Original subtitles

Come on, Ricky. Time to get up.

you

Well, yeah, bacon or egg.

I'll have some.

What do you mean, bacon or eggs?

Why can't I have both?

Because.

Because?

Lucy, you mean to tell me that you're over your food budget again?

Yes, I am, but it's your fault.

My fault?

Yes, if you give me more money, this wouldn't happen.

More money?

Yeah, you're such a peso pincher.

And don't jabber at me in a foreign tongue.

That is not a foreign tongue. That's Spanish.

Hi.

Hi, Fred.

That's what tells me your faucet's leaking.

Well, you didn't have to rush over. I told her two years ago.

stop on the way.

Oh, Fred, do you have to fix it now? Can't you wait till after breakfast?

Do you want it fixed or not?

All right.

What's the matter with everybody? Everybody's so grumpy every morning

here. Grumpy?

Who's grumpy?

Never mind.

You didn't tell me what you wanted, bacon or eggs?

What are you going to have?

Bacon. I'll have an egg.

I'll swap you half of my egg for half of your bacon.

Well, that's a sneaky way to get bacon and eggs.

Yes, Jerry, what would you like?

I got you all set for an interview with Eleanor Harris, a big magazine writer.

Oh? Yeah, she wants to do an article on a really happily married couple, you

know, like you and Lucy.

Oh. Yeah, she wants to spend an entire day with you. You know, take pictures

everything, right from the time you get up in the morning.

Good idea. When does she want to start?

Well, how about this morning?

We'll see you tomorrow, 7 a .m.

Okay. Oh, and Rick, she wants to catch you just the way you really are. So

make any preparations for that.

Okay, we'll be just the way we are all the time.

Goodbye.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hey, hey, hey.

The magazine writer is coming over tomorrow morning to do an article on you

me. Oh?

Yeah, she's going to do an article on a couple of happily married people.

What time is she coming?

7 o 'clock.

In the morning?

Yeah. Ooh.

The idea is that she wants to come early in the morning and take some pictures

and see us exactly as we are.

Lucy Riccardo. How do you do? How do you do? Nice to know you. Won't you come

in? Thank you.

This is an awful thing to do to anybody, barging in at this hour of the morning.

I hope you don't mind too much. Not at all. We love company, especially in the

morning. Won't you sit down? Thanks.

Well, I can see that you two kids are going to get along together just fine.

certainly, Jerry.

Well, I'll be running along.

All right. I think I'll go home and go back to bed.

Bye, Jerry.

Well, what do we do first?

any attention to me. You just go ahead and do whatever you'd be doing if I

weren't here.

Oh, oh, well, then I'll go ahead and get breakfast.

Fine. What would you like? Oh, thanks. I've already had mine. Oh, all right.

Pardon me.

like that when you're getting breakfast?

Oh, certainly. I don't like to wear my good things just puttering around the

house.

interview, remember?

Oh, yes. How do you do? How do you do, Mr. Ricardo? I hope you don't mind our

starting the interview so early.

Oh, no, not at all. We don't mind it with you.

Not at all, dear. Won't you sit down, dear? Thank you.

Did you have a nice sleep, darling?

Oh, yes, I slept like a top.

I awoke refreshed and with a song in my lips.

sweetheart. Oh, no. Here's to you, darling. Oh, say, that's cute. Hold it.

That's fine. Thanks.

Um, what are we having for breakfast this morning?

Oh, the usual things.

Waffles with sausages, omelet with ham, eggs benedict. Take your choice.

So hard to decide.

You know, Lucy spoiled me terribly.

manager with a small amount of money that I'd give her. I don't see how she

it at all. Oh, darling. Now, anyone could run a household on the generous

allowance that you give me every month.

Thank you.

Well, I'll just have something simple this morning. Something like bacon and

eggs. Okay.

and Mrs. Mertz. How do you do?

I'm their landlady and Lucy's best friend, Ethel Mertz. M -E -R -T -Z.

Well, Ethel, thanks a lot for bringing back the Hoff and Hoff, but see you

later, huh?

Huh, honey?

Hiya, folks.

How's that little old leaky faucet?

Well, if it isn't the bold brummel of the plumbers.

Well, Lucy, I didn't know you had company.

Oh, yes, Miss Harris, this is Mr. Merck, M -E -R -T -Z.

How do you do? How do you do?

Well, I suppose you two have had breakfast.

No, we haven't.

You don't want to wait with us, do you?

