Original subtitles

And now, I Love Lucy.

Oh, Lucy, this party's a wonderful idea. I think so.

I still can't think why we're having this party for Ricky. Oh, it's just

something you do in Hollywood, Fred. When a person finishes a picture, you

a party for him. Oh. Oh.

Gee, Ethel, those hors d 'oeuvres you bought are just scrumptious. Thanks. But

caviar, you shouldn't have done that.

Oh, why not? We enjoyed it. After all, how many Hollywood stars do we know? But

caviar, five dollars a jar.

Ow!

Five bucks for a jar of fish eggs?

Hold on, Fred. We'll take anything out of it.

I borrowed it for a party.

We'll talk about it later.

What a beautiful cake.

Isn't it dreamy? That's great.

To my darling, another Marlon.

Marlon?

Marlon Brando. Do you know anybody else named Marlon?

Sure, Monroe.

Marlon Monroe.

Oh, Fred.

I'm going to get the baby. I promised him he could come to the party. I

want to disappoint the little doll.

Oh, boy.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, now, Fred, no sneak previews.

Well, you'd think I could have one bite.

After all, my life savings are tied up in those hors d 'oeuvres.

Oh,

hi, son.

He's so sleepy.

He was almost asleep.

Hide the cake, hide the cake.

Happy party to you.

Happy party to you.

Happy end of the...

I bought the caviar.

Aren't you nice?

Thank you, thank you. Say happy party, Papa.

Hiya there, partner.

He's so sleepy. Hi, Larson.

Yeah. Show him the cake, honey. Show him the cake. Oh, look at that beautiful

cake.

To my darling, another Marlon.

Well, I guess Brando and I do have a lot in common.

Yeah, I can't understand either of you when you talk.

back to bed, honey. You can have your cake in the morning. Say goodnight. All

right, son.

I'll save you a nice big piece. Oh, he wanted it. I'll save you a nice big

piece. Here, take them, honey. Oh, honey.

In the morning, sweetie.

That's all right, son.

It's so late. I thought it was too early.

Well, I shouldn't have brought him out, but I'll be right in, son.

I'm sorry, honey.

Well, how'd the picture go, dear?

Well, everybody seems to think it's going to be a hit.

A big hit. Wonderful.

Well, here is to Hollywood. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait for us. Wait

us out here, hon.

There we are.

Here is to Hollywood.

Here is to Hollywood.

It's been fun, but it'd be nice to get back home.

Home?

Sure. I'm finished with the pictures. Nothing to keep us here now.

Well, I know, but we can't leave Hollywood yet.

Why not?

Because there are a million things we haven't seen.

The Coconut Grove?

Alvaro Street?

Eva Gardner?

at Prince of Gromit's Chinese Theater.

Well, I'm sorry, honey, but I got to go back to work.

I got to go back to work at the Tropicana.

You know, the studio's not paying for this anymore. I am.

Oh, all right, Warden. When do we leave?

Well, just as soon as you can get ready.

How long will it take you?

Six years.

Lucy. Well, if you're going to bargain, I want to start high.

Come on, Lucy.

Four years.

Come on.

mean anything and we have no souvenirs to take home. No souvenirs? Well, hardly

any. What do you call this?

You got a whole box full of junk.

Junk? Do you call an orange autographed by Robert Taylor junk?

Look at this old dried up thing. You can't even read his name.

The letters are all shriveled together.

Oh, they are not. It's very clear. It says Robert Taylor.

This old tire grapefruit. That says Richard Widmark.

It does.

Well, it did when it was young, right there in that deep crevice.

Sure, it says, uh, Ricky Gray, Ricky... Rubber killer, Ricky Widmark.

Look at this.

An old tin can. Just a minute. That...

This is not an ordinary old tin can.

This just happens to be an old tin can that was squashed by Cary Grant's left

rear wheel.

Oh, well, that's different. Yeah, well.

What's this?

Lana Turner's lipstick print.

Which one of you morons is saving this?

I am!

Before you smear it.

Menus from the Brown Derby. Yes.

Match covers from Cirrus.

An ashtray from the Beverly Hills. So?

Chopsticks from the Beachcomber.

You got enough stuff here. Don't worry. We have not, Ricky. We just haven't been

anyplace. Now, you just got to give us more time. We saved a lot of places. I

really wanted to see what you were making. You said that you were going

I'll tell you what.

We'll stay one more week. One more week. That's all.

One more week.

We'll start the first thing in the morning. What do we see first?

I vote for Catalina. I vote for Catalina. I vote for Grauman's Chinese.

We got the majority.

I got the car.

Grauman's Chinese.

Oh, hurry up, Fred. You've been focusing on that thing for 30 minutes. We

haven't got all day.

All right, all right. I'm ready now. Come on and look at me, Ethel.

Come on and look at me and smile, Ethel. Make up your mind. I can't do both.

Watch for the little birdie now.

