Original subtitles

Good morning, dear.

What cooks with the breakfast?

Yes, dear.

Oh, breakfast, yeah.

What's so interesting?

Numerology. It's just that... Fascinating.

Oh, no. What happened to reading palms, tea leaves, and horoscopes?

Nothing, only this is so much better than any of them. Oh, it's a lot of

nonsense. It is not. Now, you read that book and see for yourself, Five.

Five? Yeah, that's your name in numerology. I figured it out.

Oh, no.

Drink your two before it gets cold.

Now, wait a minute. Before this thing gets out of hand, I think I better nip

in the three.

What's your language?

Now look, honey, you're a grown woman and this is the 20th century. Why don't

you forget all these superstitions and crazy ideas?

They're not crazy ideas.

For all you know, Ricky Ricardo, you might be going through life with the

name. Hey, I better figure out the right one for you. Maybe if you're something

besides five, it'll help our vibrations.

Lucy. What?

Don't you like the way I vibrate?

Oh.

Now you be quiet. Let me figure this out.

Let's see now. Two and three.

are five, and C is six.

Now we need four, and O is two.

There you are. That's the perfect name.

Uh -oh.

What is it?

Genevieve.

That'll be interesting.

Of course, you'll have to buy towels marked hers and hers.

Look, I got a wonderful idea. Why don't you just call me Ricky Ricardo and

forget all the numerology nonsense, huh?

The company is coming, and it's a fork. That means it's going to be a woman.

Oh, and my palm itches. You know what that means, don't you?

The woman is wearing woolen underwear?

No.

You didn't take a shower this morning.

No, it means I'm going to get some money.

Ah! Now, you just watch. A woman is going to come to the door today and give

some money.

I tell you what, my witch doctor friend.

I'll make a deal with you. What?

If a woman comes...

house and gives you some money, I will give you ten bucks.

Oh, you're a doll.

Thank you.

But. Oh, but.

Yes, but.

If this loaded female does not appear, you will forget all about these

horoscopes, numerology, and superstition, and all the rest of the

right? It's a deal.

It's a deal.

Good morning, Lucy.

She's a woman.

I guess so.

Well, thanks.

Now that that's settled, how are you, three?

I'm fine, seven.

Oh.

Five got on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Here's the mail. Mr. Six just brought it. Oh, thank you. And here's the dollar

borrowed from you yesterday.

I better leave for rehearsal before I lose my sanity.

Goodbye, three.

Goodbye, five.

Why do you have that idiotic smile on your face?

I was just thinking of a perfect 16, I used to know.

Oh, get out of here.

Hey, by the way, my barber is going to call this morning to see if I can make

this afternoon for a haircut.

Lucy. Wait a minute, here it is. Gemini, Gemini.

This is your big day. Everything you do today will turn out well. Okay, Ricky,

it's all right for you to get a haircut.

Well, I don't know.

I'm worried.

About what?

You better look up the barber and see if it's a good day for him to get me a

haircut. Oh.

Now you go on. You feel free to say yes to everything today, no matter what it

is. Oh, boy, will I?

I'm Leo.

And the old lion sure is in a rut. It says exactly the same thing it said

yesterday. Really?

Yeah. Matter of fact, this is yesterday's paper.

What? Uh -huh. Oh, no.

And I told Ricky to say yes to everything today, and this may be his no

Oh. What did I do with today's paper?

Oh, no.

Oh.

Here it is.

Gemini, Gemini, Gemini.

What does it say? This is not your day. Danger lurks everywhere.

Climb in a hole and pull the hole in after you.

Don't agree to anything.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, poor Ricky.

Out with a yes on his lips on a no day.

He shouldn't even go to the barber. He might lose an ear or something.

That must be the barber.

Hello? No.

The answer is no.

Look, Ricky told me you were going to call and the answer is no. N -O.

See here, what is your name?

Meriwether? Well, listen, Meriwether. I'm going to recommend to Mr. Ricardo

he have nothing more to do with you. One of his sideburns is always higher than

the other anyway. Goodbye.

I'd take care of Meriwether. You sure saved Ricky from that. I'd better call

at the club and tell him to come home and hide. I gotta go. So long, three.

Goodbye, seven.

reading the wrong newspaper. This is one of your bad, bad days of all time. You

can't talk to anybody or transact any business. You better get in bed and pull

the covers over your head.

I think I'm reasonably safe sitting here.

Well, honey, I don't know.

Did anybody call?

Just the barber. I told him no. Nobody else? No.

