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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,661 --> 00:00:13,529 Captioning made possible By mgm home entertainment 2 00:00:24,508 --> 00:00:28,677 Oliver: ♪ green acres Is the place to be ♪ 3 00:00:28,745 --> 00:00:32,514 ♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪ 4 00:00:32,583 --> 00:00:36,618 ♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪ 5 00:00:36,687 --> 00:00:40,355 ♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪ 6 00:00:40,424 --> 00:00:42,057 Lisa: ♪ new york ♪ 7 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,459 ♪ is where I'd rather stay ♪ 8 00:00:44,528 --> 00:00:46,461 ♪ I get allergic ♪ 9 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,630 ♪ smelling hay ♪ 10 00:00:48,699 --> 00:00:52,133 ♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪ 11 00:00:52,203 --> 00:00:53,680 ♪ darling, I love you ♪ 12 00:00:53,704 --> 00:00:55,384 ♪ but give me park avenue ♪ 13 00:00:57,675 --> 00:00:59,841 ♪ the chores ♪ 14 00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,876 ♪ the stores ♪ 15 00:01:01,945 --> 00:01:03,712 ♪ fresh air ♪ 16 00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:04,891 ♪ times square ♪ 17 00:01:04,915 --> 00:01:06,481 ♪ you are my wife ♪ 18 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,361 ♪ good-bye, city life ♪ 19 00:01:08,385 --> 00:01:11,920 Both: ♪ green acres, We are there ♪ 20 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,358 Howdy mrs. Douglas. 21 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,427 Doggone, you look as pretty 22 00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,562 As a $350 judgment 23 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,175 Against your husband. 24 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,299 Thank you. Mr. Haney... 25 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:42,712 You got the money with you 26 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:43,879 In that suitcase? 27 00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:45,203 No, I haven't. 28 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,316 Why not? 29 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,284 Because you're not Gonna win the case. 30 00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,308 Excuse me. 31 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,275 Where are you going? 32 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,276 With you. 33 00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:52,788 Oh, no. You sit over there. 34 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:54,145 Well, I want to sit with you. 35 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,625 That's the attorney's table. 36 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,749 I am the attorney's wife. 37 00:01:57,817 --> 00:01:59,895 You're a witness. You sit over there. 38 00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:01,620 Well, I can see better up here. 39 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:02,887 No. 40 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,956 Well, mr. Haney's Sitting up here. 41 00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,969 Mr. Haney's Involved in the case. 42 00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,003 He's suing me. 43 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:10,194 I hope he wins. 44 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:12,797 Lisa. 45 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,667 Have you met my High-priced lawyer? 46 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:16,801 Oh, no, I haven't. 47 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,103 This here is diller fangworth. 48 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,205 How do you do? Howdy. 49 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,586 Mr. Douglas, who's Representing you? 50 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,277 I'm representing myself. 51 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:26,645 He's an a-ttorney. 52 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,013 He is? How come I never saw you 53 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,093 In the saloon across the street? 54 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:32,450 The saloon? 55 00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:35,019 All the real lawyers Hang out there. 56 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,289 Well, I'm a real lawyer. 57 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,001 Where'd you go to law school? 58 00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:39,957 Harvard. 59 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,371 You ever graduate? 60 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,161 Of course I graduated. 61 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,674 Then why don't you Hang out at the saloon 62 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,898 Across the street? 63 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,178 Mr. Haney: mr. Douglas... 64 00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:50,802 This is your last chance 65 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,036 To settle out of court. 66 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,305 No, thank you. 67 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,979 What's he doing? 68 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,881 Warmin' up. 69 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:07,952 Ain't that a great imitation 70 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,921 Of spencer tracy? 71 00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,489 Spencer... 72 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:13,825 The judge's fav-o-rite actor. 73 00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:22,900 Darling, why are you Taking your coat off? 74 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,614 Don't you see what he's doing? 75 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,171 He's trying to make Me look like a city dude. 76 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,341 Well, you are. 77 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:30,542 Hear ye, hear ye. 78 00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,477 The pixley superior Municipal court 79 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,845 Is now in session. 80 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:35,980 Judge clemens presiding. 81 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,782 All rise for the judge. 82 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,670 What's the first case, henry? 83 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,193 haney vs. Douglas. 84 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,128 Ahem. Plaintiff ready? 85 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:52,842 Ready, your honor. 86 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:53,943 Judge: the defendant ready? 87 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,066 Ready, your honor. 88 00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,067 Who are you? 89 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:57,335 Uh, I'm the defendant... 90 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:58,470 Oliver wendell douglas. 91 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,182 Are you represented by council? 92 00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:01,305 Uh, no, sir. 93 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,341 If you can't afford an attorney, 94 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,777 The court will be Glad to appoint one. 95 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,779 Uh, no, your honor. I Don't need an attorney. 