Original subtitles

Come in.

I know.

If you'd just like to follow me through to the studio.

Yoo -hoo!

Lester!

Look what I've brought you.

This is Mr. Rose.

And he's going to do you proud, love.

Mrs. Snape.

Gillian. How do you do?

How do you do?

She's all yours.

Now, may I take your coat, Mrs Smith?

Thank you, dear Ruth.

A

drink.

Get us in the mood. Not much on offer, I'm afraid.

A glass of sherry would do nicely.

My word.

Quite an act to follow.

Hmm?

Ah, it is.

Most of them dead, alas.

So now you're stuck with me.

Our father died just over a year ago, Mrs. Weintraub.

And my sister had this idea of lifting Mother's spirit.

Stupid idea.

Oh, don't start all that.

We paid for her to have a makeover.

It's a data beauty parlour all over pampering.

Sixty -six quid it cost us.

And the photograph was extra, which they did not make clear at the outset.

I paid my share of it. We're not saying you didn't, Lisette.

This is your mother, is it?

He's given her nice shoulders.

It's not all he's given her, our Mr Rose. Do you mind?

Twelve weeks is all it took him to get his feet under the table.

They're getting married on Saturday.

What is it you don't like about him exactly?

Well, he's a Casanova.

A mature woman is infinitely more beguiling

to me than a young slip of a girl.

Not only that, he's a bare -faced liar.

Public school, Stonehurst.

Captain of the Rugby 15.

It's all tosh. He was never there.

Brian went over and checked the records.

You've just got to look at him, Mrs Wainthrop.

He's seedy.

He's only got the one suit that we've ever seen.

And his shoes.

Well, before she bought him a new pair.

Italian. Very snazzy. The point at issue is...

There's money involved.

Not just this house, but quite a substantial amount in stocks and shares.

Father did very well out of polythene bags and bin liners. And our seedy

friend is out for every penny he can get his hands on.

We think he's tried it before on others.

Without much success if he's having to try again.

What gives you this idea?

Well, he's got no bank account, no medical history and no credit rating.

Well, not under the name of Rose anyway.

You've found this out?

Oh, Brian didn't like what he had to do. All right, I'll answer for myself,

Kelly. The law's an ass in that quarter.

But my prime concern is for Gillian. Oh, come off it, Brian.

She's my mother, not yours.

Can't she live her life without you hounding her?

I'm sorry, Mrs Weintraub.

It wasn't my idea to call you.

She's wrong.

We want to stop a horrible mistake.

What you're asking, if I'm reading you right...

is that I investigate this man's past in the hope of finding something

incriminating. Never mind incriminating. It's anything that proves our point,

and you've got five days to do it.

How are we going to start?

You start with what you know, Geoffrey.

Here, slow down.

I'm not showing me colours just yet, so it's all on you at this stage.

Get in there and ask for information on a makeover.

What's a makeover, Mrs. Wayne?

It's when you have yourself done over, top to toe, facial, body massage, legs

whacked, unwanted hair removed.

I'm not going in there asking for that. Get in.

You couldn't have chosen better, love.

Auntie Mabel will feel a ton of difference back to how we've done with

Oh, is that her there?

No.

Yes, yes.

Haven't you spoiled with the bride?

I told her I was coming in to see my girlfriend, asking her out like on a

you know.

Come back when you're saving, Chuck.

When she's had this makeover, my auntie, She goes and has a photo taken.

Over there is it.

They say this Leicester rose is the best.

They've been going four months, the salon and Mr Rose.

Doing quite nicely.

I asked was he married, because my auntie Mae was widowed. Oh, well.

She laughed.

Said she'd been asked that before, but he's spoken for.

Well done, Geoffrey.

They've just gone in over there.

What now, I wonder?

Well, if we know where he lives, I could go and have a look round, get chatting

to a neighbour.

You could.

Even though we're clutching at straws.

26 Radley Street.

I'll keep watch on things here.

Where's Radley Street?

Don't ask me.

Ask a policeman.

I don't know what I've done to deserve you, Lester.

I thought my chance of happiness had gone forever.

