Original subtitles

Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes, honey.

Okay.

Morning, Lucy. Hi.

Brought up your mail. Thank you.

Nothing but bills.

Bills, bills, bills.

That's all I ever get anymore.

Hey, speaking of bills, I hate to bring it up, but how about the rent?

Please, not before breakfast, Ethel.

Well, you know, I don't care, honey, but last night Fred found out you'd only

paid half the rent. Couldn't you have kept it from him?

You'd just be happy he didn't find out it was half of last month's rent.

Oh, Ethel, my accounts are all messed up. These are second and third notices

from every company in town. They're threatened to shut off everything but my

oxygen supply.

We'll see.

How many of these things do they send before they really shut things off? I

don't know.

Hey, I got a friend that works at the power company. You want me to call her

and find out how many they send?

Yeah. Okay.

Lucy. What?

There's no dial tone.

They didn't. I'm afraid they did.

They can't do that to me.

you like some dry cereal and some nice cold milk?

Honey, my mouth was all set for waffles.

Oh, well, waffles are so fattening. Dry cereal's better for you. Better for me,

too.

All right, anything, just as long as I eat something. Okay.

Well, it's kind of dark in here.

Come on with the light.

Maybe it's a bad bulb.

I'm going to say it was probably Fred fooling around with the fuse box again.

Oh, me and my big mouth.

Lucy?

Lucy?

There's nobody in here but us deadbeats.

Lucy, you come out here.

Lucy!

Now, where do you think you're going?

Oh, hi, dear. I'm just going down to see Ethel. I'll be back in a couple years.

a living, sir.

It's hard to know which way the economic pendulum will swing.

Well, sir, how long are you going to let me talk before you slug me?

You know what I'm going to do? What?

I'm going to get a business manager.

A business manager?

Yeah, a business manager. A lot of people in show business have him. I've

thinking about it for a long time.

Well, how does it work?

Well, he handles all the money and pays all the bills.

I'll call him right now.

Or is there any point in me trying to use the telephone?

Well, you can try it, but I think you'd have more luck with two cans and a

string.

Mr. Hickox, I hope you don't have too much trouble figuring out my bookkeeping

system. You know, I'm not exactly a CPA.

Well aware of that. But I've been in this business for 20 years and I've

had any trouble figuring out any books yet.

Oh.

Congratulations.

What for?

I finally found a set of books I can't figure out.

Now, I'll tell you what we think you'd better do. We'll wipe the slate clean

start all over. All right? Yes, sir. I'd like that. That's fine.

Now, here's your allowance for this month.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I wish it was this easy to get money out of Ricky. That's what I'm here

for, Mrs. Ricardo, to make things easier for you and Mr. Ricardo.

Oh.

Well, is this all there is to it? You just give me the money and I spend it?

Well, something like that. Oh, boy. How long has this been going on?

Lucy, we... Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had come. Oh, that's all right. Mr.

Hickox, this is Fred and Ethel Mertz. They own this building. And this is Mr.

Andrew Hickox, our new business manager.

Oh, how do you do?

How are you? Well, are we just about all figured out, Mr. Hickox? Well, not

quite, Mrs. Ricardo.

As well as I can figure out from these books, you owe a few back bills.

A few, yes.

I'd like to start you off even with everybody.

Oh, that would be wonderful.

Now, let me see. The milk bill?

Twenty dollars.

I'll take care of that for you. Thank you.

Oh.

Go out of here?

That's what the allowance is for, to pay the bills.

Twenty?

How about the month and a half rent?

Uh, I'll take care of that for you.

Thank you. Now, let me see. Telephone, $11 .25. Gas and electric, $8 .75.

$20.

Twenty more.

And then cleaning and laundry, $15 even.

There we are. Now you can spend the rest any way you want.

The rest is just $5 left.

$5.

head or a fat brunette.

Well, we'll see you later, Lucy.

Come on, Frank. Oh, listen, Ethel, may I speak to you in the kitchen privately?

What did you want?

Where's the money?

Old Stickyfinger's got it away from me.

Well, I couldn't have loaned it to you anyway as long as he knew I had it.

Mr. Hickox is just going to have to give me more money. Oh, I'll bet you can't

talk him into it.

I'll bet I can.

What makes you think so?

He's a man, isn't he?

I have a feeling your old wheedle, plead, and cry routine won't work on

Want to bet?

How much?

Five dollars.

Okay.

Mr. Hickox, I know you want to be fair about this, but after all, I'm no

magician. And the way things worked out, five dollars is all that I have left

for the whole month.

I know.

That's five dollars for everything, not to mention miscellaneous.

Yes.

That comes to about a dollar and a quarter a week.

Right.

Per day, that is only... Seventeen and three -quarter cents.

Seventeen and three -quarter cents.

Correct. Well, obviously a family of three cannot live on that.

True. So you will just have to give me more money.

Not a chance.

Well, my goodness, it's our money.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Ricardo, but that's what you hired me for. Well, we didn't hire

you to keep our money when we need it. Now, Mr. Hickox, I'm just going to have

to have more money.