96 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,046 I am an attorney. 97 00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,248 You are? 98 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:11,416 Yes, sir. 99 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,229 How come I never saw you 100 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,453 Across the street in the saloon? 101 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,668 You're acting in Your own behalf? 102 00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:19,758 I am, sir. 103 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:22,727 Then put on your coat! This is a court of law. 104 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,431 Mr. Fangworth Doesn't have his on. 105 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,132 Diller, put your coat on. 106 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,211 But, your honor... 107 00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:30,735 I've seen your imitation 108 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,537 Of spencer tracy. 109 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,941 Now, let me see if I Understand this correctly. 110 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,843 Uh, mr. Haney, 111 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:43,114 You're suing Mr. Douglas for $350 112 00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:45,617 For services which You claim you rendered 113 00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:47,129 And he claims you did not. 114 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:48,853 I rendered 'em. 115 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,087 No, he didn't. 116 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,289 Order! 117 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:53,436 Gentlemen, there's an Established procedure 118 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,859 For trying a case. 119 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,495 Haven't you ever Seen perry mason? 120 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,096 Mr. Fangworth, 121 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,143 Would you present Your opening statement? 122 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,600 Yes, your honor. 123 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:12,109 As you know, for A period of 92 days, 124 00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:15,613 There was no rain in The hooterville valley. 125 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,549 My client mr. Haney, 126 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,484 Being aware of The great hardship 127 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:22,353 This drought was working On the hooterville farmers, 128 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,055 Offered to make it rain 129 00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:29,160 Out of the goodness Of his heart for $350. 130 00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:33,297 Mr. Douglas contracted With mr. Haney 131 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:34,666 For said rain, 132 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:37,168 Which was delivered in The recent cloudbursts, 133 00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:38,870 Which saved the crops. 134 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,205 But when mr. Haney 135 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,741 Presented his bill For his services, 136 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,210 Mr. Douglas refused payment, 137 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,881 Saying that mr. Haney Did not induce the rain. 138 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:53,351 Now, we intend to Prove that he did. 139 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,920 I thank you. 140 00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:58,823 Mr. Douglas. 141 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,392 Your honor... 142 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,727 Your honor, 143 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,395 Uh, I will not deny 144 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,898 That I made a contract With mr. Haney. 145 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,501 However, I'll prove That it was not mr. Haney 146 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,003 Who made it rain, But my wife lisa. 147 00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:13,371 Uh, that's me, your honor. 148 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:14,572 You see, my husband... 149 00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,108 Madam, would you Mind being seated? 150 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:18,943 I talk better standing up. 151 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,858 Lisa, you'll get a chance 152 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,793 To tell your story when I call you as a witness. 153 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,349 Well, I thought If I told it now, 154 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,651 It would save some time, 155 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,319 So the judge could Go across the street 156 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,388 To the saloon with his friends. 157 00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:33,190 The court appreciates Your concern. 158 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,729 Call your first witness, diller. 159 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,131 Yes, sir, that's right. I'm Mr. Douglas' hired hand. 160 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:41,699 I've worked for him for... 161 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,312 Would you mind Removing your hat? 162 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,435 It goes with the outfit! 163 00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,037 Take it off! 164 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:47,539 Yes, sir. 165 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,418 Now, eb, I want you... 166 00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,708 Does my hair look all right? 167 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:52,544 It looks fine, fine. 168 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,445 I want you to tell the court 169 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,915 In your own words Exactly what happened 170 00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,616 A month ago today. 171 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,018 Let me see. 172 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,319 That was the 86th Day with no rain. 173 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,255 Everything was pretty dry, 174 00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,290 And the vultures Were circlin' overhead. 175 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,495 I wonder which one Of us they're after. 176 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,764 Oh, they're not... 177 00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,232 Probably you. You got More meat on your bones. 178 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,179 Eb, how do you know They're vultures? 179 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:20,304 Care to lie down and See what happens? 180 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,106 I think that's the same squadron 181 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,008 That was here for The 1960 drought. 