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Captioning made possible
By mgm home entertainment
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Oliver: ♪ green acres
Is the place to be ♪
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♪ farm livin' is
The life for me ♪
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♪ land spreadin'
Out so far and wide ♪
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♪ keep manhattan, just
Give me that countryside ♪
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Lisa: ♪ new york ♪
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♪ is where I'd rather stay ♪
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♪ I get allergic smelling hay ♪
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00:00:48,431 --> 00:00:51,867
♪ I just adore a
Penthouse view ♪
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00:00:51,935 --> 00:00:53,412
♪ darling, I love you ♪
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♪ but give me park avenue ♪
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♪ the chores ♪
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♪ the stores ♪
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♪ fresh air ♪
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♪ times square ♪
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♪ you are my wife ♪
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♪ good-bye, city life ♪
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Both: ♪ green acres,
We are there ♪
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Oliver! Oliver!
20
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:34,943
What do you want?
21
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,344
Breakfast is ready!
22
00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:38,080
Huh? What are we having?
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00:01:38,149 --> 00:01:40,916
Something new I
Cooked. It's a surprise.
24
00:01:40,985 --> 00:01:42,985
A surprise?
25
00:01:52,396 --> 00:01:53,461
Ooh!
26
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,575
And where are you going?
27
00:01:55,599 --> 00:01:57,132
Uh, oh, I was just...
28
00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:58,934
Shneaking out?
29
00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,568
I wasn't shneak... Sneaking out.
30
00:02:00,637 --> 00:02:03,338
This way is shneaking.
That way is breakfast.
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00:02:03,407 --> 00:02:04,773
I was going to call eb.
32
00:02:04,842 --> 00:02:06,653
I call him. Eb!
33
00:02:06,677 --> 00:02:07,609
Yes, ma'am?
34
00:02:07,678 --> 00:02:09,455
Breakfast is ready!
35
00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,578
What are we having?
36
00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:12,492
Something new I cooked.
37
00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:14,149
Uh-oh.
38
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,966
I'll be there in a few minutes!
39
00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:24,126
Pray, tell me where
Are you shneaking to?
40
00:02:24,195 --> 00:02:25,493
I was sneaking...
41
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,674
I was gonna call mr. Douglas.
42
00:02:27,698 --> 00:02:29,564
It's too late. I
Already caught him.
43
00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:30,565
Oh.
44
00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:33,302
The kitchen is that way.
45
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,148
Mrs. Douglas, look!
46
00:02:41,145 --> 00:02:43,478
Oh, alice!
47
00:02:43,547 --> 00:02:47,782
Darling, look!
Isn't this a miracle?
48
00:02:47,852 --> 00:02:49,551
Depends on who laid it.
49
00:02:49,619 --> 00:02:51,453
Alice!
50
00:02:51,521 --> 00:02:53,222
Then it's no miracle.
51
00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:54,223
But it is.
52
00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:56,424
It's the first egg
She laid in a week.
53
00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:57,759
I didn't know that.
54
00:02:57,828 --> 00:02:59,127
We kept it from you.
55
00:02:59,196 --> 00:03:00,573
We didn't want to worry you.
56
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,831
I don't think I'd
Have been worried.
57
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,199
Why, that's nice...
58
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,778
After the way she
Worried about you
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00:03:05,802 --> 00:03:07,202
When you were sick.
60
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,171
Oh, I appreciate that.
61
00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:11,784
I bet you never thanked her
62
00:03:11,808 --> 00:03:14,442
For the get well
Card she sent you.
63
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,581
Alice. Look how happy she is.
64
00:03:19,649 --> 00:03:21,683
For a whole week,
She was very worried.
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00:03:21,752 --> 00:03:24,052
Every day of her
Life she laid an egg,
66
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,165
Then all of the sudden,
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00:03:25,189 --> 00:03:26,733
Somebody pulled the
Rug out from under her.
68
00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:28,056
What was wrong with her?
69
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,992
Her egg maker was on the blink.
70
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,659
Her egg maker?
71
00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:33,173
Yes. Hers wasn't making it,
72
00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:35,330
So we took her to dr. Stuart.
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00:03:35,399 --> 00:03:36,731
Dr. Stuart?
74
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,678
We'd have told you, but
We didn't want to worry you.
75
00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:40,002
I wouldn't have worried.
76
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,048
She worried about
You when you were sick.
77
00:03:42,072 --> 00:03:44,739
Yes, I know. She sent
Me a get well card.
78
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,141
You ever thank her?
79
00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:49,011
Oh, eb.
80
00:03:49,079 --> 00:03:50,845
Darling, don't yell at eb.
81
00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:52,625
He's the one who saved alice.
82
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,194
I thought you said
Doc stuart saved her.
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00:03:54,218 --> 00:03:57,286
He gave her up, but eb
Fixed alice's egg maker
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00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:59,154
So it was making again.
85
00:03:59,223 --> 00:04:00,322
How did you do that?
86
00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:03,292
I'm sorry, but it ain't ethical
87
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,538
For a doctor to discuss
A patient's problems
88
00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:07,062
With an outsider.
89
00:04:07,131 --> 00:04:10,198
That happens to be my chicken.
90
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:11,611
Oh, well, in that case,
91
00:04:11,635 --> 00:04:12,913
I guess it would be all right
92
00:04:12,937 --> 00:04:14,614
With the american
Medical association.
93
00:04:14,638 --> 00:04:16,104
I'm sure that it would.
94
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,951
All I did was change her diet.