And you were wrong, weren't you?

You can still change your mind.

I won't sue you for breach of promise.

Don't believe my eyes, Geoffrey, I don't.

What you've done is a violation of somebody's rights, don't you know that?

It weren't theft, Mrs. Wainthrop. I was looking for clues.

Clues? You broke in. You stole. What damage did you do?

Nothing. Just lifted the window.

Geoffrey, not back to the bad old days. Oh, I thought, I truly thought we

drummed all this out of you once and for all.

Right, I'll take it back then.

You can't take it back now.

He might be there and then you'd be nicked for breaking and re -entering.

It goes back first thing tomorrow.

After he's gone off to work.

Do you understand that, Geoffrey?

Right, no problem.

In the meanwhile...

What do you say we should do, Robert?

Hmm?

Oh.

What's done can't be undone.

You might as well open it.

There were racing papers in his room, with horses ringed. So he's a betting

That would account for his shabbiness.

The Queen Mary.

April 1963.

What would he be doing on that?

Ship's photographer, perhaps.

Hey, do you think it was the monkey that chewed the golf ball?

You've got a mate called Studger who's in no day.

Darling Ricky, when are you coming to ruffle my feathers, your fluffy little

barn owl?

Ricky, June 63.

It's two months after the Queen Mary.

I dress leather.

I wonder if she's still there.

You're quite an old barn owl by now.

Do you think this is the fluffy little barn owl?

Well, just another one of his conquests.

With BM.

Southport, August 93.

Can you find anything from that?

Ah, yes, Inland Revenue, red.

But it's not for Mr Rose.

Who's it for, then?

Mr Peterson, 12 Mallard Road, Southport.

Will you do something for me tomorrow?

As long as it's not breaking the law. All right.

Be outside the photo shop when he comes out at dinner time.

See where he goes, who he talks to, and what he gets up to generally.

And what will you and Jeffrey be doing?

We'll be photocopying this.

And this.

And this.

And we'll be taking this back.

And then we'll be off to the seaside.

Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you.

You haven't seen a black Labrador, have you, running this way?

I was walking her for a friend. She's got an ulcerated leg and the lead

out of my hand and the doggy went off.

Well, now, he hasn't come my way.

Does he have a disc?

Telephone number?

What name does he answer to?

Blackie. Blackie? Yes.

That's handy.

Now, you see, you were coming down here and you last saw him running where? No,

I was coming up there and the dog went off down there.

Ah, in the general direction of home. Yes. His home. Yes, well, that's where

lives. Oh, well, that's where he's probably headed.

Why don't you try there first?

Yes, I will.

Thank you.

Becky! I do hope you find him.

Try next door?

Someone of the older generation, I think.

With a keen eye on the world.

No, no, they weren't called Rose.

What were they called, Arnold, that couple opposite 12 months back?

No, no, he were Richard, and she had a fancy name, Double Barrelled.

My husband'll know.

Was it Peterson?

I don't think they were married, but they were very pleasant. He always had a

twinkle. But her, if my memory serves me... Wasn't there something wrong with

her?

Anyway, one day, she vanished.

Vanished? Yes.

In the thin air.

How do you mean?

Well, one day she were there, the next she were gone.

And he, well, my husband will tell you, I mean, he were like a lost soul for a

day, and then he were gone too.

I think they left Owen money.

Always a shame when that sort of thing happens.

Didn't they leave Owen money?

Would you remember what he did for a living, Mrs Whittle?

Oh, I think he was on the smudge.

Snapping tourists on the front.

He had a monkey on a chain.

And they, um, they used to drink in the steps, wasn't it? Oh, Arnold will know.

These are detectives, dear. They've come to ask after that couple across the

road. Caught up with him at last, have you?

Well, tell him he still owes me 20 quid. Well, I never knew that.

You didn't know that, had I? Because I never told you.

them as mr and mrs peterson but your wife doesn't think they were married

weren't what were the christian names richard and beatrice marie but if it's

you want you could try digging up that back garden if that's what you felt mr

whittle you'd have told the police i said note then and i'm saying note now

fear of upsetting the wife right it's for others to find out good day

Excuse me for interrupting, but I want some advice.