182 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,777 Yeah, I recognize that one! 183 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,979 That's charlie. 184 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,114 Hey, he grew a new beak. 185 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,483 He broke his other One peckin' at my uncle. 186 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:35,920 Eb, it's too hot for These silly jokes. 187 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,421 Look at this corn. 188 00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:39,669 Isn't there anything We can do to save it? 189 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,325 How about gettin' Down on our knees 190 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,494 And facin' the Jolly green giant? 191 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,763 Eb, will you... 192 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,531 Well, sir, when I Picked myself up... 193 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,133 Mr. Douglas hit you? 194 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,935 No, sir. I made the mistake 195 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,369 Of turnin' my back on charlie, 196 00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,806 And he swooped down And knocked me flat. 197 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,819 You just tell us what happened 198 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:59,477 After mr. Douglas' Trained vulture 199 00:07:59,545 --> 00:08:00,945 Knocked you down. 200 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,546 I object, your honor. 201 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,916 The council for the Plaintiff has no right to imply 202 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,896 That I had any connection With any vulture. 203 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,898 We're gonna get To that, your honor. 204 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,155 What do you intend to do, Bring the vulture into court 205 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,323 And question him? 206 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:14,269 Was you listenin' At our office door? 207 00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:18,062 I don't eve know Where your office is. 208 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,964 Order. Objection sustained. 209 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,410 Go on with your questioning. 210 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,335 What happened after you came in 211 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,604 From the field? 212 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:26,838 Do I have to tell him? 213 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:27,907 Yes. 214 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,540 It ain't gonna make You look good. 215 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,187 Young man, answer the question. 216 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,511 Will you help me find Another job, judge? 217 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,381 Would you like 30 days On the county work farm? 218 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,450 No, sir. 219 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,151 When we came in from the field, 220 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,621 Mrs. Douglas was Talkin' to rudolph. 221 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,255 Good morning, rudolph. 222 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,326 Aww, you look tired. 223 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,461 Didn't you sleep Well last night? 224 00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,597 Well, neither did I. It was too hot. 225 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,865 Oliver: lisa? 226 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:57,836 Out here, darling! That's my husband. 227 00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,237 Who are you talking to? 228 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,538 To rudolph. 229 00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,774 Rudolph? Mm-hmm. Him. 230 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,778 He's a sunflow... 231 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,980 Uh, it's a sunflower. 232 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,281 I know it. 233 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,917 You talk to him... Uh, it? 234 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,519 Well, of course I do. 235 00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:16,755 Otherwise, he thinks I'm a snob. 236 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,457 Uh, lisa, come on. You get inside here. 237 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,126 I think the heat's got you. 238 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,326 Oh, no, darling. 239 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,707 I talked to rudolph Before the heat got me. 240 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:25,830 What are you doing? 241 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,143 Giving him his breakfast. 242 00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,599 Lisa, that's water! 243 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,613 Well, that's the Only thing he eats. 244 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,937 You're wasting water On a stupid sunflower? 245 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,884 Well, that's a nice thing to say 246 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,908 After he went to all the trouble 247 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:38,143 To grow out here. 248 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,610 I didn't ask rudolph to gr... 249 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,647 Or, him to grow... it to grow out here! 250 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,248 Lisa, if you want To water something, 251 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,785 I've got acres of corn Out there crying for water. 252 00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,564 Well, why don't you Go and water them? 253 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,721 There's no water. 254 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,823 We haven't had rain for 86 days. 255 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,059 If you let me water Rudolph every day, 256 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,327 We can have all The rain we want. 257 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,428 What? 258 00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,408 There is a story in The old country... 259 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,266 If a sunflower grows Outside your back door, 260 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,147 And you water him every day, 261 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,782 You can ask him one favor, 262 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,183 And he has to grant it. 263 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,418 Otherwise, he's out Of the sunflowers. 264 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,442 Lisa, you go on in the house. 