Original subtitles

Honey, I'm going downstairs to get the New York papers. Can I get you anything?

Oh, will you mail my postcards for me?

Are you still writing postcards?

You must have written a hundred of them since we got out here. Well, I want to

share our trip with everybody.

We're having so much fun, I want our friends in New York to have sort of a

secondhand thrill.

Uh, honey?

Yeah? Do you feel all right?

Sure, why?

Come here, let me look at you.

I'm afraid maybe you're getting a cold.

Stick out your tongue.

What's the big idea?

Well, I've stamped so many cards, I'm all out of luck.

Here you are.

Okay. Now, remember, don't read them. Why not?

Because it's not nice to read other people's postcards.

Well, UNF will do it at home all the time.

Not until after they're mailed. It's illegal to read them before their

Oh.

All right, I won't read them.

Okay.

The rules you two have.

Lucy?

What? What do you mean by writing this to Lillian Appleby? You read them.

Yes, and it's a good thing I did.

What do you mean telling Lillian Appleby that you're going to be in a movie?

over. You stood right here and said you wouldn't read them. You walked out in

the hall and you read them. Lucy.

Honestly, you just don't know who you can trust anymore.

For heaven's sake, a man who will read a postcard after he said he won't will do

anything. Never mind all that.

I want to know all about this movie you're going to be in. I refuse to

anything with a sneak.

A snake.

All right, a snake.

Why did you tell Lillian Appleby that you were going to be in a movie?

Because I had to told her.

if I told Marion Strong first.

Did you tell all these people that you were going to be in a movie?

No. I didn't mention it to little Ricky.

I don't understand it. I don't see how you can say something that is not true.

How do you know it isn't true? It's true until it's untrue.

After all, Hollywood's looking for new faces.

Well, your face is not new. It is to them. They've never seen it before.

Ever since we've been out in Hollywood, I've been waiting for you to try to get

into the movies.

What took you so long?

I was lulling you into a false sense of security.

Yeah.

Well, now that you've brought the subject up, let me tell you something.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Is this going to be the one about how I'm a wife

and mother and my place is in the home?

No. Is it about one member of the family and show business being enough?

No. Oh, well, don't tell me you're going to use that ridiculous one about my not

having any talent.

Oh, you have a new one. Well, go ahead.

Here you are.

Here you are in pretty, sunny California.

Hundreds of people all over the world would give their right arm just for the

opportunity to visit here.

And what do you want to do?

You want to go to a studio and work from morning till night, six days a week.

Well, I... It's a beautiful climate.

There's hundreds of things to do, hundreds of places to go. You got your

pals, the Mercs, here with you to go wherever you want to go.

You got a brand new, beautiful Pontiac to take you there.

This could be one of the most wonderful and exciting experiences of your whole

life. Well, gee, I... Well, what do you want to do?

when I go to work.

I wish you'd use the one about my not having any talent.

This one's tough to fight.

Why, sure, honey. Why don't you forget all about being in the movies and have

fun, enjoy yourself.

Well, Ethel and I did want to go to Catalina next week.

Sure.

And maybe Pismo Beach.

Yes.

And then there's always Palm Springs.

Palm Springs.

precedent vacations there. That's true.

Hi, come in. Hi. Hi. Hey, are we going to have fun? I was just planning some

trips for us.

I'm afraid they'll have to wait a while. Yeah. Hi.

Tell them, Ethel. Well, we were just down in the coffee shop and we ran into

fellow who used to be in Vaudeville with us, Jimmy O 'Connor, and he's a

producer at your studio now, Ricky, and guess what? What?

He gave us parts in his new picture.

And we start tomorrow.

Isn't that exciting?

That's great.

What's the matter with you? I thought you'd be happy for us.

I am.

Well, you don't sound happy.

Look, honey, this won't change anything. The Mercer will probably only be in the

picture a day or two. Oh, no, it's for two whole weeks.

Congratulations.

What's the matter with her?

Well, just before you came in, I talked her out of wanting to get into the

movies and convinced her.

Then she could have a lot more fun just taking trips with you two.

Oh, dear.

Oh, now, don't you worry, Lucy. We'll take lots of trips together.

Just as soon as we wrap up our picture commitment.

Oh, sure, we'll still want to go to those places.

