Original subtitles

Come on now, little Ricky. Let me see you swing that bat.

Attaboy.

you're going to be another Mickey Mantle. Uncle Fred, who's Mickey Mantle?

Mickey Mantle? Well, he's the guy that got to replace Joe DiMaggio.

Who's Joe Maggio?

Who's Joe Maggio?

You talk more like your father every day.

It's Joe DiMaggio, and he's one of the greatest Yankees of all time.

Come on now, let me see you take another swipe at that old apple.

Bop -o, right out of them.

Park, that a boy.

Hi, Daddy. Hey, hi.

Say, what's going on, partner?

I'm swiping apples.

You're swiping apples?

He means he's taking a swipe at the old apple. Oh, well, let me see you do it.

Go on, show him. Show your dad.

Hey, he's going to be another Joe Maggio.

I'm treating the two girls and little Ricky to the ball game this afternoon at

Yankee Stadium. Well, that's very generous of you, Uncle Fred.

What's nothing, Rick. I'm glad to do it.

Today is Ladies' Day, Daddy.

Oh, it's Ladies' Day. Uh -huh.

Ladies and little boys getting free.

Ladies and little boys getting free.

He's just like his mother.

Well, listen, if you're going to go to the ball game with Uncle Fred, you

go take a nap, huh? Okay, Daddy. You're a little asleep now, son.

Goodbye.

Are you a dandy?

How about it, kiddo?

He's a dandy. Listen, did the girls come back from shopping yet? No, not yet.

And I'm getting hives at the thought of Ethel running loose in a department

store with a loaded charger plate.

Well, listen, Fred, you can expect a girl to go to the open of a new

in an old dress.

Well, it's all your fault, too. If you hadn't bought a piece of the Tropicana,

wouldn't be buying a piece of Saks Fifth Avenue.

Listen, you won't recognize the old Tropicana, boy. It's all changed.

It's brand new furniture, brand new paint job, new bandstand, new uniforms.

We even changed the name. We call it Club Babaloo.

Club Babaloo? Yeah. Hey, I like that.

And wait till you hear who I got for the opening night. Who?

Bob Hope.

Bob Hope?

Yeah, Bob Hope.

His agent, Jimmy Safia, just called me and said he's all set. Well, that's

terrific. Yeah, it's only one thing, though. I made a slip the other day, and

Lucy knows.

that I was trying to get Bob Hope for the opening, you know. How could you

a boner like that? You know how she acts in front of celebrities.

I know, but I was talking on the telephone and I didn't know that she was

apartment. But she doesn't need to know that it's all set and that Bob is going

to do it. Understand?

Mm -hmm.

So not a word in front of Lucy.

And not a word in front of Ethel.

And not a word in front of little Ricky.

Now we got him to worry about.

Yeah, a fine way to live, surrounded by blabbermouths.

Hi. Hiya, honey. What are you doing? Do I have the store? Well, not quite.

Fred, you better go give Bethel a hand. She can't get up the stairs. She's got

so many packages.

Oh, good night, nurse.

If I ever find where she hides that charger plate, I'll pound the letters

Where's the baby, honey? He just went in to take a nap. Oh, good. Any news about

the opening?

News? Yeah, about the guest star.

Did you get a hold of Bob Hope?

Bob Hope?

Yeah. Did he call you?

Uh, no.

No, Bob Hope didn't call. No.

Well, he certainly knows that you're waiting to hear from him. He knows the

opening is tomorrow night.

Yeah, well, you know, that's your business.

I can't understand why he didn't even call you, for heaven's sake.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, I just had a horrible thought.

What?

Ricky, you don't suppose... Oh, I know it's a wild idea, but you don't suppose

that Bob Hope heard about me and that's the reason he hasn't called you, do you?

But you?

Yeah, you know, those exaggerated reports about what happens to a

they meet up with me.

Oh, no.

No, as bad as you are, I don't think... Bye, George!

I hate to say this, but you may be right.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I think you hit her right on top of the head.

I think that Bob is afraid even to come near you.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. Oh, I just feel awful. Oh, that's all right, honey.

Oh, this is terrible.

Honey, you're married to a jinx. Now, now, now. Yes, you...

Here are the lineups and batting orders for today's game. Cleveland batting

first and playing right field, Al Smith.

See, a baseball game is fun.

I kind of wish I knew what it was all about.

Kill the umpires!

Stop, Ethel, stop.

Well, that's what you always say.

The game hasn't even started.

Oh, Lucy, come on, cheer up. There could be a million reasons why Bob Hope

hasn't called, Ricky. No, there aren't. He's heard that every time I come near a

celebrity, there's trouble.

