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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,049 --> 00:00:05,490 Previously on HeadCamp. I will not be violated again! 2 00:00:05,870 --> 00:00:07,510 Are you sober now? I'm not drunk. 3 00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:08,930 We have a flower delivery. 4 00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:14,310 Who are they from, Lola? Jeremy Berger. There's someone on the phone for you who 5 00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:17,910 will not reveal who she is. What's she sound like? Is Myron Finkofte in there? 6 00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:20,690 Sounds like an old wife. So what do I do? Something different. 7 00:00:21,030 --> 00:00:21,808 Be creative. 8 00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:23,190 I don't do creative. I'm an agent. 9 00:00:23,430 --> 00:00:24,490 I'm gonna get you raped. 10 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:26,270 Raped? You're an actor? 11 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,880 I am. Let me ask you a question. How should we talk, huh? 12 00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:31,260 Who's your friend? Oh, this? Oh, this is my buddy. 13 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:32,540 Hi. Hi. 14 00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,700 Lola. He's Jeremy. 15 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:35,920 What? 16 00:00:37,060 --> 00:00:38,740 Love means never having to say. 17 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,000 You're sorry you complete me? 18 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,180 I'll make a reservation at Giorgio at 8 o 'clock tonight for two. 19 00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:48,900 You were so fucking good last night. Scale from 1 to 10. 10. 10? 10 is bad. 20 00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:50,140 Oh, 1. 1. 21 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,460 Hi, Lynette. This is Elizabeth Good. Can you patch me into the Palm Suite? 22 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:22,700 Right away, Dr. Good. 23 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,040 Hello, 24 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,320 Elizabeth Good's room? 25 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:41,580 Good morning again. 26 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:43,658 What's up? 27 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:44,660 I already miss you. 28 00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:45,900 I miss you. 29 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,250 I can't even walk. 30 00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:51,050 I need like a bag of frozen peas to put in between my legs. 31 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:54,090 God, we're fucking, what were you doing? What is that? What do they call that? 32 00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:55,330 Missionary deluxe? 33 00:01:57,170 --> 00:01:58,770 I mean, I haven't done that since high school. 34 00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:00,070 Are you hungry? 35 00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:01,370 Did you order some pancakes? 36 00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:05,390 No, you know, they make me bloated, gives me gas. 37 00:02:05,670 --> 00:02:08,130 Oh, Jeremy, isn't it so nice to be back together? 38 00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,370 It just feels right. 39 00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:10,589 Good stuff. 40 00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:13,670 All right, so I'll call you later. Okay. 41 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:40,150 How are you? 42 00:02:40,230 --> 00:02:41,370 You waiting for Dr. Good? 43 00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:45,710 Yeah. Do you have anything you want to talk about? If she's very late, you can 44 00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,290 just come into my office and we can talk. 45 00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:53,710 Yeah, you know, it's probably better if I just talk to Dr. Good, I'm guessing. 46 00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:57,150 Oh, yeah, but I'm just saying, you know, sometimes there's a pattern of 47 00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:59,830 lateness, and you might have other appointments. You might have something 48 00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:00,749 want to do. 49 00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:02,910 Yeah. No, I've got unit three that day. 50 00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:05,890 Bye -bye. 51 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,270 What? 52 00:03:09,509 --> 00:03:10,550 Because I'm a doctor. 53 00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:13,010 I can prescribe stuff. Yeah, you mentioned. 54 00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:17,150 Yeah, but so, I mean, no, I'm not trying to. If you don't want to talk, you 55 00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:20,890 don't have to talk. But I'm just saying that if you get a little antsy. 56 00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:22,830 Where's Phil? He's already inside. 57 00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:28,670 Phil. Hi, Ren. Oh, hi. 58 00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:32,390 I just met Phil. Phil. Yeah. All right, Phil. Nice talking to you. 59 00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:36,130 Guy's a wreck. 60 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,040 Sorry, I had an emergency. 61 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,760 Can we discuss that? 62 00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:44,960 I'm sorry, did he violate you in some way? 63 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,540 Violate's a strong word. Well, he could emotionally violate you. Whoa. 64 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,860 Fucking gold bloom? 65 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,260 It's like bronze bloom. 66 00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:01,560 I could get you back into gold. 67 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,220 Tell me, how did you come to see me? 68 00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:09,040 My friend, Ria. 69 00:04:09,390 --> 00:04:10,390 Perlman. 