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Oliver: ♪ green acres Is the place to be ♪

♪ farm livin' is The life for me ♪

♪ land spreadin' Out so far and wide ♪

♪ keep manhattan, just Give me that countryside ♪

Lisa: ♪ new york ♪

♪ is where I'd rather stay ♪

♪ I get allergic ♪

♪ smelling hay ♪

♪ I just adore a Penthouse view ♪

♪ darling, I love you ♪

♪ but give me park avenue ♪

♪ the chores ♪

♪ the stores ♪

♪ fresh air ♪

♪ times square ♪

♪ you are my wife ♪

♪ good-bye, city life ♪

Both: ♪ green acres, We are there ♪

Oliver!

Good morning, eb.

Morning, mrs. Douglas.

Do you know where Mr. Douglas is?

Yes, ma'am. He's out In the apple orchard.

Would you please call him

And tell him breakfast is ready?

Yes, ma'am. What are we having?

Hot cakes.

Oh. Well, I'll think of Some way to get him in.

Lisa! Oh, lisa, are You all right?

I'm fine.

You didn't hurt yourself

When you fell off The telephone pole?

I haven't been on The pole. It didn't ring.

Eb said that you fell...

It was the only way to get You in for the hot cakes.

That's very bright, Getting me all upset!

You get more Upset when I tell you

There are hot Cakes for breakfast.

Well, back to Feeding the chickens.

I'll probably eat with 'em.

Lisa, look at this.

Look, I got little Ones this morning.

Never mind that. Look at this.

It's very nice.

Lisa, taste it.

Are we going to Play adam and eve?

This just came from Our apple orchard.

Just this one? From All the trees we've got?

No, the trees are Loaded with them,

They're just ready to be picked.

Here. Come on, taste it.

First you taste my hot Cake, then I taste your apple.

Lisa, this is our first crop!

It means I'm a Success as a farmer!

The farm is beginning To pay off! Taste it!

You first.

Mmf.

Delicious.

Now, taste it.

Ooh, sour.

It's tart.

What does that mean? Sour.

That's what I said. It's tart.

No, you said that it was...

You sit down and Have your breakfast.

No, I haven't got time. Mr. Kimball's coming over.

Do you think he Would like a hot cake?

Not if he's smart. I Mean, he's coming over

To see if my apples Are ripe for picking.

Well, I'm sure he's going To give you good advice.

It might not be good, But it won't be bad.

It probably will be very good.

Please, I get enough Of this from mr. Kimball.

Well, this is about the Best crop of apples I ever...

Well, not the best. They certainly are.

Certainly are what?

Apples. Didn't you know?

Mr. Kimball, what I want to know is

Are they ready for picking?

Ooh! That one is.

Yeah. Here, taste one.

Try that.

Hmm. Pretty sour.

It's tart.

Yes, I guess you could Make sour tarts out of them.

There's another one Ready for picking. Ha ha!

Look, let's assume They're ready to be picked.

All right.

What's the next step?

You have to box 'em.

I don't mean...

No. I didn't think you did.

Although you might want To go a couple of rounds

With that one. Any More questions?

Yes. Where do I market them?

How do I get them there?

Well, let's take the Last question first.

No, let's take the First question first

Because I forgot what The last question was.

Now... What was the First question again?

Ooh, I remember. Where You market them, yes.

Most of the farmers take Them down to the marketplace

At the state capitol. That's upstate.

Well, it's not upstate. It's more like a side-state.

You won't have any Trouble finding the capitol.

Well, it's a big Building with a dome,

And the governor's usually Out front making speeches.

About what, eliminating County agents?

Oh, no, he... You know Something I don't know?

Oh, no. I was just kidding.

Oh. Heh heh.

Look, mr. Kimball,

This is the first Crop I've had to sell.

That's why I'm asking All these questions.

That's why I'm giving You all these answers.

And I appreciate them. Now, let me ask you,

What can I expect to Get from my apples?

Right now, the price Of apples is at its peak.

I heard they're Quoting $4.00 a bushel.

$4.00!

You heard that, too?

