Original subtitles

You're all fastened up here, young man.

And then you go to bed.

Come on, now. Sit still.

Come on, Ricky. Sit still, honey. Now, Mama's got to... Come on, honey. I'm

hungry. I'm ready. We can go as soon as Mrs. Trumbull gets here.

Hey, what are we going to eat?

We're going to meet the merchants at that French restaurant.

What French restaurant? The new one. The one the Applebee's told us about. You

remember? Okay. I'm going to see what's keeping Mrs. Trumbull.

Okay. Listen, Carolyn said that the menus were all written in French. Do you

know how to read French?

Sure. I can read it. Oh, good.

But I can't understand it.

Oh, great.

Well, listen, Ethel took French in high school, and Fred was in France during

the First World War.

Let's let them order, and then we'll take what they take. All right.

There's Mrs. Trumbull. I'll let her in. Good night, old man. Say good night,

Poppy. Good night. Say good night, honey. Good night, boy. Take your

Here we go. Now, I want you to go right to sleep for Mrs.

Trumbull. You lie down now, honey. You go right to sleep for Mrs. Trumbull.

What time did they say they'd meet us here, Ethel? Oh, they ought to be here

minute. Well, I'm hungry.

So am I.

Now, let's see what looks good.

Fred. Yeah?

This menu's all written in French.

Well, what did you expect in a French restaurant?

But there's no English on it.

Let me see it.

Where's English here?

Where? Right here.

Acme Printing Corporation.

Union Shop.

Oh, very funny.

Well, I ought to be able to figure out something on this thing.

After all, during the First World War, I was stationed in France. I know. Well,

I was.

You were there exactly three weeks.

Well, I learned a lot. I know everything you learned, and they don't serve hinky

-dinky parley -booey.

Ask the waiter to tell us what these things mean.

Hey, Glocken!

I know what we'll do.

We'll wait till Ricky orders, and then we'll say we'll have some of the same.

Well, what makes you think he can speak French? Well, he speaks Spanish, and all

those foreign languages are practically the same. Oh.

Wouldn't you think I'd recognize something on this thing?

Oh, hi.

Oh, isn't this fun?

It's a real atmospheric type place, isn't it? Yeah, I feel just like I was

Paris.

Bonsoir, monsieur, madame.

Bonsoir. Bonsoir.

Oh,

gee, doesn't everything look delicious? It certainly does.

What is madame's choice?

Oh, well, it certainly is difficult to make a choice.

What are you going to have, Fred?

Me? Uh -huh.

Oh, I don't know.

What are you going to order, Rick?

Well, I thought I'd have this. Oh, I beg your pardon. Ladies first. Go ahead, I

thought.

Oh, I haven't decided yet.

Lucy? Oh, no, you don't. I started this.

Well, now, is anyone ready to order?

Well, you go ahead.

You know,

we could starve to death like this. Now, someone has to go first.

Ah. would gladly go first, but I have already eaten.

Oh, well, I know I'll count.

One potato, two potato, three potato, four. Please, allow me.

Une pomme de terre, deux pommes de terre, trois pommes de terre, quatre,

pommes de terre, six pommes de terre, sept pommes de terre, c 'est tout.

Ma mère m 'a dit de prendre à vous. Oh, well, that sounds good. Bring four

orders to that.

Madame, I was counting.

You must order first.

Oh, well, let's see now.

I'll have this.

That? Yes. I'll have the same. Me too. So will I. Ah, madame, monsieur.

You heard our order. Will you please bring it?

Please. Could I not suggest something else? No. This is what we want.

Very well.

Four orders of clothes on Sundays.

Please allow me.

I will bring you this speciality de la maison.

I was

never so humiliated in my life.

That is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Oh, honey,

you're exaggerating.

I am not exaggerating. So we can't read French. We're going to have a meal,

aren't we?

That's right. Who cares what they call it? Yes, but suppose you want to order

the same thing next time. Well, I'll just wear the same tie and say, bring me

some of this.

You can laugh all you want, but we are going to do something about this

situation. We are?

Yes. We are going to take lessons and learn how to speak French. Not me. I had

enough trouble learning how to speak English.

How about you, Fred? Are you kidding me?

