Original subtitles

And now, I Love Lucy.

Come

in.

Van manager Merch reporting, sir.

Hi, Brad. Hi.

And here's your mail.

Oh, thank you very much. You're welcome.

Hey, this will make Lucy happy. What is it?

An invitation to the most famous spring fashion show in Paris, Jacques Marcel.

Jacques Marcel, the big dress designer?

Yeah, oh, this was hard to get. I had to pull a few strings.

I'd like to pull a string around your neck.

Why, what's the matter? What are you letting me in for?

Do you know what that guy charges for his clothes?

Oh, Fred, they just want to go there so they can say that they've been there.

They don't want to buy anything. They just want to look.

Look.

Turning our wives loose in that place is like taking two mice on a tour through

a cheese factory.

No, Fred, I don't think... Oh, now, listen.

I met a guy yesterday from St.

Petersburg, Florida, down at the American Express office. Yeah?

His wife went to one of those showings.

He ended up shelling out 500 clams for one dress.

500?

That's just the start. Where they finish, nobody knows.

Well, gee, Fred, I don't want to break my promise. Well, if you don't, the

promise will break you.

Well, well.

I do want to make Lucy happy.

And if she goes to this place and she's not able to buy a dress, she will

feel miserable.

So if I don't show her this invitation,

I will actually be sparing her all of that misery.

I'll be doing her a favor.

You know what's wonderful? The way you're always thinking of Lucy.

Thank you.

Welcome back to the husband's union.

Thank you very much.

I lost my head there for a minute, old man. Yes, you did.

She's at the mice.

Well,

where you been all day?

Shopping on the Champs -Élysées.

What a night.

Look at the bag I bought. It only cost a thousand francs. A thousand francs?

Relax. That's two dollars and eighty -five cents.

I keep forgetting.

Honey, what did you buy?

Oh, a toy for little Ricky and some perfume for Mrs. Trumbull.

Well, that bottle must be leaking. I smell perfume.

Oh, no, dear. That's on me.

The sales lady said that after one good whiff of this perfume, you'd burst into

flame. Take a whiff.

wearing some of that potent perfume, too, Freddy.

Well? Nice try.

Oh, I could have done better with a book of wet matches. Oh, darn it, it isn't

here. It should have been here by now.

What's that? Our invitation to Jacques Marcel's fashion show.

Oh, oh, the invitation. Yeah, well, you know, I forgot to tell you. I tried to

get one, but very hard to get. Only the, um...

You know, the fashion designers and the buyers, that's all they get them. Oh,

darn it. I really wanted to go to that. It's probably our last chance to see a

big show, too. Maybe some other time. Hello?

Yes, this is Mrs. Ricardo.

Oh?

Jacques, Marcel's secretary?

Yes?

Oh.

No, we didn't.

Well, of course we'll be there.

Tomorrow at two.

Thank you. Goodbye.

invited to the fashion show.

Gee, I wonder why we didn't get our invitation.

I have a feeling we did.

Ricky, where is the invitation?

The invitation?

The invitation to the fashion show. Where is it?

Honey, I don't... Bye, George. It did come in the mail.

How do you like that? You lied to me. You said this didn't come.

No, I did not.

I said they were hard to get.

It's my own fault. He's beginning to think like me.

Promise me you're only going there to look. I'm disappointed in you. You don't

trust me. I told you I was only going to go there to look.

Bethel, need I say that the same goes for you?

You need not, Diamond Jim Mertz.

What are you going to wear, honey? My brown hat. I think I'll wear my gray,

one with the...

Oh, you've never seen such clothes in your life? Oh, Lucy, weren't they

That blue satin sheets was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. How

that wedding dress? Oh, bonjour, madame.

Entrez, s 'il vous plaît.

Merci.

That's all hand embroidery on that wedding dress. Oh, wasn't that

There'll be four of us.

Oh, my.

See,

I can hardly wait for the fellas to get here.

What are you going to have? A Jacques Marcel dress.

I've just got to have one. I'm going to get one if it's the last thing I do.

Well, it will be.

Oh,

here comes Alice.

Hi. Hi there.

Oh, it was... You having a good time? Yeah, wonderful. Ricky was the most

beautiful... Just magnificent clothes. Most gorgeous clothes I've ever seen in

my whole life. Well, I'm glad you went and got a good look and got it out of

your system.

Ricky. No.

No what?

I'm not going to buy you a Jack Marcel dress.

That is not what I was going to ask.

Honey, I know you pretty well.

Do you know me well enough to know that I'm going to pester you for that dress

till the end of my days?

And do you know me well enough to know that if you do, the end might come

than you expected?

You never buy me anything.

What do you mean I never buy you anything?

How about a Don Lopper original I bought you in Hollywood?