70 00:04:10,570 --> 00:04:15,050 I'd rather not say it, if that's cool. That's fine. She said that I should 71 00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:17,570 and then you were... I'm sorry if I'm flushed. 72 00:04:17,829 --> 00:04:21,010 It's not what you think. I was just rushing all morning. Right. 73 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:23,750 Fuck, this is fucking gonna be good. 74 00:04:24,270 --> 00:04:25,270 Good burger. 75 00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:27,550 Good burger. 76 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:30,610 Walking the red carpet. Oh, here comes good burger again. Did you see what good 77 00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:31,610 burger did last night? 78 00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:33,370 Burger good. 79 00:04:33,470 --> 00:04:34,890 Why don't we get to why I'm here? 80 00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:36,170 Oh, let's get to why you're here. 81 00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:39,920 Um... Is there an issue with your marriage? Are you having problems with 82 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:46,280 career? In terms of my career, I play a character that can be considered white. 83 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:53,400 Oh. And I have a feeling that I am kind of crossing over into 84 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,860 kind of a white world. 85 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:56,760 Do you want to be white? 86 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,040 Nicole Richie. 87 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,040 You get her dad, too. The whole fucking... 88 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:15,340 say white are you talking about the mask the exterior I mean are you considering 89 00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:21,660 dipping yourself in bleach I mean what I I actually I it's not that I I don't 90 00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:26,760 want to be I don't want to be white I I want to explore more of my blackness 91 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:32,300 well my blackness yeah yeah I think it's all gray um I am not 92 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:38,840 I'm not what you would expect a black man to be physically 93 00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:41,350 So you have a small peanut. 94 00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:42,850 Yeah, go ahead. 95 00:05:43,030 --> 00:05:48,270 Well, you know, I never thought I would feel this way, but I really miss it. No, 96 00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:52,790 I understand that you miss it. I miss being on the farm and, you know, plowing 97 00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:55,970 the fields, you know, milking the cows. Oh, yeah. 98 00:05:56,290 --> 00:06:01,870 Helping my family, you know, chopping the chicken and choking it so my mother 99 00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:05,210 could cook it for dinner. Oh, sure, you got to have both hands for choking. You 100 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:06,850 can't do a one -armed choke job. 101 00:06:07,790 --> 00:06:13,740 No. So you don't fit the socialized epitome of a black man. Right. 102 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:15,740 And therefore you want to be white. 103 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:21,300 Therefore I think I am white. Okay. I think I am a white man trapped in a 104 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,600 man's body, basically. 105 00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:29,220 Let's spin the Benetton wheel and let's try to find an ethnicity that you can 106 00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:30,320 really attach yourself to. 107 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,680 That was a great time in your life, right? Yeah. That was a beautiful time 108 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,220 your life and you did a lot of stuff. I loved it. Yeah. Well, you know what? 109 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,440 It's a memory. It's a great memory. 110 00:06:40,780 --> 00:06:46,620 You know, I really want to be back. Yeah, I'm sure you do. It can't come 111 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,220 though. You can never get your arm back. 112 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,060 But you ought to think about that artificial arm. 113 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,100 I'm not talking about my arm. I don't talk about your hair. 114 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,820 I thought you were talking about missing your arm. 115 00:06:57,100 --> 00:07:01,960 No, I'm talking about missing my country, my país, my family. Oh, yeah. 116 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:02,960 not going to listen to me. 117 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,440 I'm listening to you. I got work to do. I got work to do. Well, yeah, we all 118 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,480 have work to do. I can handle this. 119 00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:10,210 Maybe we could split the difference. I could go Mexican. 120 00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:14,790 Uh -huh. I don't know, S .A. You want to talk to Phil? You got to come up with 121 00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:15,790 something, S .A. 122 00:07:16,130 --> 00:07:17,290 Are you on medication? 123 00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,670 I take your medication, bitch. 124 00:07:20,450 --> 00:07:22,170 Why don't you take medication? 125 00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:26,050 All right. 126 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:38,840 One moment, please. 127 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,900 Lola, I think Phil Lewis should be institutionalized. Myra knows a place in 128 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:46,760 upstate New York. Can you get that for him? Oh, God, it's a crazy day. I can't 129 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,320 keep track. I wish we could do couple therapy. 130 00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:49,780 Twice the money. 