After all, half of that money is mine. I work very hard around here. I take care

of the house and I take care of that baby. And if you don't appreciate what I

do, then I guess you just don't want me around here.

I can always take little Ricky and leave you, you selfish beast.

You'd better save that for Mr. Ricardo.

Oh.

Now look, Mr. Hickok.

I can't believe that a charming, wonderful, understanding man like you

refuse to give me a few paltry little dollars.

Mrs. Ricardo... Oh, my goodness, I never noticed what beautiful blue eyes you

have.

Did anyone ever tell you you look like Clark Gable?

No. Oh.

But, Mrs.

Ricardo, I'm afraid you find me a little hard -hearted. You have to be in my

business. After all, I'm only doing it for your own good.

I know.

I know, Mr. Hickox. It's all right.

Don't worry about me. I'll manage somehow.

Of course, toward the end of the month, we'll probably get pretty hungry.

And the baby won't have any milk. The poor little thin thing.

Well, now, Mrs. Ricardo, you probably have a point there as far as food is

concerned. I'll tell you what I'll do.

You'll give me more money?

No.

I'll arrange some credits.

And you can charge your groceries at the store.

But what's bought some extra money for me, for the movies and my clothes and my

hair? You can use your five dollars for that.

Hi. Hi.

I'm going shopping.

Is there anything I can get for you?

They're having a sale at Saks.

Please, Ethel, don't rub it in.

I'm sorry. I know there's nothing I can get for you, is there? Not unless

they're selling money marked down to nothing.

Oh, you poor little thing. You don't have any fun anymore, do you?

Oh, sure. I get to go to the market and pinch the melons and smell the ground

coffee.

Lucy, can I ask you a personal question?

What?

You haven't had your hair touched up for two weeks. What does it look like under

that scarf?

Looks like I'm wearing a black beanie.

I'll come back.

See you later.

Happy shopping. Happy market.

Oh, say, as long as you're going down there, would you get me a couple of

things? Sure.

Let's see. I need a loaf of whole wheat bread and a bottle of half and half and

a pound of round steak.

Bread, half and half, and round steak.

Well, hello, George. Long time no see.

They're making the bills smaller, aren't they?

Oh, Lucy, it hasn't been that long.

You know, I could pull a fast one on Mr. Hickox and charge your groceries along

with mine and just keep this money.

Yeah. Would serve him right. Yeah, well, I'll see you later.

Ethel!

Why not?

You wouldn't. Oh, wouldn't I?

Don't you need some more groceries today, Ethel? No, no, I don't.

Well, how about tomorrow and the day after? I'll do your shopping every day.

Well, what have I got to lose?

And hey, where are you going?

What are you going to do?

Who are you going to call?

What I'm doing for you, I can do for everybody in this building.

Hello, Mrs. Trumbull, this is Lucy Ricardo.

Oh, I'm fine, dear. I was just off to the market and I was wondering, could I

pick something up for you?

Oh, no, no trouble at all. I'd be glad to.

All right.

A dozen oranges.

Yeah.

And a quart of milk.

Oh, come here, Mrs. Trumbull.

Came up to get my daily delivery, Mr. Cardo. Yeah.

Get your list.

Let's see now. Benson, Williams, Trumbull.

And green beans.

Yeah. There we are. A box of crackers.

Yes.

I got the saltines. That's a kind.

Oh, and I got a big fat roasting chicken.

It's a beauty.

And a quart of milk.

Yes. And a bottle of sherry.

Cooking sherry.

Cooking sherry.

There we are. That's $4 .23.

There you are.

23 cents.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mr. Cordo, I hate to seem nosy, but do you mind if I ask why you're doing

this?

Oh, I don't know, Mrs. Trumbull. It's just a hobby.

A hobby?

Yeah, you know, some people collect stamps. I buy groceries.

I guess it takes all...

forgot. Tomorrow, will you buy me a can of All Pet?

All Pet?

For my cat.

Oh, yes, yes. Tuesday, buy can All Pet. Thank you. All right, dear.

Goodbye. Well,

how's the red -headed green grocer?

I'm fine. You want your order?

Yep. Slope of bread.

Mayonnaise. I got the large one. Is that all right? Yeah.

Where's my flour? Right here.

Here it is.

That's $3 .80. $3 .80. Okay.

Right here.

One, two, three.

$3 .80. Thank you.

How are you doing? Fine. I've been in business a week. I got more money than I

know what to do with.

one to wipe that smile off your face but do you realize that at the end of the

month you have got to pay that bill at the market oh no i don't mr hickox does

he's the one that arranged the credit but it's your money but it's his

responsibility he's the business manager let him manage

How can you afford it?

Oh, there are ways.

Is that a new dress?

Yes, do you like it?

Yeah.

But what cooks?

Hair, a new dress?

Where do you get the money? Please, I don't discuss money anymore. You'll have

to talk to my business manager.

Well, I don't get it. My allowance is completely gone.

Bad planning, dear.

and even have enough money for a haircut.

My goodness.

Oh, dear, and you do look a little seedy.

Well, with a nightclub and all, you really should look your best, dear.

Here you are.

Go get yourself a haircut.

While you're at it, get a manicure and a shave.

