All language subtitles for Head Case s03e04 Elizabeth Hughes

Previously on Headcase. So who knew at
this point of my professional caliber

that I would be a blushing bride?

Why do you want to get married?

Maybe I should introduce you to my
brother.

I'm blessed, really, but... I have
herpes.

Honey, what's yours is mine.

Okay, I feel that way.

What the fuck is it, buddy? People's
Choice Awards.

People's Choice Awards?

The pigs! I want a three -star!

I need ten minutes. Oh my God, that's
the guy from Heroes!

I am a drug representative.

You got any samples?

Plenty of samples. Perfect. I can
totally hook you up? I now pronounce you

and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Ew, it's fucking silly.

Introducing Mrs.

Burger!

Hi,

morning, Mr. Burger.

It's me.

Oh, I thought you were keeping your
name.

Honey? Yeah. I'm ovulating. Oh, Jesus.

Wait. And I think we should start a baby
right away.

Well, I, well, I just, okay.

I took my temperature.

Okay. Did you put it in? I know. Hold
on. I will. Hold on.

Do you want some coffee?

I'm feeling kind of sick, you know.

I'll have to drink.

Do you want to be on top?

No, I didn't.

I'm feeling it right now, you know.

Okay.

Quick. Quick.

You know, quick.

You want to play Scrabble?

No. No.

Not so much.

What's the matter?

I met somebody else.

What do you mean you met somebody else?
How could you meet somebody else?

I did.

Well, when did you meet her?

A few days ago. I didn't count. I don't
know what you're saying, Jeremy.

Well, you know, we didn't sign the
ketubah, so it's really not official

yet. We've only been married eight
hours.

I've got wedding presents all over my
hotel room.

I've got...

I can't. I just can't. Oh my god! How
can you humiliate me like this? Why

you tell me before? Why didn't you tell
me two days ago?

Sorry. I'm sorry. I gotta pee.

It's Paul, the concierge.

Why?

Why?

Is it true?

Is it true?

So it's going to go. You go in ahead.

A couple of steps ahead of me. You call
out. You hang back. I call out. I go in

after you. Got it?

Yeah. Excellent.

Go.

Go.

Dr. Good?

It's Paul, the concierge.

Elizabeth?

Elizabeth?

Oh, God.

I hope she's not dead.

Dr. Good?

Dr. Good?

Lizzie?

Lizzie?

Oh!

Dr. Good?

I'll take it from here, thank you.

Now

look

here. I will not let this happen to Dr.
Elizabeth Goode. You have worked too

hard!

You're going to come to my house, and
I'm going to look after you, and we can

have plenty of girls' nights.

You still live in the same place?

Yes, and so would I. Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no. Come on.

No man shall do this to you.

Come on. I know what you need.

I know what you need.

I'm going to get you back on your feet.

Yes, I am.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

Just to let you know, Paul,

I'm running things now.

So anything that needs to happen through
here goes through me. Okay? Great.

Thank you very much. That's the lock of
the towels. And we're just between us.

On your way, yes. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

This is unusual.

So what's been going on?

I could ask you the same question.
What's going on?

Listen, I'm sorry, Janine. I know.

This may look a little strange. I'm just
going through a personal issue, but it

will not interfere in our therapy.

I mean, not to delight in your despair
here, but I do prefer this setting.

It's a little more conducive to my state
of mind.

It makes me feel authentic.

Well, it makes it seem like maybe you
could empathize a little bit more.

you're so upbeat.

At least with me, anyway, to the point
where I feel like you're not actually

listening to me.

No, I think I've, um... I've turned a
corner.

I don't, uh... I think I finally have,
uh, kissed pain on the lips.

Clearly.

Lady, go.

Look in this bag.

That's LeVar Devon.

LeVar Devon?

Glovartivan. Glovartivan. Yeah, that's
the drug. I mentioned it earlier, but we

got it now. You can take one or two of
them if you want. And this relieves

anxiety.

Reduces anxiety.

It doesn't relieve it.

Increases energy.

And the craziest thing is people are
euphoric when they taste it. Just take a

couple of them. Is this on the market
yet? Not even on the market. We're going

to be printing money with this.

Janine, I was married for about eight
hours, and my

husband... told me that he's in love
with somebody else yeah so that's a

that's a real punch in the belly you
know what i mean and i'm just trying to

kind of figure out how to um walk if you
know what i mean you were completely

blindsided by it or did you i mean yes i
um i was very happy for those eight

hours no i mean Prior to the marriage,
you didn't know there was anything.

was no indication that he was.

I'm telling you, the drugs tell
themselves.

Are there any side effects?