131 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,120 Who do I have next? 132 00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:52,340 You have Joel Madden next. 133 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,460 And after Joel? Then you have career day at school. 134 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,660 Oh, good. Okay, give me 15 minutes. I've got to go back to the hotel and change 135 00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,240 before career day. I'll work that in. 136 00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:00,520 Oh, Dr. Good. 137 00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:02,260 Elizabeth. 138 00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:07,120 Thank you. Is it okay if I get Joel to sign this? 139 00:08:08,159 --> 00:08:11,180 God damn it, Lola. This is what I tried to talk to you about in the staff 140 00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:14,720 meeting. You can't have people come in here to this safe cocoon and have them 141 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:18,700 sign guitars in your ass and your scarves. Please, this is a safe haven. 142 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:19,879 I'm sorry. Jesus. 143 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:20,880 Thank you. 144 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,560 Doctor. 145 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,340 Well, thanks. Thanks for the support. I'm glad you like the record. 146 00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:44,820 I really appreciate that. 147 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:47,560 Hi. The plumber arrives. 148 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,880 I've called these guys about five times. I know it's not your fault, but you're 149 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,480 the plumber? The leakers. I mean, people. 150 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:56,740 Myron? Somebody's going to drown in here. Myron, this is Joel Madden. Sorry, 151 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,220 Joel. Oh, don't worry, Joel. How are you doing? Nice to meet you. Mary, come in. 152 00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:03,820 Thank you. What have we got? Nice little lady. 153 00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:05,600 She's one of his pro bono patients. 154 00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:06,659 Oh, cool. 155 00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:09,380 He does pro bono work? She makes him some food, doesn't she? 156 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,240 He gets therapy, yeah. 157 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:15,600 Mary, this is a little too spicy. It doesn't agree with me. I mean, I love 158 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:19,760 but it's just too hot. You know, I can't eat the hot. Who is that guy with the 159 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,760 tattoos? 160 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:24,380 That's my wood. That guy, the floor, this is... 161 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,120 Not that same as that. I need more. 162 00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:29,700 So I've been working with it. You know the way you bring me food? This guy 163 00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:30,700 brings me wood. 164 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,440 So were you followed? 165 00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,220 Followed by who? 166 00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:41,780 Oh, no, no, I was not. I wasn't followed here. Really? Yeah, no one following 167 00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:43,260 me. Good, good. They all come. 168 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,860 It's still the same story, though. I mean, I go in there and I'm talking to a 169 00:09:46,860 --> 00:09:49,300 guy. I don't know who they are. Who is that guy with the tattoos? Is he a 170 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,300 convict? I don't know. 171 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,800 That's what I... People with tattoos to me are convicts. 172 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:59,960 So, Joel, last time when we had a session, I thought it was very fruitful 173 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:06,820 because I'm beginning to really see how you feel the rock and roll industry 174 00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:12,080 is not for you. And you talked a lot about wanting to be an orthodontist. Is 175 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,380 that still something that you're serious about? 176 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:20,360 I mean, I'm always serious about my teeth, but I've probably spent the last 177 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,880 of my life studying teeth. 178 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,940 Have you? Being an orthodontist or even a dentist or even a dental hygienist. 179 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,860 Right. So you like to clean other people's teeth. The cleaning would be a 180 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:33,640 I like to study the teeth. I mean, your teeth are kind of like your trademark. 181 00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:39,160 Yeah, you said last session that you find the mouth is really the gateway to 182 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,160 soul. The door. 183 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:45,120 If your eyes are the window, your mouth is like the entrance to your soul. 184 00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:49,640 Now tell me about some of the music that you do now in your rock and roll 185 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,420 facade. A lot of complaining. 186 00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:55,730 A lot of, uh, Nolan understands me. Uh -huh. 187 00:10:56,150 --> 00:11:00,370 That's not really you, is it, Joel? No, I think that I'm the everyday guy. 188 00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:01,650 So how are you doing? 189 00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:04,690 Yes, 190 00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:06,850 yes. 191 00:11:08,030 --> 00:11:09,270 Keep going, go on. 192 00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:22,610 No, I know. 193 00:11:22,650 --> 00:11:23,650 Continue. 