Original subtitles

Captioning made possible By mgm home entertainment

Oliver: ♪ green acres Is the place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪

Lisa: ♪ new york ♪

♪ is where I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic ♪

♪ smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling, I love you ♪

♪ but give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ good-bye, city life ♪

Both: ♪ green acres, We are there ♪

Here you are, Mr. Douglas. 2 pails of h2o.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.

That's the chemical Formula for water.

That means it's composed Of one "H" and 2 "Os."

Whatever they are.

Hydrogen and oxygen.

Hydrogen and oxygen? Well, wasn't it nice of them

To get together in these Pails and make all this water?

Yeah. Put 'em down.

Did you get the leaks Fixed in the hose?

Oh, yeah. Used up a Whole roll of tape.

It won't leak now.

We'll soon see.

That did it!

Got another roll of tape?

What for? The radiator!

Ohh! You miserable tractor!

We'd better abandon ship!

Do you think mr. Drucker Can get us a new radiator?

I don't think he can help you.

Why not?

This tractor was born Long before he was.

Oh, hello, bertram.

Oliver!

What?

I'm going to cook Your breakfast.

Oh, congratulations.

But I can't. There Is no electricical.

The plug fell out of The power company.

Could you plug It back in, please?

I gotta call mr. Drucker.

Well, can't you plug in first?

Oh, for cryin' out loud. It's always something.

Oliver, don't shnap at me!

I'm not shnapping Or snapping at you.

Well, it sounds Like shnapping to me.

Why couldn't they run The lines inside the house?

You gotta climb a Pole to telephone,

You gotta climb a pole To plug in the electricity.

Oliver, if we want gas,

Would they have to Put in another pole?

No, they don't put gas in poles.

Although they Probably would for us.

Ok, it's in!

It tight?

Yep! Thank you, darling!

I'm going to cook you Electricical hot cakes.

For that I had To climb the pole?

Good morning, drucker's store.

Oh, how are you, mr. Douglas?

Oh, hi. Well, not too good.

I noticed you looked A little peaked lately.

Farm gettin' you down?

No, no, it's not that. It's that darn tractor.

I need a new Radiator. It's leaking.

It was only a matter of time.

What do you mean?

About the only thing left That could happen to it.

Well, do you think you could...

Hello? Hello? Anybody using the line?

Oh, yes, I am, mrs. Ziffel.

Oh, mr. Douglas, are You going to be long?

I have to make a call.

Doris, mr. Douglas Has a leaky radiator...

Oh, that's too bad. I Thought you been lookin'

A little peaked Lately, mr. Douglas.

No, no, you don't understand.

Don't let that Farm get you down.

You still there, mr. Douglas?

Yes, mr. Drucker. As I Was saying, I wonder

If you can get me a new Radiator for my tractor.

Lisa: oliver! What?

I didn't say anything.

Oh, no, not you. I was... It's my wife. Excuse me.

What do you want?

Darling, the Electricical is off again.

The plug fell out.

Mr. Drucker, would You see what you can do

And call me back? Thank you. Bye.

I told you to put it in tight.

I thought I did.

Well, you didn't.

Oh, it's these poles. They're driving me crazy.

The farm is too much for you?

No.

Oh, for the...

Oliver, the other Pole is ringing.

Yeah. Would you answer it?

All right.

Keep on ringing, sarah. He's got a long climb.

Hello?

Hello, mrs. Douglas. May I speak to mr. Douglas?

No. He's up the Electricical pole.

The electricical?

Yes, the plug-in one.

Who is it? Mr. Drucker.

What does he want?

What do you want?

I just want to know What size radiator

He needs for his tractor.

He wants to know what size radio

You need for your tractor.

I don't need a radio!

He doesn't need A radio. Good-bye.

Not a radio. A radiator.

Oh. Hello, mr. Drucker. I made a mistake.

My husband doesn't Want a radiator.

No, I do want one!

He do want one!

Yeah, I know he do want one...

I just want to know what size.

Hello? Hello?

Doris, I'm talking To mrs. Douglas.

Oh, hello, mrs. Douglas.

Hello, mrs. Ziffel!

How's your husband's radiator?

He's going to get a new one.

Oh, I hope it makes Him feel better.

Doris, will you hang up?

Bye!

Mrs. Douglas, would You ask mr. Douglas

What size radiator he needs?

Darling, what size Radiator do you need?

Tell him I'll call him back.

He'll call you back.

Are you through plugging?

Yep! I race you down.

Ohh!

You cheated!

Oliver! Oliver! Breakfast is ready!

He's coming, mrs. Douglas.

Oh, where is he?

Out in the fields, Hoeing and muttering.

Is he doing that again?

Yes, ma'am. He's Become a real mutterer.

Acts kind of strange, too.

How strange?

Well, I don't know. Strange.

I think the farm's Getting him down.

Oh, he's working too hard.

Oliver, breakfast!

Coming!

Eb! Cut it out, you...

Oh, you're not Eb. You're a horse.

You're pretty smart, aren't you?

