Original subtitles

Hi, dear.

I picked up the baby pictures. Oh, let me see, let me see.

Wait a minute. I know.

Honey, I haven't seen them either.

Oh, honey, I don't want you to see them before I do. Honey, we'll look at them

together.

Well, all right.

Gee, I can hardly wait to see what they look like after all we went through

taking them. What do you mean we went through? I took them, remember?

Oh, sure, but I was the one that had to stand on my head to make little Ricky

laugh.

Oh, honey, they gave you the wrong pictures. This is a picture of twins.

Well, they're both little Ricky.

How did you manage that?

Oh, uh, double exposure.

It can happen to anybody.

Oh. There's only one of them in that shot.

Yeah, but that's so blurry.

You take wonderful x -rays, dear.

Well, I can't help it if he moved.

Uh...

Oh, these pictures are good enough to be in the cover of a magazine.

What magazine? Body Beautiful?

Well,

even professional photographers are entitled to a boo -boo now and then.

Oh, these pictures are much better than any pictures the Applebees ever took of

their baby. Well, we have an advantage over the Applebees. Our baby's handsome.

Yeah. Oh.

Wait till they come over tonight and I... show them what real baby pictures

like.

What's this about? Who's coming over tonight?

Oh, didn't I tell you, dear?

No, you didn't tell me, dear.

Well, uh, Carol and, uh, Charlie Appleby are coming over tonight.

Oh, no, they're not. My house is in no shape for company. You just call them

right up. Look, honey, Charlie wants to talk to me about a television show, so I

asked him to come over, and he's going to be here at eight o 'clock.

Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Wait till he puts the pictures of his baby out and I'll let him have it with

these.

What are you doing?

We're not showing those pictures to anyone.

Why? Because of a vow that you and I made.

Vow? Yes. Before we had a baby, do you remember how bored we always were when

other people dragged out pictures of their little darlings and insisted that

look at them?

Yeah. And do you remember that we promised each other if we ever had a

that we wouldn't inflict his pictures on other people?

I know, honey, but little Rick is not like any ordinary pig.

I mean, he's so cute that people want to see his pictures.

Yeah, I know.

Well, no, now that's what all parents think. Now, we promised, Ricky.

Okay, but I'm not going to be very happy when Charlie starts bragging about his

little brat. Well, so long as we're not boring people with pictures of our kid,

what?

Charlie wants you to do a television show.

Certainly a delayed reaction.

What kind of a show? When is it going to be? Who's going to be in it?

Variety. Next Thursday.

And not you.

Now, really.

Look, honey, look.

I'm only the master of ceremonies.

I don't hire the talent.

I have nothing to do with the talent, so there's nothing I can do for you. But

if you did and you were, would you?

But I don't and I'm not.

But if you did and you were, would you? If I did and I were, I would.

Well, now I don't know what we said.

But I guess as long as you're not, it doesn't matter.

That's the sensible way to look at it.

Now, honey, remember, we're not showing those pictures to anybody tonight.

Okay, okay.

Isn't he cute? Oh, these are wonderful pictures, Ricky.

How about that, brother? Yeah, I like this one where he's got the baseball cap

on. He's a cutie, all right.

Hey, that's a pretty good idea for a picture. Put a baseball cap on him. I'll

show you this.

thought of that. Very clever.

Look at this one here. Oh, he took a picture of the doll we gave him.

That's his favorite doll.

And Lucy's embroidered his name on his little spoon. Ricky Junior.

What are you doing with those pictures?

You're showing them to us. You promised not to show them to anybody.

Well, the mercies aren't anybody.

Thanks a lot. I didn't mean that.

Lucy made me promise that I wasn't going to bore people with the pictures of the

baby. Well, he's certainly not boring us. We're his godmother and godfather.

Sure, they're the kids' godfolks. Yeah, watch that, will you?

Well, maybe it's all right for you, but nobody else, remember.

You mean you're not going to show them to the Applebees? That's right.

Oh, come on. Somebody has to take them down a peg.

That's right.

Yeah. Nope.

Oh, now, that's all they talk about.

The way they act, you think they invented babies.

Exactly, and we don't want to be like the Applebees.

he did.

Oh, yeah, it was the cutest thing he ever saw. Tell him, honey.