Keep the change.

We really should have gotten a business manager a lot sooner, dear.

Hey, Rick.

Yeah, friend. Where are you?

Here.

Oh, I came over to see if you two kids could go to the movies with us.

I'll pay for it.

Well, sir, I'll go with you, but you don't have to pay for it. We're not that

broke yet. Oh.

As a matter of fact, Lucy is loaded.

Loaded?

She just showed me a roll of bills that big around.

She been borrowing money from you?

Are you out of your mind?

I guess I should have known better than to ask that.

Where did she get the money?

Well, maybe your business manager got soft -hearted.

Are you kidding?

Mr. Hickox?

He makes you look like Diamond Jim Brady.

Well, come to think about it, Lucy and Ethel have been whispering together

I get near, and then they shut right up.

Can you get Ethel to tell you what it's all about?

No, for once, those big blabbery lips are sealed.

I'm telling you, something is cooking, but I sure can't find out what it is.

Well, I only got one clue.

What's that?

Well, they had their heads together the other day, and before they saw me, I

think I heard Lucy say something about the market.

The market. Yeah.

The market. Yeah.

That's it.

That must be it. What?

Lucy's playing the stock market.

You know, it sounds kind of crazy and everything, but, you know, sometimes

people, they get hunches on what horses to play, what stock to buy.

Maybe she has six cents.

She might. She never had any before.

Well, I know that it's crazy, but what if she is playing the stock market?

Well, then we all better get ready for another crash.

I guess you're right. It's too fantastic to be true.

I wish I knew what she's getting all that money. I don't know why.

Hey, Fred.

Come here.

Look at this.

Read that.

Tuesday by can all pet.

That's it?

That's it what?

That must be the stock that she's investing her money in tomorrow.

That doesn't sound like stock.

Well, you know how they list them sometimes. Come on, let's look at the

exchange. All right.

Here's the paper.

Can all pet.

Can all pet.

Canadian Ally Petroleum.

Are you sure you like... Look, right underneath.

Can all pet preferred.

I'll be a monkey's uncle.

And look at the price. Look how cheap it is. Maybe Lucy's got a tip that it's

going up.

How do you like that? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call Mr.

Hickox right now and tell him to buy me some of that stuff.

Yeah?

Yes, and a dozen chocolate cookies.

Two lemon pies, a devil's food cake, and a jar of strawberry jam.

Yes, and 25 pounds of sugar.

I know it sounds like a lot, but I have quite a sweet tooth.

Oh, yes,

I know we're running up quite a bill.

$473?

Oh, well, don't worry about it. Our business manager will take care of it at

end of the month.

Yes, goodbye.

Lucy! Yeah?

Lucy, guess what?

What? Look!

Look! Where'd you get all that money? The same place you got your money from.

I don't know what you mean. Where?

The market.

You know. Who told you? If that's all blabbed out... Nobody told me. Nobody

me. I just found that pad where you write your tips on.

My tips?

Yeah.

How did you know what to buy? It's amazing.

Amazing? What are you talking about? I just buy what the people want.

Oh, just buy what the people want. That sounds very easy.

But how do you know what the people want?

How do you know what to buy and when to buy it?

How did you, a typical, ordinary New York housewife, know that today was the

to buy Canadian Allied Petroleum? How do you know that?

Canadian Allied Petroleum.

How do you know that?

Well, uh... What?

Sit down. Sit down.

Let's start from the beginning, eh? Yeah, yeah.

All right, now look.

Fred overheard you say... Something to enter about the market.

Well, we could dream that it could possibly be the stock market.

But then I found that pad there where you had written, buy can or pet.

buy can or pet.

So I look in the stock exchange, and there it was, as big as life. Canadian

Alive Petroleum.

Canadian Alive Petroleum. Yeah. So I called Mr. Hickox, and I told him to buy

some of the stock.

So you know what he said? He said it was bad stock.

judgment in life better than we can trust his.

And we can pay our own bills.

We can?

Sure. Now, honey, tell me something.

Where did you get this power you have? Is it some kind of a sixth sense?

Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Some kind of a sixth sense.

I found out that if I just stand still and listen, a little voice tells me

what to buy.

Little voice, eh?

Yeah.

And yesterday it said, buy Canadian Allied

Petroleum. Petroleum, yeah.

Well, look,

honey. I made $1 ,000 in this stock. $1 ,000? $1 ,000.

So I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm going to give you half of it. Oh, boy.

There you are. Half. $500.

Boy. Now I suppose you're going to put it right back in the market.

Yeah, that's what I'm going to do with it, all right.

Well, what looks good?

What did the little small boy say today?

I haven't asked it.

Oh, well.

Shh, shh.

That's funny.

What's the matter? He ain't talking?

I can't hear anything.

Lucy, the little small voice.

Come in, little small voice. Over.

Lucy, the little small voice.

Come in, little small voice. Over.

I'm sorry, Ricky. I guess the spell was broken once you found out. Well, keep

trying, honey. Keep trying.

I'll try, but I don't really think there's any use to it. Well, have a try.

trying.

Lucy, the little...

Did you say something?

No. No.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.