Well, we gotta go over to the wardrobe and get fitted for our costumes.

Hey, listen, I gotta go over to the studio, too. I'll drop you off. Oh,

Now, honey, don't be blue. Come on.

See you later, huh?

We'll see you later. So long, Lucy. Bye, there.

Imagine us getting in the movie. Yeah, yeah.

My heavens.

The man.

Hi, Miss Ricardo.

Oh, Bobby.

I brought up your cleaning.

Would you hang in the bedroom for me, please? Yes, ma 'am.

Enjoying your stay in Hollywood?

Hey, you got the red eight on the red nine.

Yeah, I thought it might spice up the game if I cheated a little.

Uh, Miss Ricardo, you won't be seeing me for a few days.

Oh, you going on a trip?

No, I got a part in the picture.

You have?

Yeah. Remember last time I was only a stooge?

Uh -huh. This time I got a line to read.

A whole line?

Yeah. Oh, it's a very dramatic scene. See, I... I play a hospital orderly.

this woman comes rushing in. Now, her hair's all messed up because she's very

upset because her husband's been in an accident.

Now, she sees me and she says, what room is my husband in?

Then I say, 423.

Sort of gets you right here, doesn't it?

4 '23". Yeah.

Boy, I got more talent than I thought.

No, you don't understand, Bobby.

You see, my husband is starring in a picture, and today my best friends at

Mercer's told me that they got parts in a picture, and now you tell me you got a

part. I just feel left out. I feel like an ugly duckling.

Well, that's ridiculous. You're prettier than any of us.

Oh, can you act?

Can I act?

Can I act?

What room is my husband in?

423. Thank you.

See?

Oh, you're great.

Yeah, well, thanks a lot.

I'm afraid my light's always going to be hidden under a bushel.

What about your husband? Can't he help you getting pictures?

You mean Ricky Ricardo, the Cuban bushel?

You just have to go out and let somebody else discover you.

How? Oh, a lot of people get discovered.

Why, there was, there was Champ Butler.

He was discovered parking cars.

And then there was Dorothy LaMoure. She was discovered running an elevator.

And then there was Lana Turner.

She was discovered at a soda fountain sitting on a stool.

Well, I don't think I'd be very good at parking cars, and elevators make me

dizzy, but I do know how to sit.

Well, great. Why don't you give it a whirl?

What? soda fountain was it? The one at Schwab's Drugstore, up on Sunset

Boulevard. Schwab?

Schwab's. Schwab's. Thanks a lot.

Come

in.

Hi. Oh, hi.

How did everything go?

Oh, Ricky, it was just wonderful. We got the cutest gay 90s costumes you ever

saw. The funniest thing happened in wardrobe.

Oh, now, Fred, I didn't think that was very funny. It was pretty funny.

What happened, Fred?

Well, we had tried on our costumes and were all dressed up in our own clothes,

ready to leave. Now, Fred... And the head of wardrobe accused Ethel of trying

sneak out with one of his bustles.

Oh, that was very funny.

How's Lucy?

I don't know. She wasn't home when I got here.

Beginning to worry about her a little bit. You know, she was so blue when I

left. Oh, she's probably just on site. Sure.

Oh, here she is. Oh, hi. Hi, Lucy.

Hi, honey.

Hi. Where you been? I was beginning to worry about you.

Well, I've been out not getting in the movies.

What are you talking about?

Well, after you three abandoned me today, I went and sat in Schwab's

so I could be discovered like Lana Turner.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I sat there all afternoon.

Well, what happened? You look kind of funny.

Yeah, well, you'd look kind of funny, too, if you just had three chocolate

malts, two hot fudge sundaes, a pineapple soda, and a banana split.

You ate all that?

I had to.

It was the only way I could keep my place at the counter.

They have a rule, no eat, no seat.

Oh, and nobody did any discovering.

Well, only me.

About an hour ago, I discovered I was getting green.

Well, at least she's not blue anymore.

Oh, dear, why don't I give up?

The only way I'll ever get in the movies is to buy a ticket.

Oh, now, honey.

I just can't go back to New York and face my friends.

As soon as I get to feeling a little better, I'm going to kill myself.

Now, look, don't you talk like that.

Listen, if he means that much to you, well...

Maybe there's something that I can do.

What?