Gotta get them in within The next couple of days.

The farmer that gets There first gets top prices.

Hey, that makes sense.

It does? Then I guess I Haven't wasted your time.

Well, good-bye, mr. Douglas.

Uh...

Darling, you didn't Eat your hot cakes.

Oh, later.

Come on, eat your hot cakes!

I've got to drive In to mr. Drucker's

And get some boxes For our apples.

What's more important, Apples or togethernessness?

Togethernessness?

I ate your apple, you Didn't eat my hot cakes.

You call that togethernessness?

I'll eat them while I'm driving into town.

You won't, but It's a nice thought.

Eb! Yes, sir?

What are you doing Back there? Get out.

Here, take these with you.

No, thanks. I'm full up To here with chicken feed.

Get rid of them.

Lisa: oliver!

I've got to go into Town to get some boxes.

You start picking apples. How long will it take?

Oh, week, week and a half.

I want to get them Into market this week.

I've only got 2 hands

And one of them's got To hang onto the ladder.

Couldn't you hire Somebody to help you?

Well, I can put a notice Up on the bulletin board

Over at the high school And get some of the kids.

Just put up a simple Notice and get rid of these.

Lisa: oliver!

For crying out loud.

I know. Your move, fred.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Morning. Morning, mr. Douglas.

Mr. Drucker, I need...

Say, is this a good move?

Oh, no, no. Here.

Right there. That's your move.

Oh.

Next time I ask, You don't tell me.

I'm sorry. I... Look, mr. Drucker,

I need some apple boxes.

When do you need 'em?

Right away. I'm picking today.

All: today?

Yes, yes. My apples are all...

Is this a good move?

Yes. Oh, that's a dandy.

I thought I told You not to tell me.

Sam, give the man his boxes.

Let me write down what you need.

Are you really picking today?

Yes, aren't you?

Nope.

Aren't your apples ripe?

Yep.

Why aren't you picking?

Well, uh, fred, why Aren't we picking?

We ain't got no trucks To take 'em to market.

Why not?

Because the farmers Over in crabwell corners

Tied up the valley Trucking company

So's they could get Their apples in first.

Yeah, they done it to us again.

It'll be 2 weeks Before we can ship.

And you just sit around and Wait until crabwell corners

Get their apples in first And get the top prices?

Yeah. Guess we do.

Well, gentlemen, I'm ashamed of you,

Accepting defeat Without fighting.

In the history of The american farmer...

Are you gonna make another One of them speeches?

No, I...

If mr. Douglas wants to make Another one of them speeches,

He has every right to.

Yeah. I don't mind. I Ain't goin' no place.

All I wanted to say is That the american farmer

Did not succeed By being passive.

The american Farmer's a go-getter,

Uses his ingenuity.

If one road is closed To him, he finds another!

And if the bridge is Out, he will build one!

Fred: mr. Douglas,

Ain't nothin' wrong With our bridges,

We ain't got the trucks To move over them.

I know you ain't got no...

Uh, I know you haven't got no...

I know you haven't Got any trucks,

But instead of sitting here,

You should be out Doing something!

Do you realize that if You get your apples in first

You get $4.00 a bushel?

Whereas if you wait for 2 weeks,

You'll be lucky to get $1.75.

That's what we always get.

That's a fair price.

You mean you're Satisfied with that?

Yeah.

If I were to offer you $1.75 a bushel right now,

You'd take it?

Sold!

Well, I was only...

You can have mine, too!

Ben miller'd be Glad to sell you his.

I just wanted to make a point.

We didn't think you was serious.

Maybe I will buy them.

I'm not adverse to Taking a small profit.

Tell you what, you Pick your apples,

And I'll take them off Your hands at $1.75 a bushel.

But don't you come Crying to me now

When I sell them up at The state capitol for $4.00.

We won't. How you Gonna get 'em there?

I'll tell you how.

I'm gonna find a truck And take them there myself.

Oh, mr. Douglas!

Good morning, mr. Haney.

I thought you might Be looking for these.

They must've fallen Out of your car.

No, I threw... Look, I don't want them.

