Original subtitles

And now, I Love Lucy.

Hi.

You know, you've done crazy stunts before, but this is the craziest.

I don't care.

I just wanted to make sure that I got to swim in the Mediterranean at least

once. But it's such a cold day. Wasn't it freezing?

Yes.

Go on, put some warm clothes on.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

It was good, though. I liked it.

I can't believe it, Ethel. That's all. I just can't believe it. Oh, if you'll

just stop talking, I'll... I'll prove it to you. Where's Lucy?

Getting out of her bathing suit.

There. All right, Ethel, I'm convinced. I don't know why I ever doubt anything

Miss Crazy Quilt does.

Yeah, you should know better than that by now, Fred. Are you all packed?

Yeah, and when you finish, I'm going to send all the baggage down to the bus

depot. The bus depot?

Isn't there a train to Nice?

Yeah, but the bus is cheaper.

You know me.

Boy, do we know you.

Besides, we get to see more of the country if we go by bus.

Bus?

What's this about a bus?

Well, well, if it isn't the poor man's Florence Chadwick.

Fred wants to go to Nice by bus.

The train's faster, but I vote for the bus because it's cheaper.

Well, I vote for the train.

And I vote for the train. I vote for bicycles.

There, you see?

Bicycles? Yeah, bicycles.

How'd that get on the ballot?

Everybody in Italy rides bicycles. Why shouldn't we?

From here to Nice?

up on the map and it's only about that far from here to Nice.

Have you ever tried riding that far on a bicycle? That's probably a hundred

miles.

That's a hundred miles?

Actually, Nice is about 35 miles from here. There, I knew that couldn't be a

hundred miles.

Well, you'll never get me up on a bicycle.

On behalf of bicycle seats everywhere, thank you.

Just forget it, honey.

Yes. What is the matter with the three of you?

You wouldn't climb... to the top of the Eiffel Tower, you wouldn't ride the ski

lift in Switzerland, you won't swim in the Mediterranean, and now you don't

a bicycle along the Italian Riviera.

Nothing personal, but I sure am traveling with three wet blankets.

Some group, three wet blankets and a crazy quilt.

Well, I don't care what you do. You get bus tickets or train tickets, whatever

you want.

Well, that's better.

All right. I am going to Nice by bicycle.

Okay, you can go to Nice whichever way you want to go. Very well, I shall. All

right.

That's telling her, Rick. Yeah, no dame's going to lead you around by the

Yeah.

Fred. What?

You better rent me two bicycles.

What am I going to do? I can't let her ride all over Italy by herself. I may

never see her again.

Yeah. Now, now, go ahead. Get two bikes. You and Ethel go on the bus and we'll

meet you there.

Well, if you're going to do it.

Let's do it, too, huh, Fred? You can get one of those bicycles built for two.

Yeah, that'll be fine for you, but what am I going to ride?

Fred, you go ahead and rent some bicycles for all of us, huh? Okie dokie.

won't be necessary, Fred.

Why not?

I just did.

Oh.

Boy, I ain't ever seen so many hills in my life.

Oh, and my leg's tired.

That's good for him. Makes strong leg muscles.

Oh, sure. Here's what I need.

I can play the conga drum with my feet.

Well, let's rest a while. Wait for Fred and Ethel.

Don't tell me that the six -day bicycle racer is getting tired.

Yeah, just a little. But I have an idea. The Nice is right over that next hill.

Are you kidding? We haven't even reached the French border.

Oh,

boy,

I'm exhausted.

Me too, I'm beat.

horse. Even thinking of coming over here by bicycle, I should have my head

examined. My trouble's in an entirely different spot.

Come on, let's push on.

Push on?

Oh, honey, I'm too tired. Besides, it's getting late.

Yeah, that's right.

Don't you think we ought to find some place to spend the night? Hey, Rick,

there's a farmer.

Yeah, maybe you can put us up for the night. Yeah.

Señor.

Salve, signori. Volete qualche cosa?

Do you speak English?

Huh? English, you speak it?

Non capisco.

Apple, use your Italian.

Oh.

Bona sera.

Ah, buona sera.

Lei parla italiano benissimo, signora.

Benvenuta nella mia povera cascina. Posso fare qualche cosa per voi?

Voi siete americani, vero?

A noi fa piacere di avere degli americani fra di noi.

What did he say? What did he say?

I don't even know what I said.

Now we're going to ask him to put us up for the night if we can talk to him. I

know. I'll use sign language. Anybody can understand that. Yeah, right.

Senor? Yes?

Let's see now. We want two rooms in your house overnight, huh?

We want two rooms in your house overnight. We want two...