265 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,712 Here, give me That. Put a hat on. 266 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,814 Something to keep the heat off. 267 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,584 Silly stories. Where does she... 268 00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,824 Rudolph, uh... 269 00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:32,864 There he was, talking To this sunflower, 270 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,643 Pleadin' with him To make it rain. 271 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,334 Pleading with a sunflower? 272 00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,014 Yes, sir. I told you 273 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,816 It wasn't gonna Make you look good. 274 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,706 Your honor, I Object. I fail to see 275 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,552 What this testimony Has to do with the case. 276 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:46,410 Your honor, I'm Just trying to show 277 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,214 That at the time my Client made it rain, 278 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:52,183 Mr. Douglas was in no Fit condition to judge 279 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,552 Whether my client Made it rain or not. 280 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,587 To put it in legal terms, 281 00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,992 He was non compos in his mentis. 282 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:04,629 The compos of my Mentis is not on trial. 283 00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:07,899 I mean, whether or Not I'm compos is, uh... 284 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,333 It's irrelevant! 285 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,936 I move that I be stricken From the record. 286 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:15,039 No, the remarks, that is... Of. 287 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,344 Mr. Douglas, if you'd like Me to declare a recess... 288 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,281 No, thank you, your honor. 289 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,616 Have you any more Questions for this witness? 290 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,820 No, your honor. He's all yours. 291 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:29,889 No questions. 292 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:30,989 I have one... 293 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,902 Am I still workin' for you? 294 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,293 Step down. 295 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,966 Bailiff... 296 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,235 Would you call The next witness... 297 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,171 Hank kimball? 298 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,506 Hank kimball, please Take the stand. 299 00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,775 Hank kimball. 300 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,824 Is hank kimball in the court? 301 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,881 Oh, that's me, your bailiff. 302 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,216 Uh, your honor. 303 00:11:58,285 --> 00:11:59,728 Will you please come forward? 304 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:00,785 Yes, sir. 305 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,955 Oh, want a half 306 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,890 Of a peanut butter And jelly sandwich? 307 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,837 Mr. Kimball, take the stand. 308 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:08,861 Oh, yes, sir. 309 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:13,898 Raise your right hand. 310 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,701 Oh, it's full of peanut Butter and jelly. 311 00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:18,169 Just raise it. 312 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,784 Do you swear to tell the Truth, the whole truth, 313 00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,441 And nothing but the truth? 314 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,910 Well... Would you Mind repeating that? 315 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,113 Mr. Kimball. 316 00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,060 Your honor, I don't want To swear to something 317 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,428 That I'm not sure What I'm swearing to. 318 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:37,021 All you're doing is Swearing to tell the truth. 319 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,190 I always tell the truth. 320 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,558 Well, not always. 321 00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,205 There was this one time 322 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,739 When I came home Late for dinner, 323 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,074 And my mother asked me if... 324 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,698 Just say "I do"! 325 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,367 I do. 326 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,970 Uh, mr. Kimball, 327 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:54,239 You are a county agent? 328 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,706 I do. 329 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,586 That ain't a proper answer. 330 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,710 Well, don't tell Me. Tell the judge. 331 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,846 He told me to Say "I do", and I did. 332 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,514 That is, I did "I do." 333 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,929 Mr. Kimball, as a county agent, 334 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,131 It is your job to Advise the farmers 335 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,532 In this here locality 336 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:13,157 On any farmin' problems. 337 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,093 It is? Oh, heh. 338 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,362 Yes, I guess you could say that. 339 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,397 Oh, you did say that. 340 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,799 Could you stick to The pertinent facts? 341 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,035 Yes, sir. 342 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,004 What are they? 343 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,683 Has mr. Douglas ever come to you 344 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,018 With a farming problem? 345 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,642 Objection. My problems Are not relevant in this case. 346 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,222 I beg to differ, your honor. 347 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,124 What I am leadin' up To is whether or not 348 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,228 You came to Mr. Kimball to get advice 349 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,750 On how to Artificially induce rain. 350 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,252 I admit that I did. 351 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,321 Did what? 352 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,623 Came to you. 353 00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:47,658 Oh, that. 354 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,894 Yes, mr. Douglas Came to me to find out 355 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,740 If he could Artificially induce rain, 356 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,432 And I told him he could... By seeding the clouds. 