Original subtitles

And now, I love Lucy.

Hey, sailing, sailing over the boundary maze.

on board ship. Oh, I'll say it is. Weren't we lucky to have such wonderful

weather? It's just sensational.

Where were you? We waited for you in the dining room.

Oh, Ricky and I had breakfast in here. It was so romantic. Just the two of us.

Come on in, honey. Okay.

Gee,

I feel wonderful.

This trip's going to be like a second honeymoon. Don't you feel that way,

You forget I'm married to Fred.

Can you imagine anything making him romantic?

I can just see the two of you after a couple of days at sea, standing at the

rail in the moonlight, and you'll be holding his hand.

If we're standing by the rail, I'll be holding his head.

Or he'll be maneuvering to throw me overboard.

Well, for Ricky and me, it's going to be just one long romantic interlude.

Five whole days of being together and having...

What fun.

Will you wave to me once in a while so I won't get lonely?

Oh, you've got to put Fred in the mood. How?

Well, look, here's the ship's newspaper.

Whole schedule of activities.

10 .30 shuffleboard tournament, 11 .30 ping pong, 1 .30 deck tennis, 2 .30

bridge tournament, 4 o 'clock tea dancing. I'm going to sign Ricky and me

everything. Fred won't go for any of that stuff.

Well, then, you just come along with us. Oh, fine.

Just what you've always wanted. on your second honeymoon, a chaperone.

Don't worry, it'll all work out.

Hi, Apple.

Oh, hi, honey.

Gee, are we going to have a wonderful day. Look at this schedule.

10 .30 shuffleboard, 11 .30 ping pong, 1 .30 deck tennis. Hold it, hold it, hold

it, hold it.

I got a schedule, too.

Listen to this.

10 .30 band rehearsal, 11 .30 luncheon concert, 2 .30 cabin tea dance, 4 .30

first class tea dance, 7 .30 dinner concert.

8 .30 playing Barbary Tavern. 9 .30 playing boat and bottle bar.

Well, honey, are you going to be that busy every day?

I'm afraid so.

Well, aren't you going to get any time for any of these things?

I'm afraid not, honey.

Oh, can't you ping one little pong?

Now, look, honey, when we first talked about this trip, I said that I was going

to be very busy and I wouldn't have much time to spend with you.

And you said, that's all right, dear.

And I said, are you sure?

And you said... What did you do? Tape record the whole conversation?

Now, Lucy, that's the way it's got to be. So why don't you make the best of

huh?

Well... Come on, give me a smile.

Come on.

That's my girl.

Oh, you mean on the whole trip I'm not going to give... What happened with that

smile? You mean on the whole trip I'm not going to give... Come on, come on.

Be a good girl.

Maybe after we're out at sea for a couple of days I can get some time off.

I'll see you later.

Oh, some second honeymoon. I'm not even going to see my husband for five days.

Well, look at it like this. You haven't lost a husband. You've gained a ping

-pong partner.

Well,

I guess you're better than nothing.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, I didn't really mean that. I can't afford to offend you.

Oh, that's all right. I can't afford to be offended.

Well... I'll change my clothes. We might as well sign up for something. Oh,

that's going to be great. Two lonely dames.

Oh, there you are, baby doll.

I've been looking all over this boat for you, you little dickens.

Come on, honeybunch, let's not waste... one single precious second of this trip.

Fred, what's in those seasick pills you've been taking?

Now, sweetie pie, is that any way for you to talk to your apple dumpling?

Fred, what's the matter with you?

Nothing, sweetheart.

It's this ocean voyage, the sea air.

You and I together.

You just guessed me.

Yeah, in the head.

Now listen, Ethel, this could be a second honeymoon, so don't louse it up.

Of course I do, honey. Look, we can play in all these tournaments and win them.

Now, will you come with me? Oh, anywhere, honey.

Anywhere.

Okay,

Ethel, I'm ready.

Oh, hi, Fred. Hi. Lucy.

What? I guess you'll have to find yourself another ping -pong partner.

How come?

Well, we're going to be on our second honeymoon, too.

The love bug has been...

I thought Fred had been vaccinated for that.

I'll go and get my sneakers, and then we'll sign up for the ping -pong

tournament.

Bye.

Bye.

Isn't he cute?

Cute? Oh, boy, if the sea air affects him like this and we get back to New

I'm going to sell the apartment building and buy a houseboat.

Well, if you two lovebirds would be very happy.

You can play the games with us. Oh, no, no. Three's a crowd. Oh, come on now.

We'll get you another part.

Mr.

and Mrs. Theodore Osterlander III, ping pong.

Yes, sir.

We'd like to sign up Mr.

and Mrs. Fred Murth. Ping pong, shuffleboard, deck tennis, or bridge.

Oh, you want to sign up for all of them, huh?

Isn't that right, honeybunch?

That's right, honey.

Second honeymoon.

Isn't it, baby? Yes, it is.

All right, Mr. and Mrs. Fred Merch. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Ricardo.

Hello. I'd like to sign up for everything, but I'm particularly good at

pong. I really like that game.

Well, who will your partner be?

Oh, well, I, at the moment, don't have a partner, but I thought perhaps... Well,

I'll play with anyone.

Well, I'll do what I can to get a partner for you, Mrs. Ricardo, but right

all I have is couples.

Yes. Well, I'll wait outside.

All right.

Oh, Freddy.

Ethel, what's the name of this boat?

The SS Constitution. Why?

Well, from the way everybody's paired up, I thought maybe it was the S .S.

Noah's Ark.

Oh, honey. I'll see you outside.