Very well, Ethel.

They'll be sorry if people will say, how could those two charming,

sophisticated, cultured women ever marry those uncouth slobs?

What does that mean, Fred?

Well, slobs mean... Slobs, I know.

Well, if you're uncouth, it means that you're not couth.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Now, you listen to me.

You can get just as couth as you want.

But just make sure that it doesn't cost me any money. Doesn't cost me any money.

Doesn't cost me any money.

Ethel, did you ever take a good look into his eyes?

He has little dollar signs instead of pupils.

Doesn't cost me any money.

later. Oh, come on in. Don't be silly. I was expecting our French teacher.

Our French teacher? Our French teacher and for free. If you'd been around this

morning, you'd have known about it. Oh, I had to go downtown.

How'd you do it? How'd it happen? Well, I got a brainstorm. I called that French

restaurant. I thought maybe that waiter would be willing to give us lessons. He

said he would and for nothing. Oh, Lucy, that's wonderful.

Why should he teach us for nothing? I don't know, and I didn't ask questions.

He'll be here any minute. Well, I'll be right back.

You don't have to get fixed up, you know.

Oh, but he's silly. I just want to tell Fred I'm home. I'll be right back.

All right. I wouldn't leave you alone in your apartment with a Frenchman who's

going to give you lessons for nothing.

Oh, go on.

Silly.

Ah, bonjour, madame.

Bonjour to you, too.

I'm Robert Dubois.

How do you do? Won't you come in?

Merci.

Is your husband home?

Now, just a minute.

Let's get one thing straight.

You came here to give me French lessons. It doesn't matter whether my husband is

home or not.

But you don't understand.

I understand perfectly. Are you going to give me French lessons or not?

Oui, madame. Very well. That's better.

Now then, shall we start with the menu from the restaurant?

No, no, no, no, no, no. We will begin the lesson with a few simple words.

Repeat after me.

Yes. Le crayon.

La crayon. Le crayon. La plume. La plume.

La plume. La plume.

You remember Mrs. Merth. This is Robert Dubois. How do you do?

How do you do?

Have you learned anything yet? Oh, sure. It's simple.

Le crayon and la plume.

Oh, that's wonderful. What does it mean?

The pencil, the pen.

Do you think you can teach us enough French so that we can order in any

restaurant?

Absolument. You can.

We're just starting with a few simple words.

The pencil.

Le crayon.

Le crayon. Le crayon. Le crayon. La plume. La

plume. La plume.

La plume.

La plume.

La plume. La plume.

La? L? Le.

Le. Le crayon.

La plume. La plume.

Bon. Bon. Bon. No, bon means good.

Oh. You are doing... fine.

You speak in French very well.

Oh, yeah. We're in great shape if the restaurant we go to happens to serve

and pencils.

We will begin our vocabulary slowly.

Yes. Table.

Table. Table.

La table.

La table.

La table. La table.

Let me try.

Okay.

La table.

La table.

La table.

Cat. What?

Cat.

Cat? Cat. Oh, cat, cat, yes. Oui, oui, oui. Le chat.

Le chat.

Gee, French is a funny language. Why are some of them le and some of them la?

You see, there is difference between French and English. In French,

it is either masculine or feminine.

You Americans don't have that.

You haven't been in this country very long, have you?

Mrs.

Ricardo, please.

What? I do not know all the rules of grammar.

I'm no teacher.

Oh, I know. I know you're a waiter.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm an entertainer.

An entertainer? Oui. That is why when I found out who you were...

I agree to teach you for nothing. I hope I could meet your husband and be in one

of his shows.

What's French for sneaky waiter?

You never get anything for nothing in this world. I'm telling you, this is

really too bad.

Please, please do not be angry. All I want is an introduction to your husband.

Just an introduction?

Oui. Is that all you want? Oui.

Well.

Okay. If you keep on giving us free French lessons, I will introduce you to

husband. But that's all. Oui, madame. Merci.

Merci. You are very kind.

Perhaps I could use my influence with Mr. Ricardo, too.

Merci.

Now we'll start to make a simple sentence.

The pencil is on the table.

Le crayon est sur la table.

Le crayon...

Are you still in that French kick?

