Original subtitles

And now, I Love Lucy.

Honey, it's time to get down for the dinner show.

Ricky?

Ricky, do you mind if I don't go to your show tonight?

Don't go?

Yeah, the show is wonderful, and I just love the numbers you do, but, you know,

after seeing it so many times, it does get a little boring.

Do you mind if I don't go tonight, Ethel and I?

No, of course not, honey. Why should I mind?

Good. I thought we might go to a movie.

Sure, that's a good idea.

Go have a little dinner, then go to a movie, and what do you mean my show is

boring?

Oh, honey, I didn't mean it was really boring, but, you know, after seeing it

many times, it... Well, after 20 or 30 times, it does get a little...

Yes?

Well, let's put it this way. Your show is so great, I just can't stand the

excitement of seeing it one more time.

That's better.

That's better?

Hi, Rick.

Oh, hi, hi.

We better get down for the dinner show, Rick.

Yeah, okay, I'll be right with you. Hey, Ethel. Ethel, how would you like to

have dinner and go to a movie with me tonight?

Oh, I'd love to.

But how did you get us out of the, uh...

S -H -O -W.

Oh, Ethel, he can't pronounce English, but he can spell it.

You're a darn tootin', I can.

The best one thing I know how to do is have to S -P -E -L.

How do you like that? All these years I could have been spelling in front of

him. I'll get my things.

Hey, Rick, there's something that I want to... Well, I'd better tell you.

Yeah, what is it, Fred? Well, I was going over the books and... Well, you

that money isn't everything.

And you also know that anyone can make a mistake.

Well, what? What's going on? You remember how I told you back in Rome

cleared $3 ,000?

Yeah. Well, I checked the figures again, and when I jiggled the paper, for what

I thought were decimal points, fell off.

There must have been dirt or something.

So we didn't make quite $3 ,000.

How much did we make?

Three hundred.

Three hundred?

Fred, when I hire a band manager, I hire somebody to handle things, not to louse

them up.

Well, I'm sorry, Rick, but these things just happen.

Well, there's been too many of these dumb things just happening.

I might as just as well have Lucy for a band manager.

Well, you don't have to get nasty.

What do you mean?

I mean, you might just as well have had Lucy for a bad... And what do you mean,

you don't have to get nasty?

What's going on?

Three guesses who goofed. What did I do?

Not you, Fred, the boy wonder of Wall Street.

Look, we'll have to go over the books tomorrow and see exactly where we stand.

Come on, we'll be late for the show.

Okay.

I'll go get my coat.

Hey, I got a wonderful idea. Let's you and I go to the Monte Carlo Casino

tonight. Oh, let's do. We couldn't leave without seeing the most famous gambling

casino in the world. And who knows, we might be the first Americans who ever

broke the bank at Monte Carlo.

You're not going to broke no bank nowhere.

Why not?

Because I don't want you to go to the casino. Why not?

Because I don't want you to gamble.

Oh, honey, just a few dollars. I might win.

That would be worse.

Like my father used to say, El dinero que se gana jugando no te hace ningún

bien. Y si te encuentro jugando, no te vas a poder sentar por una semana.

Well... What does that mean?

It means ill -gotten gold is no one's gain.

And furthermore, my son, if I catch you gambling, you won't be able to sit down

for a week.

All right, so I won't gamble. I just want to see what the casino looks like.

no, no, no, no. Once you get in there, the temptation is irresistible.

Oh, how do you know?

I know.

My father... took me to Havana once.

So? So I couldn't sit down for a week.

Remember, no casino.

Why don't you just lock me in my room for the night?

Oh, no, honey, don't be silly. You can go and have dinner anywhere you want and

then go see a movie.

And you stay out of that casino, too, Ethel. Oh, with the money you give me,

don't have to worry.

It's not bad. I'm afraid you might meet up with some prince and sweep him off

his feet.

Dinner and a movie, big deal.

Well, so we can't gamble. We can at least eat.

Where'll we go?

Well, let's see.

Restaurants, restaurants.

Hey, you know where we're dining tonight?

Where? At a very famous Monte Carlo restaurant called Le Grill.

Is it near the casino?

It's in the casino.

Lucy, where... can't do that. Why not? They said we could eat any place we

wanted to, didn't they? Yeah, but they also said we couldn't go to the casino.