Oh, yes, we'd love to.

Oh, well, that's marvelous. I can get a picture of you with your neighbors.

A picture?

Oh, gosh, if I'd have known I was going to have my picture taken, I'd have

dressed up a little.

Now, how do you line us? Oh, just something informal.

All right.

As long as the costumes get here in time for the show, that's all I'm interested

in. Okay, well, thank you very much. Goodbye.

Hi, Ricky. Oh, hi, Jerry.

Hey, where's Eleanor, the magazine gal? She's still with Lucy. She'll be here

tonight. Oh.

Oh, boy.

What are you so tired about?

What am I so tired about?

You see these grubby little hands?

Yes. Well, these little pinkies of mine have become ink -stained and all cramped

just so that you could become a star of the first magnitude.

What? Yeah.

Cast your great big shoe -button eyes on that.

Dearest Minnie, how about a date Saturday night?

Will you meet me at the Tropicana Club, Ricky Ricardo?

Now, what would you think if you got a postcard like that?

I would think I better go and see my secretary.

No,

no. I mean, if you were a woman.

I think you better go see your secretary.

Come on, what is this? Will you mini -pinch 1433 to the street Bronx?

Looks like my signature, too. I copied it. Pretty good, huh?

Too good, boy. Watch it.

Come on, what is it?

Don't you get it, Dan? It's brilliant. I sent one of these cards to every woman

on the Tropicana mailing list.

3 ,000 of them.

3 ,000? Yeah, boy, Saturday night this joint is going to be overflowing with

women. Pretty good, huh?

Only better be.

No, no, you keep that one as a souvenir. I made it out twice by mistake.

Hey, come on, I'll buy you a cup of coffee.

All right, take that, fellas.

You know, Jerry, there are times when I think you're crazy.

Then there are other times when I'm sure of it.

Really?

Well, that was our first meeting, and then a couple of months later we said I

do, and we've been happily married ever since.

Mm -hmm.

All right, now I'd like to get a few quotes from you. All right.

Tell me.

What's it like being married to an entertainer? Oh, it's very exciting.

After all, there's no business like show business.

You may quote me.

Fine.

I suppose you and Ricky have your share of arguments.

Ricky and me? Oh, heavens no.

Oh, come on, Lucy. Surely you have a little tiff now and then. Tiff?

Now, you may not believe this, Eleanor, but Ricky and I have never talked.

Taff?

Tiffles?

Oh, that's marvelous.

You're not the jealous type, then, hmm?

Well, what is there to be jealous about?

Well, after all, Ricky is a handsome, charming man, surrounded by showgirls

the time.

Well... And he is out every night in a nightclub.

But that's his job.

The last person that told me that was the wife of a famous piano player.

He told her he was at rehearsal every afternoon.

And he wasn't.

He was playing all right, but not the piano.

My goodness.

She'd been married to a man like Ricky, she wouldn't have had to worry.

When he says he's at rehearsal, he's at rehearsal.

May I quote you on that?

Oh, sure, sure.

That's the kind of trust that's made your marriage last.

Isn't it?

Hmm? I said, that's the kind of trust that's made your marriage last.

Yeah, that's the kind of trust that you have to have in any kind of a marriage.

All right.

Now, how long have you two been married?

Hmm?

I said, how long have you two been married?

Thirteen years. Would you excuse me? I want to look at the baby.

Well, yes, certainly.

Hello,

Tropicana. I'd like to speak to Mr.

Ricardo, please.

Any idea where he might be?

No.

Well, no, no message. Thank you.

That was a delicious dinner, Lucy. Thank you. Just something I threw together.

Really? Those crepes lisette are the best I've tasted in years. Well, thank

Yes, they had just the right amount of cognac.

They were even better than last night's. Well, thank you, darling.

I think we'd better go on, Eleanor. It's getting kind of late.

Oh, all right. I'll go put my face on. You'll excuse me?

Certainly.

Are you out of your mind? Shrimp cocktail, steak, this must have cost a

Never mind that.

I want to talk to you. Where were you this afternoon?

At rehearsal.

All afternoon?

Yeah.

What's the matter with you?

I called you this afternoon about two o 'clock, and you weren't there.

I wasn't? No.

Maybe I stepped out for a cup of coffee or something.

Ha!

Now, what are you... you driving at? Nothing. And we can't discuss it now

she's here trying to get a story about how happily married we are.

Give me a cigarette.

Okay.

Oh, never mind. I'll get it myself.

