Original subtitles

Good morning, Lucy.

Hi.

I'll get the rent money.

How did you know what we wanted?

Listen, there's just one thing that'll put a smile like that on Fred's face.

Now, Fred, this is my big day.

I get to hold some money for a few minutes.

Oh, that's long enough.

Any word?

Not yet.

Wonder why.

Who knows? How's he?

Just awful. No kidding.

Getting worse.

What are you talking, shorthand?

Pay attention. I was asking her if Ricky had heard from Hollywood about his

screen test.

Oh, that's right.

Any word?

Not yet.

Wonder why?

Don't know.

Too bad.

You got me doing it.

You know, that talent scout made a big fat mistake.

Mr. Benjamin, what'd he do?

Oh, he told Ricky that he'd hear from Hollywood in a couple of weeks. It's

more than two weeks now, and Ricky's absolutely frantic.

Yeah, that wasn't so smart.

Ricky's got nothing to worry about. He's a cinch to get that contract.

I wish he was as sure of that as you are. You'll see.

Well, I gotta go and put this away.

See you later, honey. Okay, dears.

Where do you think you're going?

Oh, I've forgotten.

What was that all about?

Oh, he's going to put the money in his secret hiding place.

Do you mean to tell me he hides that money someplace and doesn't tell you

it is?

That's right.

Why, I should think that would drive you crazy.

It used to.

But confidentially, one day I took the whole house apart and finally found the

secret hiding place.

Good girl.

How long have you known?

24 years.

Gee, I'm sorry Ricky's so upset about not hearing from Hollywood.

Yeah, we were talking about it last night. He says this whole thing has him

pins and needles.

And you should see the way he is about that telephone. He even takes it to bed

with him.

No kidding.

Yeah.

Morning, dear.

Well, here's the morning paper.

The rest you'll have to do yourself.

I'm not hungry.

Oh, come on. Now you have to eat something. You didn't eat any dinner

night. I can't help it. I can't eat until I find out about this thing.

Hello?

No, she's not here.

Who's not here?

You.

Who was that?

Charlene Appleby.

No wonder I haven't been getting any calls for a couple of days. Have you

telling everybody I wasn't here? I got to keep this line open.

How about that? I've been cut off from the world.

Well, hi, Ethel.

Hi, Rick. Here's your mail.

Nothing from Hollywood.

What's the matter? Don't you trust me? I trust you.

You think they'll let me know? I've been waiting over two weeks now. What are

you kicking about? I've been waiting to hear from Hollywood for 30 years.

Here's your mail, Lucy.

Oh, is there anything for... No.

He's in bad shape.

And getting worse all the time.

The poor thing's about to explode.

Well, he just can't go on like this. We're going to have to do something to

his mind off it. What?

Well... why don't we go in there and just sort of be gay, you know, tell him

funny stories, make him laugh?

It won't work. It might. It's worth a try. Come on. All right.

Hi, Ricky.

Hi, Rico, pal.

What's new?

Hi, Ricky.

Uh, did I tell you the funny thing I heard on television the other night? No,

what was it? Well, this fellow was big game hunting in Africa, and he shot an

elephant in his pajamas.

And this dumb girl said, well, how in the world did an elephant ever get into

your pajamas?

That's kind of funny, Rick.

Please, not on an empty stomach.

Well, I heard a funny one last night, Rick.

A comic on television, he was given a weather report, and he said, tomorrow

muggy, followed by toogie, waggy, thurgy, fraggy, and saggy.

You think he's out of order?

He didn't even hear you. I heard him moggy, toggy, saggy.

Very funny.

Well, uh, how about this one?

Uh, there was a fella, see, a traveling salesman.

And he, uh, he comes up to this bar.

Fred!

That was the only one I could think of.

Um, did you ever see my My imitation of a Pekingese? A Pekingese? Yeah.

Want to see it? Yeah. Okay.

You know

what always makes me feel good when I'm down in the dumps? What?

A community sing.

That's a swell idea. Shall we sing?

Yeah. Okay. What do we sing? How about When You're Smiling? Good.

do something. Why don't you go someplace?

Why don't you get down to rehearsal? Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't want

Well, look, I promise I'll call you the minute I hear anything, huh?

Word of honor? Word of honor. Now, go on. Go on. Scat.

Scat.

I'll be sure you call...

Are you going to skip your number?

No, no. We're doing my number.