One, two.

Turn it up to the next picture. Oh, look at the glorious Swanson's footprint.

Oh, doesn't she have tiny little feet? I'll say about size one and a half, I

would say.

Oh, Harold Lloyd. Harold Lloyd's footprint.

Oh, look, his glasses.

Isn't that cute?

How do you suppose he ever did that?

Oh, Lucy Tyrone Powers.

What are you doing?

Comparing my leg to Betty Grable's.

Oh, it looks identical.

Oh, what do you and me maybe, but I doubt if it would fool Harry James.

Oh, look, Joan Crawford's footprints.

Oh, my feet are smaller than Joan Crawford's. Let me try.

Mine aren't. Hey, look, my feet are smaller than Gary Cooper's. No kidding?

Yeah, look.

Mine aren't.

Try, Ethel. Trigger.

Oh, Ethel, look.

John Wayne.

Oh, boy.

Yes, his footprints give me goosebumps.

Oh, we've got to go see his new picture, Blood Alley. I hear it is just

wonderful. It was so exciting. He plays the part of a daring adventure, and his

block is loose.

I've got an idea.

I don't like that look on your face. I'm going to take home a souvenir to end

all souvenirs. John Wayne's block.

Well, you'll need it, because when Ricky finds out what you've done, he'll knock

yours off.

Now, let's see how we will go about it.

We? Oh, count me out. I wouldn't touch that with a ten -foot pole.

Oh, now.

Now, listen here, Ethel. How would you like to be the only woman in New York

City with a friend... who has John Wayne's footprints under her bed.

Well, then, how would you like to be the only woman in New York City who has

John Wayne's footprints under her own bed?

Every other week.

Oh, okay.

Oh,

Lucy, how are we going to steal a big cement block like that without being

We'll come here late at night when nobody else is around. We'll bring a

and we'll pry it up. Okay.

Now, we'll... Ooh, wait just a second. What do you do about the space it'll

leave?

We'll bring some quick -drying cement, fill it in, and be dry by morning.

Lucy, you're a natural -born crook. Thank you.

Now, we'll need cement, a bucket, a trowel, a crowbar, and a car to make a

getaway.

Now, is there anything else we'll need?

Yeah, a good lawyer.

Fred! Yes, Fred!

I heard the whole thing.

You two dames have had some pretty nutty schemes in your time, but this one is

regular Bellevue bait.

Oh, come on, Fred, help us. I will not, and you're not going to do it either.

Oh, come on, please, Fred. Ethel, Ethel, Ethel, never mind. It's a real crazy

idea. Fred's right. Just forget it. I'll go and get the car.

I better put you two squirrels back in your cage.

Lucy, what's happened to you? I never saw you give up so easy.

Who's giving up? I just want to throw him off the fence so he doesn't go

blabbing to Ricky. Oh, sorry, Chief.

Now, here's what we're going to do, and this is the way to get this thing out of

here.

I thought Ricky would never go to sleep. Oh, Fred was a little restless, too. He

didn't start to snortle. His head hit the pillow.

Oh, Lucy, I'm scared. What if somebody sees us?

Listen, Ethel, if you're going to get chicken on a routine souvenir hunt...

say,

we'd better hurry. This event's getting hard. Really?

Maybe I'd better hide this bucket till we need it, huh? Okay. All right, I'll

put it over here. All right. Whoa.

This is moving it. Okay.

I got it.

I got it. That's what I do.

Now, wait. Wait till I lift it up a little bit. Yeah. And then put your

right... Now, wait. Oh, be careful.

Now, get a good, firm grip on it.

It's heavier than I thought.

All right. There. You got it? I got it.

Oh, God. Oh, all right. I got it.

Get a firm grip.

You ready?

Somebody's coming.

Oh, don't panic. Maybe they'll walk right by.

Oh, they're coming closer.

Can you stand up?

Oh,

really, honey, I came down here this afternoon and I see them. I'm bigger

any of these he -men.

Really? Yeah, look.

Gary Cooper.

Oh, darling, you're wonderful.

I'm bigger than John Wayne, too.

You are? Yeah, come on, I'll show you.

Good evening.

You're right around here someplace.

Pardon me.

Are you sitting on John Wayne?

Who, me? No.

Are you sure?

Positive. She's sitting on Bill Holden.

She's president of the Bill Holden fan club, and once a year she comes here to

sit on his signature.

Very funny. I could have sworn. Come on, honey. Let's get out of here.

Well, if I sit on a crowbar.

Now, what do I do? Let me lift it up, son. Get my hand out. One hand. Are you

all right?

Just what I needed. Two Chinese back scratchers.

Oh, honey, maybe we better forget the whole thing. Oh, no. I may go home

any fingers, but I'm not going home empty -handed.

Come on, now. Give me a hand with this. Let's get it out.

Are you all right over there? Yeah.

Can you tilt it a little for me?