95
00:04:17,975 --> 00:04:19,574
I took her off hotcakes.
96
00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:23,745
Lisa, you haven't been
Feeding that chicken hotcakes.
97
00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:25,213
Yes.
98
00:04:25,282 --> 00:04:28,683
Well, no wonder her egg
Maker went on the blink.
99
00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:31,186
Well, don't worry. We
Won't have it anymore.
100
00:04:31,255 --> 00:04:32,687
No. No more hotcakes.
101
00:04:32,756 --> 00:04:33,688
No.
102
00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:34,801
Hear, hear.
103
00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:37,359
Uh, don't get carried away
104
00:04:37,428 --> 00:04:39,861
Until you find out what
We're going to have instead.
105
00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:42,864
There you are...
106
00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,799
Your instead-of-hotcakes.
107
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,568
What is it? Guess.
108
00:04:46,636 --> 00:04:50,238
Uh, the hubcap of a 1929 essex.
109
00:04:50,307 --> 00:04:52,874
I don't know how to make those.
110
00:04:52,943 --> 00:04:54,909
Well, then I'm stuck.
111
00:04:54,979 --> 00:04:57,379
It's an italian pancake.
112
00:04:57,448 --> 00:04:58,713
An italian...
113
00:04:58,782 --> 00:05:01,049
You probably know it
By its american name...
114
00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:02,050
A pizza.
115
00:05:02,119 --> 00:05:04,819
A pizza?
116
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,422
I scraped off the anchovies
And the mushrooms.
117
00:05:07,491 --> 00:05:09,257
That's the dinner part.
118
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:11,193
Unless, of course,
You want the anchovies
119
00:05:11,261 --> 00:05:12,894
And the mushrooms for breakfast,
120
00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:15,563
And then you can have
The pancake for dinner.
121
00:05:15,632 --> 00:05:17,366
Lisa...
122
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,968
I'd rather we just
Went back to hotcakes.
123
00:05:20,037 --> 00:05:22,504
And ruin alice's egg maker?
124
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:26,141
Lisa, nobody eats anything
Like this for breakfast.
125
00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:29,411
Oh, boy, my
Favorite breakfast...
126
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,545
Scraped pizza.
127
00:05:34,184 --> 00:05:35,950
Yum yum.
128
00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,987
Oh, don't worry. I'll fix.
129
00:05:42,059 --> 00:05:44,592
Here's another
One for you, darling.
130
00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:47,962
I don't think that...
131
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,466
I'll get it. I'll get it!
132
00:05:51,535 --> 00:05:53,668
But what about
Your italian pancake?
133
00:05:53,737 --> 00:05:55,215
Sweetheart, you
Glue the anchovies
134
00:05:55,239 --> 00:05:56,416
And the mushrooms back on it,
135
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,174
And I'll it for
Columbus day breakfast.
136
00:06:03,047 --> 00:06:04,579
I don't think they can hear us.
137
00:06:04,648 --> 00:06:06,481
You'd better wheel
Arnold around to the back.
138
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,952
You wheel him
Around to the back.
139
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:13,221
I wheeled him all
The way over here.
140
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,623
Oh, ain't that a fine thing?
141
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:18,026
Here we are on an
Errand of mercy,
142
00:06:18,095 --> 00:06:20,929
And you keeping account about
Who's wheeling what where.
143
00:06:20,997 --> 00:06:23,231
Well, my back has
Just about had it.
144
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,668
Oh, mr. Ziffel. What...
What do you have here?
145
00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:29,071
Hello, mr. Douglas. I'm
Sorry to disturb you,
146
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,339
But we got a mighty
Sick pig on our hands.
147
00:06:31,408 --> 00:06:32,340
Oh.
148
00:06:32,409 --> 00:06:33,708
Uh, you know doris?
149
00:06:33,777 --> 00:06:34,943
Fred, will you stop
150
00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:37,412
Lumping me in with your pig?
151
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:40,382
Oh, mr. Ziffel, mrs. Ziffel.
152
00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:41,916
Is something wrong?
153
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,418
Arnold's sick.
154
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,053
Oh, the poor thing.
155
00:06:45,122 --> 00:06:47,322
Aw, he's been shivering
And shaking that way
156
00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,823
All night long.
157
00:06:48,892 --> 00:06:51,693
Just like his pappy
Did before he moved on
158
00:06:51,761 --> 00:06:54,463
To that big pigpen in the sky.
159
00:06:57,134 --> 00:06:59,234
Yeah, but it ain't going
To happen to arnold.
160
00:06:59,303 --> 00:07:00,235
Where's eb?
161
00:07:00,304 --> 00:07:03,071
Inside, finishing
His scraped pizza.
162
00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:05,273
You see? They have
'em for breakfast,
163
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,982
And they're from new york.
164
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,744
Well, I don't care
Where they're from.
165
00:07:09,813 --> 00:07:11,846
We need eb to
Make arnold better.
166
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:13,493
Eb? What about doc stuart?
167
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:15,383
Well, we'd rather have eb.
168
00:07:15,452 --> 00:07:16,729
Would you mind calling him?
169
00:07:16,753 --> 00:07:18,052
Eb?
170
00:07:18,122 --> 00:07:19,732
You know, eb fixed arnold up.
171
00:07:19,756 --> 00:07:21,334
He's pretty good with pigs.
172
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,091
Well, if it is his egg maker,
173
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,726
Eb can fix it.
174
00:07:24,794 --> 00:07:26,394
His what?