Second word.

Do it. Do it. Do it.

We want to... Room, room. That's right.

Look,

I'll act out the whole thing. Give me room. Room.

All right.

Watch me.

Uh -oh, I guess he didn't understand me as well as I thought.

I'll try again.

You've done enough already, Marcel Marceau.

Just wait a minute. Look, how about your house?

Uh, your house.

Uh, your, your house.

Uh, casa.

Ah, casa mia.

Yeah, casa tua.

No, no, signore, in casa mia ci sono...

Nine children. No wonder there's no room in the house.

I'm surprised there's room in the barn.

It's either stay here or get back on the bicycles. What do you say, honeybunch?

Shall we turn in?

Why not?

Well, don't just stand there. Grab a pitchfork and make up our bed.

pretty good, but when I woke up, there was an old goat next to me. So odd. It

happens to me every morning of my life.

Hey, you want to see something funny?

Come and take a look at my cute old goat.

milk the cow?

Not me.

Why not? You said you were raised on a farm in Cuba.

I was, but you don't milk cigars.

What are you laughing at? Get to it. Oh, no, honey, I'm a city girl.

Fred? I pass.

Well, maybe we can get some water anyway. Oh, yeah, there must be a well

spring or something. Yes, we'll find one.

on yourself I have

They don't give it, you have to take it.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, thank you. Thank you.

I hate to leave.

Well, hurry up.

Farewell, Italy, with your beautiful mountains and your lakes and your

people.

Goodbye, dear Italy.

No, I'm not going to say goodbye.

Look, Lucy, this is not time for jokes. I'm not joking.

Well, where is it? I told you to keep it in a safe place.

Oh, my gosh.

What's the matter?

It's in my blue purse.

Well, where's your purse?

Oh, my gosh.

What now?

Well?

It's in that trunk that was sent ahead to Nice.

What?

How did you expect to let Italy come into France without a passport?

passport right now, but I'm with them and they'll vouch for me.

No, no, I'm sorry. You cannot cross the border without a passport.

Now, look, I just told you I have a passport, but I just haven't got it with

Now, look, you let me go through it, I'll get it and bring it back to you. I

happen to have it in a purse that's sent ahead in a trunk to Nice.

No, no, signora, you cannot go through without a passport.

Ricky, do something!

Look, if we promise you that we'll bring the passport back, can't you go through

with us?

I'm sorry.

Well, it is not, Saxon. Okay, I'll keep my eye on him. I'm awful sorry, honey.

Now, Fred, you pedal. Be sure and pedal. Thank you, honey. Hurry back.

So, my passport. My husband's got it. I just want to go over there and sit with

my friend for a while. I must have your passport, ma 'am.

I haven't got it.

Then you cannot go.

I don't know.

Oh, it must

be Ricky.

Hello? Hello.

Was the trunk there, honey?

Yeah, the trunk is here.

Well, did you find my purse?

No, I didn't. Why didn't you?

Because I can't find the key to open the trunk well.

What now?

Hello? Hello.

Hi, honey, did Ethel get there? Did you find my purse?

Yeah, yeah, Ethel got here and she brought the key and we opened the trunk

we found your purse.

to myself.

It wasn't there at all. It was right over there in my knapsack. So I'll just

get it and give it to you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, senor.

You can't go through without a passport.

Mamma mia, I just told you it's over there in my knapsack. Let me go through

I'll get it. No, no, no, no, no. Me dispiace. You cannot go through unless

show me your passport.

Well, how can I show you my passport if you won't let me go through to get it?

Well, I'm sorry.

Regulation.

Regulation. Smegulations.

All right.

knapsack. You go get it. Signora, those knapsacks have been cleared out of Italy

and into France.

And they can only be brought out of France back in Italy by the owner.

But I am the owner.

Can you prove it? Of course. What do you want me to do to prove it? Show me your

passport. May I use your phone?

Thank you very much.

Regulations.

I'd like the Plaza Hotel in Nice, France.

Operator, I'd like to speak to Monsieur Ricky Ricardo, please.

Oh, boy.

Gee, thanks.

Thanks, honey.

No, thank you very much.

Oh, hooray! I made it!

Thank you.

Ah, give it to me. I know where it is.

Honey, aren't you going to bawl me out or anything?

Do something to me, please.

No, I'm afraid to get mad. I'm afraid to get mad for what might happen if I get

mad. But the next time that you get into trouble... Oh, I won't, sir. You can

trust me, sir. I'll never get in trouble again, sir.

If I do, you'll be the last to hear about it.

Come on.

I just left. I came on duty. Now.

is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.