I was looking for my cigarette case. I misplaced it.

I'm all set.

Here you are, sweetheart.

Thank you, darling.

I was looking for my cigarette case. I misplaced it.

I bet you seen that sport coat I wore this afternoon.

Oh, well, I'll get it, dear.

Oh, thank you, darling.

I'll get my overcoat. I'll be right with you. Okay.

Oh.

Is this it?

Yeah. Thank you very much. We got it, honey. See you later.

Hi, I just saw Miss Harris this evening. I thought I'd come up and see how

everything went.

How were my crepe Suzettes?

Were they soggy? No.

Were they heavy?

No. Well, did they flame?

Yeah, they flamed.

What's the matter?

I just found out that Ricky is seeing another woman.

Ricky is seeing another woman.

What does Ricky want to see another woman for?

Ricky is seeing another woman.

Oh, Lucy, what are you talking about?

That.

I don't get it. Who's Minnie Finch? I don't know. All I know is I called him

the club at 2 o 'clock and he wasn't there.

girls. And then now that.

And I'll bet she's the most beautiful showgirl of all.

And I'm going down to see her and have it out.

Oh, now, Lucy, you're being ridiculous.

Oh, am I? If some woman was trying to take Fred away from you, you'd sing

another tune.

Yeah, happy days are here again.

How can you make jokes at a time like this? Now, come on, get your coat. I'll

see if Mrs. Trumbull can take care of Ricky.

How can you tell who lives where? There are no numbers on the door.

Lucy, does this look like the kind of place one of Ricky's girlfriends would

live? Well, that just shows you how shrewd she is. She doesn't think anybody

would look here.

Okay, let's knock on the door and ask where she lives.

All right.

I suppose she lives here. What do I say?

Why, just say, good evening, madam. Punch her in the nose and get it over

I know. I'll pretend that I'm conducting a poll, and I'll sort of introduce

Ricky's name subtly, you know, and see how she reacts, huh? That's a good idea.

Oh, pardon me, but could you tell me where Minnie Finch lives?

Well, it's her place right there. You're standing right in front of it.

Thank you.

Yes, I do.

Well, then knock!

conducting a poll, and we'd like to ask you some questions.

Say, your name ain't Kinsey, is it?

No.

No, we're conducting a poll to find out who is the most popular orchestra leader

in the country. Oh, yes.

Yes, do you happen to know Ricky Ricardo?

Do I know him?

I'll say I do.

Mad about me.

Mad about you?

And how.

I got a date with him Saturday night.

Oh. Do you see him often?

You want to laugh?

Five years ago, I went to the Tropicana on my birthday.

Well, they brung a big cake over to the table, and Ricky Riccardo come over and

kissed me. And today, five years later, I get a card asking me for a date.

Oh, boy.

When I kiss them, they stay kissed.

I'll show you the card.

I don't get it. Neither do I.

There, there. See that?

How about that, huh?

Yes, he must have been impressed.

Yeah, but not half as impressed as Joe was this morning.

Joe? That's my husband.

He's terrible jealous.

I gave him an awful time with that card this morning.

He went storming out. out of here, fit to kill.

Minnie! Oh.

Minnie! Guess who's got a date tonight with Ricky Ricardo?

I have. See?

Oh, did you get one, too?

Minnie! Oh, girls, look! Oh,

Ricky Ricardo!

Well, what do you know?

You know what? What?

I'll bet you this is another one of Jerry's crazy publicity stunts.

Do you think that's what it is? Of course it is.

You don't think Ricky would date those three, do you?

Fred, yes. Ricky, no.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Goodbye, girls.

So long, kids.

See you again.

Well, I'm going to keep on.

Does that feel any better?

Yeah, it's much better. Thank you, Helena.

Ricky, what are you doing home?

What happened?

What's the matter, dear? We got out of the cab and started to go into the club

and some man walked up and said, are you Ricky Ricardo?

And I said, yes. And he said, this is for Minnie. And he hit me.

See?

Minnie? Whatever did he mean, dear?

I don't know, but it probably has something to do with those postcards

Jerry sent out.

Postcards?

the postcards to every woman that had been at the Tropicana and telling them

that I was making a date with them for Saturday night.

This guy must have been Minnie's husband, I guess.

Oh, you poor baby.

Imagine not trusting somebody that you're married to more than that.

Imagine.

Yeah.

After all, trust is the basis of every happy marriage.

You may quote me.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

This is the CBS Television Network.