Well, if you just want to say that you were in a picture, maybe I can call one

of the directors at Metro. I've got a couple of friends in there. And see if

they can give you a little part or something, you know?

Ricky, would you?

Well, I can't promise you anything, but I can try.

Oh, thank you, honey. I'll call tomorrow morning and see what they say.

Thank you.

Hey, Frank.

Oh, hi, Ricky.

Where's your wife?

Oh, she's just coming out of wardrobe. She'll be here in a minute.

She is so excited. about doing this part in this picture. She wouldn't believe

it. And when she found out that she gets to die in the scene, she almost died.

Oh, well, it really is nothing.

Well, she thinks she's playing Camille.

She's been practicing how to die all day long.

Oh, here she is.

Come here, honey.

Come on, I want you to meet your director.

Frank, this is my wife, Lucy. Frank Williams, the director.

How do you do? How do you do, Mrs. Riccardo? Glad to have you with us.

thank you. It certainly is nice to be here. I sure hope I do a good job for

sir. Oh, I'm sure you will.

Now, here's what I'd like you to do. You're the star of this nightclub

The star?

That's right.

Now, as our scene opens, you're discovered at the top of the steps with

four girls. On the cue music, you come about halfway down, a shot rings out,

clutch your heart, and you drop.

Yeah.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm pretty excited, but I'm sure I can do it. That sounds

simple, honey. Yeah, you can handle that. I'm sure I can. Now, just be calm

good luck to you, huh? Okay, dear. Bye. I got a day with Mr.

Minnelli, so I got to go. See you later. Bye.

Don't worry now. You'll be all right. Nick.

Nick, would you get that headdress on her, please?

Oh, boys, no, that spot. No, I don't want that there.

Here you are, Mrs. Ricardo.

Is that for me?

Uh -huh.

I'm afraid it's kind of heavy. Oh, well, that's all right.

I'll be able to manage it.

Can I let go now?

Yeah, that's all right. Thank you.

There. All right now?

There we are, yes.

Thank you.

Have you ever worn one of these before?

Well, no, sir, but I'm sure that I can handle it.

It's quite a trick. It's just getting used to balancing it. How's that? Just

getting used to balancing it. Oh, yeah.

please, Mrs. Ricardo?

Oh, yes, sir.

Thank you.

A little more

to your... A little

more to your left, please.

Your left. Your left, Mrs. Ricardo.

That's it.

Thank you very much. Now, will you tilt your head a little bit?

Do you feel comfortable?

No, sir. Yes, sir.

What seems to be the trouble?

Well, sir, the headdress was just a little heavier and it sort of tilted

forward.

I'm sorry, sir. I'll be able to manage it.

Well, I don't want you to be uncomfortable.

Perhaps I'd better give it to a bigger girl. Oh, no, sir. I'm big enough. Thank

you.

Remember?

Perhaps this headdress is a little too much for you, Mrs. McCullough. Oh, no,

sir. No, sir, no. Mr. Williams, my train just got caught. That could happen to

anyone, sir.

Well, I'd feel much better if it was handled by a girl who could really

it. Oh, I can handle it, sir. No, no. I'm sure I can.

Nick, will you kindly switch headdresses, please? Oh, no, sir, Mr.

Mr. Williams.

Yes?

Isn't the girl who wears that the one who gets killed?

Yes, that's right. Will you put this on, please?

Well, I don't really think that that's very fair, Mr. Williams. I didn't

really... get a chance, do you know?

Mr. Williams? All right. All right, Nona. Now, you take Mrs. Ricardo's place

the center. You'll be the lead girl now. Thank you. And Mrs. Ricardo, would you

mind standing over there by the rail? Thank you very much. You're doing very

well. Very well. Very well. Now, let's go.

No stops.

Go all the way right up by the rail, please. Thank you.

I'd like to try another run through now, only this time I'd like you to come

down the stairs a little faster.

Music.

think you're doing? Well, you said you wanted us to come down a little faster.

I'm sorry I tripped on my train. It was sort of a train trip.

Would you like to try it once more, please? Mr. Williams, are you sure you

want me to be the girl who gets killed?

Please, Mrs. Ricardo.

Wouldn't you like to see me die?

Don't tempt me.

I certainly wish I could be the girl who dies, Mr. Williams, because it means so

much to me. You know, I... Mrs. Ricardo. I have rehearsed it a lot. Mrs.

