were building the

barbecue, so I hid it in my shirt pocket.

But why, honey?

To teach you a lesson.

I wanted to find out how it would take you before you realized it was missing.

Oh, dear.

I'll go and get it. It's in the shirt I was wearing yesterday.

Oh, honey.

That shirt was all covered with cement. I gave it to Ethel to use as a rag.

Oh, and I gave it to Fred to use on the lawnmower.

Oh, for corn's sake.

What's the matter? What's the matter?

I tore it to pieces to make a tail for little Ricky's kite.

Oh, where's your kite?

funny, but it makes awful good hamburgers, huh? Yeah, I'm still going

it. I'll cut it up for you. Be sure it's an eyesore.

Here you are, honey.

Mmm. Mmm.

Oh, good.

There you are. Honey, come on, eat your hamburger.

No, thanks. I'm not hungry.

Oh, you better have one, honey. They're awful good.

How can I eat when my wedding ring is flying somewhere over Long Island Sound?

I told you I'd buy you a new one. I don't want a new one. I want the same

I feel so terrible about this.

I'll tell you what.

Look, I'll buy you a new one with big diamonds all around it. I don't want one

with big diamonds all around it. I want mine with the little diamonds halfway

around it.

Come on, honey. Come on. Oh,

it tastes so good.

Boy.

yesterday when you brought that tray with the hamburgers and everything?

And I picked the bin down to give it back to you? It must have fallen out of

chest. Oh, boy.

No, no, no.

What's the matter?

I want to slip it on your finger like I did 16 years ago.

Oh, honey.

Oh,

isn't that romantic?

Yeah, just like it was 16 years ago, only then I ringed in that mustard and

relish all over it.

The fastest, easiest home permanent ever.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.