357 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,035 Was this method used? 358 00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,170 No, sir. Why not? 359 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:02,040 Well, we had Everything but the cloud. 360 00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,675 There was no cloud? No, sir. 361 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:08,313 And without clouds, There can be no rain. 362 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,381 Well... 363 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:13,952 And yet, my client mr. Haney 364 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,021 Made it rain without clouds. 365 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,289 Objection. 366 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,036 It has not been proven That he made it rain. 367 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,870 We're gonna prove That, your honor. 368 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,761 Well, I wish you'd Hurry up, diller. 369 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,996 I'm gettin' hungry. 370 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,809 Well, why don't we Go over to the saloon 371 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,032 And have a sandwich? 372 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,701 Court is recessed For one hour for lunch. 373 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,209 Mr. Haney... 374 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,511 Now, I want you to tell the... 375 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,448 You've got some mustard On your chin, diller. 376 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:48,086 I want you to tell the Court in your own words 377 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:52,390 The events leading Up to this $350 lawsuit. 378 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,225 And remember you're under oath. 379 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,895 Mr. Douglas, that's An unkind remark. 380 00:14:57,964 --> 00:14:59,897 In all of my dealings with you, 381 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:02,666 Have you ever known Me to be anything 382 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,702 But the soul of honesty? 383 00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:07,005 As a matter of fact, I have. 384 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,673 Well, that's not why we're here. 385 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,843 Now, concernin' this Big drought-bustin' rain, 386 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,846 Which mr. Douglas Contracted for, 387 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,448 But never paid for... 388 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,749 Objection. 389 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,084 Sustained. 390 00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,620 Would you let me run the court? 391 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:24,766 I apologize, your honor. 392 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:25,856 Very well. 393 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,436 Oh, you've got a little ketchup 394 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,500 On your cheek. 395 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,795 Well, sir, 396 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,399 It was the 78th day Of the drought, 397 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:38,202 And mr. Douglas was In a desperate mood. 398 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,471 In fact, he had A hari-kari knife 399 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,605 In his hand. 400 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,408 This not a hari-kari thing. 401 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,443 I was just cutting Some of the dead weeds. 402 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,379 I noticed your Corn as I drove in. 403 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,726 Tsk, tsk, tsk. What Happened to it? 404 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,150 What happened? 405 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,419 It hasn't rained for 78 days. 406 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,819 Where? 407 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,255 Here. 408 00:15:57,323 --> 00:16:00,224 You haven't had any rain here? 409 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,326 No, we haven't. 410 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:05,396 It pour over at My place last night. 411 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,331 Oh, come on. 412 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,944 That's why I come over... 413 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,746 To borrow your life preserver 414 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,036 For my wife. 415 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,545 She's afraid to go Down in the cellar. 416 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,974 The water's over her head. 417 00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,477 How come it just Rained at your place? 418 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,045 Don't you know? 419 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,247 Know what? 420 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,816 I got a rainmakin' machine. 421 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:29,337 Ohh! There isn't any such thing. 422 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,421 How. 423 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,536 Where's the, uh, Rainmaking machine? 424 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,694 You're lookin' at it. Chief thundercloud. 425 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,198 The last of the Great rainmakers. 426 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:41,977 Ohh. You're not gonna get... 427 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,472 Careful. Don't get him riled up, 428 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,541 Or he'll float this farm Right out of the state. 429 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,311 Maybe out of country, too. 430 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:57,948 Me make heap big Water anytime I want. 431 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:04,288 Not yet, chief. We Haven't made a deal. 432 00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:08,292 And you're not going to. 433 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,728 Mr. Douglas, Before you say no... 434 00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,763 I've already said no. 435 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,898 Uh, before you say it again, 436 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,335 Let me ask you... Are you familiar 437 00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:20,070 With the sayin', "Dancing up a storm"? 438 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,140 I am. 439 00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,307 Then let me show You a few samples 440 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,543 Of the chief's handiwork. 