I certainly am, and I took a lesson today.

And it didn't cost you a cent.

Okay, that's fine.

How did it go?

We sound so international.

Yeah. Too bad we can't understand each other. Yeah.

Who's your teacher?

Well, the waiter from that French restaurant.

Oh? He's coming over again tonight.

Another lesson so soon?

Well, not exactly. No, he's coming over to see you.

Me? What does he want with me?

Well, you see, he's really an entertainer from Paris. Paris, France,

And he thought if he could just get to talk to you, he might be able to get an

audition at the club and possibly be in one of the shows. He's really a very...

Lucy.

There's one word that is exactly the same in Spanish, in French, and in

What's that?

No.

But, Ricky, all you have to do, he'll give us free French lessons if you just

talk to him once. Just... Talk. Say hello. How do you do? Anything. What's

with that? It won't be fair to the guy, honey. I couldn't possibly use a French

singer at the club. Why not? A real French actor at the club might be a good

change of pace.

No, no. Besides, French reviews are very popular now. They're all the rage. You

know, Follies Bougere type stuff and the Can -Can stuff and Moulin Rouge and

Toulouse -Lautrec paintings all around and all that frilly stuff. You know,

Sanchez, as much as I hate to admit it, you might have something there.

Really?

were so dressed up we decided to eat out again.

Ethel, guess what?

Ricky's going to star Robert Dubois in a French review at the club and we're all

going to be in it. We're all going to be in it.

We're all going to be in it. We're all going to be in it. We're all going to be

in it. We're all going to be in it. We're all going to be in it.

We're all going to be in it.

this one night when we got mad.

We darn near killed each other.

Well, that's very clever, but don't call me and I won't call you. Oh, Ricky,

you're mean.

Okay, so I'm mean.

Now, come on. Let's cut out all the auditions and let me see if I can figure

something about this French.

Well, you don't have to go away mad.

I'm not mad. I'm hungry.

We'll see you later. Okay.

French review.

That might not be bad at all.

Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise.

Birds in the tree seems to twitter Louise.

Yeah, but we are right there.

And it's a valley kind of. Yeah.

Every little breeze seems to twitter Louise.

Twitter Louise.

Hello. We seem to be overstocked on Maurice Chevalier.

Oh, you carrot.

You're in the right

place.

You remember my husband, Mr. Maurice Ricardo.

And Mr.

and Mrs. Maurice Mertz. Monsieur.

Ricardo, your wife say I may speak to you about appearing at your club.

Well, yes, we're happy to give you an audition.

Could you come over tomorrow afternoon about four o 'clock?

Certainly, I will be there. Merci.

Merci, madame. Merci, monsieur. Merci. Au revoir.

Au revoir.

Bonjour.

Hey, you know, this idea of so many chevaliers might be very funny. We could

be in the same thing. We could all wear the same costume. We could sing a little

bit. Lo si.

seem to understand that I don't want you in the show.

Listen, Ricky, this whole French review idea is mine, and if I can't be in it,

you can't use it.

Okay, sue me.

Look, honey, you know I'll manage to sneak in anyway, so why don't you let me

in it right from the beginning?

Come on, Ricky, you'll save yourself a lot of trouble.

I'm gonna save us all a lot of trouble.

I'm gonna give orders down at the club that you're not gonna be allowed in

for any reason at all.

you're not even going to be allowed to get into the building.

That'll take care of you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I'll just bet you I can get in anyway.

You want to lose a little more money, huh?

How much would you like to bet?

You name it, Buster.

$20?

Not very sure of yourself, are you?

$30?

Hiker.

$50? You got yourself a bet.

Okay. Okay.

Let's take the dance, Sam. We're going to rehearse that music in there.

All right.

Any sign of her yet?

No, hasn't seen her yet.

Well, it won't be long now. Oh, here come the boys.

Come on, fellas.

We should take a long time having dinner.

pleasure in presenting tonight our new french review

amigos i

have

found the very girl the one and only guarantee to mend the heart

that felt so lonely my mind

up today, and I am on my way, knowing just what I intend

to say.

Believe me.

And as for loving, you know all. In practice, it's a volunteer.

Love is fine.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

This is the CBS Television Network.