Happened in Hollywood. It happened in Europe. I'm the scourge of two cotton.

Oh, now, honey, that's the silliest thing I ever heard of. Come on, perk up.

Red hot.

It's your red hot.

Get them all there hot.

Fred, Fred, I'm hungry. Get me a hot dog.

Come out here to watch a ball game or to stuff your face.

That guy down there is eating.

He's not eating. He's a pitcher.

He's chewing tobacco.

A lot of ball players chew tobacco.

Well, whatever it is, it sure looks good.

Come on, go get me a hot dog. That man won't be back here for hours. Oh, all

right. Can I have a little, Fred?

Okay, little Rick, okay.

Well, as long as you're up, you might as well bring me one, too, Fred. I come

out here to watch a ball game, and I wind up as a short order cook.

Have you seen my latest picture, The Iron Petticoat? Yes, sir.

You watch my television show?

Oh, yes, sir. Do you root for Cleveland? I own a piece of the team, you know.

Yes, sir.

Well, now that you've been properly brainwashed...

There you are, you lucky boy.

How are you?

How's it going, all right?

Listen, Ethel, you keep an eye on little Ricky for a minute, will you? What are

you going to do? I'm going to talk to Bob Hope. Oh, no, you're not. No, no,

you're not. Now, listen. Now, listen, Ethel. I'm just going to explain to him

that I'm not really a jinx and I'm going to promise to stay away from him and

maybe you'll do Ricky's show.

Oh, Lucy.

May I see your ticket, please?

I just want to talk to Bob Hope.

You and everyone else in the Yankee Stadium, I'm sorry.

But this is important. I've got to see him.

So see him. Look from here.

You don't understand.

I'm Ricky Ricardo's wife.

Well, that's keen. I'm Phoebe Krausfeld's husband, and it's still no

Hot dogs.

Get your hot dogs.

Get them while they're hot.

Hot dogs.

Hot dog man.

How many, lady? I think you and I better have a little talk.

I'm not here yet. What are they doing to the floor? What's the matter with the

floor? All right, calm down, Rick. It'll be finished today. By tomorrow night,

it'll be all setting and dry. Now, don't panic.

My opening, if I want to panic, I'll panic.

Oh, say, Rick, before I forget, Jimmy Safier called. Bob Hope's out at the

game. He wants you to come out there and look over the material for the opening.

Now, there's a ticket for you at the box office at Yankee Stadium.

Now, go on. Go on. Please go. I got a lot of things to do around here. Are you

sure that that floor is going to get in all right? It'll be fine. I'll just...

Take it easy. Just go to the ball game. Enjoy yourself.

Janky Stadium.

Janky Stadium.

80 ,000 people are there.

They couldn't possibly meet.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I... I see.

Excuse me.

I told you, I don't want a hot dog. But, Mr. Hope, if I could just talk... Look,

if you don't get my message, I don't want a hot dog. Look upon me as a

vegetarian, will you, please?

Please, Mr.

Hope. Will you get this thing out of here? The steam is taking the curl out

my nose. Will you get it?

Please, Mr. Hope. Mr.

Hope, it'll only take a minute.

You see, I don't really sell hot dogs. No? Well, what are you doing with this

thing? Hatching chickens?

Thank you very much.

What I have to tell to you about is very important, Mr. Hope.

Would you give him the change, please?

There you are, sir. Thank you very much.

Oh, yes, ma 'am.

Yes, ma 'am. Here, Mr.

Hope, would you pass that, please?

Oh,

I'm sorry, sir.

There you are, sir.

Thank you.

Toby, have you got change for a five? Hey, can I have some mustard?

Yes, I'm sorry. Can I have some mustard, too? Wait, I've got change for a five.

I could shave you, but I've got a little action going here.

A little mustard right there.

A little mustard smile.

A man wants a little mustard.

delicious. Oh, Mr. Hope, I'm sorry.

That's all right.

What was that? What was that?

Oh, nothing. Somebody just hit the ball over the fence.

Oh, no.

Al Rosen hits a home run and I gotta miss it. Oh, no.

I'm trying to watch the game. Will you leave?

I've always wanted a quick frozen beret.

Take it easy and then go back to see the game.

Mr. Holt. Yeah. There's a Mr. Ricardo outside to see you. Oh, fine. Send him

Thank you very much.

Hi, Bob. I heard about the foul ball. Are you all right?

Yeah, they can't hurt me. I used to be involved with it, you know.

I understand that a hot dog vendor costs the whole thing.

Pardon?

A hot dog vendor costs the whole thing.

You're trying to tell me something.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

A hot dog vendor, yeah. Some real weirdo kept saying he wanted to talk to me. A

real weirdo that kept going... What

did this hot dog vendor look like? Oh, tall, red hair.