It's my wife's birthday today, but I'm no pun to myself, so what do you

recommend?

You're asking me, sir, to pick you a wither.

You don't have to. It's just that you have the look of a man who might have

heard a whisper from the stable yard.

Well, then, now, is it pizza tonight, or do you wish to dine a la carte?

Sorry? Is your dear lady worth risking your shirt for?

Oh, she's certainly worth something.

But I couldn't afford more than a tenner.

I'm redundant, you see.

Nuku Puku. Hey, Doc, the 130.

Oh, right.

Nuku... Puku.

Form good, is it, eh? No form at all. That's why it's 40 to 1.

Oh, right.

Everything to play for.

Hmm.

Nuku Puku.

Yeah, I remember them. They'd be sat over there, lunchtime and evening, two

three times a week.

Look, somebody's left my money.

We're trying to trace them.

Money? Well, that's lucky.

You owe plenty.

So he'd have run up a slate, then.

Who'd settle up?

Mrs. Peterson?

Beatrice Marie?

What's that to you?

It's perfectly common in cases of this kind.

Is it?

Yes, because we're also representing some of his creditors.

So with this windfall he's had, we aim to get everyone satisfied.

He left doing me £42.

Give a shot, Henry.

For some things.

So back to my question.

What admitted Peter?

I have a mostly her purse.

Except when he won.

Then I have to admit he were a gentleman.

Drinks all round.

Her purse?

Yeah, he'd bring it up to the bar with him.

Big black velvet thing with a gold snake catch on it.

What, then one day they'd just stop coming?

The person you want is Studger. Mr Sturridge.

He knew them best.

That's a lot, mate, Studger.

Where do we find Mr Sturridge?

Fish and chip parlour. He owns it.

Out of here, up to the front, left, and follow your nose.

You go over, Jeffrey.

Not there, but there.

I never heard what happened to them.

But the night they were last in, she was upset.

Upset?

She ran through that door crying her eyes out.

And he was just sat there with his head in his hands.

That's all I can tell you.

You've been most helpful.

Thank you.

Oh, Detective Chief Inspector Adams.

Well, could you tell him to ring Hetty Weintraub at home after five o 'clock?

Yes, of course it's urgent.

What was she crying about, Lester?

Was it a row that night which led to violence?

Murder?

He's out, is Mr. Sturridge.

Oh, that's a pity.

He'll be back about six, they said.

Well, we must press on.

The fluffy little barn owl in living.

No, we'll leave her to flutter her wings another day, I think.

We've got to solve this vanishing act mystery.

I need to get home for that.

I'll have to leave Sturridge to you.

Oh, great.

Don't eat too many of those. It's not good for your pimples.

Hello?

Robert!

What?

Abandon the cake?

Yes. So what have you, the con artist?

If he makes her laugh, feel good, who's a lucky girl?

Unless you've found something.

Have you? Nothing yet.

But whether I do or don't, either way helps your mother, doesn't it?

What you have to understand is we're a jealous and mean -spirited lot.

You can blame our father for that.

He treated us all like dirt, Mother especially.

When Mr Rose moves in, if he does...

You'll be looking for a place, I imagine.

Me? I can't wait to get out.

I'm only here to see Mum, all right.

She was depressed, stuck in this house.

I tried to get in a housekeeper.

Husband and wife, in for the garden.

But now, with the miracle of Lester Rose... I've got the gate, love.

Oh, you've got company, dear.

Mother, this is, um... Mrs Winstanley.

I came about the housekeeping, Mrs Snape, and my husband is gardener. Your

daughter was kind enough to see me. Oh, was she?

Yes, of course. The housekeeper?

Well, I'm not sure. I'm taking it over. I don't think it would quite suit. My

husband's back, you see. The gardener would be too much for him. Thank you for

your time.

Lady come about the housekeeping, dear, but she's just leaving.

You've got to step further with that ducky. You're rupturing yourself.

We've met before, haven't we?