Any drug. Water has side effects. Okay,
I'm just curious. What are they? Well,

there's the waxy discharge.

From where?

That can come from eye, mouth, or under
the fingernails. Okay, next.

Bloody stool.

No, towel.

You can sleep on a towel. And then
there's the unwanted lactation. But

it. Well, nobody wants that. It's
unwanted.

That's the whole point. They're all
possibilities and long shots. It's so

remote.

That's all a long shot, though. That's
three.

Come on. Do you hate men?

It's case by case. I'm not, you know.
Did you ever read the feminist manifesto

by the woman that shot Andy Warhol?

The Scum Manifesto? Yes. By Valerie
Solana? Yes. Yes, I have.

Is it a good read?

That's interesting.

I mean, it's, you know, I don't think
it's what you need right now.

I definitely would stay away from any
kind of avant -violent, misanthropic

manifesto. Am I going to be okay?

Yes. I think.

I don't know. That depends on you.

Do you want to wait down?

Do you want me to?

Is it king -size bed?

So you got stuff to spare here?

Yeah, take a couple of these samples,
but this is...

Just been approved by the FDA, and we
are... It is approved.

Totally approved by the FDA. Is it on
the market yet?

Not on the market. But it's going on the
market, right? Of course it's going on

the market. So just take a couple.

Yeah, take a couple more. Well, I'll
take a couple, and then I've got to run.

I've got to put this in the safe place.

Tuesday? You're going to come next week?

Tuesday.

If you were going to kill yourself,
would you do it in a motel

six in Paramus with pills?

No, no, definitely not in Paramus.

But I have actually thought about it.
What I think I'm going to do when the

of days are nigh is I'm definitely
jumping off the top of my building in

York. Can I come with you?

If you want to, but I'm not planning on
doing it until 2012.

No!

Lizzie?

It's Jeremy.

Hi. Are you depressed? I'm so depressed
I can't eat.

Don't you ever want to take your own
life? Okay, listen, I'm calling because

need to move forward.

You know, and we need to do this.

Icky as it's going to be, I'd rather not
spend a lot of money on lawyers than

you do, like, a mediator. I'd like
publicity, but not, like, the bad

I only like the good magazines and
stuff. Jeremy, do you ever stop to think

right now...

We would be on our honeymoon, you know,
we'd be on this beautiful white sand

beach drinking piña coladas.

Uh, no, not really. I mean, you know,
it's, uh, I mean, who does a beach for a

honeymoon anymore, really? It's kind of
last year, don't you think? A lot of

people go to Europe nowadays.

Where are you? I'm on the 405.

It's, uh, it's crazy right now. It's
wall to wall.

I have herpes running down the inner
thighs.

They go all the way to my knees. I can't
stop it from itching.

What's your name?

Melissa. And Jeremy.

I chew on my tongue till it bleeds at
night and I don't even know it because

asleep.

Good morning, staff. Welcome to
Operation Buy Our Bootstrap. In the

absence, I am in charge. Any questions,
any problems, refer them all to me,

although I will be very busy, so please
don't be wasting any of my time.

The doctor will be gone until further
notice.

When's she coming back?

I just said until further notice. Well,
what about her patients?

The patients are handled. I'm handling
everything in her absence.

How is the doctor doing?

Well, she's terribly fragile, Ron
Giulio. Bless you for asking.

I could call my brother, and he could
kick the fucking little peaches out.

Oh, bless Ron Giulio.

No, no, no, we'll be handling this. Not
a bad idea. Really, really, we've got

this handled. It is going to be handled
in an organic, holistic manner. I got

something I could give her. She won't be
requiring any medication.

Yeah, but I have some great stuff,
strong stuff. I'm in charge. I'm running

handling of how Dr. Good is feeling at
the moment.

I don't want you to question me, argue
about what... Meeting

adjourned.

You got a brother?

Oh, yeah. My younger twin brother.

Were you born at the same time? Does he
look like you? Why don't you just say

it?

Elizabeth.

Stop.

I'm sorry I'm a little late this
morning, but I have a lot of emails and

to catch up on. I think we need a staff
meeting. Let's start this Monday morning

off with a bang.

May I take your coat? Yes.

The other thing, Lola, is I am starving.

I need you to get some bok choy, dark
chocolate, a Nutri -Tail or any kind of

rodent, some tangerine, some rhubarb,
some dried corn nuggets, some St. John's

words, shiitake mushroom, a little bit
of gelatin, cayenne pepper, and lemon

juice. And I need you to blend it. No,
no, no, no, no. Because I can't eat.

Oh, but it's looking like it's
improving.

Yes, but it's... Okay.

Well, I'll, um...