A Don Lopper original.

That old thing.

When I... bought you that dress, you promised me that you will never ask me

another expensive dress as long as you live. Oh, I couldn't have said a thing

like that. You must be thinking about one of your other wives.

And I'll leave it up to you. Does that sound like something I'd say? I pass.

see... What do you mean, you pass?

I'd like to read something to you.

February 28, 1955.

If Ricky buys me a Don Lopper original, I will never ask him for another

expensive dress as long as I live.

Signed, Lucy Ricardo. Let me see that.

Obviously a forgery.

It won't help you. I had a photo started.

Now, honey, why don't you be a good girl? You don't hear Ethel asking Fred

buy her a new dress.

I'll be lucky if he buys me my lunch.

Look, Lucy, there's one of the models from the show.

Oh, yeah.

she wore on the show?

She's too late for Halloween.

Yeah, and she's too early for April Fool.

Now, that was really a beautiful outfit. Here comes another one.

That explains it. They're from Mars.

You just don't appreciate high fashion.

High fashion? That looks like it was made out of a potato sack.

Just ignore them. Just ignore them.

This is the one I love.

I love to see it. I really love it.

Ethel, did you leave our hotel room unlocked?

No, why?

She'll get on my old flannel bathrobe.

Mr. Shaw, let's have some lunch.

Yeah. What do you want?

Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing? I am going on a hunger strike.

Oh, no. Until you buy me a Jacques Marcel dress, no food will pass my lip.

Lucy, don't you think that's carrying? Leave her alone. If that's what she

to do, it's all right with me. Yeah, that hunger strike's a good idea.

Ethel, why don't you... Oh, shut up.

He won't last very long anyway. Well, you just wait and see. Until you put a

Jacques Marcel dress on my back... I will put not a bite in my stomach.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we are, Rick. What do you want? Oh, listen.

I got a plan. I think I know how to break Lucy's hunger strike.

Oh, good. What are you going to do? Well, I'm going to order some lunch sent

here, see? And we're all going to eat it right in front of her.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea. What'd you order?

Ethel, we just ate. How can you eat again?

There is no sacrifice I wouldn't make for my friend Lucy.

What'd you order?

Well, all kinds of tasty -looking stuff, you know. I'll bet you that this will

weaken her.

You know, she's been on this drive for three whole days.

I don't know how she can stand it. Maybe she's sneaking food in on you. No, no,

no. The clerk told me that she hasn't left the room or had anything sent up.

Holy cats.

If this doesn't work, I don't know what else I can do.

I do.

No.

I'm not going to buy her a Jack Marcel dress.

No. By now, it's the principle of the thing.

And $500 is a lot of principles.

Now, will you help me? Sure. Okay.

Lucy!

Come out here, honey. The nurses are here.

Come on, sweetheart.

For me, I'm staying on my hunger strike.

Oh.

Now, honey, you've got to eat something. You can't go on like this.

No, no, I'm fine.

Oh, Lucy, no dress is worth all of this.

Don't worry about me. Somehow food doesn't mean a thing to me anymore.

Oh, food.

Oh, honey.

Here's the lunch.

Come on, everybody, let's eat. Sit down, Ethel. Okay.

I had a beautiful... for lunch, Sandra. Oh, fine. Come right in. Look at that.

Oh, Ricky.

Isn't that gorgeous? Isn't that wonderful?

Gorgeous, hmm?

Look at this, honey.

Bread. And look at that butter. Lots of butter with the bread. Isn't that nice?

Look, baby.

Look at this wonderful shrimp salad. You ever seen anything so beautiful in your

life?

Hmm?

Huh? Look, look, honey, look.

Look at that French pastry.

Hmm?

Isn't that...

and smell good? Come on, Lucy. Sit down and dig into this. Come on, baby.

Here, look. Look, nice piece of meat. Look at that.

No! No.

Now, honey, you got to eat something.

No. If you don't, I'll force it. You can't force me.

We'll wait and see.

Here, like a nice salad she works at. Look at this beautiful salad. Here.

No.

Lucy? Lucy?

Open your mouth Open your mouth I'll make you open your mouth

Okay.

You better put down your shopping list. Okay.

Let's see now.

Mustard. Mustard?

Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard. Mustard. Mustard.

Mustard on the award performance you gave in front of Ricky and Fred. You

had me believing you were starving.

Thank you.

Now then, what do you want me to bring you for dinner tonight?

Oh, I don't know. I'm kind of sick of sandwiches.

I'll bet.

How about a nice roast chicken?

Hey, that sounds good.

All righty. I'll see you later.

Okay. Anything else?

No, I've got to cut down.

If I stay on this hunger strike much longer, I'll be as fat as a pig.

