Original subtitles

And now, I Love Lucy.

Oh, Nicky Paris, isn't it wonderful?

You happy?

I haven't a worry in the world.

That's good.

Quite a village, eh, Rick?

Isn't it a great place?

Lucy, I'm so excited. I don't think I can stand it. What a town. Hasn't

a bit. Everything is exactly the same as it was in 1918.

Present company accepted.

Yeah.

Listen, Fred, I have to see my French agent today so you can take the day off.

day off in Paris?

Hot ziggity!

You are coming on a sightseeing tour with Lucy and me.

Cold ziggity.

Oh, Ethel, you and Fred take that tour.

What are you going to do? Oh, I kind of want to get off by myself.

You know, feel the pulse of the city. Get the true flavor of Paris.

Well, you can't go running around Paris all by yourself.

Why not?

What about your French?

What about my French?

Well, Paris is a big city, and not knowing the language, you're liable to

into a lot of trouble.

Oh, Pooh, when you first came to the United States, you didn't get into a lot

trouble because you didn't know the language, did you?

I'm married, aren't I?

She told me that I do meant pleased to meet you.

And then she introduced me to the preacher.

Just a minute.

What are you doing?

I'm looking up the French for... While you're at it, look up I am lost. Take me

to the Royal Hotel.

Oh, now, honey, what can happen? How can I get lost? I have my French

dictionary. I have my guidebook. I have my map of Paris.

Don't try to fight it, Rick. Just call the American Embassy and tell them to

stand by.

All right, well, be careful, honey, eh? I will. Don't worry about me. Just give

me some money.

All right.

I think I'll just wander around, and who knows, I may discover an undiscovered

artist whose paintings have never been discovered.

Sure, sure, you do that, yeah.

Well, now that's possible. I read about a man who bought a painting for $2 .98,

and ten years later it was worth $50 ,000.

Well, well, get me two dozen.

20 bucks.

Take this to the American Express office and they'll give you 7 ,000 francs.

7 ,000 francs? Wow!

I like this better than English money.

It's the same in dollars.

Oh, I know, but it sounds like more.

Be careful now. I will. Have a good time in your sightseeing. So long, Eric. See

you later, honey. Bye. See you later.

We'll get down to the express office with you, Lucy. I want to change some

and pick up the mail. Okay.

Well, Fred, I can't go looking like this. Why not?

What's the matter with it? It looks all right to me.

It's up in curlers.

Isn't that the way you always wear it?

No, that's not the way I always wear it.

We'll see you down at the express office later, honey. Okay.

Bye. Bye.

Pretty, it is pretty.

Pardon. C 'est joli.

Le painting.

C 'est joli.

Oh, thank you very much.

Oh, you speak English.

A little.

Oh.

Are you famous?

Not yet.

Don't go away. I'll be right back.

Who,

me?

Madame is... Madame is going in there to exchange American currency, n 'est -ce

pas?

Oui.

There is no need for madame to go all that way in there. I can do it for you

right here.

Oh? And besides, in there they give you only 350 francs for a dollar.

I can give you 450.

Wow.

Gee, it's lucky I met you.

Ah, oui.

I see madame has there a 20 dollar.

Yes. I can give you 9 ,000 francs.

Oh, well, uh... Just a second.

How come you can give me more than the American Express can?

Ah. Well, madame, it is very simple.

You see that this big building?

Huh? They pay high rent.

I work out of those.

As you Americans say, no overhead.

Oh, well, that makes sense. Okay.

Merci.

Merci, madame. What? Oh, uh...

I have some friends meeting me here, and I'm quite sure they'd like to exchange

their money, too. Ah, bon, madame, bon.

Bon? Bon.

Bon?

Oh, bon.

C 'est très bon.

Ah.

Evidemment, madame parle et comprend beaucoup de français.

Hein?

Evidemment, madame parle et comprend beaucoup de français.

Well, there you are.

I just said, evidently, Madame speaks and understands a great deal of French.

Oh, I do, I do.

Madame,

au revoir. Oh, but my friends aren't here yet. Yes, I know, Madame, but I

remembered an appointment.

Oh, on the other side of town. Au revoir. Oh.

I just missed it. I met the most wonderful man, and he changed my money

me 450 francs for each dollar.

A hundred extra francs for every buck?

Yeah. Where is the guy? Where is he? He's gone.

Will he be back? I don't know. Look, I'll give you half of mine.

Here. You give me ten dollars, I'll give you 4 ,500 francs. Oh, here. Thanks,

Lucy. Oh, that's awful. I swear to you. All right. Thank you. Come on. We'll go

and get the mail. Oh, I'm sorry you weren't here. He was a wonderful man.

Thank you.

How much do you want for it?

Oh, I never sell my paintings.

You never sell them?

No.

Never. I could not sell my paintings. You see, they are a part of me. I could

not sell a picture any more than I could sell my arm.

Well, if you never sell your paintings, how do you expect to be discovered?

It is always the same.

When I die, then I will be discovered.

Look, I just have to have one of your paintings. I'll give you 500 francs for

that.

Oh, I'm sorry, madame.