Lisa: oliver!

Did you hear something?

No, sir. It'd be a nice day

For shipping your Apples to market...

If you had a truck.

Mr. Haney... Guess you heard

The valley trucking Company's all tied up.

Yes, I know.

Of course, they're Not the only company

That ships apples.

They aren't?

No, no. There's the...

What is the name of That other outfit?

Oh!

The transcontinental Refrigerated

Apple trucking company.

You care to inspect Our modern mobile

Refrigerating facilities?

Refrigerated?

You know what That is? Genu-wine ice.

That's your refrigeration plant?

Yes, sir. It operates On the principle of cold.

You familiar with That principle?

Mr. Haney...

I call your attention To the safety devices

Of the marvel of Modern transportation.

In addition to the seatbelts,

Individual windshield wipers,

Radar, four-wheel brakes...

Radar?!

There you are.

Not only does it tell You where you are,

But it keeps the flies Off of your fruit.

I wouldn't care if this Truck had ejection seats...

Stand clear!

Now, the gyroscopic compass...

Mr. Haney, even if The truck could fly,

I wouldn't...

Haney to control tower.

Request permission to take off.

Mr. Haney, you're Wasting your time and mine.

I'm not interested in using Your trucking service.

I'm going to rent a truck.

Rent one? Yes.

Now, where did I see that sign?

Oh!

Like me to put you Into the driver's seat?

No, thank you.

I'm not interested In renting your truck

Nor using your trucking service.

Care to buy a couple Of used window shades?

The control tower Wants to talk to you.

Lisa!

Lisa!

Yes, darling! Where Have you been?

I've been looking for a truck.

What's all this?

Apples. Mr. Ziffel, Mr. Miller, mr. Kiley,

And mr. Somebody Else what-you-call-them

And his friend brought them.

They said that you bought them.

Yes, I did, but...

Why, darling? We Got our own apples?

I was in the store, I got... What's that?

The apple pickers.

Eb brought them From his high school

With the bulletin Sign off the board.

Doesn't sound like They're doing much picking.

Eb! Eb! Eb!

Eb! Eb!

You want to cut in, mr. Douglas?

No! Turn the radio off!

Cool it! Squire douglas is here!

That's better. You kids Were hired to pick apples!

Not to dance!

And what's that truck Doing in my orchard?

The kids drove over in it.

Get it out of here! And Finish picking the apples!

Every moment lost Is cost... A truck?

How are the apples riding?

Better than I am.

How far do we have to go?

Oh, about 500 miles Approximately.

I don't think my approximately Is going to take it.

Lisa, this is the day I've Always dreamed about...

Taking my first crop to market!

Are we going to stop Overnight in new york?

We don't go through new york.

Why not?

We don't go in that direction.

Do you want to Change directions?

All I want to do Is get these apples

To the state capitol While the price is still $4.00.

Can we spend the night in miami?

We don't go through miami.

Or chicago or los angeles.

All we do is go to The state capitol.

Hawaii?

If you keep this up, Know what I'll do?

No, what?

I'll pull over to the Side of the road and stop.

And then we smooch?

No!

You always used to Stop the car and smooch.

Lisa!

You said that's Why you married me,

Because I was such A good smoocher.

That's beside the point.

If I pull this truck over, It'll be to let you out

And you can walk Back to hooterville.

We've got a 15-hour Trip ahead of us,

And this constant chattering

Will drive me out of my mind.

Are you trying to Tell me something?

I'm trying to tell You to be quiet.

All right. I won't Say another word

Till we get to atlantic city.

State capitol. Lisa, how Many miles was that?

Lisa? Lisa, I'm talking to you.

You said to keep quiet.

All I want to know Is if you saw the sign.

What did it say? Yes.

It said "Drink moxie."

Moxie?

What is that?

Lisa, just watch the signs.

There goes a pretty one!

"Harold's garage. We fix flats."

What happened?

We got a flat.

Wasn't it handy of harold To have his sign up there?

Old harold's a very Enterprising fella.

Nobody else had a sign up there.

Well, that does it.