Oh, well, Ethel, if you're going to split hairs.

Well, I'd rather split hairs than have the boys split our skulls.

Look at it this way. How many times in your life are you going to be in Monte

Carlo? Well, I don't know.

Is it our fault if the best restaurant in town is in the casino?

Well, we don't have to go to that restaurant.

We do if we want to see the casino.

such logic. How can I refuse?

We're just strolling slowly through the casino to help digest our food, you

know.

It is your taste, madame.

Oh, uh, je do not play.

Oh, look.

Pardon me, sir. Is this your chip?

This must be your chip, then, sir.

No, no, madame.

No?

Maxis, 26 black.

Madame! Madame!

Madame!

Number 26 has won.

What? Number 26 has won!

Number one?

Yes, look, all this is yours.

There's your bag. Oh, well, that's been a mistake.

You see, I put the chip on the table, but it wasn't really my chip in the

place. I threw it on a number, but I didn't mean to.

This isn't my money.

Look, this isn't my money, sir. You missed the whole stack on number 18,

Oh, fine, 18.

It is your money.

I saw you placing the bet with my own eyes. Now, now, look. Wait just a

mister. I... Oh, Ethel.

You saw her put the bet on the table, but that chip didn't belong to her. The

first chip. It was not mine.

Oh, very well.

Voilà. This is for the house. The rest is yours.

Pardon, madame.

Do you wish to place another bet? Now, look. Look, try to get this through your

head. I wash my hands of those chips. But, madame... As far as I'm concerned,

they can stay right where they are. I don't care. Then you left it right on

number...

Does Madame wish to continue with the game? I was never in the game.

Oh, you do not wish to place another bet? No, sir. No, sir. Oh, well, Madame,

then please follow me to the cashier. The cashier?

Yeah. You just won 875 ,000 francs. Look, I just couldn't care

less. All I was doing was just walking through the casino. I put...

much you want?

Oh, honey, that would be worse. He'd be a rich widower.

Let me hide it in here until I can at least think of some way to tell him

without admitting that I went to the casino.

Well, all right.

Where do we put it? How about under the mattress?

Oh, no, it'd get all mixed up with Fred's money.

I know, I know.

I've got it.

Right in here with my good lingerie.

There's lots of room I had with much...

It'll be safe there. Gee, French money is big, isn't it? Oh, I never knew it

that big.

Imagine a thing like this happening.

Come on now. It's all right. It's all right.

Ethel, how am I going to explain all that money?

This is probably the toughest assignment I've ever had.

Well, maybe something will come to you in the night.

Gee, I hope so.

Don't tell Frank.

Thanks a lot, Ethel. Well, good night.

Good night.

Hi.

Hi. Is Fred here?

Nope, he's down at the barbershop. Oh, I'll call him.

Barbershop, please.

Is Lucy in her room? No, I think she's down in the lobby. Oh, well, maybe I'll

run into her. So long, Rick. Bye.

Monsieur Morris, please.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Fred. This is Ricky.

I'm up in your room. I come over to go over the books, you know.

Hey, you got hold of the wrong suitcase.

I'll say I did.

That's full of Ethel's unmentionables.

It's a few of yours in here, too.

What do you mean?

Look, Fred.

We've been friends for a long time.

I know there's a logical explanation.

Don't you have something to tell me?

No, I don't think so.

All right, Freddy, if that's the way you want to handle it, open the suitcase

and explain what's in it. Well, what are you talking about?

Just open the suitcase and explain what's in it.

Well, all right.

This is Ethel's girdle.

This is what I mean.

Holy smoke.

Where did that bundle of cabbage come from? That's what I'd like to know. Huh?

What's the story?

What's what story?

Now, look, Fred.

Yesterday, you told me that you made a mistake in bookkeeping in Rome.

That we hadn't made $3 ,000, that we've only made $300.

That we were short $2 ,700.

And today, I find a suitcase full of money in your closet.

Are you trying to tell me you think I've been juggling the books?

Fred, I am trying to find out a logic. logical explanation.

Now, after all, you have almost a million francs in this suitcase and you

you don't know where it comes from. Ha!

In the first place, it isn't my suitcase.

It's Ethel's.

Please, now, don't be a cat and pin it on your wife.

