Original subtitles

I'm sorry.

What are you trying to do, kill somebody?

Ricky for our anniversary.

Oh. Aren't they wonderful?

Aren't they beautiful?

Gee. What are the little booties on there for?

Booties? Those are covers to protect the clubs.

Oh. What do those numbers mean?

Oh, Ethel, don't you know anything?

Those numbers tell you how many strokes to take with that club.

Gee, that's a wonderful present. Oh, I think he's going to be crazy about it.

I've got to put it away, though.

to see you.

I don't think he'll see that. No.

Oh, boy.

Now comes my yearly problem.

What's that?

Well, trying to figure out a way to give Ricky an inkling that it's our

anniversary without his knowing he's being inkled.

That shouldn't be difficult for an old veteran inkler like you.

I know, but it's always such a strain thinking of new ways to remind him.

You don't suppose just... Just once, he might remember all by himself, do you?

What was that for? What was what for?

That expression on your face.

I have a little indigestion.

It was a smile.

Oh, well, I always smile when I have a little indigestion.

Now, Ethel, cut that out. You know something. No, I don't. I don't know

anything. I'm a dunce.

You're keeping something from me.

till you tell me what you know.

Ricky remembered my anniversary, didn't he?

I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you that much.

Yes, he did.

Oh, good.

Well, so long, Ethel.

You know more than that.

Come on, now.

What did he tell you? He must have talked to you. He must have asked your

about my present. What did he want to know?

I'll ask you just one more question and then you can go.

Do you know what Ricky is giving me for our anniversary?

Yes, I do. What is it? What is it?

I thought you were only going to ask me one more question. I am. What is it?

Oh, I've already told you more than I should.

I told you he remembered your anniversary and I told you I knew what

getting you. You'd think you'd be satisfied.

You'd think so, wouldn't you?

weeks ago, you're going to be thrilled to pieces and let go my arm before it's

eight feet long.

Well, now, can I step down off the witness stand?

Chuck Rose.

to tell you, didn't I?

See, Mommy?

Look at that.

Hi. Oh, hi, darling.

Say, what are you doing up so late, old man? Well, he was such a good boy, I let

him stay up to say goodnight to Daddy. Oh, good. Hello, sweetheart. How are

Hello. Come on, Betty, bye.

Okay.

You were a good boy, eh?

Oh, he was wonderful.

Well, there you are. He even ate all of his spinach today.

Well, listen, you're going to grow up to be a big, strong boy. You'll probably

be a football player. He's awful tired now, though. Come on, honey. Come on,

sweetheart. I'll let him stay up too late.

Ah. Well, it's all right, sweetheart.

Now say your prayers.

Gee, honey, don't those pictures bring back a lot of memories? You know, it's

wonderful how many great times we've had.

Yes, sir.

Say, we have an anniversary coming up one of these days, haven't we?

up a box of candy or something. Oh.

Hey, look at that.

That's the night before we get married.

Gee, that's a cute couple. I wonder what ever happened to them.

Haven't you heard?

They live happily ever after.

We have had fun, haven't we, honey? Yes, sir.

These have been the best 15 years of my life.

What's the matter? We've only been married 13 years.

seems like 15.

What?

No, what I mean is it doesn't seem possible that all that fun could have

crammed into only 13 years.

Well, you wormed out of that one.

Besides, it isn't even 13 years until tomorrow.

All right.

What do you want to do on our anniversary?

Do? You have to work.

No, I don't.

I'm going to take the night off. I already arranged it. I don't.

Now, what do you want to do? I'll take you any place you want to go.

Well... You know what I want to do?

What? You won't laugh at me. No.

I want to have a quiet little dinner at home. Just the two of us.

You know, candles and champagne and our favorite records on the phonograph.

Oh, honey, that sounds wonderful.

Doesn't it? A cozy, romantic dinner for two, just like it was on our honeymoon.

It'll just be our night, huh?

Okay, sweetheart, if that's what you want to do, that's just what we'll do.