175
00:07:26,463 --> 00:07:27,773
Honey, pigs don't
Have egg makers.
176
00:07:27,797 --> 00:07:28,797
Yes, sir?
177
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,865
Oh, eb, take a look
At arnold, will you?
178
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,638
How long's he been shaking
And shivering this way?
179
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,072
All night long.
180
00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:39,941
He's got a hot snoot.
181
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:42,410
He been suffering
From lassitudenessness?
182
00:07:42,479 --> 00:07:45,880
He's been lassitudenessing
All over the place.
183
00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:48,617
Aha. It's the shim shams.
184
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:49,751
What's that?
185
00:07:49,819 --> 00:07:51,564
I ain't got no time for
Medical explanations.
186
00:07:51,588 --> 00:07:52,787
Somebody boil some hot water.
187
00:07:52,856 --> 00:07:53,933
I'll do it.
188
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,535
You get a pail. Right away.
189
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,125
Mr. Ziffel, you
Run into drucker's
190
00:07:57,194 --> 00:07:59,194
And get a bottle of
Sawyer's soothing syrup.
191
00:07:59,263 --> 00:08:00,406
I'm on my way.
192
00:08:00,430 --> 00:08:01,974
Mr. Douglas, you wheel
The patient into the barn.
193
00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:03,009
Yeah, I'll get him into the...
194
00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:05,133
What are you
Talking about? In the...
195
00:08:05,202 --> 00:08:07,469
I got to keep sterile.
196
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,311
Saved arnold's life, huh?
197
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:17,312
I guess so.
198
00:08:17,381 --> 00:08:18,513
You guess so?
199
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:20,126
Mr. And mrs. Ziffel said
200
00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:21,449
That eb saved arnold
201
00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:23,785
From going to the
Big playpen in the sky.
202
00:08:23,853 --> 00:08:26,488
Pigpen in the sky.
203
00:08:26,557 --> 00:08:28,168
Well, wherever he didn't go,
204
00:08:28,192 --> 00:08:29,902
The ziffels were very happy.
205
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,359
Oh, that eb.
206
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,061
He's sure got a
Way with animals.
207
00:08:33,129 --> 00:08:34,996
Doc stuart always said
He should've been a vet.
208
00:08:35,065 --> 00:08:37,332
A vet vot?
209
00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:39,067
A veterinarian.
210
00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:42,036
Oh, that kind of a vet vot.
211
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,083
Well, if he'd make
Such a good one,
212
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,039
Why isn't he?
213
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,208
He has to go to college.
214
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,609
Why?
215
00:08:47,678 --> 00:08:48,743
To be a veterinarian,
216
00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:49,922
You've got to have a diploma.
217
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,846
Just like a doctor
That treats people.
218
00:08:51,915 --> 00:08:54,482
Oh, well, people's
Doctor I can understand,
219
00:08:54,551 --> 00:08:55,961
Because people go to the office
220
00:08:55,985 --> 00:08:57,129
And look at the diploma,
221
00:08:57,153 --> 00:08:59,387
But animals never.
222
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,055
Well...
223
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,835
Wait until you hear
The next part of it.
224
00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:04,103
When eb fixed up alice,
225
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,060
She didn't look for his diploma,
226
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,430
And neither did arnold
When eb saved him
227
00:09:08,498 --> 00:09:10,632
From the shiver
Shake shim shams.
228
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,234
Well...
229
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,479
I don't think she's finished.
230
00:09:13,503 --> 00:09:15,081
Now, if eb needs a diploma,
231
00:09:15,105 --> 00:09:16,182
He should go to college,
232
00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:18,373
So he can become a vegetarian.
233
00:09:18,442 --> 00:09:21,142
Uh, I think he'd rather
Become a veterinarian.
234
00:09:21,211 --> 00:09:23,256
Well, whatever. Why doesn't he?
235
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,046
I don't think he can afford to.
236
00:09:25,115 --> 00:09:29,050
Well, if he can't,
I know who can.
237
00:09:29,119 --> 00:09:31,219
Why should we
Send eb to college?
238
00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:32,354
What would have happened
239
00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:34,623
If your father had
Said that to you?
240
00:09:34,691 --> 00:09:35,801
He didn't.
241
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,325
Well, that proves it.
242
00:09:37,394 --> 00:09:38,326
Proves what?
243
00:09:38,395 --> 00:09:40,662
Your father was
Nicer than you are.
244
00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:42,897
College can be pretty expensive.
245
00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:43,998
How expensive?
246
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:47,068
Mink coat expensive
Or sable coat expensive?
247
00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:48,670
Mink.
248
00:09:48,739 --> 00:09:51,172
Well, then why don't we
Send eb to college instead?
249
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,173
Instead of what?
250
00:09:52,242 --> 00:09:54,008
You buying me a mink coat.
251
00:09:54,077 --> 00:09:56,711
I wasn't going to
Buy you a mink coat.
252
00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:58,179
Well, then you
Certainly can afford
253
00:09:58,248 --> 00:09:59,614
To send eb to college.
254
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:00,948
Lisa...
255
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:04,051
Although if I go to
Visit eb in college,
256
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,620
It wouldn't be
Nice if I would go
257
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,255
Without a mink coat.
258
00:10:07,324 --> 00:10:09,190
He wouldn't mind.
259
00:10:09,259 --> 00:10:11,293
Did your mother ever
Visit you at harvard
260
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,594
Without a mink coat?
261
00:10:12,663 --> 00:10:14,195
Many times.