I'm going to start with some clothes for
you because I've been to the dry

cleaning. So that's lucky.

Yeah. And then I'll put your lunch order
in. Oh, and don't forget to walk the

dogs.

You don't have any?

Very good.

I'm back.

And really, really good.

I just want to go through a few new
office rules. One is I wish the whole

was women and not men.

And maybe not look at me so much the
first few days or touch me.

No hearts, no Valentine's Day. I don't
want any gifts. Most of these gifts can

be taken back and given to charity.

Any questions?

Another thing is that I will still be
being patient.

We're still going to take our lunch from
1 to 2.

Uh, everybody still has their chores.

And the ring, I'll be taking it. No!

No!

Oh!

No!

I can wear the ring!

Still a working office!

You're gonna handle this holistically?

Hi. Hi, I like the whole, the new
wallpaper and the powder realm.

Well, it's good to see you again. You
know, I look forward to these sessions.

So what's the problem this week?

Afraid of spiders?

Jell -O?

Meat?

Pretty much the same as before.

You know, when you have more than one
girlfriend.

Although my experience has been that
several girlfriends is easier than just

one.

Look, we need to make sure that the
doctor does not see these, okay? Okay.

Produce!

Brian? Mama?

Hey. That was quick.

Yeah, well, we aim to please.

Okay, bring it in. Put this in here?

Yeah.

We got everything that you wanted. As
you know, the fruit of the future. And

everything that we at Produce do is
organic.

How you doing?

Oh, fantastic.

What's wrong with just one? I mean, it's
there your soulmate.

I think, you know, maybe safety in
numbers.

I don't understand because I think
monogamy is the most important aspect

of human nature.

Why can't we be like penguins?

Why indeed?

I had a husband who I don't have
anymore.

And I'm just curious, is there something
wrong with this that you think that

maybe somehow steered him away?

Well, I don't know. I mean, is this what
we're going to talk about in this

session? What is wrong with this? Every
week we deal with one of your issues,

and guess what? Today I have to talk
about mine, and I'm just taking

of the fact that you created sex, and I
am without it.

You know, we do the niche vegetables,
the multicolor heirloom tomatoes. Those

are nice.

And we also do... I'll just get the
phone and then I'll be back. Okay.

Hello.

How are you?

Good. You?

I'm good.

I'm good. Oh. Yeah.

Have you ever in session with me for
once thought about what it would be like

tap this?

Yes, I have.

Yeah? Yes. And?

Well, I can only say that I've thought
about it. That's all I can say. Okay. If

I can't interest you as a ripe woman...

Maybe there's something you can do to
help me. Maybe it would help me in my

dating life and my self -esteem. Maybe
you can flip me into one of the issues,

you know? It doesn't have to be the fold
-out. Maybe it's raining and it's an

umbrella and it's, you know, I just
don't know, but I feel like that would

me. You think that would help? Yeah, I
mean, you tell me what you think.

Uh, what, uh, what is the, um...

So how's it going?

Good. Yeah?

Yeah.

So you guys, you work with somebody in
business? What?

No, we run our own business.

You run your own business? Yeah, we sell
produce.

How's that working out?

Good. We're just starting. Why am I in
here?

Well, I asked you if you wanted to come
in and talk, and you said yeah.

Remember?

Yeah, no, I remember. You didn't black
out or anything? No, I remember that.

Hi. Elizabeth?

I'm coming back to the office.

Are you okay?

No, I just keep seeing weird things. Hi.

Dr. Good?

Hi, Bridget. What's up?

Oh, I'm just, you know, I just saw Hef.

Yeah, how is he? Same old, same old.
Okay. Did you say anything about me?

Oh, Bridget, I can't tell you. Look at
you.

You look so springy. Thank you. Look at
you.

You look so, um, is everything okay?

Oh, my God, girl, what's the matter?

Let me help you.

Let's go to the game house, OK?

Are you Jewish?

Yeah. Yeah, I am. But Finkelstein.

Dr. Myron Finkelstein.

We got a lot of African stuff in here.
Yes. Are you, like, an African Jew?

No, I have nothing to do with Africa.

I just like to work.

All right. Because that would be, like,
strike two.

What are you doing in here in the
darkroom? Oh, we weren't

doing anything.

What are you looking at?

Let's go, Midnight Cowboy. Let's ride.
All right. We got the coin.

Yeah?

He looked kind of bloated to me, if I'm
honest.

He looked cute. I've got to go. I have a
bladder infection.

Where's my lunch? Here it is.

Um, thank you.

Drink up.

Listen, I wanted to just reiterate.

If you feel like you want to come to my
house, just chill out. You know, just a

little girl night.