Well, good.

I came back because I remember I'm expecting a very important phone call

this morning.

What about?

I don't want to talk about it.

It's bad luck to talk about a big deal before it's set.

Just keep your fingers crossed.

Well, if it's that big, I'll do better than that.

Aren't you overdoing it a little?

I'm not finished yet.

Well, that should keep the bad spirits away. Now go in the kitchen and do your

dishes and don't think about it anymore.

The call should come through any minute.

Well, I'm not going to uncross anything.

That's good, because I want to make sure to talk to Mr. Merriweather personally.

What's the matter?

Ricky, what's your barber's name?

Nick.

Nick what?

Vasculopus.

Just as a matter of idle curiosity, who's Mr.

Merriweather? Well, I guess there's no harm in telling you. He's one of the

biggest theatrical producers in town.

And he's going to call me here this morning and offer me a job in one of his

next shows.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, yeah, wonderful.

Oh, honey, this thing comes through, all our worries are over.

You can have anything that you ever dreamed about. I'm going to buy you the

biggest diamond ring in town.

Diamond ring? Yes, and I'm going to buy you a full -length mink coat. A mink

coat? And the longest, shiniest Cadillac in the whole world.

Is there something wrong?

Oh, Ricky, I've done a terrible thing.

But before I tell you, is there any chance that Bosco Lupus has changed his

to Meriwether?

Lucy?

Lucy?

What have you done?

Lucy, what have you done? I can't feel it.

She has something to tell you. Oh, how charming.

Uh, Mr. Merriweather, it was a big mistake saying no to you today. You see,

thought that you were... Oh, wait, please, please. I can't discuss any more

business today.

It's after 12.

After 12?

Yes, my horoscope says no more business afternoon today.

Oh, you follow horoscopes.

Yes.

I'm Scorpio.

Oh, I'm Taurus.

I'm cooked.

Well, won't you sit down?

Yes.

You see, you see, Mr. Merriweather, the reason that I said no was because

Ricky's horoscope said that it was a very bad day for him to accept anything.

Oh, yes, I understand perfectly.

Well, Mr.

Merriweather, if you understand, maybe we could discuss about... Oh, Ricky, if

the stars say that he can't discuss business, that means he can't discuss

Now, you see, important people like Mr. Merriweather are interested in

horoscopes, numerology, and all that.

Oh, you study numerology? Of course.

I'm a one.

I'm a three.

I'm a five.

We're all odd, aren't we?

Do you Ouija?

Do you Ouija?

Well, I'm not sure.

I mean, have you had any success with the Ouija board?

Oh, Ouija board. Oh, no, I haven't gotten around to that yet.

Oh, too bad. I've worn out three of them trying to contact my dear departed

Tilly who left me three years ago.

Oh, I understand.

I wish I could find a good seance.

You wouldn't happen to know where they're having one, Mrs. Ricardo, would

Well, now, it just happens that we're having a seance. at our house tonight.

We are?

Oh, we are, we are.

And we'd love to have you come. We just happen to have a vacant chair.

Oh, I just can't wait.

Who knows, I may even get to talk to Tilly tonight.

Lucy, this is just plain silly.

If Mr.

Merriweather finds out that we're doing this just for him, he'll never give me a

job. Oh, honey, he won't find out. Now, Ethel will be the medium, and you and I

and Fred will just sit here and hold hands.

Well, what good will that do?

Well, now, you never can tell. Before the evening is over, we may see a spook.

Don't tell me you invited your mother.

Well...

Introducing Raya, the medium.

Well done, medium Raya.

Ethel, you look sensational. That's a wonderful getup. Isn't it?

Fred, what are you doing with this? It's not a Shriner's convention, you know.

Come on, Fred. Help me get some ice. All right.

Oh, bring the bucket, will you?

Ethel, I want to tell you something before the boys come back. What?

I have a feeling we're going to contact the other side tonight.

Yeah? What makes you think so?

Shake hands with Tilly Merriweather.

Huh?

Ricky will kill me if he knows what I'm planning.

But after everybody gets seated, I'm going to sneak away from the circle and

going to be the voice of Tilly.

Where will you be?

Well, I'll be right over there behind you near the fireplace.

Help me with the chairs.

Listen, Fred.

Lucy will kill me for even thinking about this, but...

As long as we're going to go through with the seance, Mr.

Merriweather might as well really contact his wife.

Yeah. Now, would you care to help me, Mrs.

Merriweather?

