Original subtitles

Okay,

sucker.

Who do you like, huh? I like Murphy. He'll murder this other guy.

Ho, ho, ho!

My little pigeon.

You like Murphy, eh?

Okay, now let me see. He's a 3 -1 underdog.

So I'll give you even money.

You think you're kidding, but I'll take it.

Okay, what do you do? You find a gold mine or something, throwing your money

away like that?

Just put up or shut up, Buster.

I'll put up. I'll put up. How much would you like to bet, Mr.

Rockefeller? Make it easy on yourself.

All right.

Ten dollars?

What's the matter? Are you frightened?

Fifteen dollars?

How about twenty dollars?

Oh, you must know something.

I know Murphy. He's trained for this fight, and he'll run through these 15

rounds like it was nothing.

Okay, okay.

You may have Murphy.

I got Murphy.

You got him all right. Don't worry.

And may the best man win.

See you.

Stop the monkey. Get your left hand up, Murph. Just pace yourself.

Move away from him. 15 rounds to go.

You murdered this guy. Don't you worry about nothing.

It can't hurt you now. Remember that.

Just keep in there. Keep your chin under your shoulder. That's the way. Throw

the right. That's the way. In there with the chin up. Can't you hear me? Throw

the right now.

Well,

that's the last one.

Good. Honestly, I seem to have my hands in hot water all the time.

Babies, laundry, dishes three times a day.

Nope. Not yet.

Not yet what?

Well, sooner or later, I'm bound to develop webbed foot hands.

Well, what do we do tonight?

Are you kidding? The same thing we do every week at this time.

Sit and watch Ricky and Fred watching the fights on television.

Oh, yeah.

Gee, Ethel.

Remember when we used to go to the movies on Ricky Nights Off?

Movies? Yeah. What's that?

Oh, you know, it's sort of like television, except the screen is bigger

just one channel.

Tonight's the big fight.

Every week's the big fight.

Well, tonight's the big, big fight.

Everybody's talking about it. Oh, who's fighting?

I don't know.

It's always the same. Rocky somebody versus kid something or other. I've got

get out of the corner and get some ginger ale.

Well, he sure was in a hurry.

Oh, they only allow him one minute between rounds.

Yeah.

You know, he's got himself trained so he can do anything in less than a minute.

Well, we'll just have to sit here and listen to the homey sounds the cat calls

and body blows.

Yep.

Say, you know Fred's going to miss that next round?

Well, he didn't expect to go down to the corner and get back here in time for

this.

to revolt.

I'm tired of playing second fiddle to a television set. Ricky is my husband and

he is going to spend the evening talking to me or else.

Fred too.

Or else what?

Or else I am going to find my evening's entertainment elsewhere without him.

Come on.

What we mean?

We are sick and tired of sitting around for an hour and a half looking at each

other while you look at this silly fight.

Oh, now, honey, you know that we watch the fights every week at the same time.

We better do. Just forget about it? No.

They've got to be made to understand how we feel about this.

From a safe distance, of course.

Now you're talking sense.

I know.

We'll leave.

And never come back?

No, no. We'll get down to the corner and call up here.

What? I'll disguise my voice and ask for me.

And then when Ricky goes to get me to come to the phone, he'll find out I'm

gone. And then they'll look for you and they'll find out that you're gone. Then

they'll really start to worry about it.

Yeah.

Let's... leave a note and tell them to drag the river for our bodies.

What's the difference? At least we'll get to go to the movies. Besides, after

the movies are over, they'll miss us plenty.

That's right.

I think I'll call Mrs. Tremble and ask her to look in on little Ricky. Even if

he cried, you know, they wouldn't even know the difference. No.

Oh.

I haven't got a dime.

Oh. It's a nickel.

I'll have to get change for this.

Pardon me. Could I have change for this, please?

We might as well be at home.

We'll be so busy, I'll make the change myself.

must be the two babes who are pulling all that stick -up stuff in this

neighborhood.

How dare you? We're no stick -up babes. We'll see.

Soon enough.

What are you going to do?

We're going to take you down to the station house, book you and fingerprint

Remember, Max, I got ten bucks on mercy.

Take any bets?

Oh, fine.

We almost got arrested and put in jail and they didn't even know we were out of

that house.

The only way we'll ever get their attention is to put on trunks and fight

other at the garden.