262
00:10:14,264 --> 00:10:15,597
I guess it didn't matter
263
00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:18,400
Who your mother
Was in those days.
264
00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:21,469
No. The standards
Were much lower.
265
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,237
What are we talking about?
266
00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:25,440
About the kind of a mink
Coat you're going to buy me
267
00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:27,442
When I visit eb in college.
268
00:10:27,511 --> 00:10:28,688
If eb goes to college,
269
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:29,989
You're not going
To get a mink coat.
270
00:10:30,013 --> 00:10:32,447
How about a mink stole? No.
271
00:10:32,516 --> 00:10:34,783
Earmuffs? No.
272
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,785
Finger warmer? Nothing.
273
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:39,854
I hope eb appreciates
The sacrifice I made
274
00:10:39,923 --> 00:10:41,489
To send him to college.
275
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,325
Lisa, we don't even know
276
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,327
If he wants to go to college.
277
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,228
Send me to college?
278
00:10:47,297 --> 00:10:49,531
Oh! Ooh!
279
00:10:49,599 --> 00:10:51,477
Watch what you're doing.
280
00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:52,901
You want me to
Kiss it, mr. Douglas?
281
00:10:52,936 --> 00:10:54,314
No! Let it alone.
282
00:10:54,338 --> 00:10:56,938
I'm sorry. It's just
That I got so excited.
283
00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:58,172
Do you really mean it?
284
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,452
Yeah. We've been
Thinking about it.
285
00:10:59,476 --> 00:11:01,220
Gosh, nobody's ever done
Anything like this for me.
286
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,176
Well, eb...
287
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,679
Nobody. Nobody!
288
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,349
I repeat... Nobody has
Ever done anything
289
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,350
Like this for me before.
290
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,918
Yeah, I think I can
Understand why!
291
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:13,521
I'll pay you back,
Mr. Douglas... Every penny.
292
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,522
No.
293
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,724
I insist.
294
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,225
Just keep accurate records...
295
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:20,094
Not like the ones you keep
For the income tax department.
296
00:11:20,163 --> 00:11:21,095
Eb...
297
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:23,030
Eb, did my husband tell you?
298
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,165
Yes, he did,
299
00:11:24,234 --> 00:11:25,845
And I want to thank you
For what you're doing.
300
00:11:25,869 --> 00:11:27,702
Like I was telling mr. Douglas,
301
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,081
Nobody has ever done anything
302
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,383
Like this for me before...
303
00:11:30,407 --> 00:11:32,540
Nobody. Nobody!
304
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,275
Well, we are very glad to do it.
305
00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:36,711
We never had a boy to
Send to college before.
306
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,324
I'll make you proud of me, mom.
307
00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:39,447
You, too, dad.
308
00:11:39,516 --> 00:11:42,250
Eb, we're just sending
You to college.
309
00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:43,685
We're not adopting you.
310
00:11:43,754 --> 00:11:44,986
Why don't we?
311
00:11:45,054 --> 00:11:46,054
Yes, why don't we?
312
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:48,256
If I'm your son,
313
00:11:48,324 --> 00:11:50,336
Then I won't have to pay
You back for sending me.
314
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,495
Oliver, you told
Him to pay us back?
315
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,241
He suggested it himself.
316
00:11:55,265 --> 00:11:58,165
Oh, well, eb, you don't
Have to pay us back.
317
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,268
Thanks. Now, my
Next question is...
318
00:12:00,336 --> 00:12:02,203
How do I get to harvard?
319
00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:05,006
Well, you... Harvard?
320
00:12:05,074 --> 00:12:06,941
Well, if it was good
Enough for you,
321
00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:08,242
It's good enough for him.
322
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,322
Lisa, he's not going to harvard.
323
00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:11,946
If he's not going to harvard,
324
00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:13,214
He's not going to college.
325
00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:14,460
Mrs. Douglas, I
Don't care where I go.
326
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,817
You stay out of this.
327
00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:17,585
This is between
Your father and me.
328
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,186
I'm not his father.
329
00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:21,656
You sure know how to hurt a guy.
330
00:12:21,725 --> 00:12:23,102
No, no, I didn't
Mean to hurt you.
331
00:12:23,126 --> 00:12:24,526
I'm trying to help you.
332
00:12:24,594 --> 00:12:25,605
I mean, surely there must be
333
00:12:25,629 --> 00:12:27,172
Some local college around here
334
00:12:27,196 --> 00:12:29,341
Where you can study
Veterinary medicine.
335
00:12:29,365 --> 00:12:30,365
I guess there is.
336
00:12:30,434 --> 00:12:31,933
Why don't you ask mr. Kimball?
337
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,130
Ah, mr. Kimball.
338
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,222
Mr. Douglas, come in, come in.
339
00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:45,613
Thank you. Don't
Let me interrupt you.
340
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,583
No, no, no. I'm all finished.
341
00:12:48,652 --> 00:12:50,051
Care for a cup of coffee?
342
00:12:50,119 --> 00:12:52,186
No. No, thank you.
343
00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:55,089
I always make
Coffee in a test tube.
344
00:12:55,158 --> 00:12:56,691
It's more scientific.
345
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,960
Well, it's not
Scientific. It's...
346
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,039
How about some scientific tea?
347
00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:00,995
No, no, I...
348
00:13:01,064 --> 00:13:01,996
Scientific hot chocolate?
349
00:13:02,065 --> 00:13:02,997
Nothing, nothing.
350
00:13:03,066 --> 00:13:04,146
Say, this is the first time
351
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,344
You ever been up to my office.