Now, mind you, he's only 13 months old. Well, just as we were walking out the

door, he looked up at us, raised his little hand, and said, Bye -bye.

Bye -bye?

All by himself, bye -bye. How about that, huh?

And only 13 months old. Gee.

Oh, that certainly is amazing. Is that a new dress you have on, Carolyn?

This old rug? Yes.

Oh, goodness. Let me see. What else did I want to tell you about little Stevie,

darling?

Charlie, how's everything down at the television station?

Oh. Great, Rick, just great. We've got the newest moving pictures in town. You

know, I bought a block of films yesterday, and I want to tell you that

going to make television stars out of some of the actors.

Yes, sir.

Now, just remember their names.

Conway Turrell and Mabel Norman.

Yeah, well, we'll catch them. We never, we always, always watch your television

station. Well, as it makes the station popular. Good pictures.

Good pictures. Oh, we've got some new pictures of Stevie. Do you want to see

them? They're right here.

Just marvelous. You know, Charlie took them the other day on his first

Look at this one. He's trying to blow out the candle.

Look at the little Dickens. He put his hand

in the cake.

I tell you, that little Steve is a natural -born comic.

Natural -born.

This one is the best one of all. The hat one.

Oh, Charlie thought of the cutest idea.

Well, you know he's just a genius about these things anyway.

Do you know what he did?

He put a baseball cap on little Stevie.

child, Rick, but I ask you, did you ever see a baby who took a better picture?

Did I, honey?

No, you didn't.

I didn't.

You know, from the moment he was born, little Stevie was perfectly shaped,

absolutely handsome.

That's right. You know how most babies are, all red and pinched and funny

looking. Yeah.

Say, how is little Ricky anyway?

was all red and pinched and funny looking.

He outgrew that, didn't he?

I was just on my way over to your place.

Here's some money for the cleaning. Will you pay the man when he comes?

Sure. Where are you going?

Oh, I just thought I'd drop by and see Carolyn Appleby.

Carolyn Appleby? I thought you were mad at her last night.

I was, and I still am.

Well, then why are you going over there?

I just decided to take little Ricky over there and show her what a cute baby

really looks like.

Oh, Lucy, honestly.

Well, I don't care. Little Ricky's twice as handsome as that scrawny little runt

of theirs.

Of course he's handsomer than their child.

But you'll have to admit some of their pictures were kind of cute.

One more remark like that and you can turn in your godmother suit.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Little Ricky's wearing his brand new outfit, but I don't suppose that

you.

Oh, isn't he precious?

As precious as little Steve. the Applebee.

He's ten times precious -er than that silly -looking little goon.

You may kiss your reinstated godmother.

Aw, thank you.

Put on your little hat, see.

Lucy, aren't you being kind of mean, dropping in on Carolyn unannounced with

little Ricky all dressed up like that?

Yeah.

nice of you to drive by.

Uh, come on up.

I hope we haven't come at an inopportune time.

Oh, no. I was just sitting here relaxing.

Oh, Lucy.

You'll just have to forgive the mess the apartment's in. I just haven't had a

chance to do a thing this morning.

That's all right. I hope we haven't come at the wrong time for little Stevie. He

isn't sleeping or all dirty or something.

No, no. He's all dressed up.

As a matter of fact, I was just waiting for his grandmother to come for him. Oh.

I'll go get him. Oh, all right.

Here, take it. Come on, baby.

Now,

you wait for little Stevie.

You wait for little Stevie.

Here we are.

Now, say hello to little Ricky, Stevie. Say hello, Stevie.

Say hello.

He's grown a lot since I last saw him. Oh, yeah, he's really shooting up. Oh,

yes. When do you think he'll reach normal size?

He's exactly the size he's supposed to be.

He just seems small to you because you're so used to looking at little

here. Fatty?

Oh, yes.

I just love chubby, puffy little boys.

You're going to have to go on a diet or you'll grow up to look like your mommy.

What's new, Carolyn?

Well, uh, oh, see, what if I take the children and put them outside in

playpen? Then they can get acquainted.

Well, all right.

All righty.

There.

Yes, you were just asking me what's new.

Yes. Well, I hate to sound like the doting mother, but what do you think

Stevie did today?

Don't tell me he took a picture of you for a change.

No, he put two words together for the first time.

Not until today.