Fred, guess what?

What? The Mater D from the Tropicana just called me. Our surprise party

night is off.

Well, it's their anniversary, isn't it? Yes, it's their anniversary, but Ricky's

decided to take the night off. How do you like that? He's worked every Tuesday

night since we've known him.

Well, in that case, we'll just have to phone all the people and tell them we're

going to have the party here.

If the Ricardos are going to be here, we'll have to find that out.

Let's go over there and see, huh? All right.

Hey. Yeah?

This is the night that we went to the Copa.

Oh, yes. Gee, didn't we have fun that night? Oh, I had forgotten that dress.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Wait a minute.

Who's that?

Where? Oh, that's Fred and Ethel.

Fred and Ethel?

Yeah. Haven't you seen that? Ethel gave it to me. That's when they were first

married.

What's so funny?

How about that? Fred with hair.

Yeah, I remember when this was taken.

But who's the slim young girl with me?

Oh, now, Fred, I haven't changed that much.

Now, Wessel, as my hair thinned, your hips spread.

Oh, fool.

Come on, we've all changed quite a bit since I got here. Yeah, let's talk about

something a little pleasanter. Sit down. Come on.

All right.

Uh, Ricky, what are you going to do tomorrow night on your anniversary?

Oh, well, I'm going to...

Well, Lucy wants to... We have to go out

for dinner.

A business dinner.

A business dinner? Yes, they called just before you came in.

Ricky wanted to turn them down, but I wouldn't let him. It's too important.

Well, who's it with?

Rogers and Hammerstein.

Rogers and Hammerstein?

Rogers and Hammerstein?

Rogers and Hammerstein?

He can't even believe it, can you, dear? No, no, it's very hard to believe.

Well, I guess we got to go. We got something to do. Yeah, we got to go. Why

you have to go so soon? Well, I guess we have something to do, but we'll see you

there. We'll see you later.

What's all this about a business dinner?

Well, I'm sorry, but I just didn't want them to know that we were going to be

home. I wanted to be alone with you.

Okay, honey, but why Rodgers and Hammerstein?

Well...

If you're going to have dinner with somebody, might as well have it with

and Hammerstein.

Now, this is a mess.

We've got a whole surprise party full of people and nobody to surprise.

Oh, there must be some way to figure this out.

I don't think you'll work.

Of course it will. Why not?

Well, the Merseys always know when we're home.

So, we'll go out.

Well, that doesn't make sense, even for you.

Look, we'll go out. We'll make a lot of noise so that they'll know we're

leaving. Then we'll sneak quietly in through the kitchen door.

Have our own little celebration.

Well... Please.

Fred, I've got it. I'll see you later.

Well, where are you going?

I'm going to see Mrs. Trumbull. If they're going out, they'll have to get

Trumbull to stay with the baby. And if Mrs. Trumbull tells them that she can't

babysit after 9 o 'clock, they'll have to come home and we can have our party.

Bethel, you're a slicker than slippery alum.

Well, honey, I don't know.

Oh, please, Ricky, please. Just for me. It means so much to me.

Okay, Windsor.

Oh, honey, thank you.

Ricky. Yeah, honey?

Mrs. Trumbull said she could babysit until 9 o 'clock, so I told her we'd be

back then.

Oh, gee, doesn't this look nice? This is going to be the nicest anniversary

we've ever had.

Say, uh, what are we having for dinner?

The same thing we had on our first anniversary.

Rolled potatoes and burned roast?

Oh, come now.

I've learned to cook a little better since then. Yes, yes.

What about opening our presents, huh? Oh, not now, honey. We have to make like

we're leaving first, remember?

Okay. Come on.

Ready? Yep. Stay right there. All right.

Hurry up, dear. We mustn't be late. We mustn't keep Dick and Oscar waiting.

All right. I'll be right there.

She's coming in here. Get my stool. It's in there on the chair in my bag. And

get your coat.

Hey, Lucy, open up.

with Rodgers and Hammerstein, but too bad it had to happen on your

Yeah, well, business is business, you know.

