Original subtitles

Well, how do I look?

Gee, that's a beautiful dress.

Is it new?

Uh -huh. I thought I'd get all gussied up tonight.

You know, it isn't every day that Mr. and Mrs. Fred Mertz celebrate their 25th

wedding anniversary. That's right.

Gee, that's such a long time. 25 years.

Yeah.

25 years.

Sounds longer when you say it.

been married to Ethel for 25 years.

It is different with you.

Yeah, don't try to get out of it.

You know, I like to see their faces when they open the present.

You will. They haven't seen it yet. I had it delivered up here.

What? Yeah, I got it in the closet. In the closet?

Sure. How are we going to get it downstairs?

Oh, don't be silly. It won't be any trouble at all.

We're doing it for the mur -

television set for the

Well, yeah, yeah.

Push it up now.

Adjust it? Yes.

What are you going to do with it? I'll fix it.

I brought this just in case, you know.

Yeah, I'll fix this thing right away, buddy.

I got to take the plug first, you know.

They're disconnected.

Now put them together, see?

Yes. Oh, gosh.

Could I have...

This is your own rehearsed, spontaneous testimony.

My own rehearsed, spontaneous testimony.

Right.

And we don't need a lawyer.

No.

How about an interpreter?

Now, that's not trying to be funny. I'm trying to think.

Wait a minute.

Oh, I know. Here.

You sit here on this chair. This is the witness chair.

friends, Mr. and Mrs. Fred Mertz.

Okay,

Mrs. Ricardo, please go on.

Without knowing and in good faith... I object, Your Honor. The witness has been

rehearsed.

But remember, you're on a witness stand.

Yes, sir.

In good faith, but not knowing that they were preparing to stab us in the back,

we brought them, as a token of our esteem, an expensive 20 -inch television

20 inches!

Little did we dream then that we would end up in court in front of such a

handsome, distinguished, and honorable jurist as you, your... honor.

an honorable jurist as you, Your Honor.

Well, uh, Mr.

Fred Mertz insisted on adjusting the set.

And in spite of my husband's repeated warnings, and my husband is an

specialist,

Attorney for the defense, would you care to cross -examine?

No, thanks, Your Honor.

I just want to call a witness who will tell us what really happened. That will

be for the court to decide.

That's all, Lucy.

That's all.

truth and nothing but the truth. Help me. I solemnly swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, which is more than someone in

room did, so help me.

You may sit down.

What are you trying to do, lose the case for us?

exactly what happened on that night in question.

Well, on the night of our wedding anniversary, the Ricardos came down to

apartment and forced their company on us without being invited.

As an excuse for an anniversary present, they brought us an old, broken -down,

second -hand television set.

Well, go on.

Well, the set was playing pretty good, which is a miracle in itself, when

suddenly Mr.

Ricardo, or... as he is more commonly known, Senior Know -It -All, took an axe

from his pocket and started hacking it.

It wasn't long before the set exploded and then this Cuban maniac forced us all

to go to his apartment and led us to his television set and with a look of

fiendish glee picked up my husband's foot and...

some slight discrepancy in your stories.

I think the only way we can get at the truth of this is to reenact the scene.

Bailiff, will you go into my chambers and bring out my television set?

Yes, Your Honor.

Now then, before we reenact this, I want to warn you all that this is a court of

law. You are under oath, and the penalty for perjury is $500 or 90 days in jail.

Mrs. Ricardo, will you show me exactly how Mr. Mertz pushed your husband out of

the way and ripped the back of the set off?

Well, Your Honor, now that I think of it, maybe it was

Ricky that took off the back of the set.

Really?

that she thinks of it. Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, Mrs. Mertz, I want you to go over there and show me exactly what happened.

Just where did Mr.

Ricardo hit the set with the axe?

Um... Now that I... I don't think it was exactly an axe.

I'll tell you what happened.

There was a couple of loose wires in the back of this television set.

A red one and a blue one.

And this dope tried to put them together.

Well, they're supposed to be together.

They are not supposed to be together.

Hey,

your honor.

They're loose here, too.

together couldn't cause an explosion.

Maybe it couldn't, but it did.

Oh, now, now, just a minute. I happen to know something about television sets

myself.

And I know positively that this could never cause an explosion.

Now, you must have done something else, did you?

Well, sir, with him yelling at me all the time, you know, I would also...

was obviously just one of those misunderstandings among friends.

Now I want you all to go into my chambers and talk this over and

each other.

After all, good friends are worth more than the price of a television set.

Now go on.

Take them in, Bailiff.

And when you come out, I want you all to be pals again.

lesson to all of us. We must never lose our temper.