And you're pretty Conceited, too.

Lisa: oliver!

Well, I got to go to breakfast.

You better go back Where you came from.

No, no, no. Go home. Go home.

That's a good boy.

No, no, no. Go on. Now, Stop following me.

Go on home. Beat it.

Darling, who are you talking to?

The horse. What horse?

The horse followed...

There was a horse That followed me home.

Oh?

He did!

I didn't say anything.

Lisa, a horse did Follow me home.

That's very nice.

A big white horse With black spots.

Why don't you go inside And wash up for breakfast?

There was a horse.

There you are. Where did you go to?

You followed me all the Way home and disappeared...

Oliver, who are you talking to?

The horse I was Telling you about.

He's in there with you?

Yes, come on in.

Now maybe you'll believe Me when I tell you...

There he is, look...

There was a horse looking At me through that window.

The same one?

Of course the same one!

How many horses Do you think I see...

Is he there now?

No. He was here.

He was watching Me wash my hands.

Why would he do that?

I don't know. Maybe it's his hobby.

Why didn't he come in?

Horses don't come in.

They just watch people Washing their hands.

Yes. Uh, no.

Look, is breakfast ready?

Darling, don't you Want to lie down

And rest for a while?

Rest? I just...

Lisa, a horse followed Me home through the fields

And the same horse Washed me watch my hands.

watched me wash my hands.

Oh, there you are.

Well, I'm glad You're still here.

My wife was beginning To think I was seeing you.

I mean, not seeing... Uh...

Come on, I want you To meet her. Come on.

Oh, come on.

Come on, now...

Wait right here. Wait right here.

Come on, now, come on. I want you to meet her.

There we go. That's the stuff.

I'll be right back.

Come on!

Darling, darling, I believed you!

Nevertheless, I want you To see with your own eyes,

So there won't be Any question. There...

There was a horse There tied to a tree!

What tree?

A tree! It was right There, tied to this horse!

A tree walked away with a horse?

Of course not.

How can a tree walk Away with a horse?

Darling, why don't you lie Down and I call the doctor?

I don't need a doctor! I Saw it with my own eyes!

There was... A tree... Oh...

Here, horse! Horse?

Oh, hello, dr. Stuart.

How are you, mrs. Douglas?

Fine. Won't you come in, please?

Say, you didn't have Any paintings up

Last time I was out here.

We only hung them a Couple of months ago.

Matisse? Say, that's A pretty fine copy.

Looks almost like the original.

It is the original!

An original matisse?

Yes. And over here we Have a gauguin and a renoir.

Originals? Yes.

Oh, doctor, I'm terribly Worried about oliver.

As I told you on the telephone,

He keeps seeing trees and Horses which aren't there.

Well, that's...

An original matisse, Gauguin, and a renoir?

We have a small Rembrandt in the bathroom.

In the bathroom?

We have very little wall space.

Doctor, do you think he Was out in the sun too long?

It's quite poss... But these Must be worth a fortune.

I always say why get a copy

When the original is only a Few thousand dollars more?

Yes. That's...

Lisa, isn't that doc Stuart's car... Oh, it is!

How are you, mr. Douglas?

Very good, doctor, and If mrs. Douglas got you

Out here on my account, You're wasting your time.

I just called the Doctor and I told him

If he happens to be In the neighborhood

To drop in and... And See our paintings.

They're all originals, huh?

Doctor, there's Nothing wrong with me.

Darling, did you find Your horse and tree?

Uh, no. But they're Around somewhere.

Stick out your Tongue and say "Aah."

If the doctor wants me To stick out my tongue

He'll tell me to.

Stick out your tongue.

No! There's nothing Wrong with me!

Just sit down here, mr. Douglas,

And take it easy.

Would you mind boiling A little water for me?

All right, doctor.

Now, you just relax.

I don't know what My wife told you,

But I'm all right. I saw a horse!

I talked to him.

Did he answer you?

Don't be ridiculous.

Oh, he nodded his head "Yes" a couple of times.

Ohh. I'm going to give You a prescription

For a mild sedative To take at bedtime

To help calm you down.

I don't need to be...

Mr. Douglas, men Who've been farming

A lot longer than You have cracked up.

I haven't...

The strain of planting And the weather

And the crops and prices...

Takes a lot more out Of you than you think.

Doctor, it's not...

In the city, I Needed a sedative.

Trying to make a Dollar in that rat race...

Everybody scratching And clawing...

You couldn't turn around but You'd find a knife in your back,

But, doctor, out here, the Only scratching a man does

Is in the soil when He plants the seed.

He nurtures it, coaxes It up toward the sun,

Nurturing it to full harvest,

When he can pick Them and market them,

Knowing that he and he alone

With the shovel, the Seed, the sun, and the soil

Has found fulfillment.

The... I'd better give you Something a little stronger.

Doc! There is nothing Wrong with me!

You see what I mean?

Nothing to worry about. He's just a little edgy.

Here are samples A salesman left.

Make sure he takes One at bedtime.

They work fast. He'll Drop off like that.