194 00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:28,790 Let's talk about dialogue. Maybe in your old rock and roll life. 195 00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:30,210 Show me what that looks like. 196 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,150 Show me the rock and roll conversation. 197 00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:35,130 Okay. Joel, I'm really scared. 198 00:11:35,330 --> 00:11:36,350 You've been drinking again. 199 00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:38,650 I won't hit you, but I'll shake the shit out of you. 200 00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:39,930 Oh, yeah. 201 00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:43,070 Okay. Don't tell me how much I can drink. I'm rock and roll. 202 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:47,710 This is my job. It's my job to be crazy. Shut up, bitch. What about the life 203 00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:51,190 we've built together? What happens on the road stays on the road. Shut up. 204 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,200 Now get off my tour bus. All right, I'm going to stop you now because I don't 205 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,420 want you to break my Barbie. All right. 206 00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,120 Hello, Mr. Julia. 207 00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:00,660 Julia? 208 00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:01,980 Julia? 209 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,040 Ron Julio. Ron Julio. 210 00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:07,560 Doing a great job there. 211 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:13,960 Something I meant to ask you. Have you noticed if... Do you think that Dr. 212 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,700 Finkelstein might be sleeping in his office? 213 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,220 No, no, he's not sleeping. 214 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,680 No? He's not sleeping. No, no, no, no. He's working, he's working. That's 215 00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:26,860 I'm working, I'm working. You're working, yeah. I'm working. 216 00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:28,980 Oh, 217 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:35,900 that's the phone. Because I have this kind of daydream about wearing 218 00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:37,160 collared shirts and ties. 219 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:41,080 Tell me about that daydream. What does that look like? I get up, bam, my alarm 220 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:45,540 music comes on, but I have it set on the song that I like to wake up to, which 221 00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:46,540 is Billy Joel. 222 00:12:46,910 --> 00:12:48,390 Moving out. Very bland. Good. 223 00:12:48,590 --> 00:12:52,310 I turn on the shower. You see the steam. The coffee maker's going. I'm in my 224 00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:55,910 loft. Joel, I just can't tell you how much you come alive when you talk about 225 00:12:55,910 --> 00:12:59,270 this. And go down and make my coffee and read the paper. 226 00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:00,449 What paper? 227 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:01,269 USA Today. 228 00:13:01,270 --> 00:13:05,970 Oh, a national paper. It's not very liberal, not very conservative. It's 229 00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:08,390 in the middle. You know, how's real estate doing? 230 00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:12,930 I like it for you. Now, after you've had your coffee and you're driving to your 231 00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,490 office. Oh, I'm late to work. Oh, no. 232 00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,850 Shake. You try? 233 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:27,350 Lorraine, how are you? 234 00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:28,950 Myron, you motherfucker. 235 00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:31,710 As I live and breathe. You're alive. 236 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:33,550 Thank God. 237 00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:37,470 I had actually something very important to tell you. No kidding. Believe it or 238 00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:41,310 not. You know, when I call for the first time in a decade, you might want to 239 00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:43,950 think about picking up the phone. Because you know what? It might be about 240 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:44,950 something important. 241 00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:49,690 Give me just a couple lines of what the soundtrack of this new life sounds like. 242 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:50,710 What does it sound like? 243 00:13:56,150 --> 00:13:59,110 Just another day, everything's the same. 244 00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:04,030 If something goes wrong, I'm the only one to blame. 245 00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:05,590 Oh, see? 246 00:14:06,830 --> 00:14:11,610 Being responsible, being straight -laced. 247 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,380 The only way for me. 248 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,640 You should know that our daughter is back in town. 249 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:21,940 And for some reason, she wants to see her father. 250 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,620 Can I ask you to do me a favor before we go to the next session? 251 00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:28,940 I want you to not go on tour next week. 252 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,940 I think you should lay off the rock and roll. Okay. 253 00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:36,500 Okay? I want you to rent a Toyota Corolla. Corolla, okay. I want you to 254 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,500 office space. 