352
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,735
Let me show you around.
353
00:13:07,804 --> 00:13:09,637
That's a lab table. Ha ha.
354
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:10,872
Oh?
355
00:13:10,941 --> 00:13:12,707
That's a desk...
356
00:13:12,776 --> 00:13:15,142
And that's a cabbage.
357
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,221
You can tell it's
A cabbage by...
358
00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:18,045
I know how to
Tell it's a cabbage.
359
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:20,682
Hey, you're really
Learning that farming game.
360
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:23,017
Mr. Kimball,
361
00:13:23,086 --> 00:13:24,726
I came up here to find
Out about a college
362
00:13:24,754 --> 00:13:26,955
Where you could learn
To be a veterinarian.
363
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:29,824
Mr. Douglas, just because
You recognize a cabbage
364
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,226
Doesn't mean you're
Qualified to be a vet.
365
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:35,630
I'm not talking about
Myself. I'm talking about eb.
366
00:13:35,699 --> 00:13:37,765
Oh, eb would make a fine vet.
367
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:40,267
He's kind, intelligent, and...
368
00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:41,736
Eb who?
369
00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:44,506
The boy who works for me.
370
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,274
Oh. He'd make a fine vet, too.
371
00:13:47,343 --> 00:13:49,143
Well, mr. Kimball,
372
00:13:49,212 --> 00:13:51,078
Are there any good
Local colleges?
373
00:13:51,147 --> 00:13:52,725
How about the one I went to?
374
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:55,082
Are there any others?
375
00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:56,651
Well, there's...
376
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,320
Oh. Ha ha ha. That
Was a joke, huh?
377
00:13:59,389 --> 00:14:02,089
Ha ha ha. No, I don't
Think that was a joke.
378
00:14:03,493 --> 00:14:06,027
Mr. Kimball, about
The colleges...
379
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:08,997
Oh, there's a county
College at the county seat.
380
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,143
It has a fine school
Of veterinary medicine
381
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,645
And a good agricultural school.
382
00:14:12,669 --> 00:14:15,147
Has one of the finest humus
Departments in the country.
383
00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:16,103
Humus?
384
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:18,006
Oh, that was my major.
385
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,607
I took 4 years of it...
386
00:14:19,676 --> 00:14:21,754
Elementary humus,
Intermediate humus,
387
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,277
And advanced humus.
388
00:14:23,346 --> 00:14:24,590
I got straight a's in humus.
389
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,747
Say, that's very nice.
390
00:14:25,815 --> 00:14:28,249
Yeah. I would've
Made phi beta kappa,
391
00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:29,877
But I flunked compost 2.
392
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,320
Mr. Kimball, would you recommend
393
00:14:33,389 --> 00:14:35,156
County college for eb?
394
00:14:35,224 --> 00:14:36,791
County college, they...
395
00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:39,861
Yes. Did you say eb was going?
396
00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:41,663
I thought you understood that.
397
00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:44,231
Oh, I do. No, I don't.
398
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,811
I thought eb
Couldn't afford to go.
399
00:14:45,835 --> 00:14:48,369
Well, we're thinking
Of sending him.
400
00:14:48,438 --> 00:14:50,304
Mr. Douglas...
401
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:51,940
That's a nice thing.
402
00:14:52,008 --> 00:14:54,442
No, not nice... Unselfish.
403
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:56,811
No, not unselfish...
Magnanimous.
404
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,913
Yes, that's the
Word... Magnanimous.
405
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,382
That is a word. I
Didn't make it up.
406
00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:02,697
I didn't think you did.
Well, thank you very much.
407
00:15:02,752 --> 00:15:05,453
Oh, oh, if eb decides
To go to college,
408
00:15:05,521 --> 00:15:06,966
Tell him I'll be very
Happy to help him
409
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,355
With his humus homework.
410
00:15:08,424 --> 00:15:10,925
Well, that's very
Magnanimous of you.
411
00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:14,929
Wish he'd use his own words.
412
00:15:19,569 --> 00:15:20,835
County college!
413
00:15:20,904 --> 00:15:22,169
Yeah, that's right, eb.
414
00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:23,549
Kimball says it's a good school.
415
00:15:23,573 --> 00:15:24,906
Then it's all settled.
416
00:15:24,975 --> 00:15:26,786
What about his
Clothes for college?
417
00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:27,742
What's wrong with these?
418
00:15:27,811 --> 00:15:29,221
Oh, no. You'll need a suit.
419
00:15:29,245 --> 00:15:31,145
Darling, should we
Send him to new york
420
00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:32,214
To your tailor,
421
00:15:32,281 --> 00:15:34,381
Or should we fly
Your tailor here?
422
00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:38,119
Lisa, eb doesn't need
A tailor-made suit.
423
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,154
Yeah, I can buy a
Fancy suit in pixley
424
00:15:40,223 --> 00:15:42,189
With a vest and 2 pair of pants.
425
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,191
How much? 8.95.
426
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,293
8.95?
427
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,294
If that's too much,
428
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,063
I can go to one of
The cheaper stores.
429
00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:50,464
You know, the
Kind that don't have
430
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,433
The nra eagle on the window.
431
00:15:53,603 --> 00:15:55,081
And while you're there, eb,
432
00:15:55,105 --> 00:15:58,773
Get some socks, shoes,
Shirt, and a mink coat.
433
00:15:58,842 --> 00:16:00,608
Lisa.
434
00:16:00,677 --> 00:16:03,044
Eb, get whatever you need.