Nah.

Wouldn't matter.

That's an idea.

Yeah.

We could go up on the roof, find the wire that connects with our television

Just a medium -sized one.

You do?

Well, I don't know what... All right, you two, put up your hands.

Now, look, officer, I was just going to cut this wire. Yeah, I know how you

work. You cut the wire, the whole place goes dark, and you clean out the entire

building.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Listen, I happen to own this building. Yes, and I'm J.

Edgar Hoover.

Hold out your hands.

I'm not taking any chances on you two.

getting away this time.

Now, look, officer, I live in this building, and I was just going to cut

wire so that our television set would go off so that our husbands wouldn't be

able to watch the fight.

Yeah, it didn't have anything to do with the light. No!

Your wrists, please.

Now, look, I'll prove it.

This is the wire I was going to cut, isn't it? Yeah.

distance. Oh, yeah?

You want to put your money where your mouth is? You're done right -o, huh?

on, five bucks more? Okay.

faces anywhere.

Pickpocket pearl and sticky finger sal.

Really? What'd you get them for?

Attempted robbery, resisting arrest, escaping an officer, prowling,

possessing a deadly weapon.

and sticky fingers.

I'm not sticky fingers.

Look, I know who you are. Why don't you admit it? I've seen your faces on

watered posters a hundred times.

You have not.

I have to.

I never forget a face, do I?

Never. Yeah.

The only difference is you used to be a brunette, didn't you? Dyed your hair.

A lot you know.

My hair is naturally red.

Isn't it, Ethel?

Look, Lucy, let's not add perjury to our other chart.

something like that from you, pickpocket pearl.

Aha! Oh, aha yourself.

I can clear this up in a minute. Will you let me use your phone? Don't touch

I wouldn't trust it in your hands.

What's your mouthpiece's number?

Mouthpiece? My husband's number is Muriel 59975.

He'll come down here and straighten you out in a minute.

Yeah, it's...

you a few questions. Now, pardon me, Sarge. Do you need me anymore?

I'm off duty.

Well, what's your hurry? Well, I would like to see the end of that fight.

Oh, sure. Go ahead.

Have you ever heard of Ricky Ricardo?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you, Mr. Ricardo.

I've heard you sing Babaloo many times.

I am not Mr.

Ricardo. I am his wife.

Have you got any identification to prove it?

Identification? Well, I certainly didn't think I'd need my purse up on that

roof. Oh, no identification, huh?

Well, now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

We can identify ourselves.

We can.

posters here with your pictures on it. You have not.

Oh, yes, I have sticky fingers. Call me Sticky Fingers.

That last round was a pip.

your picture here, but I've got a report on you.

Let's see.

Yeah, here it is.

Sticky Fingers Sal and Pickpocket Pearl, arrested June 9th, 1952.

Sentenced and committed May 12th, 1953.

Now serving 10 years at the state prison park.

Ah, how about that?

Now serving 10 years!

I've been telling you that you were making a big mistake.

Now look, my husband is Ricky Ricardo, the orchestra leader.

And my... husband is... Her husband is Ricky Ricardo, the orchestra.

Well... If you want to prove it, call that number again. The policeman should

there by now.

The two of them are watching television.

Oh, no.

Is one of them Ricky Ricardo?

Yeah, that's him, all right.

Yeah, hold on.

I'm sorry, you can go.

Oh, we can go. Well, you haven't heard the last of this.

I can get out without them ever knowing I've been here.

What? I know it sounds crazy. I'll explain it to you when I get down there.

I'll be right over.

Earthquake wouldn't drag them away from that set.

Say, how much do you think that cop told them? Do you think they'll be mad at

us? Listen, if they are, our only chance is to be just as mad right back at

them. This whole thing wouldn't have happened if they hadn't been so wrapped

in their silly fight. That's right.

Now remember, we're going to be mad at them.

They make me sick. Another left. And a right. He's down!

Two most wonderful wives in the whole world.

Huh? What a couple of dolls.

Dolls? Certainly. Who else has such wonderful wives?

You knew that we wanted to watch the fight, so you stayed right here in the

kitchen and didn't bother me.

It was played by Frank Nelson, the policeman by Alan Jenkins, and the

by Larry Dobkin.

I love Lucy and the Desilu Production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

This is the CBS Television Network.