441 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,546 Here is a specimen 442 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,581 Collected from a cloudburst 443 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:34,519 Drummed up by the chief In milltown, montana. 444 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:39,390 For that, they make Me honorary paleface. 445 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,237 Say, that's quite an honor. 446 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:44,162 You speak a big mouthful. 447 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,765 And this is a 3-hour downpour 448 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,500 Drummed up by the chief 449 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,935 On the outskirts of modesto 450 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:55,573 While on his way to A drought in kansas. 451 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,376 Any kind of storm You want, you name it, 452 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,311 And the chief will produce it. 453 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:03,514 For $100, he will Make enough rain 454 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,249 To save all of your crops. 455 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:08,819 And, as a special Introductory offer, 456 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,888 He'll throw in a rainbow 457 00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:12,690 At the end of the storm. 458 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,394 Uh-huh. 459 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:17,861 Out. 460 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,230 Out! 461 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,732 Very well. But, mr. Douglas, 462 00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:23,401 In a couple of days, 463 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:26,337 You'll come beggin' To me on your knees. 464 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,073 How. 465 00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:33,143 Mr. Douglas wasn't Interested in your offer? 466 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:43,854 Mr. Douglas wasn't Interested in your offer? 467 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,255 Not right then. 468 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,036 But as the days passed, 469 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,625 Things got worse. 470 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:49,994 Creeks dried up, 471 00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:52,229 And the riverbeds didn't have 472 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,009 A trickle of water in 'em. 473 00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:57,267 The reservoir was empty, 474 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,870 And just as I predicted, 475 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,173 Mr. Douglas came begging to me 476 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,708 On his knees. 477 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,509 Off your knees, mr. Douglas. 478 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,011 You don't have to beg. 479 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,314 I'm not begging. I'm Fixing the tractor. 480 00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,049 Don't seem much point. 481 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,884 Couple of more dry days, 482 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,286 And there won't be Nothin' left to tractor. 483 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:19,090 It seems a shame, When you could have 484 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,425 All the water you need danced up 485 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,728 For a poultry $100. 486 00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:26,063 $150. 487 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,810 Oh, the price has gone up. 488 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,567 The drier it gets, the Harder he's gotta work. 489 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,170 Look, I tell you what I'll do... 490 00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,740 I'll make you a Sporting proposition. 491 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,608 Double or nothing. 492 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,977 If he makes it rain, $300. 493 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,411 Nothing if he doesn't. 494 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,013 350. 495 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,648 350?! 496 00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:48,018 You no take advantage Of introductory offer. 497 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,788 Rainbow no longer free. 498 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,057 All right. 350. 499 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,728 Oh! Hold it! Hold it. 500 00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,398 We don't want you to get wet. 501 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,934 There's no sense in Ruining a good outfit. 502 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,413 Thank you, thank you. 503 00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:09,206 Uh, that'll be 25 Cents rental fee. 504 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:10,685 Twenty-fi... 505 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,054 I'll take the chance. 506 00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:13,488 Come on, get on with it! 507 00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:14,512 Ok, chief. 508 00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:24,721 Any time now. 509 00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:30,360 Keep it up, chief. 510 00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,496 I think I felt a Couple of drops. 511 00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:45,209 What did he say? 512 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,777 Uh, he wants to know 513 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,713 If he can have a glass of water. 514 00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,448 A gla... 515 00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:53,383 Out! Out! Mr. Douglas... 516 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:55,986 Get out! And take Sitting bull with you. 517 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:01,258 He threw you and The chief out, eh? 518 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:02,426 Yes, sir. 519 00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:03,894 Your honor, I move For a dismissal. 520 00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,329 We've heard the Plaintiff testify 521 00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:08,165 That his so-called Rainmaker failed to make rain. 522 00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:10,134 Diller, I'm afraid Mr. Douglas is right. 523 00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:11,902 All you proved is... 524 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,849 I have one more Witness, your honor. 525 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,740 Call chief thundercloud To the stand. 526 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,844 After mr. Douglas threw You and mr. Haney out, 527 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,111 What happened? 