435
00:16:11,454 --> 00:16:13,487
Mr. Haney, what... What...
436
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,524
Mr. Douglas, I wonder
If you can help me.
437
00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:17,637
Do you happen to have
438
00:16:17,661 --> 00:16:20,294
Any raccoon coat rejuvenator?
439
00:16:20,363 --> 00:16:21,363
Any what?
440
00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:23,442
I'd hate to send a
Boy off to college
441
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:26,567
In a unrejuvenated raccoon coat.
442
00:16:26,636 --> 00:16:28,136
What boy?
443
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:30,437
A young feller over
At crabwell corners.
444
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:31,583
His father ordered him
445
00:16:31,607 --> 00:16:33,775
This complete college kit...
446
00:16:33,843 --> 00:16:36,443
Stutz bearcat, raccoon coat,
447
00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:38,813
Ukulele ike ukulele,
448
00:16:38,882 --> 00:16:43,350
And this genuine
Elliot ness hip flask
449
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:47,822
Filled with non-alcoholic
Dandelion wine.
450
00:16:47,891 --> 00:16:52,026
Oh, that lucky, lucky boy.
451
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,839
I'm just delivering it to him.
452
00:16:53,863 --> 00:16:55,963
Oh, secuse me... The telephone.
453
00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:57,431
I didn't hear a phone ring.
454
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,133
Well, these mobile units
455
00:16:59,202 --> 00:17:01,468
All come with supersonic rings
456
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,471
Heard only by the subscriber.
457
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,908
Hello. Haney here.
458
00:17:06,976 --> 00:17:07,976
What?
459
00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:11,345
Oh, well, all right.
460
00:17:12,916 --> 00:17:14,381
How do you like that?
461
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,851
Feller just canceled
Out his order
462
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,120
For this complete college kit.
463
00:17:19,189 --> 00:17:20,554
And now you're stuck with it.
464
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,703
Yeah, I guess I am,
465
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,002
Unless I can find somebody
466
00:17:23,026 --> 00:17:25,526
That's sending a boy to college.
467
00:17:25,595 --> 00:17:27,895
Mr. Haney, I got
To give you credit.
468
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,630
I knew you were going
To get around to me,
469
00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:31,799
But I couldn't figure out how.
470
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:35,036
Are you sending
A boy to college?
471
00:17:35,105 --> 00:17:37,705
I am.
472
00:17:37,774 --> 00:17:39,841
I'm probably too late.
473
00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:41,909
A generous man like you,
474
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:45,312
He must've already
Bought him his college kit.
475
00:17:45,381 --> 00:17:46,881
No, I haven't.
476
00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:49,383
Then this is my lucky day.
477
00:17:49,452 --> 00:17:51,485
No, it isn't.
478
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:54,922
Mr. Douglas, are you going
To send a boy to college
479
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,024
Without a stutz bearcat
480
00:17:57,093 --> 00:17:58,926
And a raccoon coat?
481
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,129
I'm afraid I am.
482
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:03,876
At least he ought to have
483
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,967
This official instruction book
484
00:18:06,035 --> 00:18:07,935
For singing like betty boop.
485
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,103
Betty...
486
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,950
♪ boop boop be-doop, boop ♪
487
00:18:10,974 --> 00:18:13,241
No.
488
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:17,178
How about an autographed picture
489
00:18:17,247 --> 00:18:20,514
Of gilda grey for
His gym locker?
490
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:23,417
Uh, I've bought him
Everything he needs.
491
00:18:23,486 --> 00:18:24,418
Of course you got him
492
00:18:24,487 --> 00:18:26,720
A genuine rudy vallee stein
493
00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:29,356
With the words to
The maine stein song
494
00:18:29,425 --> 00:18:31,025
Etched on the bottom.
495
00:18:31,094 --> 00:18:32,359
No.
496
00:18:32,428 --> 00:18:33,694
Mr. Douglas,
497
00:18:33,763 --> 00:18:35,607
You're sending
This boy to college
498
00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:38,432
Without any statius symbols.
499
00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:40,768
He'll just have to suffer.
500
00:18:40,837 --> 00:18:43,671
Well, I'm not going to let him.
501
00:18:43,739 --> 00:18:45,807
At least I can give him this
502
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:46,808
Free of charge.
503
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:47,809
What's that?
504
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,777
15 yards of catgut
505
00:18:49,846 --> 00:18:52,246
For restringing
His tennis racket.
506
00:18:52,315 --> 00:18:55,082
He doesn't have a tennis racket.
507
00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:58,752
He doesn't have a tennis racket?
508
00:18:58,822 --> 00:18:59,965
How would you like to buy
509
00:18:59,989 --> 00:19:04,325
This genuine bill
Tilden smasher?
510
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,993
Mr. Haney, how would you like me
511
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,462
To dent your hip flask?
512
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,899
Ok, mr. Douglas.
513
00:19:22,178 --> 00:19:24,212
Mmm. Something smells good.
514
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,390
What are you cooking?
515
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,714
Pizza insides.
516
00:19:26,782 --> 00:19:29,717
Oh, you still had some
Scrapings left, huh?
517
00:19:29,785 --> 00:19:31,352
Well, I didn't
Want to waste any.
518
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,365
Oh, that wouldn't
Have bothered me.
519
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:36,357
Uh, where's eb?
520
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,125
Inside, packing for college.
521
00:19:38,194 --> 00:19:39,894
Oh.
522
00:19:39,963 --> 00:19:41,229
He's leaving in the morning.