Uh -oh.

Oh, what?

It could be my wife.

Are you married to a tall red -haired weirdo that goes yatta -thi -yatta -thi?

Yes. With a mustache?

Oh.

Oh, thank goodness for once it wasn't Lucy.

But if you ever bump into a tall red -haired weirdo that goes yatta -thi

-thi -yatta -thi and doesn't have a mustache, run for your life. That's

Your wife really like that?

Yes.

You need this more than I do.

Listen, Bob.

I wanted to talk to you about that opening for the club. You know, you got

ideas what we should do?

Yeah, I've been thinking it over, and I think we can do some real fine...

I've never seen you with a team before.

Oh, no, I'm a new one. Well, back to the old ball game.

Say,

you must be that new rookie we brought up from our farm at Indianapolis.

Oh, yep.

Oh, well, how are things down at the farm?

Oh, farm? Oh, pigs are all right, but the cow died. Well, back to the old ball

game.

I understand you have quite a throwing arm. I'd like to see your pitching

motion.

What do you pitch, bonbons?

Well, I could pitch much better if I had a chaw of tobacco.

All us pitchers chew tobacco, you know. I'll go get some tobacco and come back

and pitch for you later. Hey, wait a minute, buddy.

Here. Here's some chewing tobacco right here.

please tell me what you are doing.

Well, I was only trying to get Mr. Hope to appear at the club.

I'm sorry you got hit on the head and I tried to sell you a hot dog.

Was that you too? I told you. I didn't recognize you without your mustache.

Now you'll never appear at the club.

I'll be there.

Will! I had the whole thing straightened out with his agent this morning.

This morning?

Yes.

Now look, Bob, we still... haven't decided what we're going to do. The

is tomorrow night. What do you think? Well, I've got a special material number

about baseball for three people. We need a couple. I need a couple of partners

that can sing and dance.

Well, I'm not exactly Jim Kelly, but I'd love to do it with you. Oh, that's

great. Who else can we get?

You stay out of this.

I didn't say anything.

You mean the kiss of death can sing and dance?

Well, that is a matter of opinion.

Well, it's an easy little number. She might be cute in it.

After all she's done to you.

I figure if you can't lick them, join them.

Nothing doing. We'll get somebody else.

I'll talk to you later.

Well, back to the old ballgame.

What's the problem?

Well, I really did want to do that act with you, Mr. Hope.

All my life I've wanted to be in show business.

And doing an act with you would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

Well, why don't you do it then?

Because Ricky won't let me. He says I'm a jinx.

Oh.

No, no, calm, calm.

Ballplayers never cry.

I'm sorry I got mustard on you.

And I'm sorry I made you get hit on the head.

It's all right, any time at all.

I'm sorry I hit you on the back and made you swallow your tobacco.

No, it's all right.

You got a lump on the head and I got a lump in my stomach.

That's a funny joke.

It is?

Yeah. Thank you.

You know, I sing and dance even better than I tell jokes.

and Ricky let you go into show business.

I don't know.

Just professional jealousy, I guess.

Oh, you poor thing.

And you know, Mr. Hope, I'm only trying to help him. I'm only trying to be a

good wife, that's all. I can sing and I can dance. I can do a lot of things. You

have no idea how talented I am.

May I?

Don't speak to me, you Cuban heel.

What happened? What happened? I'll tell you what happened.

This dear little girl wants to get into our act and you won't let her. All her

life she's tried to get into show business and you've held her back.

Yeah.

Best little wife any man ever had and you don't appreciate her. Yeah.

I think we ought to let her do the act with us.

Yeah. Nothing doing.

No? Well, let me put it this way. If she doesn't do it, I don't do it Yeah?

Each one they throw, I return for two cents.

a hundred years.

for the memory of being here with you at your club Babalu. Thank you.

And through it all, I had a ball in spite of you -know -who.

How lovely it was.

I know what you mean.

Gracias por el recuerdo.

He's trying to tell us something.

I know I'm dumb, but translate, chum. In English.

It was.

Why'd he say so? Oh, he's a show -off.

You made such a wonderful ump.

I'm afraid that I danced like a chump.

Well, that's all right. And I'm sorry I gave you that lump.

Well, I don't care.

It might grow hair.

Milk with new squeeze bottle magic will bring you I Love Lucy.

I Love Lucy, starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, has been

presented for your pleasure by Instant Sanka, the hearty coffee you can drink

strong as you like. It still can't upset your nerves.

Special lyrics for tonight's show were written by Larry Orenstein. Music was by

Elliot Daniel, and Jack Baker did the choreography.

Our guest star, of course, was Bob Hope.

Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.