528 00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,881 Mr. Haney, he throw me out. 529 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,850 Then what did you do? 530 00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:27,918 Me try to go back To reservation, 531 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,855 But because they make Me honorary paleface 532 00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:32,923 In milltown, montana, 533 00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:35,860 Indians don't let me in. 534 00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,294 Where did you go then? 535 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:39,663 Me can't getum job as rainmaker 536 00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,866 Because haney take my drum. 537 00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:43,800 So, me walk around, 538 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:45,602 Look for job. 539 00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:48,772 Me come to house, knock on door, 540 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,975 Pretty squaw come out. 541 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,043 Hello, there. How. 542 00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:55,246 How? Oh, I'm mrs. Douglas. 543 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,947 There's no how here. 544 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:59,328 "How" indian word For "Hello, there." 545 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:00,885 Oh. How. 546 00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:02,987 Hello, there. 547 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:04,688 What can I do for you? 548 00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:06,902 Me broke. Me needum job. 549 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,993 Aww. Well, look around, 550 00:22:09,061 --> 00:22:10,995 And anything that Needs doing, you do it. 551 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:12,930 Me do good job. 552 00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,069 Who was that? 553 00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:20,704 An indian man. 554 00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,172 Did he have a drum? 555 00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:24,186 No, just a hat Feather sticking in. 556 00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:26,310 Oh. What'd he want? 557 00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:28,390 He needed some Work, so I told him 558 00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:30,192 To find something to do. 559 00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,315 Like what? 560 00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:33,017 I don't know. 561 00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,322 He, cut that out! 562 00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,957 Hey, what do you Think you're doing? 563 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:41,706 Don't you know there's A water shortage on? 564 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,127 Me washum car. 565 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,629 But you don't washum car During a water shortage, 566 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,697 You shilly shioux... Sioux! 567 00:22:53,272 --> 00:22:56,206 Lisa! Lisa! 568 00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,042 Lisa! It's raining! 569 00:22:58,110 --> 00:22:59,944 It's raining! Lisa! 570 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:09,053 And as soon as you started Chanting and dancing, 571 00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:10,720 It started to rain. 572 00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:13,490 You just not Beatum your tom-tom. 573 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,724 Step down. 574 00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,493 That's the plantiff's case. 575 00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:19,563 Mr. Douglas? 576 00:23:19,631 --> 00:23:22,799 Your honor, the plaintiff Claims that it was because 577 00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:25,035 Of chief thundercloud's Rain dance that it rained. 578 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:27,071 I claim that it was the Act of washing the car 579 00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,339 That caused it to rain. 580 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,018 Everybody knows that the Minute you wash your car, 581 00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:31,241 It rains! 582 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:34,144 I think that $350 Is a little too much 583 00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:36,546 For me to pay to Have my car washed. 584 00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:39,016 Mr. Douglas, are you claiming 585 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:40,929 That washing your Car made it rain? 586 00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:42,386 Well, not really, your honor, 587 00:23:42,455 --> 00:23:44,455 But it makes as much Sense as a tired indian 588 00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:46,390 Beating a tom-tom. 589 00:23:46,459 --> 00:23:47,924 It certainly does. 590 00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:49,393 Case dismissed. 591 00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:52,729 Diller, save us a Table at the saloon. 592 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:59,970 Oh, good morning, rudolph. 593 00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:02,006 You don't say good Morning to me? 594 00:24:02,074 --> 00:24:03,618 Oh, yes. Good morning. 595 00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:05,687 Rudolph, we have Plenty of water now, 596 00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:07,722 So you can have all You want to drink. 597 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:09,480 Still watering rudolph, huh? 598 00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:11,293 Why not? He Certainly deserves it 599 00:24:11,317 --> 00:24:13,295 After he made all that rain. 600 00:24:13,319 --> 00:24:14,885 Oh? He made it rain? 601 00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,931 Yes, don't you remember When I told you? 602 00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:19,089 If you water a Sunflower every day 603 00:24:19,158 --> 00:24:21,503 And you ask him nice For water, he'll do it. 604 00:24:21,527 --> 00:24:23,260 So I watered him every day 605 00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:25,374 And asked him nice, And he didded it. 606 00:24:25,398 --> 00:24:27,564 Uh-huh. When did you do that? 607 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,677 When you were outside Yelling at the indian 608 00:24:29,701 --> 00:24:30,967 For washing your car. 609 00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:32,269 Lisa, please. 610 00:24:32,338 --> 00:24:33,848 You don't believe it? 611 00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:36,018 A little water, please, rudolph, 612 00:24:36,042 --> 00:24:38,308 For the unbeliever. 613 00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:42,679 All right. Come on. 614 00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:44,048 Where is it? 615 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:50,387 Eb, turn off that water! 616 00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:51,821 Talk to rudolph. 617 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:07,804 Captioning made possible By mgm home entertainment 618 00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:13,677 Captioned by the national Captioning institute... Www.Ncicap.Org 39004

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