Oh, wonderful.

I would have gotten you a great big one, but it wouldn't fit in my camera bag.

Oh, this is a beauty.

I don't know what's going to happen to you if you don't eat.

Honey.

Honey?

You win.

I couldn't stand to see you suffer anymore.

So I bought you a Jack Marcel dress.

I think it's a great tribute to your willpower.

Oh, thank you.

Here, you're too weak. I'll help you open it. Oh, no, that's all right. I'll

open it. I feel my strength coming back already.

I can hardly wait to try it on. Well, listen, let's go and eat something, and

then you can try it on. Oh, no, I want to try it on first, and then we'll eat.

You do? You want to try it on first? Yeah.

camera is this?

It's a, it's a, well... It looks like a roast

chicken. It's a 3D picture of a roast chicken. See the depth? It looks almost

real, doesn't it?

Lucy, you've been sneaking food in here all this time.

Yeah, and I know who was mother's little big fat helper.

I really have to give him my money back.

Well, listen, at those prices, I can afford to be a good egg, too.

Yeah, but usually you buy something, you know, and you're stuck. Yes.

Bonjour, monsieur.

Bonjour.

Hi.

Two coffees, please. Two coffees.

Well, I can't get over that, Lucy.

I'd sure like to get even with her. Well, you just did.

That's not enough.

Oh, come, come, come. Come, don't be bitter.

Yeah,

and some of the potatoes are still in it.

Hey, you know, Fred, that gives me an idea.

Oh, what is it? What do you mean?

I think I know a way how to get even with Lucy and at the same time show her

silly this high -fashion stuff is.

Well, let's hear it.

You know that little tailor across the hotel?

You mean where we had the band uniforms cleaned?

Right. Now, suppose I make a deal with this guy to make me a...

A completely crazy dress out of a real potato sack.

And then I get a Jack Marcel label and put it on it. You think that Lucy would

do it? Of course she would.

Only make a two percent effect.

For a couple of extra bucks, I'd like to have Ethelwell dressed, too.

Oh, wait a minute. We need hats.

Hats? Yeah, what about hats?

What can we do with that?

Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

How do I look?

Simply stunning.

Thank you.

There's another one down there right like it.

Fred, please.

Lucy wouldn't be caught dead wearing the same bucket.

Hey, look.

What? That would make a wonderful hut.

Right across the street. All I see over there is a horse.

That's right.

If he doesn't mind giving up his feedback...

Oh,

honey, so you have to go home without a Jacques Marcel dress. You've been moping

about it for two days. I haven't even started to mope. I intend to mope all

way across Europe.

I will be the mopiest mopier... What's that?

Well, honey, the other day, when you called me an Indian giver, it got me.

Right here.

So, I bought you a whole new outfit.

Oh, hi. Come here, Ethel. I'm no packer. Here's an outfit for you, too.

For me?

on the show. These are next year's fashions. Well, you're the only two

the world who have these. Oh, boy.

Gee, that's unusual fabric.

Well, leave it to Jacques. What an inspired use of burlap.

Ethel, you never look better in your life.

I was certainly attracting attention.

You think maybe these outfits are a little too extreme?

No, honey, on you it looks great.

I never wore burlap before.

Honey, but you were made for it.

Oh, Ethel, look, there's Jacques Marcel.

He's staring at us? Yes.

That's why he's laughing.

I hope he thinks we're doing the clothes justice.

Oh, that hat on you.

You like it? Yeah.

I'm so thrilled.

They really look lovely, don't they?

You know, I think I'll go after him and thank him for letting us scoop the

fashion world. I think we should.

Why not? I think it's a very nice gesture.

Thank you for letting us be a few months ahead. I love you.

I wouldn't do it if I were you.

What do you like?

for this just like I fell for that hunger strike.

What? What? I had a little tailor make those dresses out of real potato sacks.

All right, thank you very much.

They're having a private showing.

Nobody can get in there till after two o 'clock. Well, don't you think you're

getting away with a thing? We're going to the restaurant next door, and on the

stroke of two, you are going up to Jacques Marcel's and buy me the dress I

no matter what it costs.

All right, all right. All right, and don't try to get out of your bargain.

I won't.

And, Ricky, you've got to pay for half of Ethel's dress for getting me into

this. I told you we shouldn't have taken these girls over there. All right, all

right. I said I'd do it. Come on. I wish I never heard of Jacques Marcel.

I'm sorry for humiliating us that way in a public place. I never heard of

anybody doing anything quite like that. Come on, let's go.

Sometimes I wish I never left Cuba.

Thank you.

Oh, that was good coffee, wasn't it?

Yeah. Lucy, look.

What? There's Jacques Marcel.

Luthi is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at the same time.