But it's such a bright number. You feel so lousy.

Never mind the way I feel. Just play the music. I'll sing the song.

Not so far from here, there's a very lively atmosphere.

Everybody's going there this year.

And there's a reason the season never closes.

And music you'll find everywhere.

People always having fun down there. So come along.

I'm on my way to...

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

until she gets back from the beauty parlor.

Okay, I'll leave a message that you called. Goodbye.

Hello? No, she's not home.

No, nothing's wrong, dear. It's just that Ricky hasn't let her use the phone

a few days. He's expecting an important call.

Lucy's quite a talker, you know, especially when she gets wound up with

her Gabby friends like Carolyn.

I'll leave a message you called, Marge. Oh, Carolyn!

Oh, uh, well, I'll leave a message that you called, Carolyn, dear.

Ethel, aren't we ever going to have lunch?

Just a little after 12.

But we always eat at 12, and my stomach's growling.

Well, tell your stomach lunch is going to be a little late today.

Did you hear that, Charlie?

leave till Lucy gets back.

And brother, I hope it's soon. I'm getting writer's cramp.

All those people that Ricky hung up on finally got through.

Look at the messages.

Isn't it a shame? One of these isn't from Hollywood.

Yeah. Wait a minute.

Wait a ding -dong minute.

Give me that pad.

What are you going to do?

Just watch the old mastermind.

What are you doing?

There. Hollywood called. You got the job.

What do you think?

I think the old master has lost his mind.

Don't you get it?

He'll leave it for Lucy. She'll call Ricky, tells him the good news. He stops

worrying and everything is rosy.

Especially your nose after he hits you.

He's going to get the job. He's a cinch. And when the real news comes, he'll

thank us for saving him all these hours of worry.

Well, supposing he doesn't get the job. But he will.

Well, supposing he doesn't.

Oh, well, anyway, he's been a moving picture star for two or three days, and

that's something.

No.

Oh, that's all. Give me one good reason.

Well, first of all, it sounds like one of Lucy's ideas. And second... Hold it.

That's enough for me.

Look, why don't you go on over and fix yourself a couple of sandwiches?

That'll tide you over till lunch.

You're the cook in our family, and I'm going to wait for you.

Okay.

Hello? Hi, Sue.

No, she isn't here.

Okay. What's your number? Oh, just a minute.

Uh -oh.

Hi. What's that number?

Circle 7 -2099. Oh, wait a minute. Here she is.

Oh, boy, am I glad you're back. This phone's been ringing off the hook.

got a thousand messages.

Who is this? Sue? Oh, thanks.

I'll see you later. I gotta go fix Fatso some lunch. Okay.

Thanks, Ethel.

Hi, Sue.

Oh, yeah, I know. Isn't it awful? Ricky wouldn't let me talk on the phone.

Well, he's a rehearsal now. We got time for a nice long chat.

Oh, really? Tell me all about it.

Uh -huh.

No kidding.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Really?

Oh!

Uh -huh.

I don't believe it.

when Mr. Benjamin arrived here, honestly, of all the dumb ideas, wanting

leave a phony message.

All right, all right.

How about a little less gab and a little more grub?

In the first place, it's terribly cruel, and in the second place... In the

second place, why don't you keep quiet in the first place?

Okay.

Here you are.

Now, if I don't trust you, give me that message.

I haven't got it.

Give me that message. I want to tear it up before someone sees it by mistake.

But I don't have it. I gave it to you.

You did... Oh, that's right.

And then I... Oh, no!

Oh, I must have left it by the telephone. Come on! No, you go ahead. I

eat my lunch. I want you to be with me in case she's already seen it. Then you

can help me explain.

Come on.

Patience, Charlie.

Patience.

Yeah. Well, you be sure and have him call me, huh, Marco?

It's very important.

Bye.

Oh, boy, isn't that wonderful?

Oh, Lucy.

Oh, are you the sly one, Ethel Mertz? Oh, what a sense of humor, letting me

this message all by myself. Oh, honey, isn't it wonderful?

Hollywood, Hollywood.

Oh, we're going to have a great big house, and we're going to give great big

parties, and we're going to invite lots of movie stars, and we're going to have

a big, splashy swimming pool, and there I am in my mink bathing suit up on top

of the high...

that note.

Oh, did Fred answer the phone?

No.

Lucy,

there was no call from Hollywood.