A flat tire and no spare.

What is a spare?

I've seen one. Another tire.

Under the apples. Where?

Oh. That means I gotta Unload the whole truck.

Announcer: and now its time for

Your 2:00 farm Commodity price report.

Wheat opened at...

Leave that on!

And corn and rye were steady.

The first apples of the Season were delivered

This morning from down-state Around crabwell corners

And opened at $4.00 a bushel.

500 bushels sold at $4.00.

$4.00!

Within an hour, they Had dropped to $3.75.

Some wholesalers Were quoting $3.65.

$3.65?!

Announcer: and $3.60.

Oh, no.

This report was brought To you by harold's garage,

Specialists in fixing flats.

Be sure to watch for their Signs along the highway.

Darn that tire. Took Me an hour to fix it,

The price dropped 40 cents,

And we've still got miles to go.

We've got to get rolling.

Officer, I was only doing 35.

28.

Then what did you stop me for?

What do you got on the truck?

Apples.

No law against that, is there?

No, but there is a law Against leaving them

On the side of the road.

What?

112 boxes, 40 miles back.

40 miles! Oh, officer!

Oh, that's all right.

Things like this Happen every day.

Well, not every Day, but some days.

Well, not some days.

He sounds like mr. Kimball.

Hank kimball? Why, he's my cousin.

Well, he's not really my cousin.

He's more like... No, he's not like him.

There is a certain...

Thanks, officer.

You haven't forgotten The apples this time?

No, and I wouldn't have Forgotten them before

If I hadn't been In such a hurry.

I don't usually forget things.

Where's your coat?

Announcer: and now here are The 5:00 commodity prices.

Apples are the main News in today's market.

Newton pippins and Bellflowers are being offered

Buy the growers For $3.00 a bushel.

$3.00?

But the taking price is $2.75.

$2.75?!

And $2.60.

$2.60? When we started out,

They were $4.00!

Darling, if you hurry Up, we can make it by $1.95.

Was that another flat tire?

No, it's the engine.

What's wrong with it?

I don't know till I look at it.

Doesn't seem to be anything Wrong with these parts.

Here's what's wrong with It, the head gasket blew out.

Where do you get those?

Got to phone a garage.

Where is there a phone?

We gotta walk till we find one.

Ohh!

Hello!

Howdy, folks. Hi.

Can you tell me where I can get a mechanic?

Harold's garage.

The operator there, She'll get it for you.

Thank you.

Something wrong?

My husband blew Out his head basket.

He must feel Terrib... Head basket?

Honey, order me Something to eat.

Yes, darling.

Would you please make My husband some hot cakes?

Sure will.

Is that the way you make it?

Yes, ma'am.

That's not the way I make it.

No?

I have a better way. You Want me to show you?

Oh, sure. I'm always glad To learn something new.

Now, let me see.

Now then, you just watch.

You see, it's very easy.

Do you have something To smooze with?

To do what with?

Well, you know... Oh, Here. A smoozer like this.

These are gonna be hot cakes?

Well, as soon as They bloop a little.

What do you mean Harold only fixes flats?

Yes, I saw his sign.

Yes, I heard it on the radio.

Well, where can I Get a head gasket?

Thank you. I'll try them.

That's enough blooping.

Now, watch closely And you'll see...

There... There we go...

Do you have a pots cover?

A what?

A pots cover. This Is a pots cover.

Ohh.

1, 2, 3.4. There!

I can't wait till Tomorrow morning.

I need a head gasket Now... Never mind.

Any luck, mister?

No. I'll never get Those apples to market.

I wouldn't worry.

A couple of truckers told Me the price was holding firm.

$1.75. Yeah? What is it?

$1.75. I could have Gotten that if I waited...

What are you doing back there?

Making you hot cakes.

Hot cakes! That's all I need.

I haven't got troubles enough?

Now, watch. This Is the last step.

See? Hot cakes?

Well, I'll be doggoned.

How about that?

Yeah. How about that?

Yeah. That's a Perfect head gasket.

I wonder if I were to Put this in the truck...

Oh, no. It'd never work.

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