Have you moved?

No, it's still borderline downtown
Silver Lake.

Laura's here. Hey, Laura.

Laura, how do you deal with rejection
year to year?

I hurt myself a lot.

What's the longest you've ever been
without some kind of a personal upset?

For instance, what about that guy you
caught him in bed? What was that?

Well, I thought we were going to get
married, actually. It was my ex. We'd

going out for three years.

I found him with a 26 -year -old Asian
girl.

Everything you used to be.

You need to figure out how to have a
personal relationship.

You need to learn how to be in a
relationship with somebody that doesn't

on you.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I got to meet my
husband and a mediator in 10 minutes.

know, I wish I could bring a mallet.
Who's mediator?

He got some woman to mediate. It'll
probably take 10 minutes. That doesn't

any sense. There's a mediator on his
side? Who's on your side?

I went to Wellesley. I can handle.

I can handle. Who's representing you? I
don't have somebody to represent me.

Well, that's ridiculous. I'll do it.

Are you a lawyer?

Yes, I am.

I'm as credited as any lawyer. I've just
done it online.

And they have like these kind of sample
cases and stuff that you do. And I've

won every one.

And you could come with me?

Oh, yeah.

Wait a minute. When I face my husband
and his mediator, I'll have a lawyer?

you will. It'll be like Thelma and
Louise. It'll be like two strong women.

God, we're going to win!

So, thanks for coming today.

This is a voluntary settlement
conference, and your lawyer... The one

hoodie.

Your lawyer has come here today with you
with the hope that we resolve the

matter's incident to your divorce in
order... Does your client need a moment?

No, I just don't like the word divorce.

I could continue using this illusion.
Thank you.

Jeremy's going to really want pretty
much 50 % of everything.

This includes bank accounts, stock
portfolios, standards.

We also are going to need a copy of her
patient list on maybe a CD -ROM, if we

can get something like that by the end
of the week.

Also, he'd like to be the one that's
able to eat exclusively without you at

Ivy on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,
so there's no discomfort.

They keep it clean. I object, Your
Honor.

Well, go ahead.

Okay. Yeah, 2 o 'clock's fine.

No, he's got no problem with that.
That's great. Thank you.

Okay, bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Well, hello.

Why

did

you say you want 50 % of her ponytail?

This is all irrelevant. The marriage
wasn't consummated.

Oh, yes, it was.

No, it wasn't. Hey, we consummated. No,
we did not.

You gave me herpes. I didn't. Yes, you
did.

I didn't. He's riddled with STDs.

Order in the court, please. I'd like to
read something.

There's no cure for herpes to date.

Okay. Efforts to develop a herpes
vaccine by biotechnology companies are

ongoing.

This is my twin brother.

What? That I was telling you about?

He's younger.

This is your twin brother?

Mm -hmm.

Hi. Hi.

Well, anyway, let me go get my shit,
okay? I'll be right back. Okay, okay.

I love that guy. I know we love him,
too. He's a great asset to us here at

company.

Speaking of assets... Folks,

California is a no -fault state, so the
emotional distress claim is not really

going to help here.

Additionally... I believe your great
aunt left you some shares in a toy

which are worth about $4 ,000.

That was eight years old. It was for
braces.

We'd like half of that.

Okay, first of all, that's uncircumcised
evidence. Yeah.

What are you doing tonight?

Tonight? Yeah. Well, I hadn't really
thought about it.

Yeah? Yeah. Maybe we could have some
dinner.

Maybe. Some music.

I like music. Some wine.

I like wine.

I'll make love to you all night.

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You don't
have to worry about me. I'm very good

the heavy girl.

The what, dude?

You look like a woman that can handle a
good pounding, so I could just, like,

give it to you, like, seriously.

I, uh... Ready to go, bro? Yes, sir.

Well, it's a pleasure meeting you.
Hopefully we can, uh, maybe meet up

He's a nice guy, right? He's such a nice
guy. I love you, bro.

I wish I was more like you.

Yeah, yeah, bro.

So, we'll take it easy.

I'm willing to negotiate with you on
Fridays at the Ivy.

Please clarify.

We'll give that up.

Meaning?

He won't go there on Fridays, and she
may.

So we're saying the day after Thursday.

Correct.

Okay, we'll take it.

She's great. Right? Right?

Thank you very much. Thank you. Okay.

We won?

We did okay. We did good.

such a great night i really need a
friend and you have one oh but i'm so

know and it's but it's i it's just
really what's going on what's this uh my

oh no i'm the boss tonight

We're just having our anniversary and he
promised to take me to this beautiful

hotel, which he did. He's always good
for his promises.