What? It was just an idea I had. I thought if we gave Ricky some kind of a

message that he'd stop worrying and then when the real message came... Oh, no.

I told him it was a lousy idea. I took the note and I was going to tear it up

and by mistake I left it by the telephone.

Can you ever forgive us?

No. Now, listen, it could have been worse. You might have called Ricky. Yes.

Ricky!

Ricky!

Oh, no, I didn't. Oh, I did. He wasn't in, but I told Marco to give him the

message. Oh, no.

Marco, remember what I told you about Hollywood a few minutes ago?

Well, listen, what?

Oh, well, Mr. Green, where is everybody?

He did?

Oh.

Oh, no, thanks.

Thanks.

Yeah, yeah, we're very happy about it. Yeah, goodbye.

What happened?

Ricky's taken the whole band over to Lindy's to celebrate.

This is awful.

You bet it's awful. And it's all your fault. How could you do such a stupid

thing as write that?

Now, don't try to pin it on to me. It was Ethel's fault. She left it here.

It is not my fault. No, Fred, it's your fault. How could you do that?

I didn't know what I was doing. I was half crazed with hunger.

It doesn't matter whose fault it is. It's done.

Now, the important thing is which one of you is going to tell Rick.

Come on, Fred. I'll fix you some more lunch. All right. No, no, no. You're

to stay right here and face the music.

Not me. Why not? You did it. Okay. Tell him I did it. First, he'll have to find

me. Me, too.

Wait a minute.

How come I get left holding the bag? I didn't do anything.

Well, that's life.

if you'll stay here and give me moral support.

Okay.

Of course, when I tell him I'll be holding little Ricky, he wouldn't dare

woman with a baby in her hand.

Oh, that's a great idea.

I'll just say, Ricky, it's all a mistake, dear.

You didn't really get any call from Hollywood.

Fred wrote the note, and Ethel accidentally left it here, and I

called. Now, wait a minute. I'll stay on one condition.

What's that?

When you come to Fred wrote the note, you hand me the baby.

And then when you get to the part, Ethel accidentally left it by the phone.

Yeah, never mind.

Never mind.

Just forget all about the baby. Now, look, crazy things like this happen.

Ricky's just going to have to accept it. Now, the three of us are going to stay

right here and tell him exactly what happened. Okay?

All right.

All right, sit down.

Now, look, there's nothing to worry about. We're just going to tell him the

truth.

Just sit back and relax.

Sit back and relax.

I wonder what's keeping him. Maybe he hopped a plane to Hollywood?

No.

Now, listen, when he does come in, try to act natural. Don't act as though

something terrible has happened. Oh, no, we won't. We'll be... Why

is

he ringing the bell?

Maybe it isn't Ricky.

Oh, you're right, you're right.

Oh,

baby!

Well, we've finally made it. We're going to take Hollywood by storm.

Um, Ricky?

Yes? We three have something to say to you. Yes?

I, uh... I really don't know how to say it.

Well, I'll say it for you.

I know what you want, and the answer is yes.

You three want to organize my first fan club.

The Ricky Ricardo Fan Club No.

1.

Yes, you may have the charter.

Well, how about that?

We got the charter.

Well,

I guess there's only one thing to do. What's that? I'm going to get my

book. Oh, me too.

Excuse me, Star.

Where are you going?

To get my autograph book. I left it in Indiana.

You can't leave now.

We have to tell him.

I can't tell him. He looks just like Buddy Rogers.

Now listen.

Either we all march in there together and tell him the truth or I'm going to

tell him that you wrote the note and that you left it there purposely.

Oh! Now do we march?

going in there again and this time you're going to march in front of me.

Now march!

Wait till I get to Hollywood.

I'm going to make that Crosby look like a bum.

Ricky, I can't stand anymore.

Well, what's the matter, honey? What can you stand?

About that message I left for you at the club.

Oh, yes, darling. I should apologize for that.

I meant to call you, but, well, I got carried away.

After I talked to Mr. Benjamin, I took all the boys down to Linda's to

celebrate. Yeah, well, that's just it.

Mr. Benjamin?

You talked to Mr. Benjamin?

Yeah, he wanted me to ask you something.

He had only gotten the wire 20 minutes before.

How did you know?

Well, uh... Have you got a friend at the telegraph office?

Good, yeah.

I got a friend at the telegraph office, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, we really did hear from Hollywood today.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.