Yes? Mrs. Douglas?

You told me to remind You to give mr. Douglas

That pill to make him sleep.

It's already in the milk.

Which glass?

Uh, well, I...

In the movies, they're Always getting

The glasses with The mickey mixed-up.

Well, this mickey Won't get mixed up.

Oh, I know.

No. I think it's this one.

That the one?

No.

That the one?

Um... Oh, I know!

Won't he be able to taste that?

No, I don't think so.

Hmm. Needs a little sugar.

Perfect.

How about the other one?

Well, which is the other one?

The one without the sugar.

No, this has sugar in it.

Mmm, fine.

Good night.

Good night.

Milk? You know I Don't drink milk.

Did you put something In here to make me...

So you got the mickey.

Ah, you're a good kid, Worrying about me.

But there was a Horse. Sleep tight.

Lisa! Lisa, wake up!

There's a zebra in the window!

Lisa! Look at the...

And then just as I was About to turn off the...

I wonder why I'm so sleepy.

Are you listening to me?

Yes, darling. Go right ahead.

Well, I was about to tell you...

I saw a zebra standing There in the window.

A what?

A zebra!

It's a kind of a Horse with stripes.

You got tired just Looking at plain horses?

Lisa, if you hadn't conked out,

You'd have seen him, too.

It was a zebra!

I call the doctor.

No, you don't have To. I tell you, I...

There's got to be Some explanation!

You say that's your Ostrich, mr. Holter?

Yes, sir.

Can you identify him?

Identify him?! Mr. Haney, How many ostriches

Are there running Around in hooterville?

Well, I never counted 'em,

But that could be one of 'em.

Mr. Haney, that ostrich Is from my circus.

When the truck overturned, 5 of my animals got away.

Well, if that is your ostrich,

It's run up quite a bill

Since it walked into our Bedroom this morning.

A bill? For what?

There's $5.00 for bleaching My wife's hair blond.

Huh?

Well, when she Woke up and seen it,

Her hair turned Prematurely white.

Well, all right, I'll give you $5.00.

Well, that's not all, neighbor.

You owe me $12 for 6 hens.

What hens?

It laid this and 6 of My best white leghorns

Had nervous breakdowns Trying to compete.

Well, I guess $10 ought To take care of everything.

15'd take care of it better.

Ten. I get to keep the egg.

Mr. Haney, how would you Like to earn some extra money?

How?

Well, if you'll help me find

The rest of the Animals that escaped.

What kind are they?

Well, besides this ostrich, There was a trained horse,

And a zebra, and a...

That was a camel! I Know that was a camel!

You saw it, didn't you?

What am I talking to you for?

And then last Night, mr. Kimball,

Guess what else he didn't see?

A zebra!

Well, I wouldn't Worry too much, mrs...

Yes, I would. A zebra, huh?

Dr. Stuart says he's under A strain from farming.

Yeah, see, the Department's compiled

A lot of statistics On... Well, not a lot.

They gathered together... Well, they didn't gather them.

Some high school kid left his Notebook in the chief's office.

They discovered that farmers In the northeast suffered from...

No, they didn't suffer Too much. They...

Oliver: lisa!

Mr. Kimball, could You talk to mr. Douglas

And see if he Won't take it easy?

Sure, don't worry.

I know how to handle These kind of cases.

Don't tell him I talked to you.

Yeah, they just need A little humoring.

Hello, mr. Douglas. How are you?

Oh, I'm all right.

Of course you are. Say, that certainly is

A nice-lookin' Horse you got there.

Mind if I feed him A piece of sugar?

Say, look at him eat that.

Think your zebra Would like a piece, too?

Have you been Talking to my wife?

About what?

About my seeing a horse, A zebra, and a camel?

A camel? She didn't Say anything about a...

Oh, I didn't notice him. Ha ha!

Say, certainly is... Oh, boy.

It's none of my Business, mr. Douglas,

But maybe you been... Is That your chimp over there?

Would you like a Punch in the nose?

No, I don't think I'd like that.

Then stop making fun of me.

There's a chimp standing there.

That's strange. There was a...

Here, chimp! Here, chimp!

Oh, stop!

Mr. Douglas!

Oh, mr. Douglas!

What's the matter?

Did you see a camel?

You, too, huh?!

I caught the zebra And the chimp.

Hey, that's my zebra!

That's my chimp.

Not my chimp. Whose chimp is he?

Well, it belongs to An itinerant circus.

Their truck turned over

And some of the Animals got loose.

Was there a horse?

Yeah. The fella got him.

Lisa!

Darling, what's the matter?

What do you see?

Mr. Haney's truck.

No. What do you See on the truck?

What do you want me to see?

The zebra and the chimpanzee!

I see a zebra and a chimpanzee And I'll call the doctor.

No, no. If you don't see them,

You'd better call the doctor.

Well, I see them,

But I'm not sure if They're really there.

They're there, all right.

They got loose from the circus.

Oh, darling, I'm so Glad you're not a nut!

Well, sometimes I wonder.

Are you missing a Boxing kangaroo?

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