Just as I thought, a couple

of cement snatchers.

Fred, how did you know we were here? But you said he was home snoring. He was

snoring when I left. What woke you up? You did.

I did? I wasn't even there.

That's what did it. There was nobody poking me in the ribs and telling me to

roll over.

Now put that down. Oh, Fred, the hardest part is over. All we got to do now is

get it back to New York.

Put that down. I'll beg the one home.

I won't move out of here until I... Two cops coming up the block. Oh, easy.

Oh, easy. Oh, easy. Oh.

Who's going first? I am. I am.

Oh, come on. Let's hide. Where?

Where? Behind those bushes. Get in there.

Hurry up.

Get in there.

Oh. What's the matter?

Oh, my foot's in the bucket.

since I've been on this beach. Yeah, there's always some joker trying to fit

feet into the star's footprints.

Well, it takes all kinds.

Yeah. Take a look at the side door, will you? Yeah.

Yep.

Well, time out.

Don't tell anybody, huh?

Boy, that was close. Come on. I'll say it was. Let's get out of here. Come on.

Hurry up.

I can't hurry.

It didn't harden.

Oh, didn't it?

Well, we can get it off when we get home. Come on, we gotta get out of here.

off before Ricky sees it, he'll kill me.

Oh, brother, if he ever finds out what we've done.

Well, at least you can get away from him. I have to stay here and take it.

like a sitting cement duck.

That's true.

Listen, if Ricky should come barging in here, you both pick me up, aim my foot,

and we'll try to ram him.

Oh, Lucy.

There must be some way to get her foot out of there. Now, let's everybody

What are we going to do?

I don't know, but I'd hate to be the next shoe clerk that waits on you.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Ricky.

Ricky? Huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

We were bed asleep.

Lucy? Lucy who?

Oh, that Lucy.

Yeah, she's here.

What's she doing here?

and she couldn't sleep, so she just wandered over here.

No, I don't think there's any reason.

Ricky?

Lucy, what are you doing here?

Lucy! Yeah, what?

Oh,

hello, dear.

What are you doing here? Oh, I was restless and couldn't sleep.

Well, come on home. No, no, I can't seem to sleep in my bed. This couch is so

comfortable, it just makes you want to drop right off.

Good night, dear.

Good night, Betty.

Good night, Ray.

when you're going home.

clothes on and you have your foot in what seems to be a block of cement.

I just thought there might be a little explanation.

You'd think so, wouldn't you?

All right, Lucy, let's have it.

Well, I was restless and couldn't sleep.

You see, I have this foot condition.

Lucy, I want you to tell me the truth. Yeah, well, I can't think with all this

cement wrapped around my foot.

Oh, is that where your brains are?

Oh, here.

I'll look it up for you.

Sure.

Well, before you do, I better take this.

Well, I... We went to Grauman's Chinese Theater on a routine souvenir hunt, and

while we were there, we saw this hunk of cement with John Wayne's footprints on

it, and we decided to swipe this hunk of cement, and while we were doing it, the

cops came along, and we got scared, and we tried to hide in some bushes, and

that's just where Ethel had put a big bucket of cement, and my foot got caught

in it.

Well, you told me a lot of crazy stories in your time, but this is the craziest.

Now, come on, Fred. Ethel, what's the truth? She's telling the truth. That's

truth. We got the block of cement right under the bed. Yeah, we'll show it to

you. It sounded kind of silly when she was going.

It's heavy, honey. John Wayne.

It's heavy. Oh, look out, Fred. See, Rick John Wayne? See?

See his footprints?

Lean it there.

Ay -yi -yi -yi -yi.

Mira!

What's he saying?

Well, I don't know, but I have an idea. It isn't hot diggity, just what I've

always wanted.

Lucy, you're taking that back right now. After all I went through to get it? No,

I don't want to, Ricky. Lucy, you take that back where it belongs.

Come on.

Well, okay.

Come on, Ethel. Give me a hand. Yeah.

Be careful.

It's heavy.

Be careful, Ethel. Don't drop it. Look out. Yeah. All right. You got it? Yeah.

Got it? Yeah. Okay.

We'll take it back.

That bagel, we're all going back to New York tomorrow morning.

Take it back, will you?

But it's all broken. Oh, just the corners are broken off. John, wait. I

want to go back to New York.

Fred, get that cement we've got left. We can cement in the corners when we put

it back in. Come on, Lucy. Oh, careful.

Come on now, Lucy.

Oh, Fred.

dropped it and it broke in ten million little pieces. What?

Where's Lucy?

Well, we heard the cops coming again and we started to run and that's how we

broke it.

Where is Lucy?

Oh, I kind of wanted to get you prepared.

You know, the last time she got her foot caught in a bucket.

She didn't do it again, did she?

The couple was played by Miss Gigi Pearson and Hal Gerard, and the

were Clarence Strait and Ben Neve.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at the same time.