Pardon me.

But do you play ping -pong?

Well, as a matter of fact, I do. Not very well, but I do like the game. So do

and I... Well, dear, they're ready for us. Oh, darling.

Would you excuse me? Oh, surely.

Get around here.

Sit.

Stay.

Rocky and I had a nice walk.

You play ping pong?

Well,

I always knew you were my best friend, but I didn't know you'd be my own.

to leave me, will you? You're going to stick with me, pal? You're going to...

Oh,

pardon me, Mrs. Ricardo, but I think I found you a partner.

Oh, really?

Yes, his name is Kenneth Hamilton.

Kenneth Hamilton.

I'll ask him to come over and see you. Well, thank you very much.

Hello. Hello.

You looking for someone?

Yes, why?

My name is Kenneth Hamilton.

sitting here in the room with me. Shouldn't you be somewhere?

No, I still got three minutes before I have to start the dance. Oh, goody,

goody, gumdrop. Three whole minutes just for me.

Never mind.

It says here you played in the shuffleboard contest.

Not only played, we won.

Oh.

Who's Kenneth Hamilton?

Kenny? Oh, he's a doll. He's so cute.

keep the cup that we won, but I said, Kenny, dear, you keep the cup. It will

remind you always of a wonderful afternoon. Wait, wait, wait.

Why do you mean you said Kenny, dear?

Who is this guy, anyway?

Oh, he's just a nice young man, unmarried, looking for someone to have a

fun with aboard ship.

Look, Lucy, you watch out.

There's a lot of wolves aboard these big ocean liners.

tonight. Well, you're not going to dance with him tonight.

Oh, well, who will I be dancing with you?

Now, you know I'm going to have to be working.

Well, then I'll just have to dance every dance with Kenny. You don't have to

dance no dances with Kenny.

Thank you. I'm pleased to meet you. My name is Kenneth Hamilton.

I am pleased to meet you, Kenny.

My mother says you should keep this.

Thank you, Kenny.

I'll see you tonight.

And don't forget, she said she was going to dance with you.

I won't. As a matter of fact, she told me she's going to dance every...

but let's face it, I'm a seagoing sorehead.

Hey, kitten, how about a little walk out on the deck in the moonlight?

You know what I mean?

Yes, sir.

Will you excuse us?

Gladly. Let's go, Tiger.

He is one, too.

Tiger?

They're on their second honeymoon, haven't you heard?

Come on, sit down.

At least you can do a talk with me for a while. I got a few minutes.

Well, what have you planned for tomorrow?

Well... Pardon me, Mr. Ricardo. Captain Jacobson would like to talk to you.

Okay. I'm awfully sorry. Oh, that's all right. Go right ahead. I'm all talked

out anyway.

See you later.

Ricky?

Yes, ma 'am.

What time do you finish tonight?

Oh, about 2 .30, I guess. Well, I'm going to wait for you. We got to have

time together.

It'll be awfully late. I don't care. I'll wait on the promenade deck.

Okay.

Deal.

Marco, play it, son.

Laughter.

on the stairs with his wife without somebody butting in.

I'm sorry, friend.

I'll see you tomorrow, Mark, for the night.

Now to rehearsal.

Oh, my dear.

Oh, brother, my beat.

Yeah, I know, but you just forget all about your work now. This is fun time.

Yep.

There's no music.

Well, I'll hum.

Honey,

I'd love to dance with you, but I've been standing on my feet all day long.

Oh, of course you have, dear.

You want to take off your shoes?

I like to take off my feet.

Well, forget all about dancing, but we'll just stand here and look at that

yellow, romantic moon, huh?

I thought this was going to be our second honeymoon.

It is, honey, it is.

Well, you haven't even kissed me.

Oh, that's right.

Excuse me, honey.

Excuse me.

We'll just stand here and look at the moon, huh? All right.

helping you out on dry land, but this is the high seas. International law

prevails. It's just a simple little thing.

Okay, what is it? What do you want to do? Kidnap Ricky.

A simple little thing?

Oh, no, I'm not going to have anything to do with it. Ethel, aren't you...

Aren't you willing to help me spend just one evening, just a few fleeting golden

moments alone with my husband?

Well, as long as you put it that way.

I'll do it. Okay, now, when he comes in at 7 o 'clock and goes in there to

change his clothes, I'm going to lock the door.

And I'm going to give you the key.

Where will I be?

Out on the deck.

I'll hand you the key through the porthole thusly, and then you disappear.

Uh, what happens when Ricky doesn't show up on the bandstand?

Good thinking.

you tell Marco Ricky isn't feeling well and then you disappear.

Uh, one more question, Raffles.

Yes? What about the telephone?

I have disconnected the wires.

Good girl!

Now, shall we synchronize our watches?

Okay.

503. 503.

Not yet, Ethel. You're early.

Well, Tiger's waiting for me on the upper deck, and I don't want to keep him

waiting.

Listen, you've waited for 25 years. You can wait a few more minutes.

Hi. Hi, dear.

How you been doing?

Oh, nothing much. I suppose you want to get dressed and rush right off, so the

bathroom is yours, dear.

Thank you.

eyes for me?

Yes, ma 'am.

You and I ain't gonna spend the entire evening together.

I figured I could get the whole night off. Oh, honey, how wonderful.

Oh, Ricky, that's just great.

Dinner first, and then dancing, and then a walk around the bag.

Let's go give him the key. The key?

What's the key?

We finally got to be alone together, didn't we? Yes, baby.

Herb Litton, Tyler McVeigh, Louie Nicoletti, and Paula Winslow.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at the same time.