Oh, I'd lost my dog.

That's right, yes.

This morning, outside my house.

Did you find him?

He went home, just like you said.

Oh, I'm so relieved. Lester Rose.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Thank you.

My dear Lisette.

I've arrived, it seems.

It seems you have, Lester.

Where now?

Upwards? Well, you should know, dear.

Outside your house, Lester.

Yes.

Nothing to do with me.

I walked right into him.

Hang on a minute, love.

Who are we talking about?

Oh, Lisette Snape and their mother.

And Mr.

Lester Rose.

I think it's all getting a bit too much for you, this one. You should take her

advice and quit.

I can't. Not now.

He could be a murderer.

That's what his neighbours think in Southport. They think there's a body in

back garden.

Come on, it's not like that at all. How do you know?

Because I met him as per your wishes.

I found him a charming fellow. He gave me a tip in the bookies. I put a fiver

each way on Nuku Puku in the 130 -year hay dock and watched him romp home

at 40 to 1.

55 quid I made us, love.

55 smackers.

Ain't coming.

What do you mean, ain't coming?

We've got the cold, Mr. Three.

Cold? We've all got stinking cold.

What was that again, son?

Got gems round here to kill off an army.

Richard Peterson.

Or you may know him as Lester Rose.

Who?

Peterson or Rose.

You were a friend of his, weren't you?

Who wants to know?

He's my uncle.

Uncle?

I'd see that.

Yeah, I've come to tell him he's been left some money.

Uncle Richard, money.

A fair bit, actually. In a will.

Not his auntie Dorothy.

Yeah. She was my great -aunt.

She's a grand old lady.

Do you add it special than a mushy pea?

Poor old Aunty Dorothy.

Snutters at last, has she?

And they sent you, did they, to tell me about it?

To help find him.

Last we heard, he was living in Mallard Road with his girlfriend, Beatrice

Marie.

Shog off, Sonny.

What? No, this is important.

There is no Aunty Dorothy. I just invented her.

And what would Uncle Richard be doing with a scruffy little oink like you, eh?

He's a tough.

Went to public school.

Well, are you, Last Sunshine?

Yeah, all right.

Fair enough.

But you wouldn't believe what I really am.

Wouldn't I?

No, you wouldn't.

I'm a private detective.

Well, fancy that.

You're just what I'm looking for.

Picking over the bones of this case and Geoffrey not here to keep my little grey

cells in order.

I don't know which way to turn.

Well, it's about women and money.

Left to play at the horse, he's looted more than he wins, so he skips off, oh,

in money.

His friend Studger... Studger?

I've never heard of anyone called Studger before.

Helpful contributions only, please, Robert.

Studger. That neighbour at Southport. The income tax.

I prefer them golden brown to black as your hat.

They are golden brown.

Deep golden brown.

You go and sit down, love, and I'll serve up.

All right.

Where do you go next with that kind of life?

As far away as possible from people like Studger who want their money back.

That. Right.

And if you've got the cheek of the devil and a pleasing eye for the ladies...

Then you're home and dry.

And very nice, too.

Hope Geoffrey's eating properly.

I miss his helping hand, Robert, to keep me on the right path.

There's a wide old head on those young shoulders.

I wouldn't mind a young head on these old shoulders.

I'll go.

The question is...

Who's set Leicester up in that shop in the arcade?

Lights, cameras, rent.

That doesn't come cheap.

Who's paid for all that?

Weyntrop Detective Agency.

It's Geoffrey. Oh.

Mrs Weyntrop.

I got myself a job at Mrs Durridge's fish parlor.

Clever, eh?

And where do you propose spending the night?

In a B &B.

Don't worry, I'm getting somewhere.

They were in the army together.

Germany.

Look, I've got to go.

I'll ring in tomorrow, OK?

Where is he?

In his idea of paradise.

There is nothing, Mrs Weintraub, no murder, not even a death recorded of one

Beatrice Marie Peterson in Southport at the date you mention.

Of course, it might have helped if we'd had a second name for definite.

Perhaps she hasn't been found yet.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Miss Devlin, I believe.