This picture is my life. It took me three years to paint.

600 francs?

Sell three years of my life for 600 francs.

700?

Madame, I told you no.

I think I would turn down even a thousand francs.

A thousand?

Well, take it.

Oh, oh, well, thank you very much.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Be very careful with it, madame. Oh, I will. You see, it is still wet. Yes,

I will. I'll go right back to the hotel with it. Oh, thank you so much. By the

way, what is your name?

Pierre Charpentier.

Pierre Charpentier.

You see, after you die and become famous, I want to be able to tell my

that I discovered you and that I have an original Charpentier.

It was awfully nice discovering you, Pierre.

Oh, it was wonderful being discovered.

Au revoir. Au revoir.

Thank you.

I'm coming.

I told him not to forward these Christmas cards.

Just a minute, Fred.

Bonjour, madame.

Bonjour. Comment allez -vous?

Je vais bien.

Vous pouvez vous prendre cette table ici. Vous pouvez faire très beau aujourd

'hui. Vous êtes très bien.

Parfaitement bien. Vous en pouvez?

Merci.

Remenu, madame.

Merci. Je reviens tout de suite avec le vin dans une seconde.

Pardon? Je ne peux pas, madame.

Come on over, folks.

And here we have a typical Parisian sidewalk café.

Oh, there are hundreds of little out -of -the -way café houses like this in the

suburbs, but here you see only the true native... Frenchman. Hello. You're that

true lady Frenchman.

Lucy. Hi.

Lucy.

It's a small world, isn't it?

Tourists.

I don't understand English.

Pardon, madame. Pardon, madame et monsieur.

No individual sightseeing. Oh, she's a friend of mine. No, but I'm sorry. Your

boss is ready to leave.

Allez, allez.

Allez, allez, allez.

Les Américains.

Les Américains.

Les Américains.

Madame, avez -vous choisi?

It is very difficult to choose here.

Ah, oui, madame. Eh bien, permettez -moi de recommander les tripes à la mode de

camp. Tripes? No, no, no.

Ah, madame. Alors, je vous suggère la spécialité de la maison, les escargots

Bourgogne. Spécialité?

Spécialité de la maison.

Ah, si. Yes. Oui.

Good. Bon.

Very hot.

Very hot.

Waiter, this food has snails in it.

Snails, snails.

Oh, escargot.

C 'est excellent, madame.

Am I supposed to eat this?

I miss pussy.

Oh, oui, madame. Mangez, bien sûr.

Maybe if I had some ketchup.

Ketchup.

Ketchup.

I think an American cousin of yours ate my geranium plant.

Oh, 400 francs. Why don't you say so?

Keep the change.

For vous, for vous.

Merci, merci.

Contrefeu, madame, contrefeu!

Oh, c 'est dans mes pattes. C 'est vrai.

Je parle espagnol.

Espagnol. Si, senor.

Parle français.

No, je parle espagnol.

Espagnol. Oh,

fichez

-moi la paix. C 'est pas ça.

Do you hear me? I didn't know it. Now I can explain everything.

Now you listen to me. I am no crook. I am an American.

Hey,

that's me.

Now, I know that is a very bad picture of me, but that is my passport, and I'm

sorry I just didn't have time to get a better picture, but that is me. Now,

look.

Now, look, I demand to call my husband.

What? I demand to call...

husband, Montmery, is a big band leader.

Yeah, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom,

boom,

What happened? What are you doing here? I was standing outside the American

Express office, and a man changed some money for me, and it turned out to be

counterfeit. And then they tried to make me eat snails for lunch, and then they

arrested me. And if you say I told you so, I'll punch you right in the nose.

Well, what's the matter? Won't they believe you? Well, nobody understands

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. They're going to send me to jail.

Monsieur, parlez -vous français?

They want to know if you speak French.

No, no, I know, I know.

No, no.

What are they talking about? How would I know?

Now, you just take your time.

Now,

voici mon idée.

I will speak to you, you will speak to him, he will speak to him, and he will

speak to the lady. Let's go.

He speaks to me, I speak to him, you speak to him, and he speaks to her.

She will speak to him, he will speak to me.

I will speak to you, you speak to the lady.

Ah, very good idea.

Very good idea.

What is?

Oh, the sergeant only speaks French.

Now, this other cop here, he speaks French and German.

And this fellow, he speaks German and Spanish.

Oh.

So what?

He's going to ask the questions and we'll translate them to you. Oh, good.

I

got

it from a man on the street, but I didn't know it was

counterfeit.

Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha!

Ha!

I want to make you know one thing, that the one who falsifies money goes to jail

for forced labor for life.

I am innocent.

I am innocent.

I am innocent.

Well,

if she pays him back the rest, he can go.

Listen, thanks to me, you got to do something that very few Americans get to

You got to see the inside of a French jail.

Thanks to you, we almost spent the rest of our lives on Devil's Island.

Oh, come on. Now, will you forget it? It's all over now.

Now, forget it. All right.

Besides, I got a surprise for you. For me, what?

I bought you a painting.

You bought...

I Love

Lucy is a Desilu

production. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at the same time.