Now, where did this money come from? I tell you, I don't know.

Now, Fred, I am afraid I have caught you red -handed.

You have not caught me red -handed.

trying to be fair.

Don't make me lose my temper. Oh, go ahead and lose it. I've already lost

Now put up your dukes.

Fred? Go on, put them up.

I'm going to thrash you within an inch of your life.

Fred, I am not going to get into a fight with you. Oh, yes, you are. You sullied

the name of Mertz.

That can't be true. You must be mistaken. No, no, no, I'm not mistaken.

Accidentally, I found a suitcase full of money in his closet.

And he says he has no idea where the money came from.

Oh, uh... Oh, Ricky, that isn't Fred's money in Ethel's suitcase.

What do you mean it isn't Fred's?

How do you know it was Ethel's suitcase?

Oh.

Uh, how'd I know it was Ethel's suitcase?

Yeah.

it was her money.

Why did Ethel get all that money?

Her aunt died and left it to her.

Her aunt left her French money?

Oh, it was her French aunt.

That's good.

I mean, that's right. Her French aunt, her aunt, Yvette.

Yeah, Yvette.

Are you telling me the truth?

If I'm not, may I...

You're saying it's right.

I certainly owe Fred Murth an apology.

Yeah, well... There

it is, Ricardo.

My resignation.

Effective immediately.

Immediately after you pay our transportation back to the States, plus

severance pay.

Now, Fred...

I just found out that that money belongs to Ethel.

Ethel who?

Ethel Mertz.

My Ethel Mertz?

Yes. Her aunt died and left her the money.

What aunt?

A French aunt that you don't know about.

That's right, Fred.

Do you mean my little honey bun is loaded?

I'm sorry I thought you were a crook.

That's all right, Rick. What are friends for?

Listen, we'll tear this up.

Fred, Fred, don't tell Ethel you know. Let her tell you in her own way, huh?

Yeah, that'd be better.

Don't say that.

Hello there, you little dickens, you.

What's the matter with you?

Sweetheart, it just dawned on me what a fascinating creature you are.

He's got him. No, no, no, don't be silly. It's you, you doll.

Why, when you walked into this room, if we weren't already married, I'd have

asked you for a date.

Come on, honey, let's try and go someplace where we can be alone.

Come on, darling.

Let's try and be alone for a minute.

Come on, I'll sit here.

You sit in my lap.

Come on, sweetie pie.

Now, now put your arm around me.

There.

Fred, are you sure you're all right?

I've never felt better in my life, lover.

Oh, then you meant all of those things you said in there? Of course I did.

Listen to me now. Ricky's gone downstairs. It's my only chance to talk

Ricky found all that money in your suitcase and thought Fred had been

the book, so I told him it was your money.

What'd you do that for?

Well, I didn't want him to think Fred was an embezzler, and I didn't want him

find out I'd been gambling and you were the only one left.

It's on account of that money in my suitcase.

Money? That money had nothing to do with my deep devotion for you.

Well, it's a good thing it didn't because it isn't mine. It's Lucy's.

I went gambling last night at the casino. What are you trying to pull?

I'm not trying to pull anything.

It was Lucy's half -baked idea.

Ethel, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're sorry? How do you think I feel?

other's throat just because of that dirty money. This dirty old money.

Lucy, what are you going to do?

Lucy, where are you going to go?

I'm going back to the casino and get rid of this ill -gotten gold.

Now what's the matter with you?

Wiped out twice in one life.

What are you talking about?

The money in that suitcase isn't mine. It's Lucy's. Oh.

Lucy's?

Yes, she won a gambling last night at the casino.

I told her not to gamble.

Oh, now put your eyes back in their sockets. She only gambled by accident.

By accident?

Oh, come now. There was almost a million francs in that suitcase.

You can think of a better story than that. Oh, now, Ricky, it's the truth.

the truth. She found a... chip on the floor, and she threw it on the table to

give it back, and it won.

She kept pushing the chips, just kept pushing them away from her, and she

her way into a fortune.

Now, Richie kept her promise. Honest, she did. We just happened to eat in a

restaurant that was in the casino.

You told her she could eat any place she wanted to.

Ricky, please don't be angry.

Gee, Lucy thought you'd be furious.

But you had them on read. And 25 years old.

is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.