Thank you, dear.

It's all right. Oh, boy.

Thanks very much. Well, we'll see you later. Okay, have a good time. You're a

handsome couple.

Thank you, honey. Thank you. Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Oh, Fred, what are you doing here? They could have...

I think this ought to be a good time to get things set for the party. No, we've

got to wait until they get in the taxi and drive away. They might have

something and come back.

Oh, everything's just working out perfectly. They're going to be the most

surprised people in the whole world.

I feel like a burglar.

He made it. Give me your coat.

We're all alone.

Happy anniversary, darling. Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

Now for the presents. Okay, you sit right down there.

Okay.

Gee, I can hardly... wait to see what it is.

Oh, don't tell me what's hidden there all this time.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Happy anniversary, honey. Oh, thank you, dear.

Gee, I can't imagine what it is.

I keep my big mouth shut.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm positive. The putter is gone.

You sure?

Where did the putter come from?

The putter?

Yes, the putter.

Where did the putter come from?

Yeah, where did the putter come from?

Well, um, if you must know, I found the golf clubs in the closet

while you were at Ethel's, and I was practicing with the putter, and you came

back, and I had to hide her under the couch.

Oh, Ricky, you're as bad as I am.

Worse.

Happy anniversary, fellow peeker.

Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

Oh.

Oh, it's locked.

Go get the key, Fred. The nurses?

They're trying to get in here.

What are we doing?

Hide. Where?

In the closet. All right.

on the divan.

All right.

Oh, they must have been playing Scrabble.

I'll say that's putting up the table.

Well, for once, we kept a secret. They're really going to be surprised.

Hey, look at these.

Yeah, Lucy got those for Ricky.

Ain't they beauties? Uh -huh.

Uh, I suppose you know what those numbers mean.

What? They tell you how many strokes to take with that club.

idiot told you that?

Lucy? Oh, that figures.

Come on. You didn't see the present we're giving him, did you? No, I'd like

see it. Okay.

I'm going to show it to you before I wrap it up.

I'm crazy about it.

Oh, that's a good -looking lighter.

Uh -huh.

Well, you could have at least taken the price tag off.

$32 .50?

Have you lost your mind?

That's not the real price. I erased the real price and wrote that on myself.

Well, what is the real price?

$4 .95.

Come on now, let's not be too cheap. Cheap? We're giving them champagne and

and a party. Well, that's right.

Besides, look who's talking about being cheap.

Ricky bought Lucy furs for their anniversary.

I've always wanted a fur coat.

Now listen, honey bunch.

If nature had intended for you to have a fur coat, you'd have been born with

one.

Well,

I'd better tidy up the room, huh? Yeah.

Now don't open that bottle of champagne.

It'll just sit around and get flat.

Don't worry. I won't let it just sit around and get flat.

set the table, will you? All right.

Pick the cake up.

That's there.

Got it? Yeah.

Heavy, isn't it?

Yeah, but it looks good.

Isn't that a beautiful cloth?

Now, put the cake back down.

Now,

paper napkins. They're in that box. Get them for me, will you? And bring their

glasses. They're prettier than ours.

All right.

What's the matter with you? Well, you just handed me these napkins, and the

minute I got my hand on them, you said you're welcome.

I didn't just hand you the napkins.

What do you mean you didn't just hand them to me? Well, I mean that I just

didn't hand you the napkins. Now, listen, I ought to know whether you

these napkins or not.

Are you insinuating that I'm daft, loony, off my rocker, out of my head?

Well, that covers it pretty well.

Let's straighten these out. Okay. Oh, that looks all right. Yeah.

Now, you go out in the kitchen and get the cake plates, and I'll go in the

bedroom and see if it's all right so the guests can leave their hats and coats

and things in there. Cake plates, cake plates.

You know, I was sure they'd have to be back by then. It's 10 o 'clock.

Well, we just have to wait a while longer. Just be patient.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

This is the CBS Television Network.