255 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:42,300 And I want you to just every day on the dot, I want you to go through the 256 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,320 rhythms of this lifestyle. 257 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:47,260 And when you get home, I want you to watch a little Dancing with the Stars. 258 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,900 Yeah. Maybe heat up a frozen dinner. 259 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:54,560 Yeah. And then, you know, go to bed. Yeah. And I want you to do that for a 260 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,600 and I want you to come back next week and I want to go through how that felt 261 00:14:58,600 --> 00:14:59,419 your body. 262 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:02,540 Okay. Are you willing to do that? Yeah. I think we may have a new direction for 263 00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,540 Joel Madden. 264 00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:07,520 Time for something different. I'm just not very good at rock and roll. Joel, 265 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:12,540 it's very rare in my profession that I get to know that I am going to take a 266 00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:15,080 little duckling and turn him into a swan. 267 00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:19,360 Thanks. I'm going to need you to actually be a father. 268 00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:21,460 Can you do that? 269 00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:25,000 Listen, I have a patient I have to go. It's great to see you. Listen, Myron, 270 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,960 better fucking be there for her. 271 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:30,140 She's going to call. Oh, how I've missed you. Jesus. 272 00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:34,660 You make sure when Goldie calls that he gets the message. I swear to God, if he 273 00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,320 wasn't so fucking good and better. 274 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,620 Pardon? 275 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000 Jesus. 276 00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:42,600 I need a drink. 277 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,180 Okay, Lola. Let the school know I'm on my way. Okay, great. Wish me luck. You 278 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:56,320 know I hate kids. Good luck. 279 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,700 Oh, no, you're going to be great. 280 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,120 Bye. 281 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,400 Oh, you cleared my schedule? 282 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,280 Yes. 283 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,840 We're so excited you're here. Oh, listen. 284 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,800 My pleasure. My pleasure. 285 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,200 I mean, just the fact that... 286 00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:23,020 You know, well, you're in People magazine. 287 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,660 And, you know, I mean, that and the Bible are just... I know. 288 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,920 I brought a copy for all the kids. 289 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,160 Nicole. 290 00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,120 Yeah. Hello, I'm Lola Buckingham. 291 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:47,540 Hi, nice to meet you. Lovely to meet you. I've got an appointment with Dr. 292 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:48,600 today. Yes. 293 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:54,210 Strictly speaking, it is with Dr. Good's practice, but the first session is 294 00:16:54,210 --> 00:16:59,670 actually a pre -session, much like the pre -interviews with the producers when 295 00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:01,490 you go on Leno or Letterman, something like that. 296 00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:02,710 What? 297 00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:04,609 So let me ask you this. 298 00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:07,910 I know career day is a big day here at the school. 299 00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:09,250 It is. It's very, very important. 300 00:17:09,910 --> 00:17:11,450 Has Hillary Clinton done this before? 301 00:17:12,329 --> 00:17:15,930 No. No, really? No, no. Maya Angelou, has she ever? 302 00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:18,030 No. No, no, no. 303 00:17:19,099 --> 00:17:20,099 The pool? 304 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,040 No, wait. So today I'm not meeting with Dr. Good at all. With me. 305 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,660 So I'm not even talking to her on the phone. I'm just going in that office. 306 00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:30,360 me. So I'm just going to divulge all my inner secret. With me. 307 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,780 Today's the day we've all been waiting for. 308 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:42,220 Dr. Elizabeth Good, my renowned psychotherapist. All right. I know you 309 00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,700 excited. I am. She's going to guide us to what we want to do. 310 00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:49,110 All right, kids, a warm welcome for Dr. Elizabeth. 311 00:17:49,450 --> 00:17:54,210 Thank you. 312 00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,610 Thank you. Thank you. 313 00:17:56,890 --> 00:18:03,650 I'm here on career day to show you that not every profession is 314 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:09,070 enhancing women's breath or directing a movie. This is a safe haven. 315 00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:13,090 I want you to feel safe whenever you come here. 316 00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:15,190 Do you feel safe? 317 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,320 Is that phone going to keep ringing? 318 00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:23,000 Because... No, she don't get it. 319 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,100 There are tissues over there. I'm not crying. 