523
00:19:41,297 --> 00:19:42,230
Yeah.
524
00:19:42,298 --> 00:19:43,530
Are you going to cry?
525
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,531
No.
526
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,799
Well, I am.
527
00:19:45,869 --> 00:19:47,034
Why?
528
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,936
Well, I think he expects it.
529
00:19:49,005 --> 00:19:50,471
Oh, lisa.
530
00:19:50,539 --> 00:19:52,907
I think you ought to cry, too.
531
00:19:52,976 --> 00:19:55,243
Believe me, it is not necessary.
532
00:19:55,311 --> 00:19:57,578
Well, at least blow
Your nose a few times,
533
00:19:57,646 --> 00:19:59,413
Just so that he knows
That you'll miss him.
534
00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:01,160
If I have a handkerchief.
535
00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:04,285
Eb: mr. Douglas, mrs.
Douglas are you ready?
536
00:20:04,354 --> 00:20:05,486
For what?
537
00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:06,854
I've got my new suit on.
538
00:20:06,923 --> 00:20:08,455
Oh, well, come in.
539
00:20:08,524 --> 00:20:09,556
Close your eyes.
540
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:11,192
Come on in.
541
00:20:13,229 --> 00:20:14,229
How do you like it?
542
00:20:14,264 --> 00:20:17,365
I should've closed my eyes.
543
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,300
You look very nice, eb.
544
00:20:19,369 --> 00:20:21,046
You'd never guess this was
Store-bought, would you?
545
00:20:21,070 --> 00:20:22,469
The salesman said this is what
546
00:20:22,538 --> 00:20:24,538
All the fellers wear at harvard.
547
00:20:24,607 --> 00:20:25,784
Come on, eb. Sit down.
548
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:26,974
Yes, ma'am.
549
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,312
I suppose you
Want to talk to me.
550
00:20:31,381 --> 00:20:32,679
What about?
551
00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:34,815
Whatever an older man
Talks to a younger man about
552
00:20:34,884 --> 00:20:36,884
At a time like this.
553
00:20:36,953 --> 00:20:38,297
Oh, I've got nothing
To say to you
554
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,065
Except just take
Care of yourself.
555
00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:42,556
You know, work
Hard, get good marks.
556
00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:44,525
You don't want to
Touch on girls, huh?
557
00:20:44,593 --> 00:20:45,593
Eb...
558
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,406
If you want to know
Anything about girls,
559
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:50,998
You better talk to
Me. I used to be one.
560
00:20:51,067 --> 00:20:52,199
What about them?
561
00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:54,768
Now, the most important
Thing to remember
562
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,138
Is never let a girl
Kiss you good night
563
00:20:57,206 --> 00:20:58,639
On your first date.
564
00:20:58,707 --> 00:20:59,941
Oh, no, no.
565
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,243
Oh, that'll give you a
Real bad reputation.
566
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:05,112
Eb, all you have to remember
567
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,148
Is that there are
All kinds of girls.
568
00:21:07,216 --> 00:21:09,516
Some are, uh...
569
00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:12,553
And others are, uh...
570
00:21:12,621 --> 00:21:15,156
And... Ahem.
571
00:21:15,224 --> 00:21:16,368
Have you finished packing?
572
00:21:16,392 --> 00:21:19,126
Yes, sir. What about the others?
573
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,095
Uh...
574
00:21:21,164 --> 00:21:22,796
Eb, if you got any problems,
575
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:25,299
Discuss them with
Your counselor.
576
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,400
Gosh, mr. Douglas,
577
00:21:26,469 --> 00:21:27,989
I always knew there
Were facts of life,
578
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,203
But this is the first time
579
00:21:29,272 --> 00:21:31,205
Anybody ever
Explained them to me.
580
00:21:31,274 --> 00:21:34,641
Well, I'm glad I had
The opportunity.
581
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,111
You sure must've had a lot
Of experience with women.
582
00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:38,512
You did?
583
00:21:38,581 --> 00:21:40,781
Uh, he said it, I didn't.
584
00:21:40,850 --> 00:21:42,727
Well, you must've
Had quite a reputation
585
00:21:42,751 --> 00:21:44,563
If he heard it all
The way out to here.
586
00:21:44,587 --> 00:21:45,919
He didn't hear anything.
587
00:21:45,989 --> 00:21:47,299
He just made a
Statement. Eb, why do you...
588
00:21:47,323 --> 00:21:48,667
You always said I
Was the only woman
589
00:21:48,691 --> 00:21:49,623
You ever knew.
590
00:21:49,692 --> 00:21:51,192
Well, you were.
591
00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:52,300
I was?
592
00:21:52,362 --> 00:21:53,362
Yes.
593
00:21:53,429 --> 00:21:54,840
All the other women
Didn't mean anything?
594
00:21:54,864 --> 00:21:55,864
No.
595
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,042
Then there were other women.
596
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:59,200
Uh, yes, there were...
597
00:21:59,268 --> 00:22:00,645
My mother, my sister, my aunt.
598
00:22:00,669 --> 00:22:01,869
Relatives don't count.
599
00:22:01,937 --> 00:22:03,315
Oh, for the love of pete, honey.
600
00:22:03,339 --> 00:22:04,638
Anybody interested in the fact
601
00:22:04,707 --> 00:22:06,173
That I'm leaving tomorrow?
602
00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:09,676
Oh, eb, I am so sorry. Yes, yes.
603
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,945
I sure am going
To miss you folks.
604
00:22:12,015 --> 00:22:13,392
Well, we're going to miss you.