Ricardo. I'm sure that if you could see me do it... Mrs. Ricardo. ...you would

appreciate that I could probably do it better than Mr. Williams. Mrs. Ricardo.

Would you please let me get a word in edgewise?

Yes, sir. I just felt that you should know how I feel about it. Yes, I

do. Mrs. Ricardo, would you please get up to the top of the stairs there? We'll

try it once more. Just once more, please. Would you like to rehearse it?

Please?

Thank you very much. You're doing very, very well.

We hurried a little. You see, we're a little behind our schedule. Thank you

much. All right.

Are we all set now?

All right, remember, girls, now smile, smile pretty.

That's it.

Music.

The shot was supposed to be for the other girl.

Well, he missed.

Look, Mrs.

Ricardo, you just don't seem to understand.

You see, I'm the director on this picture. Yes, sir, I know that. See, I

all the decisions. I say what happens on this set. I understand that, sir. You

understand that. You know, one more thing like this and you won't be in this

picture at all.

Oh, well, look, Mr. Williams, I just feel that I just have to be the girl who

dies. You see, you don't understand. I couldn't go back to New York and face my

friends. I've told them that I'm going to be in a picture, and I can't just let

it be walk on and off, you know? This is my big chance.

I understand, yeah.

Well, you see, all right, Mrs. Ricardo. I've told them for months and months and

months, you know? Yes, Mrs. Ricardo. You know, when I got this, I figured it was

going to be a real... I really understand.

Believe me, I feel for you. But you've got to understand my situation, too.

Well, you know how friends back home are. Yes, I know. Oh, yes, I know how...

But, you see, I have a problem, too.

You see, I'd like to get this picture done before the end of this year.

I understand.

Thank you. I understand. So, you can be the girl who dies.

Oh! Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you. I'd like that headpiece, please.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I've got an entirely new concept for

scene. Much more dramatic.

Oh? Yes. You are going to be discovered...

Dead as the scene opens.

I'm already dead?

Already dead. Oh, uh... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Potts. You just lie down

here, Mrs. Ricardo.

Just lie down. Thank you very much.

Just lie down.

Uh, face down.

Williams, I've seen lots of pictures and when people die, they don't usually die

face down. They die face up into the camera.

We'll do it another way. Oh, thank you.

Now, boys, would you bring in the stretcher, please?

This will work very, very well. It's very dramatic, too. Would you lie down

the stretcher, please?

Thank you very much.

Face up.

Face up. Yes, sir.

All set?

All set. There.

know it's me.

Your feet will be showing.

Oh, swell.

All right, now, boys, will you change the setup now? I'll be right back.

Where are you going now?

I'm going to powder my feet.

All right, girls, will you get around here, please?

I'll get a setup here.

Hi. Oh,

hi, Ricky.

How's Lucy?

Oh, she's fine.

I'm a nervous wreck.

What happened? Something went wrong?

Oh, no, no, no. Everything's fine. Oh, good. Okay, sir, we're ready to go. Are

the attendants ready?

Yes, sir. Right there. All right, well, where's the dead woman?

Here I am.

Miss... Oh, there she is. Oh, fine. Will you excuse me a moment? We'll get on

with this safe. Meg, will you just lie down here, please? Yes, sir. Thank you

very much. Pick up the sheet, please. Yes, sir.

I'll just get dressed up here nicely.

Here we are. All right.

Meg, will you cover her?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Now, uh... And remember, this is a very dramatic scene. You're very sad. You're

very upset. Lots of emotion. Let's get this scene done this time.

Not a word from anyone.

Ready? Roll them.

Yes, sir.

Cut!

Printed! Thanks, sir. That's beautiful. All right, boys. Take it away now.

Oh, girls, that was just wonderful. Just wonderful.

Lucy, what happened?

Nothing. Well, that's not the way that they explain the scene to me. Nobody

know who you are.

Oh, well, I'm not too unhappy.

That's your business, you know, darling.

I'm sorry, Ricky, but... Oh, it's all right.

At least you got in the picture.

That's right.

Sure. Excuse me, sir, but... What?

Mrs. Ricardo.

Yeah, well, let's go, Ricky.

May I see your feet, please?

I Love

Lucy is a

Desi Lou production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.