Yes?

Sydney Sturridge.

Remember me?

We met at your mum's funeral.

Oh, yeah.

Fish and chips.

Please, in this town, Mr Fish and Chips.

What do you want?

Are you still looking for her old pal, Ricardo?

Oh, he was such a beautiful young rascal.

He called me his barn owl.

Who could resist?

I was on the Queen Mary on my way home from New York.

Oh, he knew how to snap a girl.

Left to Rosie still. Oh, no, dear. He was Rick Peters then.

Rick, your boy.

Herbert never knew.

Oh,

but we were shameless.

And afterwards, you stayed in touch.

He never left my heart, if that's what you mean.

But Herbert, his legs have got him further than mine.

Sorry, what was your question?

Ricky came back.

Oh, yes.

But that was years later.

It was quite recent.

Turned up in his last pair of shoes.

Oh, what a date they were in.

And did you help him with money?

Well, good God.

What else would he want from me? A quick grope?

Mrs. McCarthy, I have to ask you.

Did he blackmail you not to tell your husband?

Blackmail?

Never. And what would poor old Herbert care now?

Oh, but he was a bastard.

No.

No, that was someone else.

Lester Rose.

Ricky.

Did you set him up in Blackburn? In his photography shop?

Well, of course.

Is he making a hash of it, that the Gee -Gees let him down?

Oh, no.

The Gee -Gees are running his way, Mrs McCarthy.

He's getting married.

At last I told him he should. I said, Ricky, darling, stop

farting about and find yourself a nice rich widow and all your troubles will be

over.

So I'm booked in.

The whole lot, including Poto.

Who's going to pay for it?

You are.

From your ill -gotten gains.

I was going to buy you a dress with that.

And an a la carte dinner.

Kind of you, Robert, but I've no pressing need for either.

No, Hetty, I can't let you do it.

You said yourself he could be a murderer.

And you said he was a charming fellow.

Yes, but all alone in his lair. Just the two of you and him knowing you're on to

him. Look, Robert.

I've done the investigation, and all I'm left with is other people's opinions.

But you... The only way I can get to the bottom of this is to decide for myself

by getting him on his own, revealing his true colours. Hetty! So no more

arguments.

And you can have tea ready for when I get back.

You know what I think?

I think you've fallen under his spell.

I've told you what I know, Mr Sturridge. You told me nothing.

That's not keeping to our bargain, is it?

Friday night, sunshine.

Frying tonight.

Plenty of time in the morning.

That's very good.

You're getting the hang of that.

We're in some detective agency.

You're looking for Beatrice Marie Devlin?

Who is this?

Hello?

Beatrice Marie Devlin?

Is that who I'm speaking to?

No.

But I know where you'll find her.

Lester?

Lester.

Look what I've brought you.

Good evening.

I've come to pick up my wife, Mrs. Waynthrop.

Oh, Mr.

Waynthrop, you're going to be so thrilled.

She's just getting finished off by Mr. Rose.

A drink to get us acquainted.

Only sherry, it seems.

Then I'll pass.

But I don't want to stop you having one.

I had a dog.

Yorkshire Terrier.

Got run over. I was six.

Cried my eyes out for days.

But then, what is life but a catalogue of wolves?

One scratches around looking for some skin to inhabit, don't you find? One

being this person, that person.

What does it all amount to in the end?

I find that a very sad view of life.

Then you must be one of the lucky ones.

Sure you won't join me in a glass?

Very well.

Just this once.

Good.

I hate drinking alone in the company of ladies.

Who would you like to be?

Would you care to choose a hat? I can offer you My Fair Lady.

Or The Wicked Lady.

Julie Andrews or Margaret Lockwood.

Can you do Marlena Dietrich?

Night, Mrs Webb.

See you tomorrow.

Good night, Wendy, love. Good night, Mr. Weintraub.

I hope you'll be pleased. She looks lovely.

See you.

There, now.

Oh, yes.

That's good.

Very good.

So, now.

Get here, Weintraub.

My dear old ducky.

How many bodies have you dug up from my putrefied past?