Oh, don't tell me that little Ricky has ever put two words together.

Why, certainly, dear.

I don't mean da -da.

Of course not.

Has he ever said, morning, mommy?

In English or Spanish?

He speaks Spanish only when he's mad.

Well, Lucy, it certainly was chummy of you to drop by like this today.

How long must you stay?

I hate to rush off like this, but I really must.

Oh, that is a smart suit you're wearing.

Oh, do you like it? You know I always have.

I'd like my baby, please. Where do you keep your child's cage?

Well, I just hope that little glutton of yours hasn't taught my Stevie any bad

habits.

have any bad habits.

I hope he doesn't copy any of his good habits like scratching himself or

bananas with his feet.

Thanks for a lovely time.

You're welcome.

So I said, well, I hope little Ricky doesn't copy any of his good habits like

scratching himself or peeling bananas with his feet and we left.

Oh, Luke. Lucy, what's this going to do to Ricky's TV show tomorrow?

Charlie will probably cancel the whole thing.

Oh, Ricky's going to be furious.

I know, but I couldn't help it. I felt like a mother bear defending her cub.

Well, when you tell him, I'd hate to be in your shoes.

It's not my shoes I'm worried about.

Hi, honey.

Hi, Ethel. Hi.

Ethel, I come over to tell you I'm going to the market to get a chicken. A

chicken? I got one in the oven.

Well, if we had three and twenty more, we could bake them in a pie.

Hey,

I was just telling Fred about rehearsal for the television show. It was

wonderful. It's going to be a great show tomorrow night.

Oh?

Oh. Uh -oh. Well, come on, Fred. Let's go. Well, what's your rush? We've got to

get to the market. We've got to check in right now.

Oh, those two.

Uh,

Ricky. Yes, honey?

I was thinking about your television show for Charlie Appleby.

I don't think that's a very good thing for you.

Not a good thing for me?

What is my big chance to get in my own television show?

Well, what do you want with that? Television isn't going to last. It's

fad.

A fad?

Yeah, like flagpole sitting or swallowing goldfish.

Lucy, what are you talking about?

Well, besides, Charlie's station doesn't come in clear. You get all distorted.

Why?

all funny like this.

Lucy, what

are you up to?

Nothing, but I just don't want you disappointed if television turns out to

big flop.

Well, honey, thank you very much, but I'll take my chances.

and see what she's doing tomorrow night.

Okay.

Oh, hello.

Oh, hello, Charlie.

Oh, Charlie, this is Lucy. Lucy Ricardo.

Oh, fine, thanks. Is Carolyn the... What?

Oh, Charlie, that's terrible.

The cameraman?

Mumps?

Oh, for heaven's sake.

The studio's going to be quarantined?

And you won't be able to make any shows there for a couple weeks, huh? Oh, well,

I'll tell Ricky I'll... I'll...

Hello, child, this is Rick.

You started this, so you're going to finish it.

Well, what do I have to do?

You're going to get me back on the television show.

How? I don't know how.

But if you don't... All right. I'll... I will, Ricky. I'll get you back on the

show. Don't even think of what you'll do if I don't.

and come to Acapulco.

You put your tears in hock and throw away your clock in Acapulco.

You can be as lazy as a daisy drifting in a blue lagoon.

You're wide awake at night because you do your dreaming in the afternoon.

You'll get a Latin glow way down in Mexico below the border.

If you refuse a kiss, you're out of order.

And when the moon is new, it's like a honeydew. Come on and get yourself a

slice. And if you can't say Acapulco, then you can call it paradise.

You'll need some new farachis when the mariachis start to play there.

And after you depart, you know you crazy hearty want to stay there.

And if the moon is new, it's like a honeydew. Come on and get yourself a

And if you can't say Acapulco, then you can call it Parador.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

And now I have... I have a surprise for you. You know, most performers don't

like to have babies with them in their show because they say that the babies

always steal all the things.

But my wife found such a cute baby today, such an

adorable child with such great personality, so beautiful, so

intelligent. that she insisted that I put this child on the show tonight.

So now, ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to introduce to you my wife,

Lucy, with her idea of the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world.

they are.

Lucy!

and was played by Dora Singleton and Charlie by High Everback.

I Love Lucy is a Desi Lou production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

This is the CBS Television Network.