I think you've snapped your twigs, son.

Now, look, Fred, it's very simple.

All you have to do is pretend that you have a headache and that you want to go

downstairs to bed, see? Then as soon as the seance gets going, I'll stamp my

foot twice.

You sneak up.

and pretend to be the voice of Mrs. Merriweather.

Now, do you think you can sound like a female spirit?

Well, I don't know, but I can certainly try, old dear old boy.

Good girl.

I mean... I mean, good boy.

Now, listen, Fred, don't be too obvious about the headache.

We don't want them to suspect anything.

Don't ham it up.

Is something wrong?

It's my head.

Oh. Aren't we going to have fun at this seance?

Well, I guess so.

You look seriously ill to me.

Oh, if it's his head, he's all right. There's nothing up there to hurt.

Why, you cruel, heartless woman.

Speaking to a sick man like this without any sympathy.

Fred, you better go to bed downstairs.

Go to bed, Fred.

Mrs. Ricardo.

Good evening. Oh, good evening, Mr. Merriweather. I'll take your coat and

Thank you.

Mr. Merriweather, I'd like to present Madam Ethel Mertzola. She's going to be

our medium tonight.

She's psychopathic.

How do you do?

Oh, how do you do?

Oh, I've been thinking about this all afternoon.

You know, I have a feeling that tonight I'm going to contact Tilly.

So have I.

Well, is everybody ready? Yes, I feel real prancy. Good.

You sit here, Mr. Merriweather. Ricky, you're over there, dear. All right. I'll

turn out the light.

Okay, I'll move this one over here.

All right, madam.

Now, everybody join hands.

Now, everybody close their eyes and keep them tightly closed.

The spirits must not see the whites of your eyes.

Close your eyes and concentrate.

Hello! Oh, excuse me.

God bless you.

Oh, thank you.

I am now going into a trance. I shall try to contact Tilly.

The next voice you hear... will be the voice of Tilly.

Oh.

What's the matter?

My foot was weak.

Oh. Is everyone comfortable now?

I'm comfortable. Are you, Ricky?

Yes, I am. How about you, Lucy?

Yes, I'm comfortable.

All right. Here we go.

I shall now...

Ethel to Tilly.

Ethel to Tilly.

Come in, Tilly.

Over.

Ethel!

Tilly?

Tilly, is that you?

Yes, it's me, Tilly.

Tilly, that's me.

Are you sick?

Sick? I'm dead.

so disappointed in you.

Oh, well, I have to go now.

Oh, no, no, no. Wait, Tilly, wait.

Tilly, I've always wanted to ask you something.

What?

Tell me, Tilly, who did you like the best, me or Mrs.

Merriweather?

Huh?

I said, who did you like the best, me or Mrs.

Merriweather?

the most exciting day in my life.

Kitty like me, the best.

Oh, and now, now if, if I may, I would like to try and contact Mrs.

Merriweather. Mrs.

Merriweather?

Well, all right.

Ethel to Mrs. Merriweather. Ethel to Mrs.

Merriweather. Come in, Mrs. Merriweather.

Over.

Is that you, my dear?

Yes, darling.

Darling? That doesn't sound like Adelaide.

Shut up, you worm.

That's Adelaide.

Oh, what terrible memories it brings back to me.

Uh, my trance is wearing off. I think you better hang up now.

Goodbye,

Adelaide. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Tilly.

Yes, yes.

Well, I must dash home immediately and write it in my diary. I'll get your

sir. Thank you. Oh, Mrs. Ricardo, I just can't thank you enough.

Oh, it's been a pleasure. Good night, Madam Mazzola.

Oh, good night.

I'll walk you downstairs.

Lucy, you were great. I'd never have known you did those two voices.

I didn't.

You didn't? No.

Ethel, you underestimate your transmitter.

You really contacted the other side.

I did? Yes.

Oh, Lucy, I'm frightened.

Oh, my.

But you know that other voice, Mrs.

Merriweather? It was real.

It certainly was.

Red Mertz, you were the other voice. Yeah, and I thought Tilly was a real

Wait a minute, wait a minute. There's something else I don't understand.

If Tilly wasn't Mrs.

Merriweather, who was she? Oh, well, Mr.

Merriweather explained that to me, and he paid you a great compliment.

He said he knew it was the real Flynn because it sounded exactly like Tilly if

she could talk.

Oh, that's very flattering.

If she could talk.

Well, you see, Tilly was Mr.

Merriweather's cocker spaniel. Oh!