Was it Lizette told you?

No.

After the dog and the housekeeper, I was entitled to ask some questions of my

own, wasn't I?

No, it was that tiresome woman over the way.

It seems you're famous.

I have dug up some skeletons, Mr Rose.

Will you name them?

You've changed your name quite often.

Rick Peters.

Richard Peters.

Lester Rose.

And that's just the ones I found.

Rose.

My mother's name.

You know, I can understand that family wanting me vetted, but private I, who do

they think I am?

Bluebeard. They think you marry in Gillian for our money.

Yeah, well, who says I'm not? It'll come in very handy. Can't one turn over a

new leaf without dredging up the past? I am what I am, and she loves me. Isn't

that enough?

Oh, that's for taking the family silver.

Well...

She'll outlive me. They usually do, widows.

Turn your head towards me. Towards me?

Or do they seriously think I'm planning to poison her?

Oh, and you can tell that fellow Brian I was captain of rugby at Stoneyhurst

under the name I was born with, Leslie Richards.

And I've got a photo to prove it. In your tin box.

Ah, so you did take it.

It's something I regret. I'm sorry.

We put it back.

Thank you.

You didn't find the rugby team?

Oh.

Well, then, it's lost.

Mrs. Weintraub, all that's really undone me, and if you're any sort of

detective, you'll know it already.

There's a lot of the GGs who weren't always kind to me.

And beautiful women who most invariably were.

What happened to Beatrice Marie?

Does it usually take this long?

I'm going over there. No, no, no. He's just taking a lot of trouble. Getting it

right.

Don't fret, love.

I got a drop of gin under counter.

She's the only one of them I've truly loved.

Her illness was also her strength.

On her high days, sheer joy.

Marriage, yeah.

Too many clinics.

I'd already stopped her from ending it twice.

Then one night near...

Hebden Bridge, where she came from.

Where she now lies.

So, Mrs. Weintraub, are you going to shop me, or is the joke on me?

The person we have to consider is Gillian.

Tomorrow?

It's a punt, sir, grant you, but... odds of five to one, there's a bit of form.

You have to tell me now, old dear.

Will you be my guest tomorrow?

Or the spectre at my feast?

May I bring my husband?

I just can't believe it, Mr. Sturridge. Any of it.

Well, believe what you like, sunshine.

That's a bare -faced, rat -arse truth.

Yeah, but he's getting married today.

I think you ought to come with me. No, no, no, no. Can't stand weddings. Morbid

affairs. I'll see him after the honeymoon. He can pay me back the dot he

me.

Well, it seems he isn't marrying for money after all, Mr. Harbour.

He's come into some of his own. What?

A legacy from a late friend of his.

Our daughter got in touch with us yesterday.

Thank you for informing us, Mrs. Wayntrop.

I'm sure that's very good news for everyone.

Come on, Brian, dear.

It's a family affair.

Mrs.

Weintraub, I've got to talk to you.

Let them get their nuptials done. Mrs. Wayne's wrong. Yes, we know it all,

Geoffrey. You can't know the half of it. About Beatrice Maria and how she took

her life, poor soul.

Right, and the life insurance she took out from him a couple of years back. He

can pay for all this now. Yes. Or is it still the bride who pays? Shh.

Oh, I know something else. What is it?

Mr. Rose, the groom, do you call it? Yes.

He's married.

Some fraulein in Germany, on his national service, after a drunken binge,

Sturgeon, Mr Sturridge said, he was his best man.

And as far as he knows, it whenever... What's the word?

Consummated? No, annulled. Never annulled.

Just cause or impediment.

We'll have to tell the registrar.

No, Robert, wait. Don't be hasty.

Are you sure this man was telling the truth, Geoffrey? Or was he playing a

No, why should he? He was dead serious.

We'd better be going.

I can't. We've got some honour.

We can't join that party if this is true.

Oh, look.

I'll have a quiet word with him after the honeymoon.

I'm sure there's a simple answer.

It'll be all right.

Doesn't seem all right to me at all.

Oh, Robert.

Let's give romance a chance.