320 00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:31,000 Safety. Safety. And whether you feel it. 321 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:36,540 If it makes you feel better, I'm safe. There, I feel very safe. Now, what do I 322 00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:41,240 need to do to pick off on your list? Pick off, yes. The things for this 323 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,480 interview. Like, what are the questions? 324 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,620 I'm a tourist. 325 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:47,840 You know, I'm... You're a tourist. 37, I play 35. 326 00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:49,059 What else? Oh. 327 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,300 You know, the phone's off the hook. It's driving me crazy. It's the machine will 328 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,540 get it. The machine hasn't gotten it. The machine... Well, the phone keeps 329 00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:57,160 ringing. Oh, I'm sorry. Just press the Do Not Disturb sign. 330 00:18:57,380 --> 00:18:59,460 Hi. I'm next door if you want to talk. Nice meeting you. 331 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,520 Put the Do Not Disturb up. 332 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:06,340 Why is he coming in? It seems entirely unprofessional. I know. It wasn't great, 333 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,279 was it? 334 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,340 What's the next question? Are you bicostal? 335 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:12,680 What's your name? 336 00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:13,770 Sophia. Sophia. 337 00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:16,590 And Sophia, what do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a model. 338 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,250 Can you stand up for a second? 339 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:22,930 Oh, yeah. And sit down. You're too short, so it's not going to happen for 340 00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:26,630 You need to think about a different career. How about you? What's your name? 341 00:19:26,910 --> 00:19:29,710 Harris. Harris. And what do you want to do when you grow up? I want to be an 342 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:30,710 actress. 343 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,110 I can already tell you right now, it's not going to happen for you just because 344 00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:37,610 you're bland and every day and there's a thousand people like you. I think what 345 00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:40,370 Dr. Good is trying to say is that you're more than an actress. 346 00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,990 Hi. Hi. What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be in sitcom 347 00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:46,330 development. Oh, honey, the sitcom's dead. 348 00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:48,370 Oh. And how much longer is this going to take? 349 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:49,970 Oh, not much longer. 350 00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:53,790 Not much. Can we get through it? Because I'm all right. 351 00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:56,370 Losing my patience a little bit. Oh, no, I don't want to do it. 352 00:19:57,150 --> 00:20:01,890 I was wondering, when you were on Mad TV, how many people, you know, co -stars 353 00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:03,070 did you end up sleeping with? 354 00:20:04,610 --> 00:20:09,750 What? That is, you know, because, well, that happens, doesn't it? No, no, this 355 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:10,930 dog is going to make big time. 356 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:15,150 Big time, I'm telling you. People in the neighborhood are complaining. 357 00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:18,070 Why, ew, to him, first of all. 358 00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:23,010 Hi. Do you want to buy some chocolate? 359 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,500 Well, do you? 360 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,340 All right, let's go through some psychotherapeutic terms. 361 00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:33,580 Who's ever heard of penis envy? Okay! 362 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,400 You know. Yes. You have it. 363 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:41,180 Okay, all right, good. Does anybody know what a phallic symbol is? A phallic 364 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:46,340 symbol. No, no, they're good. No, I know. Yes, your teacher's nose would be 365 00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:49,520 considered a phallic symbol. Okay, thank you so much. This is Alfred Molina, 366 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,440 named after my favorite British actor. 367 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:56,340 I got one because I honestly, I saw that really from the bottom of my heart 368 00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:59,360 could give a shit why you got that dog. 369 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,660 No, we were finished anyway. 370 00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:05,800 I'll see you next week then for the doctor. 371 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:11,340 Hey, who would like to see me actually do my job in real time? 372 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:19,200 Now, first of all, I'm going to take the popcorn away from her because she seems 373 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,860 very sad and empty, and she's using food to fill the hole. 374 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,260 Food is not my people. That's the first question. It's slow right now. 375 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:30,040 Nothing's moving. So I'm trying, you know. It ain't happening. But we're 376 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,320 advertising. I did some television. 