605
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:14,526
Yes, we are.
606
00:22:14,550 --> 00:22:15,483
I'll write to you.
607
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:17,196
Oh, that will be very nice.
608
00:22:17,220 --> 00:22:18,220
Will you write to me?
609
00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:19,453
Yes.
610
00:22:19,522 --> 00:22:20,554
What about?
611
00:22:23,059 --> 00:22:25,092
Why don't you go finish packing?
612
00:22:25,161 --> 00:22:26,460
Yes, sir.
613
00:22:28,064 --> 00:22:30,731
Mr. Douglas, mrs. Douglas,
614
00:22:30,799 --> 00:22:32,599
I just want you to
Know that nobody,
615
00:22:32,668 --> 00:22:34,635
But absolutely nobody...
616
00:22:34,703 --> 00:22:36,337
Finish packing!
617
00:22:36,406 --> 00:22:37,471
Yes, sir.
618
00:22:42,912 --> 00:22:44,611
Oliver.
619
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:45,746
Hmm?
620
00:22:45,814 --> 00:22:47,448
What time is it?
621
00:22:47,517 --> 00:22:49,550
A little after 3:00.
622
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,252
I miss him.
623
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,253
Who?
624
00:22:52,321 --> 00:22:54,361
Eb. He left this
Morning for college
625
00:22:54,390 --> 00:22:56,323
8 hours ago.
626
00:22:56,392 --> 00:22:57,624
10.
627
00:22:57,693 --> 00:22:58,803
You counting?
628
00:22:58,827 --> 00:23:00,127
Well...
629
00:23:00,196 --> 00:23:02,163
You miss him, too.
630
00:23:02,231 --> 00:23:04,231
It's kind of lonely around here.
631
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:07,234
Why don't we go up to
College and visit him?
632
00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:09,136
It's his first day.
633
00:23:09,205 --> 00:23:10,882
Well, when are we
Going to see him?
634
00:23:10,906 --> 00:23:12,339
Eb: turn around.
635
00:23:12,408 --> 00:23:15,476
Hello, folks. I'm
Home from college.
636
00:23:15,545 --> 00:23:18,479
You just got there this morning.
637
00:23:18,548 --> 00:23:20,981
I know. Boy, that's
A tough school.
638
00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:23,195
I flunked one question
On the entrance exam,
639
00:23:23,219 --> 00:23:24,485
And they threw me out.
640
00:23:24,554 --> 00:23:26,387
One question? What was it?
641
00:23:26,456 --> 00:23:29,090
"What high school did
You graduate from?"
642
00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:31,158
You mean you didn't finish...
643
00:23:31,227 --> 00:23:32,359
No, sir.
644
00:23:32,428 --> 00:23:33,561
Well, that's ridiculous.
645
00:23:33,629 --> 00:23:34,861
Why didn't you say something?
646
00:23:34,930 --> 00:23:36,375
I didn't think it was important.
647
00:23:36,399 --> 00:23:37,576
Well, of course it's important.
648
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,532
How do you expect to go...
649
00:23:38,601 --> 00:23:40,446
I guess I'll have to
Give back the suit.
650
00:23:40,470 --> 00:23:42,336
Oh, no, keep it.
651
00:23:42,405 --> 00:23:44,049
And the socks and the shirts?
652
00:23:44,073 --> 00:23:45,372
They're yours.
653
00:23:45,441 --> 00:23:47,219
And the stutz bearcat?
654
00:23:47,243 --> 00:23:49,843
What stutz bearcat?
655
00:23:49,912 --> 00:23:51,579
What is a stutz bearcat?
656
00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:53,013
It's an automobile.
657
00:23:53,082 --> 00:23:54,759
You bought eb an automobile,
658
00:23:54,783 --> 00:23:56,027
And you didn't
Buy me a mink coat?
659
00:23:56,051 --> 00:23:57,551
No, I didn't buy
Him an automobile.
660
00:23:57,620 --> 00:23:59,786
Well, you didn't buy
Me a mink coat, either.
661
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:00,865
Gosh, it's good to be home,
662
00:24:00,889 --> 00:24:02,601
Watching mom and dad fight.
663
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:04,992
Will you change your
Clothes and get back to work?
664
00:24:05,060 --> 00:24:06,220
Yes, sir.
665
00:24:10,933 --> 00:24:12,966
Oh, that poor boy...
666
00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:14,179
Thrown out of college
667
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:17,138
Just because he didn't
Graduate from high school.
668
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:19,473
Oliver, tell me.
669
00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:21,408
Where did we fail?
670
00:24:21,477 --> 00:24:23,677
Where did...
671
00:24:23,746 --> 00:24:24,978
It's not our fault.
672
00:24:25,047 --> 00:24:27,114
It's always the parents' fault.
673
00:24:27,183 --> 00:24:28,594
Your mother told me that.
674
00:24:28,618 --> 00:24:31,118
She took the blame for
The way you turned out.
675
00:24:31,187 --> 00:24:34,155
What's the matter with
The way I turned out?
676
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:37,224
Well, you always put
Your arms around girls,
677
00:24:37,293 --> 00:24:38,592
Kissing them.
678
00:24:38,661 --> 00:24:40,761
Now, you're the only
Girl I ever do that to.
679
00:24:40,829 --> 00:24:42,696
Well, as long as I am here,
680
00:24:42,765 --> 00:24:44,965
Go ahead. Be a big failure.
681
00:24:57,413 --> 00:25:00,347
Captioning made possible
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682
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:03,536
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