377 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,580 I got some handbills. Going on a minority committee. She's got a lot of 378 00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:35,580 business. 379 00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:37,260 She's got a lot of celebrities. 380 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,620 You guys would probably know who they are. I don't know who they are. 381 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,000 Maybe I could help you guys. 382 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,200 So are you in a relationship right now? 383 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,540 Um, no, I am not. 384 00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:47,040 Okay, big surprise there. 385 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,160 Um, so we would then go, uh, well, tell me about your previous relationship. 386 00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:52,340 What was that like? 387 00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:54,460 Not anymore. I'm not in a relationship. 388 00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:59,600 Okay, we're seeing a crack and we're to go in. So do you want to buy some 389 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,260 fucking chocolate or not? How much is this? How much are the candy bars? 390 00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:03,479 Five bucks. 391 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,340 How about a check? I'll give you a check. You want a check? 392 00:22:05,540 --> 00:22:06,980 You don't have five fucking dollars. 393 00:22:08,580 --> 00:22:09,580 Well, I'm not on me. 394 00:22:10,380 --> 00:22:11,560 Get the fuck out of here. 395 00:22:13,070 --> 00:22:14,490 Smell like dog shit in here. 396 00:22:14,690 --> 00:22:15,690 Nice talking to you. 397 00:22:19,670 --> 00:22:20,670 Okay, 398 00:22:22,430 --> 00:22:26,270 good. That was a productive session. 399 00:22:26,670 --> 00:22:28,090 Um, okay, still hands. 400 00:22:28,290 --> 00:22:29,450 Who likes to masturbate? 401 00:22:30,410 --> 00:22:31,410 Good. 402 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:39,690 So, I left the band. 403 00:22:43,389 --> 00:22:45,310 Yeah. They were really mad at first. 404 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:50,170 But you know what? I think that they're starting to understand that this is me. 405 00:22:50,350 --> 00:22:52,150 Yeah. Let them go platinum. 406 00:22:52,390 --> 00:22:57,030 You know, the downside is the people in my life that don't accept me, I had to 407 00:22:57,030 --> 00:23:00,430 get rid of them. Of course you do. You have to cut those naysayers out. 408 00:23:00,570 --> 00:23:05,450 Unfortunately, my relationship is over. She wouldn't understand. She said that I 409 00:23:05,450 --> 00:23:08,410 was not the same person. Not the same. I changed. 410 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,120 The first thing on our agenda I think we need to discuss is Lorraine. 411 00:23:14,020 --> 00:23:19,640 Oh. It's a matter of curiosity. Which wife was she? Was she one or was she 412 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:20,379 or second? 413 00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:21,380 Well, I'm not sure. 414 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,399 I'm not sure. 415 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,860 It gets bunched up in there. 416 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:26,980 So are you dating anybody now? 417 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,960 It's a little harder now, I think, to meet women. 418 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:33,500 I don't know why. 419 00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:38,500 But, you know, I don't think the women liked me for who I was. This is me. 420 00:23:38,780 --> 00:23:42,340 Yeah. If you don't like this. You have to grow with you. Yep. You know why? 421 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,940 Because now, Joel, you're simple and elegant. 422 00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:46,319 Yeah, classy. 423 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:47,320 And you know what? 424 00:23:47,540 --> 00:23:51,080 You no longer have to actually have sex with those girls in the magazine. Now 425 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,940 you can masturbate to them. Exactly. You know what else seems to have got 426 00:23:53,940 --> 00:23:56,160 bunched up, Myron? The fact that you have a daughter. 427 00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:00,600 Yeah. And therefore, technically, I become a stepmother with no warning. 428 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,800 I didn't know when Goldie's birthday was. I could have sent her a card. I 429 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:05,800 have sent her a cake. 430 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:06,960 I have. 431 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,740 A business card. You can keep it. 432 00:24:09,020 --> 00:24:10,020 Oh, Joe. 433 00:24:10,660 --> 00:24:13,240 Yep. This is a sign of real growth. 434 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:17,140 Yeah. Thank you. We had a daughter out there who I could have been making 435 00:24:17,140 --> 00:24:20,480 mittens for Hanukkah for, and yet you choose not to bring her up. I find that 436 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:21,580 extraordinary. I really do. 437 00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:22,900 Four. 438 00:24:24,260 --> 00:24:25,400 Lorraine was number four. 439 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,820 Which would make me five. 440 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,040 Sure. 441 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,080 Okay, 442 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:35,340 well, I think that concludes the... 443 00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:39,700 Finkelstein -Buckingham marriage meeting. Thank you for your time. 444 00:24:47,180 --> 00:24:48,180 I'm a Republican. 445 00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:51,180 Pro -life. Good for you. Yeah. Thanks. 446 00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:56,500 Yeah. I'm so, so proud of you. Thanks. Don't underestimate mediocrity. 447 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,240 I'm not. 448 00:24:58,740 --> 00:24:59,740 That's me. 35396

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